Sorry

Some things we can't avoid. Some things we try to avoid. Whatever happened that night, they'll never know if it was wrong. But something definitely changed between them, but was it for the better? Or the worse? KxL

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Seed.

Rated M just to be safe

Chapter 1 No Avoiding It

A hard knock on the door broke her out of her thoughts. Her breathing was fast and short, nervousness gripping her around the throat. She didn't have anymore time to think about it: Just do it. Cold sweat dripping down her neck caused her to shiver slightly in the warm room. She didn't have time for this, she couldn't think, just act.

Just do it.

Silently walking towards the door, she took in a deep, sharp breath before placing her sweating palm over the door knob. Clenching her jaw, and wincing her eyes slightly, she began to turn the knob, letting her only shield of the thick wood door fall open.

You have to.

Within moments, she could feel his hot breath on her cheek and his arm around her waist as he used his free arm to close and lock the door. No one would interrupt. Lips were pressed to hers in a bruising kiss and all she could do was lean into it. A hand came between her legs and under the simple dress she wore and stroked her thigh, gently caressing her skin. The simple act sent warning waves through her body, but she didn't care, she had no choice in this matter.

A simple tug on her dress that she was barely able to feel caused her to bite her lip and clench her hands into fists against his chest. She knew what was coming, and it made her feel sick to her stomach. But he was eager, and his lips broke from hers to nip at her ear. A silent sigh of remorse and regret left her lips and she guided his hand to her back where the zipper to her dress was. She felt a cold sensation flow over her back as he unzipped her dress, allowing it to fall from her chest. She'd worn a sleeveless dress because of this reason.

All just for him, because…

His lips returned to hers and they began to back up towards the bed. Her silent voice was screaming in her head, "You can't do this, stop it now! Before it gets too far!" But she ignored it, well, tried to. He sensed her hesitation and his hands traveled up her bare back to gently stroke her skin, and his other hand softly cradled her neck as he kissed her more deeply. Her skin was burning, and his fingers felt freezing. It should have soothed her, made her warm. But instead, it made her skin turn cold as ice where he touched her. They fell onto the bed, him on top of her, his hand on her back gently and slowly drifting over her body to her hip. Then his fingers slid the last piece of clothing off of her. She was completely exposed. "Please, I beg you, stop…" her inner voice called softly to her. She could no longer hear that voice as he quickly removed his own clothes.

"Traitor…"her body seemed to say.

There was no warning, now preparation. Before she even knew it, it was happening. All she could do was lay there and let it. She held no control over the situation. All she held now was pain. The soft touches stopped. The passionate kisses turned rough and forceful. The gentle feeling left, and was replaced by immense pain. If anything she wanted to scream, but no one would hear her. There was nothing to do but bare the pain, the guilt, and the regret.

It's almost done…

Her skin was set aflame again and every inch burned. His hold wasn't icy anymore, but felt like daggers slitting through her skin. This feeling was Hell and ten times over. If she could have made it stop, she would have, but she knew only the sun's early morning rays could grant her peace. If only it would come sooner…She winced and felt tears nearly come to her eyes and she arched her back not from pleasure but immense pain. Her body trembled and fell limply back onto the bed.

Something searing hot seemed to fill her and she broke away from his lips to scream, finally. But unknowing lips found hers again and she tried to lift her hand to push him away. But he simply found it distracting and grabbed her wrist and held it down to the bed. Her eyes opened and he immediately pulled away and leaned over her. He stared down at her, his eyes searching hers. Her crystal clear gaze faded and her eye lids slowly closed as her body became limp and rested softly on the bed. If he hadn't been holding her neck still, her head would have fallen onto the bed as well.

I told you it was almost over…

His eyes softened and he gently let go of her, the pained look on her face making him feel waves of guilt wash over him. Her breathing was in long, but hollow breaths. He found his clothes and quickly put them back on. Afterward, he lifted the blankets on the bed and covered her with them.

Retreating from her bedside and turning off the light that had dimly lit the room, he walked towards the door. Before leaving, he cast a guilty glance over his shoulder and sighed. He walked towards her vanity and took a small sheet of paper from his pocket, and stuck it between the fram and mirror of the vanity. Written on it was a note. He'd had a feeling he'd be leaving like this, and had written it ahead of time. Before he closed the door, he gave a parting glance to the girl sleeping, and closed the door.

When the sun's rays fell through the window, they shined directly into the face of a sleeping girl. Her pastel pink hair shined brightly like fine silk thread, but her pale skin had a near sickly glow. Cracking open her eyes, she winced from the bright sunlight, and groaned from the pain between her legs. Sitting up, her eyes widened as she recalled what had happened last night. Her hand flew to her forehead and she began panting, her fear snaking its fingers around her throat, and its icy fangs biting into her heart.

But then the rays of sunlight reminded her that she was safe. A sad smile crept onto her lips, but as she turned her head, she noticed something stuck in her vanity. Slipping out of her bed, she felt her body shiver deftly. She saw her image reflected in the vanity mirror, and reached for her sheet to wrap around herself.

Stumbling a bit, she made her way to the vanity and saw the object that was catching her attention. It was a folded piece of paper stuck between the mirror and the frame. She knew it had to be from him, but she didn't want to really touch it, but she knew he'd wanted her to read it. With trembling fingers, she reached out and took the paper. Opening it, her eyes widened and her breath became caught in her throat.

Without warning, a sudden pain rushed from her stomach to between her legs, and she felt as though every morsel of food she'd ever eaten was going to come back up. And it did, at least what little she'd had for dinner the other night. But after draining her stomach, she collapsed, falling to the floor as pain erupted through out her whole body. Using what little strength she had left, she gave out a terrified scream, hoping someone would hear her.

Written on the paper were three simple words that meant console her, but would never would. Written in his handwriting, he'd said: I'm Sorry Lacus. The girl shuddered and felt as though someone was choking her. With a final whisper before slipping into a painful slumber, only one word echoed in her mind. "Kira…" she choked out softly, before blackness wrapped her in its cold embrace.

I plan to try and type chapter 2 sometime tomorrow. Please bare with me on the story, it'll get better, I promise on my undying, passionate, never ending love of Kira! Hear that fangirls? He's MINE! Or Lacus's…heheheheh…Please let me know what you think!