Charlie: hello everybody! I see some lovely faces today! welcome to my new story! please remember that this is not a continuation of Battle for Dominance, but a sequel 85 years later from then

Narra: (scoff) doesn't sound any different

Charlie: well...ok. a continuation 85 years from Battle for Dominance. the characters are, in a way, new. they are not the same people from the other story though they do have the same names as to not confuse anyone.

Narra: so...this is it

Charlie: (looks around the same old studio) this is it

Narra: seems a lot less exciting then I would've expected

Charlie: whatever. oh and for everyone who "learned" about the pairing from the other story, know this, I had no idea what you guys were talking about. remember someone said Naru/Sasu and then something about I've never really liked this kind of pairing, but this is really great. yeah, I went to their profile and found a whole list of sasuke and naruto story. then I later found out that Naru/Sasu stands for Naruto woeing Sasuke.

Narra: you found that out in a couple days and how long you been on here? one, two years?

Charlie: ah, shut up

Disclaimer: none of these characters belong to me except for Halie Coron and Narra

NEWS: if any of you have quotes that have not been posted, feel free to send them in cause I seriously need some. they're kinda running out.

Pairing: the same old pairing, but do you guys like neji/tenten? I like it, but maybe I'll got with a different option this time. a guy option.

Quote:

"If someone had told me years ago that sharing a sense of humor was so vital to partnerships, I could have avoided a lot of sex!"

"No one is more enslaved than a slave who doesn't think they're enslaved."

"Everybody likes the underdog, because everybody feels like the underdog. No matter how successful you are, you always think, No one's being nice enough to me!"

"With every project you do, you bring out a part of yourself, and it seems to be quite a good way of expanding a person."

"I dropped out of Oxford, and now I only speak Russian with the woman who gives me a bikini-wax. See what Hollywood does to you?"

"If someone had told me when I was 19 that I was a bit funny-looking, can you go on a diet? I would've jumped off a building."

"I don't think he liked being in a cage and wouldn't stop masturbating and humping his bowl."

"Before they were soldiers, they were family. Before they were legends, they were heroes. Before there was a nation, there was a fight for freedom."

Death at Death's Door: The Endless

DEISIRE

HEIGHT: medium

EYES: tawny, sharp, as yellow wine

ODOR: summer peaches

FAVORITE COLOR: the color of sunset that makes you aches for love

HOBBY: being everything you've ever wanted

SPECIAL TALENT: casts two shadows, one black and sharp edged, the other translucent and wavering, like summer haze

DESPAIR

HEIGHT: shorter than desire, her twin

SKIN: clod and clammy

ODOR: none, but her shadows smells musky and pungent

EYES: the color of the sky on grey, wet days that leach the world of color and meaning

JOB: queen of her own bleak bourne, goddess of empty rooms

SPECIAL TALENT: patience

DESTINY

AGE: oldest of the endless

HEIGHT: tallest of the mortal eyes

EYES: believed to be blind

SPECIAL TALENT: traveling for beyond blindness, watching the intricate patterns living things make on their journey through time, casting shadows, leaving no footprints

ODOR: dust and the libraries of the night

DELIRIUM

AGE: older than suns, older than gods, but forever the youngest of the endless

EYES: one is vivid, emerald green with silver flecks, one is vein blue

FAVORITE COLOR: neon signs at 4 am

FAVORITE FOOD: little milk chocolate people with raspberry filling, fresh mange juice

LEAST FAVORITE FOOD:green mouse and telephone ice cream

ODOR: sweat, sour wines and old leather

SPECIAL TALENT: varied appearance, tangible shadow

DREAM

WEIGHT: rake thing

SKIN: the color of falling snow

EYES: black as a moonless, starless night

FAVORITE FOOD: banquets dream by sleping chefs

LEAST FAVORITE FOOD: junk food

JOB: lord shaper, king of dreams

HOBBY: accumulating names like other make friends

WEAKNESSES: permits himself few friends, brooding, proud

PERSONALITY: counsicious of his responsibilities, meticulous

Destruction

Not Available

DEATH

EYES: true and clear

SOUL: gentle

FAVORITE FLOWER: rose

JOB: divider of the living from all that has gone before, all that must come after

SPECIAL TALENT: to take on mortal flesh one day in every century, to better comprehend what the lives she takes the bitter tang of mortality

"Teachings that do not speak of pain have no meaning because humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return."

Human:

Water: 36L

Carbon: 20kg

Ammonia: 4L

Lime: 1.5kg

Phosphorus: 800oz.

Salt: 250g

Salt peter: 100oz.

Sulfur: 80oz.

Fluorine: 7.5oz.

Iron: 5g

Silicon: 3g

"A hero made wax into wings so he could fly. But when he got to close to the sun…to God…the wax melted and he crashed to the ground."

"Lose all your mind
And control the time
Down with thee
Now pay the fee"

Meeting a Stranger

By Charlie

Chapter One: Who the Hell Are You?

The door open and in walked a teenage boy with blonde hair. He wore casual clothes while every person around him wore a proper suit. Everyone waved and some even bowed. He smiled back at them as he went to the elevator. He gave a light shrug as they didn't notice anything…unusual. It was better that way.

The elevator dinged open to the 49th floor. It was the private section of the building and nobody, but the boss and the people he let in could walk on the carpet. Whoever did so would face extreme punishment.

Two security guards stood by the elevator and greeted him as he walked in.

The floor was where the boss's office was. The thing was nobody had ever seen their boss's face nor knew who he was. All they knew is his nephew would come by once in a while. That would be the blonde boy.

Behind a desk sat a brunette woman wearing a red suit. She was young and quite pretty; though don't let appearance deceive you. She could take you on with her highly trained martial arts. She handed him a cup of coffee and a folder as he came in. He nodded towards her and she smiled.

The boy went into the room down the hall and went in. Inside were old and middle-age men sitting around a big black table. They smiled or merely glanced at him in acknowledgement.

He sat down at the end of the table and opened up the folder. "Any news?"

The man sitting at the end of the table had white spiky hair and was huge. As in muscles. "Nope."

The blonde boy stopped writing and sigh wearily. "Stop the search. If she doesn't want to be found, then we can never find her."

"Naruto, stop beating yourself up over it. She did leave you a tape explaining why."

Everyone at the table boy their head. It was kind of shameful and awkward whenever they talked about it which they rarely did.

Flashback:

They were listening to a tape given by the blonde's "step-sister". Basically, she was the only family he had, even if they were not blood-related though sometimes it was impossible to tell; they acted so identical.

The point was, she had got up and vanished one night.

Hey, everybody. I know what you're thinking. Where the hell is she? What the fuck is she doing?

Some of them nodded in agreement.

Remember when we first met, Naruto?

The blonde boy called Naruto mentally nodded.

You always wanted to know why I named you Uzumaki Naruto, right? Ever heard of Uzumaki Naruto? He was a famous artist 106 years ago. I was his friend. See the thing is, I'm not exactly from your world. I'm from another dimension so to speak and I had to go back because I'm not allowed to stay here for long.

I'm sorry I left, but I did say good-bye.

Naruto somewhat sigh, remembering last night how she had acted really creepy and then said good-bye instead of good-night, but he hadn't thought anything of it. He just thought she was delusional.

He went back with me too. I'm still giving you something for your 21st birthday. It's being delivered so be here by six o'clock. Morning.

(pause) Sorry if I pushed you too hard. You didn't really seem like you were dying so I kinda kept piling it on you. Gotta admit it was fun. (laugh) Yeah, I'm sadistic, but you're not one to talk.

Anyway, this is the end. Take care of yourself. That was an order by the way. Oh, and everyone else, make sure that he's healthy and gets a girl…or boy.

Naruto felt like smashing the tape right about now.

Hey, I don't know how you swing, ok I do, but that's not the point. (Sigh) We'll never see each other again. Sorry, but I'll visit you when you die. I mean that's gotta count for something, right?

Sayonara.

He sighs again and was about to turn it off when…

P.S. This tape will self-destruct in 5 seconds.

They hit the floor immediately, except Naruto who stood their awkwardly. Come on, they fought in WWI or some kind of war.

Gee, I'm only joking. Humans, they never change.

Naruto turned off the tape and look down at them awkwardly. "Uh…I'm gonna go now."

End of Flashback.

Naruto waved it off. "I got over it about a week ago, Jiraiya."

The man called Jiraiya glare at him. "Then why did you make us search for her?"

"I needed you to leave," he said bluntly. Two guys at the other end of the table held off the angry man. Naruto yawned but a bit of amusement flicker in his eyes. "So what's the statistic?"

Jiraiya huffed and straightened out his suit. "Normal."

The boy nodded and clicked his pen. "What about the sales?" He tuned out the man the minute he opened his mouth. He looked to his left where Nara Shikamaru sat, the smartest of them. Sadly he wasn't second chairman. It was because the guy was too lazy to try any kind of competition and he said this place was closer to the door. What he said exactly was, "If anything happens, I'll be the first to leave." That included fires, floods (though he had no idea how), and bitchy business partners.

Sitting right across from Shikamaru was Yamakana Ino, the whiniest, loudest person he had ever met. At least that's what Shikamaru had said. Naruto found her choice of words amusing, especially when she's cussing out a certain lazy someone. Her blonde hair made a swooshing sound as she hand-combed it with her hand while listening to the old man. It was a dangerous habit. You never know where that bundle of hair would hit.

Beside Shikamaru was Inuzuka Kiba. Another loud somebody. He was nice and all, but sometime, you just couldn't help but feel that he needed to shut the hell up. They all liked the part where Temari beat the crap outta him.

Next was Chouji, a guy who weighed way over 200. Don't call him fat though. He could run faster than anyone in the Olympics. It was true. They'd seen it! It was a nice day in fact at the Olympic competition. Chouji just came for the food. He was eating a bag of chips, only one piece left, and then someone bumped him. The bag fell on one of the competitors head and he grabbed at it confusedly. Next thing the guy knew, he was running around the track being chase by a bull or at least he thought it was a bull. He didn't get to find out because he was trampled.

Chouji won the Olympics that day and ate his chips in peace.

The one next to him is Neji. Hyuuga Neji. A famous legend all over….wherever they lived. Sadly, he was blind. Ok, I'm kidding, he's not though his eyes looked like it. They were pale and when he looked at you, there was this eerie feeling like he could see right through you. That was scientifically impossible for Neji but he was very accurate while trying to figure out what a person is feeling or thinking.

Naruto hated it. He never liked anyone knowing what he was feeling. Other then Neji, the only other person who could tell what he was feeling was his cousin or sister. They were never specific on the family thingy. Sometime, he felt like she was his mother. She acted like one too. 'Naruto, go get the mail. Naruto, make dinner. Naruto, clean the toilet. Maybe not a mother, more like a slave driver. Oh, god, I miss those days though not the toilet part.'

On Naruto's right side was Ino. Then right beside her was Lee. Ugh! That was the first thing he had thought. Lee was practically a weirdo, even weirder then him and his sister/boss. The guy wore a bright green suit to work. Every. Single. Day. Worse yet, he had caterpillar eyebrows. Yuck. It was alright, they could handle that. What they couldn't handle is-.

"THAT WAS AN EXCELLENT SPEECH, JIRAIYA-SAMA! LET THE POWER OF YOUTH BE WITH YOU!"

That. They cannot stand that! At. All.

Suddenly Lee was choked, literally. Sitting by him was Temari, our beautiful lifesaver. She was always there to attack the green man whenever he got a little too hyper. It came with the job. That's right; Naruto paid Temari to shut Lee up when he got like that! No, that was not a bribe people, it was business.

Then there was our dear, innocent, fatherly Iruka. He was even more mature then Jiraiya. Iruka consoled Temari enough to make her let go of Lee's throat when he saw the boy turning purple, even if he did wish, sometimes, that the boy would just go straight to hell for all that shouting. Afterward, he had to go to church for forgiveness. Sometimes everyday of the week.

Even the priest got tired. The church was always open, but the priest was never there. Too bad for him, you couldn't lie in church.

Last was Jiraiya Sannin. Stay clear of him ladies, he's a big time pervert and isn't afraid to admit it either. Even though he was a pervert, he was a great chairman and writer. Yes, writer. The story he wrote had been perverted, but shockingly, it was a big hit and helped the company flourish. It was called Lover at Night.

All of them made up one strange family. Including the girl outside. She was Naruto's secretary and always made sure he was healthy. Kinda like a second mom. Her name was Tenten, the girl who had stolen Neji's heart. Neither of them knew it, but they both liked each other. Weird, huh?

Everyone one of them, except Jiraiya and Iruka who had worked here the longest, had just started working here about a year ago.

Naruto didn't trust any one of 'em at the start. You can't really blame him. I mean he used to live in a slum. Halie had taken him out of hell and brought him back to earth. He didn't find out right away, but she was rich. She used to own the company, but now that she disappeared, Naruto took care of it.

Halie went under a different name while running the place; nobody knew that, except the people sitting around Naruto. Everyone at the table swore to a code that they would never reveal that secret. The media busted they're heads trying to figure out who the real owner was.

The company did have business partners, but Halie chose to or not to tell them the truth. Luckily for him, she made a list of companies that he could trust. He didn't know exactly how, but considering what she said in the type…..

Anyway, their life together had always been a blast! They played pranks on everyone at the table and out of it.

Naruto really did miss her. He never really got over it, but he understood and accepted her decision. Somewhat.

Naruto yawned as he left the room, everyone else following behind him. "Bye," he said as they left. However, Neji stayed…just for a little bit. Naruto noticed it of course and thought up a brilliant idea. "Tenten."

His secretary looked up from her computer. "Yes?"

He leaned over the counter and asked slyly, "What day is it?"

"October 6th. Why?"

He slapped on a glare, aimed at her. "What the hell are you doing here for then? Isn't it your birthday? When I get out, I better see you gone," he said and slammed the door to his office shut.

Tenten made an 'ok' face and grabbed her purse. "What a bossy boss," though she was kinda glad. Naruto always make everyone go home for the day when it was their birthday. It was because he never knew his, though Halie gave him one. October tenth because that's when they met.

The door to Naruto's office opened and he peeked out. "Wait!" he called.

She turned around and a wrapped box was thrown at her. "Wha-? Thanks Naruto! You're the best!"

Neji looked longingly as she went to the elevator and turned to Naruto only to get another box thrown at him. He looked at it. It was black, small, and looked just the right size of something shiny. He turned to the door and got a wink then a slam. "Hey, Tenten, wait up!"

Naruto took his annoying alarm clock and threw it somewhere in a corner. It stopped ringing in about a minute. He got up and crossed the hall to the bathroom. This was his apartment. Halie wanted to teach him some business skills so she gave it to him for his 15th birthday. She gave him one thousand dollars, told him to go survive on it for 6 months, and kicked him outta the house.

What a way to turn 15, huh?

He had wanted the new Xbox everyone was talking about, but he knew she wouldn't talk to him for a whole week if he asked her for something he didn't need. He didn't really need it, he just wanted it. A big difference in Halie's dictionary.

She taught him values of life and not to be selfish or people would hate him. It was kinda true. She taught him that she was always right and he was almost always wrong. She taught him important things, but she didn't force it on him. Ok, so she didn't teach him much. All she did was simply tell him things when he was doing something wrong and showed him the consequences when he didn't listen.

Like once, he had ordered the maid, rudely, to get him a soda. She had told him it was bad to order people around so rudely, but he ignored her. Nobody talked to him, especially Halie, for days.

If he ordered the maid to talk to him, she listened, but her voice would always be angry, sad and disappointed. It made him feel a bit guilty. The only person he couldn't order to talk to him was Halie. She would hit him when he ordered her to. He apologized to the maid and got back everyone's respect.

Though he didn't abuse it like hitting someone and apologizing without really meaning to. She had told him so and he listened. He didn't fear her because she was reasonable and nice. She only hit him when he ordered her around…and when he was annoying, but she was always joking so that didn't really count.

He also learned when to be serious and when not to. Like if you have a meeting with your co-workers, you can act how you act at home, but if one of them just had a close someone die, that was when he shouldn't be joking around. Or when you're trying to get a company to sign a contract, act like yourself, but have manners. From your point of view this may seem wrong, but this is Halie here. She wants the other person to feel like they can be trusted.

If you don't get it then imagine walking into an office. You're about to sign a contract and you don't know if you should do it. The person whose making you sign it looks professional and neat, but looks can deceive. A twenty page contract is handed to you where more than half of the words on every page is college vocabulary.

Now imagine going into another office where the person sitting at the other end is wearing Capri's and a wrinkled t-shirt. They'll speak bluntly but with manners and give you a one page contract.

Both have a well-developed company and a firm, convincing voice. Which one would you choose?

That was how he grew up. Now he acted just like her. Well, almost.

It didn't end there. When she took him in, he was ten. He got a good meal, a home, and some education. She taught him everything a kid was to know in that year. Riding bicycling, swimming, etc. Halie also read him fairy tales to bed. He still kept the books till this day. Every single one of 'em.

On his 11th birthday, he got a book. Romeo and Juliet. He learned how to read it with her beside him. That year, she gave him tons of books. Pride and Prejudice, the Giver, and lots of others. Those he kept in the library back at the mansion.

She didn't force him to read it; it was out of his own free will though she did bribe him with chocolate cake the first time. Since he couldn't read it, she told him what a nasty woman the nurse was or how Romeo is a hormone-driven teenager. That got him interested. The other books, he read by himself and actually laughed at what one of the character said. Even though she made him a book-worm, she still wanted him to play and have fun. He did that gladly.

On his 12th birthday, she took him to work with her and showed him around. By the end of the day, he got a text book on managing businesses. That was a little bit extreme, so she agreed to get him anything he wanted if he could read the first few pages. It took him weeks, but he was able to read it and even understood a little of it. After he finished reading it, they went to Paris together on her private plane. He spent the whole week eating junk food and she couldn't say anything about it. Not that she minded since she joined him herself.

Almost every single day, he would go there after school and stay with her. Since there was nothing to do, she would make him take notes. Surprisingly as this sound, he enjoyed it since Jiraiya was there and there were some other people too. They would get really mad when he flirted with the lady sitting across from him and she would throw a pencil at him. Other times, the head chair man, who was an old guy, almost looked like he had a heart attack when coincidently, everyone had forgotten their report.

Before his 13th birthday, she had made him agree to a little deal with her. He would only get something for his birthday if, and only if, he passed all his class. So that year, they stayed home instead of doing anything for his birthday. He got a cupcake though and a curfew. The rest of year, he could stay up when he wanted though he couldn't play with his friends since he was so tired. He later found out it was a trick Halie set up. He slept at 8 without her having to tell him and got to play with his friends. The curfew wasn't a real punishment. She had figure that she had him work enough and didn't want him to die.

One night she found him reading that textbook she gave him for his 12th birthday and lying not far away was Hamlet. She told him he didn't have to read it, but he answered, "Why not? It's cool. Can I get The Three Musketeers by Alexandre Dumas for my next birthday?"

False as it sounds, it was true.

She made him eat his veggies for the rest of the year. The curfew wasn't even close to a punishment and all those books, he actually liked it so that's not anything either. He ate his veggies angrily, muttering something about bossy women. The only ones he liked was the spinach.

On his 14th birthday, Halie brought him to the Caribbean. He had passed school with a high grade. All those books paid off. They spent two weeks there in her summer house by her private beach. That was where he learned all the pranks and even made up some of his own. His language also changed. He would make a smart comment now and then, sometime angering Jiraiya because he had insulted his books. Halie would then question him how did he know if it was bad or not if he never read it, or did he?

On his 15th birthday, he had finished reading the textbook Halie gave him and even explain to her all the things he read. It was really weird that year. They had a private party in their BIG backyard with their friends. Halie gave him his gift the next day. It ripped it open only to find an envelope. Inside the envelope was a piece of paper. He thought it was a will, but it was actually a quiz on the textbook he had read. He aced it then she gave him a check of one thousand dollars.

This was where the weird part got really weird. Halie led him to the door where the driver was putting all his stuff in the car and told him to get in. They went to an apartment building where Halie gave him a key then left. He stood on the steps with a bag full of his clothes, shocked.

In the end, he went to his room, not before locking the building's front door. That was where he found it was empty. Of everything. No furniture. Nothing. There was however a small table in the center with another envelope on top. He opened it and got all that he needed. The thousand dollars she gave him was to buy furniture.

His objective was to manage the place, hire a guard, and all that stuff….in 6 months for him to return home. Luckily, he had his textbook with him and in 6 months, he went home.

The apartment was close to a university where new students would be looking for a place to stay. Halie made sure of it. Business was great and he even named the place. It was called the Tower. Naruto didn't rent out his room, he kept it for himself and even went back sometime to see how things were going. The apartment was given to the security guard to manage though it was still legally Naruto's.

On his 16th birthday, Halie gave him a car. You think he would be happy, but he wasn't. The car was an old broken down car that didn't even work! She gave him four textbooks then left him to fix it. One of the textbook was on how to drive the car. He got it in a month and took the car for a drive…without telling Halie. Later he got arrested for running a Stop sign. As if that wasn't bad enough, he had a thirty minute speed chase with the cops around the city. Halie was so angry she didn't bail him out until two days later. Turns out, he didn't even read the driving manual. He didn't even have a license and he didn't get it until about a month later.

Their driver taught Naruto and showed him a few moves he could do with the car, like drifting. He would've taught Naruto to pick up chicks with it, but Halie threatened to tell his wife about his "secret" stash. It wasn't really secret since she found it.

Naruto took an art class then painted his car. Halie made him do at least three paintings on a canvas before she let him quit the art class. One of them was kept in his room, another in Halie's room, and the last one was given to the driver for helping him out.

Unknown to Halie, Naruto learned about the birds and the bees from the driver.

Unknown to them, she burned his precious stash.

On his 17th birthday, Halie let Naruto handle the company…only for one day. He got so excited; he fired Jiraiya. Halie didn't punish him for it though because she did it a few times too. She rehired the guy back the next day. It was also the year that he would be going off to college. He decided to quit school and manage the company with Halie, but she said that he needed at least a degree for professional purposes.

She also made him move back to his apartment until he finished college for personal purposes. During his first year of college, he got along great with everyone and enjoyed the midnight parties they had in the dorms (he snuck in), but class was boring. He only took up one class because he already finished the other needed classes and because Halie said so. So he then took up two more classes. Business Management and Literature.

In college, he learned how to speak French, Latin, Dutch (no reason as to why), English (they live in Japan), and Chinese. He had already learned Spanish in high school and was able to cuss some people out.

On his 18th birthday, Halie met him after school. His friends were right behind him and started talking about the hot chick by the black Corvette. Naruto almost died from shock when he saw her there, holding a present no bigger then both his hands. His friends went over first and flirted with her. He tried to stop them at least.

He sheepishly wave hi to her, kind of embarrassed that she was here. His friends asked him does he know her and he replied, "Kinda." She glared at him for the comment and threw his present at him then left without a word. He caught it of course and felt kind of sad about her leaving like that so he went after her in his car. His friends begged to come along of course.

Halie drove at full speed angrily. Kinda? Kinda! They've been living together for years and all he can say was KINDA! She looked in her rear mirror and saw him following her. She sped up off the free way and to the mountains. There weren't any red lights there.

For 15 minutes, he followed her while his friends yelled for him to stop. She had gotten over the comment, but that didn't mean she couldn't have a little fun. She drifted to the edge of the ravine and drove out of sight.

Naruto stopped the car. There was no way he could've made it. Then a car drove up beside his and rolled down the window.

Halie invited them back to the mansion and they had cheese cake. Naruto opened his present and stared at it confusedly. It was a cylinder sort of thing. She told him to take Cryptology and not to try to break it or the message would be erased.

So he had to take Cryptology next semester and found it was a cryptex. He spent weeks and months on it until in a moment of frustration; he rode over it with his car. The message was smeared with vinegar when he finally got it outta there. Halie gave him another one, but she said the message was different and that he'd never know what the other one was. He learned patient.

On his 19th birthday, Halie took him to a run-down building. He had rolled his eyes and asked, "What now?" He had wanted a room designed like his room and had all the necessities that over looked the ocean on one side and the city on the other. Maybe on the other side overlooking something green. He even told her that, but she only scoffed and walked away. Pretty pitiful, right?

Back in the building, she told him to stay here and manage it. It was close to his school, so he could sleep here then she left him. The place was empty! He realized it was some kind of school, but then a phone call from Halie and he found out it was an orphanage. Halie didn't let him borrow any money so he got some from the bank and rebuilt the whole place.

Next, he filled the orphanage with kids he found on the streets. Yeah, it's a little wrong, but that was the only way he could think of. Then he hired some workers and planted some stuff. The only way he could get money was by charity so he set one up with the school and some other corporations. Kids from his school come over for charity works from the church and community service.

During that time, Naruto dropped Cryptology and took up Psychology. Some of the kids had problems in the past and he helped them through it. Naruto hired a lady called Tsunade to take over. When he was getting ready to leave, the kids cried and pounced on him, saying he couldn't go. Halie walked through the door and rolled her eyes. One of them glared and asked if she was taking Naruto away. Her answer was yes of course and then they formed a line in front of him and said go away witch. Naruto covered as many little mouths as he could, but Halie heard it and she glared back at them. They shivered and quickly hid behind Naruto. She snorted and looked at Naruto then left. He sighed, patted their little heads, promising to be back, then left.

On his 20th birthday, Halie reluctantly gave him the key to the mansion. Yes, it's true folks. All those years and he's never had the keys to his own house. Naruto gleefully hopped around with it in his hands and dropped it exactly 16 times before Halie slapped him up the side of his head. Naruto spent almost the entire day opening the door to the mansion and several others he hadn't been able to. He found that the whole mansion had exactly 3 large libraries with books from all over the world, hundreds of rooms and bathrooms, a basement full of wine that are older then the servants age put together, a secret room that led all over the house, a tree house and a large attic.

Halie showed him the tree house in their backyard. Behind the house was a patio then a large pool, next was a large field of grass. All the way in the back was a bunch of redwood trees. In the center of the woods, there was one that was larger then all the others. Somewhere in the barks was a small keyhole that allows you to open a door in the tree. Once you go inside, there's an elevator that takes you a few feet up to a room. High up, you can see everything around you and it's a good camouflage since the branches are bunch so close together that no one can see you.

That was also the year that everyone of the 49th floor meeting was replaced since they were going into retirement.

Naruto spent four years in college until he finally went back home. He got at least five degrees for Business Management, Literature, Foreign Language, Psychology, and Cryptology. To celebrate, Halie took him to America to see all of the 50 states.

Five days before his birthday, Halie disappeared without a trace.

Naruto waved bye to the guard and went to work. Today was his birthday. He felt a little excited since he doesn't know what Halie was giving him exactly. She was always a surprise. Some people might think that he grew up too quickly for a kid or that she was always was too hard on him, but he never felt that way. It was really fun and challenging growing up with her beside him. He was hoping that never end.

At work he got the same good morning. The only one who acted the most normal was probably the young lady at the counter. Naruto had gotten her the job personally. She had been kicked out of her apartment when they found her.

Heh, she was probably the only person outside of the secretary of the 49th floor that knew who he really was.

He went up to the same meeting room from yesterday. Everybody was already seated when he got there…as usual. Funny thing was, other companies would be checking over their paperwork, but here were his co-workers playing cards. Last time (when Halie was still here), he saw them playing tag. It was a pretty big room and kind of creepy. It's weird when you walk into a room and saw people who were fit to be your grandfather running around.

Naruto chatted endlessly with Shikamaru while he waited for the delivery guy. Shikamaru listened to parts of what the blonde was saying, but just stared out into the sky at the clouds. It was a nice day out, but he couldn't miss this meeting. This one especially.

The phone rang and everybody settled down. Naruto picked it up, grinning. "Hello, Tenten." He purposely said Tenten's name out loud because he knew it would unnerve Neji. "Send them in."

Everyone waited as the door opened and two guys stepped in. The first one wore a delivery uniform with a package in hand. The other one was a boy who looked about the same age as Naruto. The weird thing was he had a collar and a card around his neck. Also including the chains on his hands that were tied to the collar, like he was a prisoner.

Naruto coughed to ignore the stares he was getting as he signed s his name. "Who's the boy?"

The delivery guy shrug. "He was asked to be delivered."

"B-But…he's a boy."

"Well, he's yours now," the guy said and left, after handing him both the package and the boy.

"Uh….," Naruto didn't know what to say. Now that he looked at the boy in front of him, he was quite attractive, but definitely not his type. The boy had red hair with a cool tattoo of the word (written in kanji) love on his forehead.

Naruto sat down and begin opening the package.

"He's cute," said Jiraiya.

"Shut up." Inside was a brown envelope with his name on it and a set of keys. He opens the envelope first and his jaw dropped from the extreme overload of shock.

That caught all of their attention.

"I-It's a w-will….for me!" The paper was handed down to Jiraiya who read over it and nodded.

"Well, yeah. It's obvious that she would leave everything to you."

"E-Everything? You mean…."

He nodded again.

Everything meant she left him the company, the cars, the big-ass mansion with indoor and outdoor pool, and her houses. Notice the 's' at the end of the word. The mansion was their home and the other houses were for summer vacation, winter vacation, a surprise (it gave Jiraiya high blood pressure) vacation, just-for-the-hell-of-it vacation, and relaxation vacation. The houses were all over the place. There was one in Paris, Caribbean, Korean, China, Hawaii, somewhere in America, and somewhere here.

Kiba groaned in jealousy. "Man, why couldn't she have kidnapped me!" he said loudly.

Naruto chuckled amusingly. "Heh, loser."

"Aww, shut up."

Under the keys was a single piece of paper. He picks it up and read it. Brain shutting down in…..

5…..

…4….

….3……

…..2…

…..1.

THUMP! Naruto hands went limp and fell on the table with the paper clutched in his hands. Shikamaru carefully slipped it out while his brain was still down and read it.

I'm leaving you everything so don't go wasting it. The red headed kid is your new bodyguard since you obviously need it. F.Y.I. he's an insane psychopath, but don't worry, he's ordered not to kill you. One of the two keys in the box is for the 50th floor of this building. Check it out after, okay? The other one is for the lake house. Go there for a week to relax.

The kid's name is Gaara. Don't forget to feed him and everything. Again take care of yourself.

Love, Halie.

P.S. You can-.

Shikamaru cut off after the 'You can' part.

Naruto looked at the lazy boy who now was staring at the paper. "S-She's crazy."

He nodded.

Neji couldn't take it anymore and snatched the paper. He read it out loud and….well…just stopped.

-use Gaara to "relieve" some stress if you like. He doesn't mind.

The paper was passed around to everyone. Gaara didn't seem to care at all. And another thing, the boy didn't seem to have any eyebrows. A new discovery of human hair. Or hairless.

Naruto looked up at Gaara and eyed the card tied to his collar. Somewhat hesitantly, he got the card though not wanting to touch the boy. He opened it up and read the content.

Don't be stupid in your command or you might get him killed. Oh, take the chain from his hand and hold it. Ask Jiraiya what it looks like.

Naruto frowned. 'What the hell?' But he did as told and looked back at the card. "Uh…Jiraiya, Halie asks what does this look like?" It came out more of a confusing question.

Jiraiya grinned, so does Kiba and Temari. Yeah, the others were amused, but not enough to grin like a pervert. Iruka the least of all since he was like a Christian father.

"Kinky," said Jiraiya.

Naruto looked at his hand and imagined from a third-person's view. His hand dropped the chain immediately. "You are all evil," he said not looking at Gaara. "I don't care that you guys didn't do anything, you're all evil. See, I'm gonna be checking out the suite upstairs while you guys stay here and weep about it," he grabbed both the keys and left, leaving Gaara.

Everyone looked at the door to see it open again. Naruto held the door while Gaara walked by. He nodded dumbly to himself and closed the door again.

Kiba coughed and stood up.

"You're not going with him," said Temari.

He sat back down immediately.

Naruto went to the elevator follow by his…uh…bodyguard. He was given odd looks from both of the guards as he walks through the doors. When the door shut, he panicked. He was in here alone with his…..bodyguard. So to busy himself, he try to find the button to the 50th floor only to find that it wasn't exactly there.

Beside him, Gaara looked at him amusedly.

The guards looked at the door only to see Naruto getting out, frustrated.

"Do any of you guys know how to get to the 50th floor?"

They looked at each other confusingly. "There's a 50th floor?"

Naruto glared at the damn floor. "That b-argh!" It was the cryptex thing all over again. He went back to the meeting room. He could never call her a bitch. It's not that he didn't want to, it's because he learned that whenever he did, something bad happen to him. Even if she's gone he wasn't taking a chance.

Everyone looked up as he came through.

"What happened? I thought you were going to your "suite"," teased Kiba.

Naruto sucked his teeth and looked at Gaara. "If I tell you to kill him, will you?"

"I do whatever you want me to."

Naruto grinned evilly at Kiba who looked like he was ready to kill himself before the red head even move. "Oh, Kiba. My dear Kiba."

The others watch amusedly. Of course if Naruto's anger was aimed at them, they'd jump out the window right away before the blonde could speak.

"What fun I'm going to have. Now do any of you know how to get to the 50th floor?"

The same look was shared then Jiraiya was the one who spoke. "Yeah, about that. I have been meaning to ask you. What are you talking about?"

"She never told you guys?" asked Naruto disbelieving.

Shikamaru shrugged. "We thought you knew what she was talking about. You walked out here quite confidently."

"I have a rough idea! A very rough idea!"

Gaara chuckled catching everyone's attention. "Lady said not to tell you until you promise to find iemand aan liefde."

Naruto thought about it. He never really had much interest in that particular language so he didn't study the whole thing. "I know this one. Wait, I think I got it. Oh, it's someone-." He stopped and took in a sharp breath. "Why would I agree to something like that when I don't even know what the suite looks like?"

"Lady said you would say that. Het is wat u voor uw 19de verjaardag wilde."

Quicker then lightening, he said, "I promise to find iemand aan liefde."

Jiraiya leaned over to Neji. "What the hell are they saying?"

"I think it's Dutch."

"So you know what they're saying?" he asked eagerly.

"No," came the flat answer.

Gaara turned toward the door and looked back at him. Naruto followed right behind him. As soon as the door closed, everyone shared an odd look and got up to follow them.

Naruto's eyebrow twitch. "T-This is…."

Jiraiya nodded in understanding. 'In the midst of a crisis, it's better to pretend to know what you're doing.'

"…..the storage room!" Gaara had led them around to the other side of the building to a storage room.

Kiba leaned over to Shikamaru. "These gifts are weird."

Naruto sighed and put in the key. Surprisingly it fit perfectly. He turned it and it clicked. The door creaked open and everyone waited to see what was inside. They gave a sigh of disappointment when all there was were brooms and bottles of cleaning detergent.

"Uh, Gaara?" The boy chose to ignore him and went into the small room. "Tsk." Naruto peeked inside. The room wasn't that big and seemed to fit only two people, but with all the supplies it added s up to about one-and-a-half.

Gaara parted the supplies on the right side of the way and Naruto's eyes widened when he saw a doorknob. An actual doorknob in the wall, but the edges didn't look like a door. Another shocking thing was Gaara turned the knob and it opened. The whole wall opened into a lit elevator. Gaara stepped in and Naruto did so hesitantly.

"Lady said only you and I can enter. The ones who can is your choice."

Naruto weight the cons and pros. Jiraiya and Kiba would take over the whole whatever it was up there. "Leave them." He stuck his tongue out at them as the door closed.

"Naruto, you brat!" yelled Kiba as he charged forward only to slam into a metal door.

He looked confusedly around the room. "What now?"

Gaara pointed to the keyhole on the side of the wall.

Naruto rubbed his hand excitedly as the door opened. However, only contentment remained in his heart when he saw the place. He eyed the box on the counter and smiled.

"Lady said you would like it."

He walked toward the box where on top of it was an old music box made out of wood. He opened it to a gentle piano music of Fur Elise.

"She wanted to play it for you. Tanjoubi omedetou, master."

He looked out the window at the sunset. "Ah."

Naruto carried the box with him out of the storage room and back away immediately when he saw his co-workers.

They crept forward at him with hungry-like-zombie faces. "How was it?"

"What was up there?"

"Can I come next time?"

A big sweat drop appeared on his head. "Um…I-it was great," he said then they leered at him with creepy dead puppy eyes. "Stop doing that! It's gross!"

Kiba eyed the box like a big piece of t-bone. "What's that?"

"It's my present," he said proudly then he looked down at it while smiling softly. "Gomen, but I'll show you the room next time."

Kiba crossed his arms and pouted. "You better," he said, the curve of his mouth slowly making its way into smile. "Oh, she's looking for you."

Naruto's face paled. "D-Don't t-tell m-me-."

"She's on her way."

He gasped and ran for his office. "Tenten, don't let anyone in!" He stopped as he tried the handle again and again. "Uh, T-Tenten?"

She gave him her dullest face. "Eh, who are you?"

"Tenten, this isn't the time!"

"It's your birthday. I already made plans for your trip to the lake house. You're supposed to be at home packing."

"I-I know, b-but Tenten, T-Ts-."

"Naruto," said a voice from behind him.

He turned around and gulps.

Everyone looked at the office door and wince as screams after screams came from inside it.

"STOP! WHAT'S THAT? WATCHING WHERE YOU'RE STICKING IT1"

But they were curious as to what was going on so they listened instead of helping their boss.

"IS THAT IT? ARE YOU FINISHED? H-HEY, EASY! AHHHHHHHHH!"

Shikamaru rubbed his head and yawned. "Well, I'm leaving."

"Don't you wanna know what happened?" asked Kiba.

"Yeah, but 4 years later, it gets a little old," he said and left. Neji got up also and left, Tenten following after.

Ino, Lee, Iruka, and Temari all left, leaving Kiba and Jiraiya. When the door opened they all jumped back as if they hadn't been trying to listen in, not that there was anything to hear except Naruto's baby cries.

Naruto came out, his clothes were wrinkled up like they had….been through….something and he seem to be trembling. "T-That w-wasn't s-s-so b-bad," he spoke with a sense of drunkenness.

A lady with blonde pigtails and in a nurse's uniform walked out. "That brat gets stronger every year."

"O-Oi, T-Tsunade-b-bachan, c-can I-I g-go?" said Naruto. It sounded like a combination of giddiness and fear.

As the blonde boy left, Kiba turned to Jiraiya. "Ok, what just happened?" he asked, but the man was grinning at the lady call Tsunade.

"Oh, Tsunade, haven't seen you in a long time?"

Tsunade rolled her eyes. "We met yesterday."

"Really? I don't remember. Then how 'bout a drink? I'll buy," Jiraiya said eagerly.

"Whatever," she said and let him lead her out.

Kiba's eyes slanted as his head. "Did you get that?"

Now, you're probably wondering where was Gaara while this was happening. After Tsunade had taken Naruto away, he went-.

"Ahhhhhhhhh! WTH?" Naruto screech as Gaara sat up from the backseat of his car. "What the hell do you think you're doing! OMG! I thought you were a psychotic killer on the loose!" 'Wait,' he thought on it for a sec. 'It was half true.'

He was brought out of his thought when a horn honked from behind his car. He had forgotten he was in the middle of the streets and quickly drove away at full speed.

Gaara leaned on Naruto's chair as they stopped in front of a store. "What are we doing here, master?"

Naruto growled in irritation. "Stop calling me that. It sounds perverted."

"But Lady told me to," he said smiling adorably.

Naruto didn't know whether to pat him on the head or run. Being told that his bodyguard was insane and now smiling, that didn't settle well with him.

However, Gaara seemed to notice his discomfort and stopped somewhat sadly as if he wasn't allowed to smile. "Are we going in?"

Naruto got out the car and opened the door for him. "I'm sorry," he said and went in leaving a stunned Gaara behind. He's never had anyone say sorry to him before. It was always the other way around and a slapping.

Inside, Naruto bought him a ton of clothes and other necessities. Then they went to eat, well more like Naruto since Gaara barely ate three bites, claiming that Lady had already bought him something to eat.

That caught Naruto's attention and he looked up, wanting to ask, but decided against it.

Back in the car, Gaara mused on the answer as to why his master didn't order him to. As Lady said, the boy was unique and all-around weird, but kind.

"What do you know about, Nee-chan?" Naruto call her differently every time because he didn't know exactly what to call her.

The question caught Gaara off guard. He hadn't expected the question…or at least so soon. "Nothing."

Naruto almost stopped the car when he heard that, but instead he smiled. "I see."

"What about you, meijin?" Gaara asked.

"…nothing."

"Then why-."

"Don't know," he answered immediately. He really didn't know why he had trusted Halie and followed her without a suspicion. "Probably instinct." Naruto stopped the car outside of the apartment building. "If I take the collar off, you're not gonna go on a killing spree like Jet Li, are you?

Gaara gave him an odd look and shook his head. He even took the collar off himself to prove it.

"Why did you wear it?"

"Lady said it looked cute."

Naruto sweat dropped. "I-I see." He prayed nothing would happen from the door to the elevator, but the Gods were not on his side today. Well, they were…up till his 21st birthday.

The guard at the entrance waved to him then notices the red head following obediently behind. "Oh, Naruto, I didn't know you were having "guest" and a cute one too."

"Will you stop already? He's my present," the minute the words came out of his mouth, he regretted it.

"Present, huh? What's his name?"

"None of your business." Naruto groaned and hurried to the elevator. He glared at the guard, who winked at him, when the door closed. "Don't mind him. He's always like that. A little perverted, but he's really nice."

Gaara nodded. 'This will be a strange life.'

They exit the elevator and were immediately engulfed with shouting and something breaking. Gaara was cautious. He wanted to be ready when someone attacked Naruto, but the blonde boy calmly walked to his room.

"The guy's mother comes over every now and then. This is a normal routine." He opened the door and waited for Gaara to come. "Makes a wicked pot roast."

The apartment was decorated simply and it was….clean. With the description that Gaara was given, he thought this place be a pig sty. There was a small coffee table, couch, TV that you could make a couple bucks with at the pawn shop, and a clean kitchen.

Naruto made his way with the clothes to a room and put everything on the bed. "This will be your room. It's a little small, but it'll do. Pick out a week of clothing and put it into this bag." He grabbed a duffel bag from under the bed and set it on top. "Everything else put it in the drawer. Do you like books?"

Gaara stared at him confused. It wasn't that he's never heard of books, but rather-. "I'm allowed to have books?"

He sweat dropped. 'Great, I've been given an outdated robot.' "Yes, you're allowed to have books. What kind do you like?" He was given another confused look. "How about we stop by the mansion and maybe spend a couple hours there, ok?" Nod. "What about music? You know what, don't answer that."

Naruto kicked a box by Gaara. "Put the books you like in here and we'll bring it along. I'll come back later." Then he left to pack his own things.

Gaara look at the small box and the shelf. 'Books?'

Naruto loaded a bag into his car and some snacks for the trip. An old lady came out and handed him two bento boxes. "Nana, I already packed some."

"Yeah, but don't mind," she said and held them out. He took them without another question. "I hope you friend like shrimps."

He frowned. It's been a little while; hopefully the little guy hadn't died. "I better go check on him. Put those in for me," he handed her the boxes and ran into the house. Naruto opened the door to the library and sighed in relief when he saw Gaara sitting on a table, waiting obediently for him.

Naruto pick up the box and smile. "Wow, you got a lot."

Gaara nodded. "I couldn't fit the others in though."

"Others?"

He looked down. Naruto's eyes followed and they almost popped right outta their sockets. Apparently Gaara hadn't been sitting on a table at all.

"Wow, t-that is a lot. Are you gonna be able to read them all?" 'Or survive?'

Gaara bowed his head.

It looked like he was about to cry and Naruto couldn't stand it when people cried. Even if it was a boy. "W-Well, maybe just a f-few."

Naruto forced smile at the happy boy as he drove his car. They had ended up taking it all. 'At least he'll be busy.'

He yawned as it grew close to night. He had been driving for more then eight hours straight.

"Are you tired?"

He almost jumped at the voice. Gaara had been reading for more then eight hours straight, but the boy didn't look the least bit tired.

"Kinda. C-Can….uh…" He didn't want to end up in a ditch somewhere. Yeah, somehow his brain had come to the conclusion that Gaara couldn't drive.

"I can drive for you."

"Y-You c-can?"

"Lady taught me how," said the voice proudly.

"S-She d-did?" Halie's driving could win them 10 NASCAR Championship in a row. Dangerous and kinda nauseous, but fast. Naruto argued with all the knowledge that he had, but ten minutes later Gaara ended up driving somewhat hesitantly, and Naruto sleeping.

Naruto opened his eyes and shut them immediately when he saw the blaring sun. He blinked away the sleep and yawned. "Where are we?"

"We're here."

"Hmm." He sat up in his chair and indeed there in front of them was a big house by a lake. "That was fast." He looked over to the other boy and screamed. Gaara now looked like a raccoon on crack. "Whoa! What happened?"

"I stopped for a few cups of coffee."

When the car stopped, Naruto looked around for something to help the boy. "We're gonna need sleeping pills." He took another look at Gaara's face. "A lot of sleeping pills."

"You mean these?"

He looked at where the hand pointed to two empty bottles of sleeping pills. "Oh my god! Exactly how many cups did you drink?"

Gaara looked deep in thought for a few seconds. "I lost count after my twentieth cup."

He took a deep breath, forcefully. "Ok, we can figure this out. We just need to stay clam." Then there was this blaring sound coming closer and closer. He looked in the rear mirror and saw a bunch of red lights. "Gaara, what are those?"

"Oh, about that," said the boy sheepishly. "I passed a couple of red lights."

"We drove on the freeway. There are no red lights!"

"Really? I thought I saw something re-." Gaara stopped talking and looked at the red fluffy dice dangling on the rear mirror. "Oops."

Naruto learned that having a bad record could make you seem like a liar. He had told the cops the story and begged for an excuse, but because of his "experience", he was put on probation. Luckily they hadn't arrested him. But Naruto had to argue that one, he can not be on probation, so he calls up Kiba because as he knows it, everyone else was either a deep sleeper or "busy".

"Hey, Kiba! Thank god you answered," he cried happily. "I'm in a bit of trouble so can yah help me out?"

"Trouble? Oh, yeah, when you're in trouble you call me! But what about the suite? I wanted to go see the suite! But no, you're all 'leave them the fuck behind'!"

Naruto eyed the cops who watched him like he might run away. "Look, if you don't help me, I will deduct your salary and tell Hinata about your trip to Hawaii!" he threatened.

Unfortunately for him, Kiba was fearless when in his "sleeping" state.

"GO AHEAD TELL HER FOR ALL I CARE! YOU'RE GONNA GET ARRESTED WHILE I LAY IN BED SIPPING CHAMPAGNE! GO TO HELL YOU BASTARD!"

A loud clicking and that was the end of the conversation. Naruto got probation while Gaara was being checked up on. They had gotten the idea that Naruto kidnapped the boy because Gaara called him "master". Then they all had a big-laugh-shock face when they found out that Gaara legally belonged to Naruto.

Naruto held up a hand as Gaara tried to explain. "I'm not angry. Let's just go inside and get some sleep." He grabbed a bag and slung it over his shoulder. 'I AM SO PISSED!"

He went upstairs to his room and turned on the lights. He had to hold back a gasp as he saw a boy sitting on his bed. It looked like the boy had just gotten up from a nap and seems just as shocked as he was. They stare at each other until Naruto open his mouth and asked a very reasonable question. "Who the hell are you?"

Charlie: what do you think? too much information at one time? no mystery? it hasn't end here so please don't erase me from your alert list!

Narra: (growl angrily) they should

Charlie: (glare) alright that's it! is there something we need to discuss cause your PMS-ing ass is pissing me off!

Narra: (glare right back) you wanna know what's wrong! you left me here without light or food!

Charlie: oh, come on! it was only for a couple of days! and you had the food, you could've ordered a pizza or something

Narra: no light means no electricity! how the hell am I suppose to order a pizza? airline express?

(from Freaky Friday)

Tess (in Anna's body): I don't believe in physical contact with the opposite sex. At all. Ever. Nothing.

Tess (in Anna's body): Role-playing! Her idea. New therapeutic technique. Switching points of view.

Grandpa: If I switch with Harry, do I have to wear a thong?

Harry: (mocking Grandpa) Earthquake. Save me. Earthquake.

Tess (in Anna's body): You pierced your navel?

Anna (in Tess's body): Yeah, I... meant to talk to you about that.

Tess (in Anna's body): When did you do this?

Anna (in Tess's body): At Maddie's cousin's sweet 16.

Tess (in Anna's body): Well, when you get your body back, it's grounded.

Anna (in Tess's body): It's easy to be you. I'll just suck the fun out of everything.

Tess (in Anna's body): I do not suck the fun out of everything.

Anna (in Tess's body): Fun-sucker.

Grandpa: (about Anna) Stop groveling, man. Let her come to YOU.

Ryan: She'd come with a hatchet.

Tess: Root canal? That's not fair, they're not my teeth.

Anna (in Tess's body): Like cooking: I mean, have you never heard of takeout? And cleaning: let's don't and say we did. Quality time with your kids: You know what? Quit bugging 'em. Leave 'em alone. They like it!

Ryan: OK, where are we going next, Harry's school?

Anna (in Tess's body): Oh, he can walk from here.

Harry: It's 20 blocks!

Anna (in Tess's body): Fresh air will do you good.

Harry: But what about bullies?

Anna (in Tess's body): Run fast.

(as he holds Tess's hand)
Ryan: One more day.

Anna (in Tess's body): Yeah, it's great we're getting married, isn't it? Even though my husband died. How quickly I've been able to get over it.

Tess (in Anna's body): Honey. Look, I think something's happened to us.

Anna (in Tess's body): What are you?

Tess (in Anna's body): It's me, Mom.

Anna (in Tess's body): You're not my mother!

Tess (in Anna's body): Yes, I am.

Anna (in Tess's body): Get away, you clone freak!

Tess (in Anna's body): Don't you use that tone with me!

Anna (in Tess's body): Oh my God, you are my mother!

Tess (in Anna's body): And what are you doing with this?

(grabs box of french fries)
Anna (in Tess's body): I'm eating.

Tess (in Anna's body): You cannot eat fast food.

Anna (in Tess's body): Why not?

Tess (in Anna's body): Because it will go down your throat and drop instantly to my thighs!

Dotties Robinson: Loved your book, I actually read this one.

Anna (in Tess's body): That makes one of us.

Tess (in Anna's body): She is dead, worse than dead. She will spend the next year in a phoneless, dateless, Amish existence!

Anna (in Tess's body): So, let's do this thingy.

Ryan: You mean our wedding rehearsal?

Anna (in Tess's body): Yeah, whatever.

Ryan: You know what, I'm not really a prying kind of guy, but just for the heck of it, I was wondering what you were doing on the eve of our wedding straddling some guy on the back of a big black Harley?

Anna (in Tess's body): Hello, it was a Ducati!

Anna (in Tess's body): Mom, maybe we should go to the emergency room.

Tess (in Anna's body): Oh no! All that will get us is a 72-hour lockdown in a psych ward and a Thorazine drip. No, we're not going anywhere.

(last lines)
Pei-Pei: Mama! What are you doing? Mama! Grandpa! Harry! No! (tackles them, grabs cookies) Okay!

Tess: Hello, Dr. Coleman. Yes, Elizabeth. Yes, Elizabeth, I'll be at the appointment tomorrow. Ok, good. And Elizabeth, remember, you are a smart, strong, beautiful, independent woman and you don't need a man to complete you.

Butcher Woman: Thank you.

Tess: (awkwardly) Goodbye.

Ryan: (hearing Anna scream because her door is gone) She saw it.

Grandpa: (gets up quick) I'm gonna check those Lakers.

Ryan: I'm with you...

(from the Parent Trap)

Hallie: You wanna know the real difference between us?

Annie: Let me see... I know how to fence and you don't... Or I have class and you don't. Take your pick.

Hallie: Why I oughta!

Annie as Hallie: I know what mystery my father sees in you.

Meredith: You do?

Annie as Hallie: You're young, beautiful, sexy, and hey the guy is only human, but if you ask me marriage is supposed to be based on more then just sex.

Annie: That girl is, without a doubt, the most horrible creature that ever walked the face of this planet!

Hallie: (watching from outside) Thank you, thank you very much.

Annie:(Hallie just finished cutting Annie's hair to look like hers) This is so scary.

Hallie: Honey you never looked better.

Grandpa Charles: (Annie smells him) What are you doing?

Hallie as Annie: Making a memory! Years from now when I'm all grown up I'll always remember my grandfather and how he always smelled of (smells him again) peppermint and pipe tobacco.

Hallie as Annie: (crying, seeing her mother for the first time) I'm sorry, it's just I've missed you so much.

Elizabeth: I know, it seems like it's been forever.

Hallie as Annie: You have no idea.

Annie as Hallie: (after a discussion about how Annie as Hallie seems different to Chessy) Chessy, I changed a lot over the summer, that's all.

Chessy, the Parker's Maid: OK, boy if I didn't know any better I'd say it's almost like you were... forget it, it's impossible.

Annie as Hallie: Almost if I were who, Chessy?

Chessy: Nobody, nobody, forget I mentioned it.

Annie as Hallie: Almost if I were, Annie?

Chessy: You know about Annie?

Annie as Hallie: I am Annie.

Elizabeth: (after Hallie as Annie reveals the truth) You're not Annie?

Hallie as Annie: That would be correct.

Elizabeth: You're Hallie?

Hallie as Annie: I am. Annie and I met at the camp and, and we decided to switch places. I'm sorry, but I've never seen you and I've dreamt of meeting you my whole life and Annie felt the exact same way about Dad so, so we sort of just switched lives. I hope you're not mad because I love you so much, and I just hope that one day you could love me as me, and not as Annie.

Elizabeth: Oh darling, I've loved you your whole life.

Martin, the Jame's butler: (sobbing) I've never been so happy in my entire life.

Hallie as Annie: His and hers kids. No offense, Mom, but this arrangement really sucks.

Elizabeth: I agree, it totally sucks.

Annie:(Hallie is getting ready to cut Annie's hair) Don't shut YOUR eyes!

Hallie: Sorry, I'm just a little nervous!

Annie: YOU'RE nervous? An 11 year-old is cutting my hair!

Hallie: (playing poker with Annie at camp) I'll tell you what. I'll make you a little deal. Loser jumps into the lake after the game.

Annie: Excellent.

Hallie: Butt naked.

Annie: Even more excellent. Start unzipping Parker. Straight, in diamonds.

Hallie: Wow, you're good James. But, you're just not good enough. In your honor, a royal flush.

Meredith: You know, the way your father described you, I expected a little girl, but you are so grown-up.

Annie as Hallie: I'll be twelve soon. How old are you?

Meredith: Twenty-six.

Annie as Hallie: Only fifteen years older than me! How old are you again, Dad?

Nick Parker: Wow, suddenly you're so interested in math!

Annie: Any of your pictures ruined?

Hallie: Only the beautiful Leo DiCaprio...

Annie: Who?

Hallie: You've never heard of Leonardo DiCaprio? How far away is London anyway?

Nick: (hiking) I'm going to take the lead. You two help Meredith.

Meredith: (looks at the girls) Sure you'll help me. Right over a cliff you'll help me...

Hallie: (whispering to Annie) That's actually not a bad idea.

Annie: Yeah, see any cliffs?

Marva Kulp, Sr.: Excuse me, girls. I just have to have a taste of these gorgeous strawberries. Would you like some?

Hallie: Oh, no thanks. I'm allergic.

Marva Kulp, Sr.: Oh, that's too bad. How about you, dear?

Annie: I would but I'm allergic.

Marva Kulp, Sr.: Yes, you just told me that over here. How'd you get over there? Well, first day at camp you'll have to excuse the old girl. (Annie walks away) At least I'm not putting salt in the sugar shakers. Well, actually sugar in the salt shakers, but...now where did she get off to?

(Get a Clue)

Jack: (to Lexy) How can someone so selfish, make me feel so guilty

Lexy: It's a gift

Gabe: So Lexy, what's your secret?

Lexy: What?

Gabe: You always get the inside story!

Lexy: (takes Gabe's camera) There is no secret, it is all about skill.

Jennifer: Get a clue! He likes you, that's why he treats you like a reject from the outlet Mall.