A/N: Hello, Hello again I'm back… But… for the last time… I understand that there are some issues with underlining in chapter 10 and I'm doing my best to fix them, however it's not working very well… --" So yeah… I will keep trying though… I would also like to inform you that this is the last chapter of Kings Queens and Corsets… But I'll discuss this more at the very end. So without further ado: The Finale
Of Kings, Queens, and Corsets
"No body move." King Frenit demanded. "For I am about to-"
Elrohir pried his face from the cake too. "We know already… your hand maidens told us…"
"They did… well drat the luck I was so looking forward to giving my evil speech… ah well… I'll simply have to kill the elf in front of you all instead…I bet that you didn't know that I knew that!"
"Nope… we did."
"Drat it! That is SO like you blasted elves… no wonder Githil… my wife not that one…"He gestured to where Legolas, who didn't seem to realize that there was a crossbow pointed at him, was trying to get the feeling back in his tongue. "Did not want to stay here… our land is right by Mirkwood and those blasted elves are always parading about like they own the place…"
"We 'oo own 'a pwace… I wouwd no… 'M a Miwwood pwinthe…"
"Really… well that makes killing you extra fun…" And with that he pulled the trigger.
The arrow flew true… sort of… you see right before the trigger was pulled, Glorifindel who realized that he had been over looked during this little thing decided not to take it anymore. So, he jumped on Frenit and brought him down jostling the arrow oh so slightly… however this oh so slightly was just enough to avert the arrow so it landed barley above the wood elf's heart, knocking him backward into Elladan and Elrohir and tipping the table over.
"Legolas!" Aragorn yelled, running past the Balrog slayer who had sufficiently wrestled the king and was sitting on top of him, pinning him down. The Ranger made it to his unconscious friend and lifted his head up out of the goo.
Frenit laughed the best he could with Glorifindel on top of him. "It's too bad… the stone in the arrow tip would be enough to counteract the poison from the chocolates… to bad he's dead…"
Elladan pulled himself up from the chocolate… or what looked like Elladan… then again it could have been an overly frosted giant cupcake.
"He is not dead! I think that he's just unconscious…" A light moan from the wood elf proved his point. "Yup! He's not dead!"
Leoglas' eyes fluttered open. "E-estel?"
"Shh… You're okay… I'll make sure nothing happens to you…"
"Estel… I'm fine… but… you're pulling my hair…"
"Oh… sorry…"
"My head hurts…" He turned his head to the side and saw the arrow protruding from his chest. "Well, that is new. When did that happen?"
"Just a few minutes ago… doesn't it hurt?"
"Not as much as normal…" He sat up. "Be a dear and pull it out for me."
"Erm… sure…" the ranger did as he was told and with a sickening CRACK it came out. Along with a good chunk of fabric, padding, and corset. Upon further examination the Ranger realized the arrow head had just barely gone in enough to cure the elf of his insanity, however due do the immense padding in it's way it hadn't done much damage and Legolas' Elven healing was already patching up the hole in his chest.
However, before they could celebrate a series of arrows whizzed by his head falling harmless to the cobblestones. Aragorn got up and helped Legolas to his feet so they could stand by the twins. Glorifindel was still on Frenit, however there were six handmaidens standing around him reloading crossbows.
Everyone was still, except Lord Elrond who carefully made his way over to his sons and Legolas before bending down and picking up a chunk of ice covered in cake. Then, with all his skill that he'd acquired over the years threw it above the handmaidens where it made contact with a hanging lantern before smashing into several pieces each clunking the girls on the head and knocking them out.
"Ada…"
"Yes, Elladan?"
"I love you."
"Of course you do."
However, Lord Elrond made a slight miscalculation for one of the ice chunks also struck Glorifindel squarely in the head, knocking the Balrog Slayer out. Frenit easily pushed his way out from under the Elf and to a loaded crossbow.
Now, pointing it at Lord Elrond he began another little speech. "Now there's no one left to stop me… if they do you're lord gets it… Bwahahahahahhahha-" He stopped abruptly and fell forward, an arrow protruding from his back.
"I've wanted to do that for a long time." Queen Githil smiled, standing behind her dead husband. "So sorry about the mess Lord Elrond… my guard should be here soon I'll have them clean it up before we leave…"
No one said a word even Lord Elrond looked utterly confused.
Finally Legolas spoke up voicing everyone's feelings quiet eloquently.
"Huh?"
"Oh, Legolas, dear I'm so sorry about all that you have been put through however it was most helpful… you see I have known that my husband was trying to kill me for a very long time and until now I never had any chance to act on it. I really do love elves really… and your father is an excellent king always helping us out when we need it…"
"But my father never mentioned…"
"Oh most of the trade had to be kept secret… you see Frenit has been trying to over throw me for years. I do all the work… he flirts with the court dancers and servants and whatnot… and it's hard managing a country by yourself… well after a while Frenit caught on that he didn't have power… and he's been trying to kill me ever since…"
"You know that seems like a pretty flimsy excuse for this whole plot." Elrohir brushed himself off. "The Valar have a really sick sense of humor…"
Lord Elrond groaned and massaged his temple. "I call the ball officially cancelled… everyone back to you're homes…"
And with that a very annoyed and confused court of Elrond left.
Several hours later when everyone had been cleaned up and Githil made her apologies to the twins for running from them, and she had left with the body of Frenit and the handmaidens to go back to the Gladden Fields, Aragorn and Legolas found themselves sitting together outside watching as several Elves cleaned away the remnants of the cake.
"Well that was interesting…"
"Legolas, I do not think interesting was the right word for it… it was more like… torture…"
"Why do these things only happen to us?"
"Because we are unlucky?"
"We are beyond unlucky… we are downright cursed…"
….
"Hey Legolas…"
"Yes Estel?"
"Have you ever gotten the feeling that we're just some pawns to a higher power that controls are thoughts feeling and emotions for their own amusement and the amusement of countless others?"
"Oh do not be ridiculous…"
…
"Then again…. Nah…"
…
"You know, Legolas… You look pretty cute in a corset…"
"I am sorry Estel but I do not swing that way… at least not for you."
The Ranger laughed.
"I deserved that."
"Yes you did…"
"By the way… how's the baby doing…"
"Alright I deserved that to…"
"When are you due?"
"Shut up, Estel…"
"Can I feel it kick…"
"No but you can feel me do it…"
"Aww so touchy… must be the hormones…"
THWACK
"Ow… geez I take it back… you aren't cute in a corset…"
"Estel…"
"Yes Legolas?"
"If I ever hear you say the word corset again I swear to the Valar that I will tell Arwen that you said you were dating me."
"Yes. Legolas."
And the two of them laughed, happy, carefree, and safe from dresses.
And there you have it. This story has come to a close… but fear not good reader for I shall be back with more crazy adventures. Thank you all so much for being so wonderful and helping me get this done… I hope that whenever you hear someone claim that their an inch worm you'll think of this story… and whenever you're mother/father/guardian/yourself gives you a birthday cake… I hope two hot elves use it for a landing cushion. Thank you so much to everyone but especially the following people.
KayCee
G.A. Clive
Psalms 136
And Last but CERTAINLY not least
Princess SammO
Without you guys I highly doubt this story would have been finished. Thanks!
Once again thank you all… sniffle…
Love and Huggles
Fiery Mango