Title: Shadow Games
Author: desolate butterfly
Genre:
crack crackity crack, also pretty gen actually
Pairings:
Shikamaru/Kisame.
Rating: PG because Kisame has potty mouth.
"This is stupid," Kisame remarks for the fifth time in the space of a minute.
"Shut up."
Shikamaru is well past "annoyed" and into "unreasonably pissed". Plus, his arms are beginning to get tired from holding the kagemane no jutsu in such a position and the sweat is beginning to roll into his eyes. He is beginning to regret that he had ever run into the Akatsuki member on his walk.
Even Tayuya hadn't been half so annoying when he'd captured her shadow.
Kisame sighs and rolls his eyes. Shikamaru gets the feeling that if he could, he'd be shaking his head. Or shaving his head off with the broadsword lying in the grass at his feet.
"I'm just saying," the blue-skinned man continues, "that of all the positions you could force me into with this little technique of yours, making me put me hands on my head is kind of lame."
Shikamaru grits his teeth. "Oh?" he hisses, "And what would you prefer, something like this maybe?"
Shikamaru tucks his arms up and flaps his elbows like a chicken and Kisame follows suit.
"Better?"
"Sure, if your goal is to make us both look ridiculous."
More sweat trickles down Shikamaru's chest and slides past his waistband, collecting in a most uncomfortable place. Absently, Shikamaru moves his hand to scratch at his balls.
A choked gasp from his captive snaps him back to attention.
"Fuck kid," Kisame exclaims, with a bit of admiration in his tone. "Guess you're done screwing around with the clown positions. Are all you leaf nins such perverts? I thought Itachi was an exception or something..."
"Huh?" Shikamaru looks at Kisame blankly for a few seconds. Then he sees what Kisame's hand is grasping and his eyes widen.
Both their hands fly up in a panicked gesture, but Kisame's predatory smirk does not move from his face.
"But...I...that's not--" Shikamaru sputters, trying to stop the blush threatening to bloom across his cheeks. "I HAD AN ITCH, OKAY?"
"Sure you did." Smirk.
Shikamaru's eyes narrow and he puts his hands on his hips. Kisame does the same.
"Whatever. My backup will be arriving soon, and then you can make your stupid remarks with a kunai sticking out of your chest."
"Sounds like fun, kid but..." Shikamaru blinks and Kisame is suddenly behind him, a hand fisted in Shikamaru's hair, the other grasping his wrist and twisting it back until it snaps with a neat, crisp sound.
Shikamaru blanches in pain.
"...I'm going to have to take a pass. Places to be, people to kill. But it's been a real experience."
"Unh," Shikamaru gasps as his hand is released to fall limply at his side.
"Something to remember for next time, Precious," Kisame whispers in his ear as he hefts his weapon over his shoulder, "that shadow jutsu doesn't work on me."
When ANBU finds Shikamaru a few seconds later, he is sitting on the grass, silent and pale and wiping sweat from the back of his neck with his hitate-ate.
He doesn't speak while Ino wraps his wrist in a sling. He has no idea what to say.
Fin.
Any commentary is appreciated.