Author: desbutterfly
Genre: crack, drabble, humour
Pairing: Cupcake/Sasuke, Kabuto/Oro?
Rating: PG
Summary: Little did Kabuto know what he was bringing to life that fateful day in Sound.
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Kabuto took an eye dropper and carefully added a few drops of the special mixture to the white-frosted, chocolate cupcake. The candy bits sizzled when the liquid hit them, but that was it as far as a reaction went.
Kabuto sighed and pushed his glasses back up on his nose. The secret documents on food pills stolen from the Akimichi were only partially readable, and obviously he wasn't doing as good at filling in the blanks as he thought. Orochimaru had wanted him to create a food pill for Sasuke which would allow him to use his curse seal without it having adverse affects on his body.
So far, Kabuto's experiments hadn't done anything except fill the boy out a bit in the middle (which was an accomplishment, for Sasuke-sama was almost unhealthily thin for his age) and waste most of Sound's budget on different food items.
The cupcake was a last resort.
"Well? Did it work?"
Kabuto turned to see Sasuke lounging in the doorway, arms crossed over his chest, a blank look on his face. His eyes were straying to the cupcake though, and Kabuto thought he detected a hint of hunger in that gaze.
"I don't think so," Kabuto said. "The documents say that the right food item, when mixed with the compound, will condense into a powder that can be placed into a special pill. Ask you can see, the cupcake obviously wasn't the right food item."
"Obviously."
Kabuto hid a smirk with his hand as he abandoned his chair and set the eye dropper back in his kit.
"I'll dispose of the experiment later," he said, heading for the door. "Right now, I think Orochimaru has requested my company."
'If he's stupid enough to eat something that might poison him, then he obviously isn't worthy of becoming Orochimaru-sama's container in the first place,' Kabuto thought as he left Sasuke in the room and walked down the hallway, whistling a jaunty tune.
Back in the lab, Sasuke was still eyeing the cupcake.
It didn't look like a horrific lab experiment. It looked like a cupcake. A delicious, rich, sweet, tasty cupcake. A cupcake that Sasuke wanted to lick the frosting off of in long, slow swipes of his tongue, and then bite into the soft, dark cake with his teeth. He'd skipped breakfast for training and he was a growing boy.
Sasuke poked the frosting hesitantly with a finger, and shivered as the candy bits scraped against his skin. It looked like a normal cupcake. It probably tasted like one too. And who knows? Kabuto's experiment might have worked in the end. It might be a chakra-enhancing, body-saving, normal-tasting cupcake.
Sasuke decided it was worth a try.
He picked up the cupcake by the wrapper and held it delicately between his finger before extending his tongue…
…and found himself on his knees, arms twisted up behind his head, his torso forced forward until his hair was brushing the floor. Candy bits scra-a-ped against his wrists and something sticky and sweet-smelling trailed across the back of his neck over the seal.
Sasuke froze.
"Oh no bitch," a voice crooned. "I'll be the one to eat you."
That was when Sasuke realized that he was in a lot of trouble.
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fin
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