Title: The True Fatal Frame: What the Game Originally Intended, or The True Fatal Frame
Type: Parody
Warning: The rating is PG-13 to R for language and implied content.
Summary: Hilarious Fatal Frame Parody. Himuro Mansion, a whorehouse? Okay… wait, what? And Miku, insane? Well, as if that wasn't obvious!
The True Fatal Frame
.:in which Miku hangs out in a
bar:.
chapter one
Hinasaki Miku popped her chewing gum loudly as she leaned back in the small, leather-seated barstool, her spine placed, rather uncomfortably, against the wooden bar. Loud, very Mexican music was playing in the run-down, shady bar where she always spent her evenings; it was her favourite hangout. Snapping at the barkeep to bring her another sherry, she murmured to the strangers sitting nearby, "I wonder how long it's been… since my brother and I… began to see things… other people can't see…?"
The people sitting next to her weren't paying attention. They were watching the game of poker happening a few feet away, but Miku went on anyway, drowning in memories as she pictured her brother Mafuyu walking slowly up a woodland path. The moon was out, crickets were chirping.
"My big brother," she went on in that breathy voice of hers, "he was so sweet… and kind."
At this, the strangers sitting next to her turned and gave her a strange look. She smiled back at them vaguely. Miku had always had a very "intimate" relationship with Mafuyu. She cleared her throat and went on, regardless of the glances, pleased now that she had an audience.
"He was the only one I could open up to about these urges…" Miku colored. "I mean, visions. He was the only one I could open up to about these visions."
She could see Hinasaki Mafuyu clearly in her mind's eye. He was walking in the moonlight, his white jacket illuminated by an otherworldly light. Or maybe it was just the moonlight, like she had said. It was possible, Miku decided. Yeah.
"After our mother died," Miku went on, her face still flushed about the 'urges' thing, "he was my only family." Miku sighed dreamily. She could picture him now, his heart-shaped face creased in worry; his large, ochre eyes wide as he surveyed the mansion beyond the wide, rickety bridge he stood before. The people nearby leaned forward, intrigued, whispering to their companions as they tried to listen to her story.
It had been September 24th, 1986 when her brother had arrived at Himuro Mansion. The wooden bridge was old, warped from rust and rain. He placed his hand on the railing and—Miku could hear his oh-so-sexy voice as if he was there in the bar with her—said, "So this is Himuro Mansion."
Her cute little button nose wrinkled. He had always spoken awfully slowly. It was less like 'So this is Himuro Mansion' and more like 'Sooo thiiis issss Hiiiimurooo Maaaansionnn.' But anyway.
She could see him, standing on the bridge, looking up at the foreboding place, surrounded by… palm trees? Miku hadn't known palm trees were common in Japan, but… she shrugged. Whatever. And so, he took his first step across the bridge. The wood creaked loudly under his feet.
"My brother was in search of someone," Miku went on. But the people who had been listening had long since turned back to the game of poker. It was getting exciting now, and she had spent too long staring into space, thinking about her handsome brother, so they had lost all interest. But now the audience turned back, eyes wide with surprise as she said, " Takamine Junsei, a famous novelist—"
An older man standing near Miku, watching the game unfold before him turned to her, bushy eyebrows raised. "Is that what your brother told you?" he asked her curiously, and laughed. "There's no way in hell Takamine was a novelist. Try—"
"Shut up," Miku said absentmindedly, waving him away as she continued softly, "—and a man my brother was very indebted to"—here, she coughed pointedly and the people around her chuckled, exchanging knowing glances (they didn't know the half of it)—"disappeared, while researching a… 'book'."
She could see Mafuyu now, walking up the steps to Himuro Mansion with that oh-so-cute pout on his pretty face. Too pretty, Miku decided. She had always wondered if he was gay. But it wasn't possible… no! Mafuyu couldn't be gay… not when he understood her urges (uh… 'visions') so well!
"When he told me," Miku continued, "that he got a lead on Takamine-san's whereabouts, I felt… horny—uh, uneasy, that is. Yeah, uneasy."
In her mind's eye, there he was, opening up the door to Himuro Mansion. His face broke into a grin when he saw that the whole mansion was lit up with Vegas-style lights. Blue, green, red… and that other primary color. Oh yeah, yellow. And you know, a Playboy Bunny there, an electric sign with an interesting choice of topic here. He didn't waste any time in stepping in. He had a "novelist" to find.
Miku cleared her throat. "Anyways, I ffffffffelt 'uneasy' "—oh no, soon she was going to be talking like Mafuyu—"like he was going far away."
A/N: Yeah, yeah, short chapter, I know. But admit it, it was dead funny… what? It's what I thought when I first saw the intro… seriously. My friend Faith and I came up with the original ideas, and I wrote it out like this.
Eep, I wonder how many people are gonna be like 'OMG!1eleven! That's sick!'? Haha.
REVIEW, kind peoples! I shall update soon with the next chapter... and once I'm done with Fatal Frame, I'll do another parody with FF2 and 3! Heehee... that is, if you liked this one and want me to...!