Epilog
It was cold as the slight wind blew around the thousands of people gathered for the big event. The new millennium. Roger never wanted to come to Times Square for New Years, but he remembered, once many many years ago, Mark telling him that he would love to go, even if it was just once.
Roger watched as the ball began to drop. Tears glistened in his ears as he watched the shinning ball rotate towards the giant 2000 sign. "5…4…3…" was chanted by everyone around him. Girls were jumping up and down while clinging to their boyfriend's arm. Roger slightly smiled as the ball finally dropped and the 2000 lit up the square. Streamers, confetti, balloons and anything else were released and covered everyone in the square.
Roger watched as the happy couples shared hugs and kisses as the new millennium came in. 'when you're living in American at the end of the Millennium, you are alone.' Tears fell down Roger's face as he thought about Mark. He could picture Mark jumping around like an over hyper teenage girl before flinging his arms around Roger's neck and kissing him passionately. But that was only a dream; a dream that danced in Roger's head.
A sigh escaped Roger as he turned to walk away from the happy couples. Slowly he made his way through the many people and out of the crowd of people. The cold air finally made it too him. He remembered one of the last things that Mark told him. "When the wind blows, it's me whispering sweet nothings in your ear." Tears began to cascade down his face as he relived Mark's voice in his head. Although Mark had never said it him, he could still hear Mark's voice saying it.
Eventually he made his way to the cemetery. He stopped at the gates for a moment and looked around. The white snow from the previous day's snow fall was still clean. A few foot prints were left in the snow, but not many. He added his own foot prints into the snow before continuing up the hill to where Mark was laid to rest.
"I miss you, love." He said as he knelt down in front of the stone. The snow seeped through his jeans as he knelt in it. He cleaned the snow off of the stone and ran his hand over the letters in Mark's name. "I can't believe it's been six years already." He looked up at the sky. "I went to Times Square just for you. I know you wanted to go there, so I went for you. I can image you with me now to bring in the New Year, but sadly you're not here. Sadly it's all just a dream that swims in my mind. But, some day I will see you again. Some day I'll hold you in my arms." Roger said.
His finger followed the engraving of 1993. Six years ago the cancer had claimed his love. Six years he had lived with the pain of being alone. Six long years and that six would turn into even more. Roger was perfectly healthy. His t-cells were high and with the care and love that Maureen and Joanne still gave him, he wouldn't be joining Mark anytime soon. Sometimes he hated that concept, but then realized that Mark would hate if he just gave up, so Roger kept living.
"I love you, Mark. I always will." Roger traced M-A-R-K with his finger before standing up. The snow had soaked into his jeans, but he didn't care. Mark always loved the snow. He loved winter. His birthday was in winter.
Roger still hated the fall. The fall was when April killed herself. The fall was when Angel died. The fall was when he had run away from Mark and Mimi and life. The fall was when Mimi had finally given up on life. The fall was when Collins had slipped away to finally join Angel. The fall was when Mark had died. Roger hated fall.
"I love you" Roger said quietly before leaving Mark to rest and walking back to loft where he was greeted by Maureen fussing over him. She was always afraid of him getting sick. Joanne had recently been sick and she didn't want Roger to pass away mainly because it was close to Mark's birthday.
Over the next so many years Roger had begun to fade. Even with Maureen and Joanne trying everything to keep him alive and well, he faded. Roger was just finally giving up on life. It had been almost eleven years since Mark was taken. Roger was beyond ready to go.
It took another four years after the new millennium began before Roger was ready to rejoin with his love. Maureen was torn apart by it, but she knew he couldn't stay forever. He had already beaten all olds with living this long. Maureen had to smile though, it wasn't fall.
Roger lay in the hospital bed just waiting. He didn't have much time left, but just enough to talk to the two people who kept him alive these past ten almost eleven years.
Maureen sat on the bed and held his hand. Roger, weak as he was, looked up at Maureen and Joanne with tired olive green eyes. Eyes that had seen too much in the past. "You know, I always pictured Mark here at my end, but I'm glad he's not. It would only mean that he would be alone. I'm just glad that I'm not alone" Roger said. Maureen held tighter to his hand as Joanne wrapped her arms around Maureen's waist and rested her head on top of Maureen's.
"We could never leave you alone, Roger. Mark would hate us forever if we did." Maureen said. Roger looked up at the ceiling before sighing. A tear fell down his face as he spoke.
"Years ago I had wanted this time to come. Years ago I had wanted to die. I wanted everything to end because of what April did. I wanted to die, but I was scared of it. Mark kept me alive and was there for me, but still I feared death. I look back on that now and I realize how much Mark did for me. He kept me alive through it all, and in the end I still failed him. I couldn't save him."
"It wasn't your fault, Rog. He couldn't stop it anymore than you could." Joanne said.
"I know that. I still wish he would have tired."
"He told you why he didn't and you should be happy for that time you had with him." Maureen said as she held his hand tight.
"I know. I am so grateful for the time I got to share with him." He looked back at the two girls by his bed. "Years ago I feared death, but now I welcome it with open arms. I don't fear death anymore because, I know once it takes me I will see my Mark again." Roger said. Tears fell down Maureen's face as she listened to Roger begin to fade.
"And you will see him soon." Joanne said. She reached down and rubbed Roger hand. "You'll be in his arms again soon." She said. Roger slowly nodded his head before drifting off to sleep. Maureen and Joanne watched, with tears in their eyes, as Roger slipped into a peaceful sleep.
Before long Roger slipped from the world with a smile on his face. He was no longer scared of what awaited him when he died. He knew what awaited him. It awaited him with open arms and a heart full of love…and for that, he was happy.
Author's Note: That's it. That's the end. I never wanted it to take this long to finish the story, but it just took ages to find time to write, edit, and update while in school.
Eventually I will put up more stories, but I think I am going to stick to one shots, or at least write the whole story before starting to post. Who knows.
Thanks to everyone who has been reading and staying with me. Sorry it took ages to finish, but I finally did. Thanks again!
By The Way: I'm thinking about writting a one-shot mini story to this. I always wanted to put in Maureen's reaction to visiting the cemetery, but I couldn't fit it the epilog without it ruining the happiness of Roger's passing. I do plan on writting that and updating it here soon, I hope.
I also plan on changing my author name there soon as well.
Again, thanks for everyone who stuck by this story regardless of how long it took me to update. (I blame college). I loved your reviews and the fact that you kept reading. Thanks!