Summary: I don't know exactly how Half Blood Prince ends (because I haven't reached the end yet) and no one really knows what the seventh book will be, but I'm assuming that there is a war coming and I'm assuming that Snape is a double agent, really working for the Order of the Phoenix (the good guys) but pretending to be a loyal Death Eater (the bad guys).

A/N: This is rated R for discussion of torture and rape, and there is sex with my favorite pairing, Harry & Hermione. Slightly AU. Also, this has not been beta'd, so please be gentle. Reviews are always welcome.

A/N2: This has been updated with a suggestion from my wonderful beta reader Particle Accelerator.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, but the storyline.

Lost & Found

After a year of looking, of combing muggle telephone directories, of searching the faces on the street in Diagon Alley, of interrogating his friends and family, and performing more than one memory altering charm on unsuspecting Muggles, here he was. Number 12 Wilde Lane in a village so tiny it didn't even have a proper name, and so far north that he was almost in Scotland.

There was a heavy mist in the air and as he lifted his hand to knock, Harry Potter almost turned around and left. She had after all disappeared from the wizarding world over a year ago, soon after Snape had rescued her and the War had finally been won. Hermione Granger had deserted everything she knew and everyone she loved to come here, to this cheerless place in the middle of nowhere.

The air was cool on his face and he tightened his scarf thinking of the chilly reception he was likely to meet inside. He wondered how she could stand this climate – so cold and dark all the time. It was the height of summer, his birthday was coming, and yet it had to be only fifty degrees.

There was movement inside the darkened little house and Harry inclined his head, listening for footsteps. He knocked again, louder this time and he heard the squeak of someone opening the peephole and then closing it again very quickly. There was silence and he finally called out, "Hermione? Are you in there?"

The door finally swung open and he was face to face with his former best friend. She was pale and bushy-haired as always, but her face was wary, her chocolate brown eyes distrustful. "What are you doing here?" she asked, even as she fought the urge to jump into his arms and weep at the mere sight of him.

Her voice sounded stretched to Harry, as if it were so taught it might break with continued use. "What am I doing here?" he repeated. "I've come to see you. Can I come in?"

She glanced behind him, as if to make sure he was alone, and then nodded, opening the door wider for him to enter. He passed over the threshold and into the small, cozy little room that served as her sitting room. There was a fire in the grate that crackled and an overstuffed chair pushed close to it with a book left abandoned on it. Harry could see that he had interrupted a quiet evening of reading. Same old Hermione, he thought with a flicker of a smile.

Hermione closed the front door quietly behind him and he turned to see that she had crossed her arms protectively over herself and was staring at the floor near his feet. "Would you like something to drink?" she asked.

"Whatever you're having," he replied, spying a glass of red wine on the little table near her chair by the fire. He followed her into the kitchen where she silently got down another glass and poured him something from a bottle she kept on top of the refrigerator.

She led him back into the warm little sitting room and she gestured to a second chair that he had missed in his first, cursory glance around the little room. It was smaller than the one she clearly favored, but it was close to the fire and he settled gratefully into it staring at her.

For the next few minutes the silence was broken only by the crackling and snapping of the fire. Harry hoped that she would just start talking without him having to ask. His patience was wearing thin. It had been more than a year since she'd disappeared and after searching high and low this was not the reception he'd hoped for.

Hermione was torn. She still wanted to fly at him and hug him and tell him that he was a sight for sore eyes, but she held back. This was her world now and he had undoubtedly come to talk her into returning with him, and that was an impossibility.

Finally, she gave in and asked again, "What are you doing here?"

"Can't an old friend pay a call?" he replied. Then, suddenly, hating the charade they were playing, he said, "I've come to find out what happened to you."

"Nothing happened to me," she said simply.

"You are the cleverest witch of your age in case you forgot and you're holed up here in some no-name muggle village living like I don't know what. What happened?"

Hermione stared at him. She had not expected this. She'd expected them to miss her, perhaps mourn her, maybe try to find her, but not actually succeed in tracking her down. "How is everyone?" she asked, her curiosity getting the better of her.

"Everyone is fine. They all want you back. Now that the War is ended especially. No one could believe it when you disappeared, right out from under our noses. Snape had just returned with you and you were in such a state and then, just when you were starting to make improvements, you vanished." Harry had been looking into the fireplace or he would have seen her stiffen at the name of their old Potions Master.

"I had to," she said softly. "It was the only way. I couldn't live there anymore, I just couldn't. I had to get away and stay away."

"No you didn't," Harry scoffed. "You just think you did."

"You don't know anything," she told him, her voice still even.

Harry was silent again for a moment and then asked, "Why won't you tell me? It must have something to do with Voldemort capturing you, right? Listen, no matter what happened, it doesn't change the fact that you're still our Hermione. It doesn't change the fact that we miss you. You should come home and get well with us."

Hermione looking at him full in the face and caught something in those perfect green eyes of his. She wanted so badly to fall into them and hold on to him. Trust him. But instead she shook her head and frowned. "Too much has happened."

"Snape said you'd say that." This time he was looking at her and saw her shiver. "He's the only one who was against my coming to you once I'd discovered where you were."

"You should have listened to him," she told him quietly, her eyes dropping to her hands loose in her lap. Then, "Does anyone else know where I am?"

"Listened to Snape!" Harry exclaimed. "Who are you and what have you done with my best friend? And no, I left in a hurry when I finally figured it out, only Ron and Luna know I've even left, but I didn't have a chance to tell them anything."

Hermione gave him a little smile, acknowledging the title she no longer felt worthy to carry. "Please, Hermione. Please just tell me what happened."

"Does the Order still meet?" she asked changing the subject.

"Periodically," he said, letting out a sigh.

"And have you ever asked Snape this question?"

Harry stared at her. "Snape has never been forthcoming with information. We all tried to get him to tell us what happened when you were being held and he was pretending to be a Death Eater. But he would never say."

Hermione nodded and looked away again, into the fire. The ache in her chest, the one she'd been pushing down for so long, crept to the surface and spread out. She squeezed her eyes shut.

"No matter what it is, you'll always be our Hermione. There's nothing so horrible that we would prefer you away from us."

"I appreciate that," she answered. "But this isn't about what you would prefer. It's about me and what I want, and what I want is to be left alone."

"But," he argued, "I don't understand. Whatever happened, we can help you deal with it."

"I have no interest in sharing this with anyone. I don't want your or anyone else's pity and I don't want the prying eyes and gossips of the wizarding world speculating on anything. I just want to fade away."

"Well that's too bad," Harry said fiercely. "We love you too much to let that happen. Do you know Luna had to physically hold Ron down to keep him from coming with me?"

"They're still together?" Hermione asked with a smile.

"And expecting their second in about seven month's time."

"I'm happy for them," she said. "Please tell them I say congratulations."

"Why don't you tell them yourself?"

"No," she answered stiffly, her smile now gone.

"Why don't you tell me, just me, what happened."

Hermione looked at him and shivered again. His beautiful green eyes glittered in the firelight. Dark had long since taken hold of the room and the fire provided the only light. The chairs were so close that their feet resting on the floor could have touched.

"If I tell you, will you promise never to reveal it to anyone and to leave here and never come back?"

Harry hesitated, then surreptitiously crossed his toes and agreed.

"I mean it, Harry. This is something that the wizarding world is not going to take well and I would just as soon keep it from them for the rest of my life.

"I promise," he repeated, this time meaning it a little more.

Hermione took a large sip of wine and stood up facing the fire, her arms crossed over her chest again. She began slowly, tentatively, "You remember when I was captured? When it actually happened?"

Harry nodded silently. He didn't want to do or say anything that might make her change her mind. From his seat in the other chair, he watched her stand, rigid, before the fire, hair glinting in the changing light.

"Snape caught hold of me that day and would have secretly released me, I think, if it hadn't been for all the other Death Eaters present. He had no choice but to take me back to their fortress and present me to Voldemort as a captive. Of course, they knew who I was. Lucious and Draco Malfoy were both there to educate them if need be, but they knew I was close to you and a mudblood, to boot.

"As a reward, Voldemort offered me to Snape as a prize, a pet. At first he refused but it was clear that Malfoy would have been next in line to receive the spoils of war, so Snape finally accepted me, before them all, as his just reward."

Harry looked appalled but remained quiet. His mind was racing back to all the conversations he'd had with Snape, trying to get him to explain what had happened to them.

"It all seems so fuzzy and yet so clear at the same time," Hermione murmured. She was staring into the flames now, taken away by the memory. "Snape took a handful of my hair and would have dragged me away somewhere but Voldemort wanted to enjoy the spectacle. He wanted Snape to prove once again that he was on their side. I think Voldemort never truly trusted him. It wasn't until that moment that I really understood what was going to happen."

Harry's eyes were wide with horror as Hermione said calmly and slowly, "Snape…forced me…there…in front of everyone".

Harry stood. "I'll kill him," his said, his voice thick with hatred.

"Don't be ridiculous, Harry," she replied, staring at him. "If Snape had refused me it would have been another of the Death Eaters. Perhaps the Malfoys taking turns. Or, even worse, Voldemort would have tortured and killed us both on the spot. It wasn't… pleasant, but it was better than death."

Harry sat down again, stunned. He thought perhaps she was the strongest person he'd ever known. "I'm so sorry," was all he could say.

"Don't be sorry. And don't ever feel guilty. I think it was more because I was muggle-born that a friend of yours. To those people mudbloods were less than human. Dogs to be used and disposed of when their use was over."

"Still," he said, staring up at her still frame. "You've been through too much."

She smiled a sardonic little smile and whispered, "I've only just begun, Harry."

His face paled a little but he swallowed and nodded that she should continue. "Bellatrix LaStrange was there and eager to snatch me away from Snape to provide some carnal entertainment for her little Draco. The rules, or what amounted to rules, dictated that Snape had to 'mark' me has his property at least daily or she would complain to Voldemort that I wasn't being punished enough for being a mudblood. During the day she would torture me and during the night Snape would…" but she didn't finish the sentence. Her voice had broken and her throat tightened. She was putting on a brave face but inside she was reliving it again.

Harry swallowed hard and covered his eyes with a hand but a picture had already sprung to mind. Snape's pale body crushing poor Hermione night after night, his greasy hair falling into her eyes. It was almost too much to bear. Her voice broke into his thoughts as she continued the story.

"Anyway, I don't really remember exactly how it happened but there were a few weeks when the battles were extremely heated and I didn't have a wand so it was up to Snape to perform the…contraceptive charms. I guess he forgot a time or two because after three months or so…well…"

Harry lifted his eyes to her as a fresh wave of revulsion washed over him. "Snape's…child?"

Roughly scrubbing a hand over her cheeks, Hermione let out a strangled sob. Harry stood again and pulled her into a tight hug, smoothing her curls with one hand, rubbing her back with the other. "I'm so sorry," he repeated hoarsely, feeling utterly helpless.

Winding her arms around his waist, Hermione gave in to the pain in her chest that she'd been pushing down for so many months, running away from. She squeezed him back and got control of her breathing, needing to finish the story.

"I don't know how it happened. I don't know if Voldemort guessed or if he read my mind, but he knew. He figured it out. And he punished us. With a flick of his wand I began to bleed. There was no one to help me but Snape, and he couldn't appear to be helping too much. Oh, God, Harry, there was so much blood. I thought I was finally going to die. I prayed for it," she told him miserably

Harry held her tighter and fantasized about murdering Snape slowly, skinning him alive and then removing one appendage at a time, starting with fingers. Hermione pulled her face back from his chest and said, "I think it was the final straw for Snape. Voldemort had killed his child, had called it an 'abomination'. The War be damned. Snape had finally had enough pretending and that night, in the state I was in, we escaped. Don't ask me how because I was delirious from the blood loss. I only remember being very cold, and then waking up at Grimmauld Place."

He brushed away more tears with his fingers and pressed his hand to her cheek. "You are the most amazing woman I've ever known, Hermione Granger. I can't even imagine…you…" Harry trailed off, feeling overwhelmed by the emotion. She had been raped, repeatedly, become pregnant, and had the child murdered within her. No wonder she'd left them all. This was more than just licking her wounds; this was about repairing herself body and soul.

Hermione shook her head and touched a hand to his still pressed to her wet cheek. "Don't, Harry. There are those who've survived much worse. But I just…I can't go back. I can't face the wizarding world and the questions. And I don't want to see Snape again. We've both lost too much."

With a soft nod, Harry said, "I understand. And I'll keep my promise. But…you know Hermione, you don't have to do this alone. You don't have to be alone. Let me come and stay with you. Or Luna if you don't want me…"

She sniffled and pulled away from Harry. "I don't want anyone, especially Luna." The words had tumbled out before she could stop them. She walked back to her chair but didn't sit down. "I…I've been to a healer, Harry. More than one. Voldemort took more than just the child, he took my ability to have any other children." Harry stared at her, not entirely comprehending this.

"You mean you're…"

"Unable to conceive," she told him flatly. "Ever."

It was too much, Harry thought. Too much to have happen to one person.

xoxox

Later on, Hermione fixed them both a light supper and offered to let Harry stay the night. She had only one bed and no couch, so they decided to share. Hermione felt that after her story, Harry could not possibly want anything romantic or sexual from her, and Harry felt that after what had happened to her, she couldn't possibly want anything from him.

They lay in bed together, listening to the wind in the trees outside and it occurred to Harry to ask a question. "Hermione?"

"Hmm?" she replied from her side of the dark bed.

"How did you find this place?"

She rolled over so that she faced him and smiled, "My parents brought me here on vacation one summer when I was small. My father's a historian and apparently, some epic battle took place on the outskirts of this town between the Saxons and the Vikings. It was far enough away and yet close enough to where I wanted to be that it worked."

"And what have you been doing for money?"

"I work in the village book shop."

"A muggle book shop?"

"Yes."

"Amazing."

She smiled. Hermione could see his eyes in the dark and they were focused on her. Harry turned on his side, too, to face her.

"Can I tell you something?" he asked, tentatively.

"You can tell me anything," she replied quietly, looking at him intently.

"When you disappeared," he began, "I…I couldn't believe it. Wouldn't believe it. It felt like we'd been through hell on earth fighting Voldemort and the Death Eaters and now that it was over, you weren't there to share it with. I missed you. More than you can know."

Hermione glanced away, hating the look in his eyes. "I missed you, too, Harry."

In the dark and silence, Harry lifted a hand and stroked her cheek again. "I don't want you to feel sorry for me, Harry. He did what he had to do for us to survive, to live."

"I know, but I can still hate him."

"I don't hate him. It was his child that was killed, too. He is not someone who will easily conceive another."

Harry thought about this. Snape was not someone he could picture falling in love and starting a family.

"I don't care," he said softly, stubbornly. "I want to hate him."

Hermione lifted a hand to meet his on her cheek and she stroked the long fingers she found there. "That's why I won't go back. There's no way to keep this from people and he doesn't deserve the villainy of it. He took my virginity. Stole it. But I can't hate him. I can't hate someone who was as much of a victim as I was."

"A victim," Harry exclaimed.

"Think about the alternative, Harry. He could have passed me off to the Malfoys who would have been much worse. He could have confessed to Voldemort and we would have been killed on the spot. I think that time must haunt him."

Harry thought about what he knew of Snape. How reserved he'd become. How withdrawn and quiet, even more than normal. The man had looked positively hunted since they'd been back.

"Maybe you're right," Harry conceded, stroking her face gently. "I still wish you'd change your mind and come back with me."

"Harry, I would do almost anything in the world for you, but I can't do that."

xoxox

The next morning, Harry gradually drifted awake long before the sun rose. He was on his side and Hermione's back was pressed against his, one of his arms was thrown over her small waist and his fingers had been caught between her legs so that her soft thighs were holding them prisoner. Her light t-shirt had ridden up in the night so that it was bunched around her waist and the white cotton panties were thin and worn from use. The shirt he'd borrowed from her and his boxer shorts were unable to hide the fact that his body was responding, involuntarily, to hers pressed so close and warm up against him.

Before he could try to extricate himself, Hermione wiggled her bottom against him and moved her feet in the way that sleeping people do who are about to wake up. Harry was mortified. After everything she'd been through with Snape, he was practically coming on to her in the most inappropriate way. Again he tried to move his arm and roll away but this time her voice stopped him.

"Harry." It was a voice still thick with sleep. She lifted a hand and began to rub the arm that was trapped by her thighs. Harry thought he would die from the embarrassment. His body throbbed painfully at her wriggling and he shut his eyes for a moment before opening them again to say, "Good morning."

"Can I tell you something?" she had ignored his greeting and was using his words from the night before.

"You can tell me anything," he replied.

She continued to rub his arm, tickling the light hair she found there and she moved her bottom again. Harry stared at the back of her head praying for her to stop before he had an accident.

"Before it all happened," she began, her voice so small it was almost lost in the darkened room. "Before the war and my capture, before any of it, when we were all back at school, I used to wonder and worry about that it would be like, my first time." Again Harry involuntarily tightened his arm about her waist and pressed a quick kiss to the back of her head. "I never imagined that it would be like it was and I sort of feel like though I am not technically a virgin anymore, I've never really experienced sex as a good thing." Harry snaked his other arm, the arm he'd been laying on top of, up to her shoulder and squeezed. How he wished he'd been able to protect her from it all.

"Anyway," she continued, "when I used to think about what that first time would be like, I often thought about whom it would be with." At this, Hermione gave his arm a light squeeze before continuing with her rubbing. Harry swallowed. "Because we were so close and because I always trusted you, your name was always at the top of the list." Harry swallowed again, hard, and took a deep breath. His body was about to explode right there between them. He didn't know what to say, but he opened his mouth hoping that the right words would come to him. Luckily, she saved him by continuing, "I can understand if you don't want to, but in order to live a normal or even semi-normal life I would like to experience it. I want to, if not make love with someone, then have sex that isn't forced, or an act of war."

This time, Harry found his voice quickly. "What are you asking?"

She wiggled her bottom against his groin again and he closed his eyes. "I'm asking if you'll do me the honor of being my first consensual sexual experience."

"You make it sound like a lab experiment," he half-joked, hoping to buy some time.

"If you're saying no, just say it. I'm not embarrassed or ashamed of what's happened to me. But if you can't handle it, just say so." Her voice had turned cold and her feet pulled away from his under the covers.

"No," he said sharply, lifting a leg and dragging her feet back to his. He left his leg on top of hers for good measure.

"It's not that I'm embarrassed or ashamed. I just don't want to ruin our friendship."

"It's been over a year since we've seen each other," she reminded him reasonably, "and you promised never to come back and not to tell anyone where I am." His words flooded back to him. "I just want this one time before we part ways." She'd begun rubbing his arm again. "That's all."

Harry was silent again finally realizing what she was asking. After finding her again could he really make love to her and then leave? Never see her again, ever?

Hermione meanwhile had used up most of her courage. Dawn was breaking outside and her dark room would soon be filled with the light of day. She knew how hard it was to deal with things in the light of day. Harry was still silent behind her. She could feel him hard and ready and she cursed herself. Me and my bright ideas. It was too much for him, she could see that now. It had been a mistake to ask. Slowly, she began to pull away. She needed to put some distance between herself and his rejection. To her surprise, though, he pulled her back to him and rolled her so that she lay on her back and he on his side. His dark hair was messy as always but his green eyes were filled with something new. Something she'd thought she'd seen last night. She laid there, arms at her sides, waiting.

Harry was propped on one elbow staring down at her. He let his other hand drop lightly onto her stomach, just to gauge her reaction and the overall situation. When she'd started pulling away he'd suddenly seen the two choices very clearly: either grant her wish and then never see her again, or get up and leave and never see her again. The 'never see her again' part was the deciding factor. His fingers lightly brushed the skin of her flat stomach where her t-shirt had ridden up. The thin white cotton panties showed him an outline of the dark curls beneath and he swallowed hard again.

"If this is really what you want," he told her softly, "then my answer is yes. You will always be my best friend, though, and I can't promise that I'll never come back." At her look of indignation, he lifted the hand from her stomach and said, "I know I promised, and I'll keep the promise about not telling anyone where you are, but Hermione I need you. I need you in my life and your desire to live like a hermit doesn't change that. So, I'll make you a deal: I'll agree to be your 'first consensual sexual experience'," he smiled a little at her clinical phrasing, "if you'll agree that I can come and visit you from time to time."

Hermione's dark eyes narrowed as she looked up into his green ones and thought about his proposal. "You won't tell anyone?"

"Not if you don't want me to," he said dropping his hand back onto her stomach.

She licked her lips, thinking, and Harry's mouth opened as he watched her tongue. Never in his wildest dreams would he have expected this. He'd wanted her for as long as he could remember. Certainly he had had girlfriends and she boyfriends, but in the back of his mind he'd always hoped that they'd end up together, somehow.

"All right," she said finally, lifting her arms and dropping one hand on top of his on her stomach and putting the other against his chest. Harry moved closer and shifted off his elbow so that their bodies were very close. Slowly, carefully, he brushed his lips against hers and her sharp intake of breath nearly was his undoing. Under his hand, her stomach began to move with her rapid breathing. His emerald green eyes still boring into her dark chocolate ones, he did it again, only this time he let his mouth linger, tasting her slowly, exploring her soft lips.

Hermione felt a stab of panic, but she calmed her racing heart and reminded herself that this was Harry. Harry would stop if she asked him too and because of that, she was determined not to ask him. She let her hands wander up one of his arms to a broad shoulder. He felt so solid under her fingers, so strong and unstoppable. Snape had felt…no, she wouldn't do that. There would be no comparison. This was an act of love between friends.

Her thoughts were broken when she felt Harry's mouth open and his tongue sweep over her bottom lip. Her heart gave an unexpected leap and when she opened her mouth to give a soft moan, Harry took advantage. His fingers were now tangled in her dark curls and her soft little moans were driving him wild. He wanted her so badly, had wanted her for so long.

Carefully, he settled himself between her legs. They were both still wearing their underwear and t-shirts, he just wanted her to get the feel of it before moving forward. To his utter astonishment, she pressed her hips against his and he had to break the kiss they'd been sharing in order to let loose a guttural moan.

Hermione took this to mean that she had done something wrong and she pulled back slightly. "Is everything all right?" she asked tentatively.

"Everything except how difficult it is to do this slowly," he told her wryly.

She blinked at him, at first not understanding, but then she smiled shyly and said, "Take off your shirt."

He quickly obliged, sitting up to doff the shirt and toss it over his shoulder. Hermione laughed lightly and reached up to kiss him again. His warm skin felt smooth under her touch. She had the urge to touch him all over; she couldn't get enough. As he brought his mouth back down to hers she ran her hands up and down his back going lower and lower each time until she was lightly cupping his bottom on each pass.

Harry had settled himself between her legs again and his weight felt good, right. His hands traveled under her t-shirt to stroke the silky skin of her belly. He had the fleeting thought that he should perform a contraception charm but then realized there wasn't any point. Voldemort had robbed her of the ability to have children. He felt a sharp pang deep in his heart at this. He had always thought that if he and Hermione could get together, they would be very happy living in the country somewhere, bringing up their family. It occurred to him that Voldemort had stolen not only his parents but also his children.

Holding her very tightly now, Harry forced himself to concentrate. There was an exceptionally large bit of anger coursing through his veins but it could wait. Hermione was too important and this was too special a thing to ruin it with his fury at Voldemort or Snape.

Hermione broke into his thoughts by pulling away enough to strip off her own t-shirt leaving just her white cotton panties. She threw the shirt onto the floor and Harry gazed at her in the soft dawn light. Her breasts swelled softly with rosy tips and before he could even think it through he'd bent his head down to taste one. Her soft gasp caught him off-guard and he lifted his head to smile reassuringly at her before returning. He suckled her gently at first but her moans soon urged him on. She laced one hand through is dark hair and made a fist. He moved to the other breast then and she again let out a gasp at the sensation.

One hand moved to cup the breast he'd started with, pinching the nipple and rolling it between his thumb and forefinger. Her squeals of pleasure nearly made him come in his pants but he forced himself to concentrate on her. She wouldn't thank him if her first 'consensual' time ended because he couldn't control himself.

Her hands were tentatively exploring his body now, stroking him through the thin fabric of his underwear. He tore his mouth away from her breasts and kissed her hard on the mouth. This, thankfully stilled her hand and while she was distracted he reached down and began to edge her panties off. She immediately lifted her hips and pushed them down her to her ankles.

Carefully, Harry moved one hand down to the dark curls below her bellybutton and then further still until he could feel that she was soft and wet and very ready for him. She was panting now, and whispering his name.

He couldn't hold out any longer. Quickly, he kicked his shorts off and moved to her entrance. Poised there, he stared at her until she opened her eyes and nodded. "Please," she whispered.

It was all he'd needed. With one stroke he filled her completely. She was so wet that he had not had to go slowly, letting her body adjust. There, sheathed in her hot, wet body, Harry thought he'd explode. His arms were balanced on either side of her head and her hands had stilled on his neck. She seemed to be holding her breath.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"I'm fine," she breathed, opening her eyes again. She did not remember closing them. "I'm better than fine. It feels amazing."

With a jerk, Harry realized what she was saying. It might have been the first time she'd ever made love, but she was not a virgin. It didn't hurt. Quickly, his instincts took hold and he pulled out almost completely before thrusting into her again. She snaked her legs around his and she met him thrust for thrust. Their bodies found their own rhythm and Hermione quickly climaxed. It was as if the stars were falling out of the sky. Her head fell back and all she could feel was wave after wave of pleasure coursing through her entire being.

Harry felt the spasms begin and almost immediately his own climax took hold. He felt the explosion to this fingers and toes and when it was over, when they were lying there, still joined together, her fingers laced in his hair, his hands stroking her sides, Harry felt that he never wanted to leave her little house.

xoxox

Much later, after their breathing had slowed and Harry had carefully disengaged and settled himself on his side, Hermione rolled over onto her stomach feeling particularly naked and vulnerable. Her long dark curls fanned out over her back just barely touching the crest of her little bottom.

Harry pulled the sheet up to his waist and stroked her back through her thick curtain of dark hair. Her eyes were closed and a smile played gently at her mouth. "Thank you," she murmured.

"You are most heartily welcome," he told her with mock gravity, running his hand under her hair now, letting his fingers play on her still-heated skin. He watched her a while, absently enjoying the feel of her silky smooth skin, until his mind registered something. There was something about the skin on her back…he slowly brushed her hair away and tried to take a closer look but he needed his glasses.

Reaching for them on the nightstand and putting them on, Harry could now see that there appeared to be lines drawn down her back…no, he suddenly realized. Lines had been cut into her back.

"Hermione?" he said with a quavering voice.

"Hmm," she replied, a faint smile still dancing on her lips.

"What…what is this?" He traced a line up to her shoulder where it met another line that seemed to be heading toward the center of her back.

"What's what?" she asked dreamily.

"What is this that's been sliced into you?"

Her eyes opened then and her smile faded. He stared at her, waiting for an explanation, until she took one hand and silently swept her dark hair aside. He saw then what his fingers had felt. The pink and white scar tissue of lines forming two letters almost glowed under the pale, smooth skin surrounding them. The "M" followed the outline of her back with the two outer lines running up her sides to points at her shoulders and from there each heading toward the center of her back to form a 'v'. The "B" sat just below the vee's downward point, nestled between the two "M" lines.

"Who did this?" he asked, quiet fury twisting through his voice so that it was almost shaking.

Hermione looked away. She could almost forget that it was there sometimes. "It was a group effort," she finally said. "Mostly Bellatrix, though. She was in charge of the day to day care of prisoners, if you can call it care," she finished with a smile. "All mudbloods were marked as such. It's the only other thing the healers couldn't put back to normal. I don't know what spell she used but I've tried everything and it just won't fade."

"Did Snape know about this?"

"Of course," she said softly, watching his eyes which were still trained on her scarred back.

With a short nod Harry bit out, "I don't care what you say, when I get back he and I will be having words."

"No!" she cried, losing her temper. "You promised! Do you think he enjoyed himself? Do you think it was pleasant for him? He understood exactly how awful it was for me, but we would both be dead if he'd revealed anything. Besides I wouldn't be surprised if it's ruined his life at this point. I won't go back with you because I don't want their pity, but mostly I won't go back because it would be impossible to see him again and it would most definitely be impossible for him to see me."

Harry, in his heart, had to concede that she was probably right. Snape had never been the same once they'd come back. He'd been the only one unsurprised when Hermione had disappeared, had actually seemed a little relieved over it. He dropped his head and then looked up and nodded slowly, allowing his anger, not to fade, but settle in his stomach for later.

Hermione let out the breath she'd been holding before reaching to bring his head down until her mouth lightly touched his. He laid back down draping one leg over hers and one arm over the small of her back and deepened the kiss.

Her tongue swept into his mouth and he felt her turn onto her side so that they lay flush against each other. Her nipples brushed against his chest and he was immediately hard again. Hermione pushed him over onto his back and she straddled him, never breaking the kiss as her lean legs settled on either side of his hips. Slowly, she lowered herself onto Harry.

He groaned, tearing his mouth away, dizzy with pleasure. Hermione smiled and sat up letting her hands come to rest on his shoulders. He reached up and took a breast in each hand, pinching the hardened nipples. She sucked in air, quickly, and closed her eyes moving her hips against his. Harry dropped his hands to her hips then and again their bodies found a rhythm. When she came, Hermione let her head drop back and her mouth hang open, eyes closed and hair swinging, and the sight was enough to send Harry spiraling toward his own completion.

When they'd each finished, Hermione dropped to his chest and pressed herself against him. "I'm glad," he heard her say into his shoulder.

"Hmm?" he asked.

"I'm glad that you made me agree to let you come visit me," Hermione explained quietly, her voice tight with emotion.

Harry rubbed her back with both hands and said, "Me, too." It's a start, he thought. It's a start.