Alright, my attempt into a full blown story. I dearly hope that the readers that already follow some of my other work will be kind enough to lend their opinions here as well, and for those that I have not seen before, I always enjoy meeting new people and love to hear helpful criticisms and ideas.
I am also going to ask for someone to volunteer as a beta for this and possibly other stories. If you're interested, please let me know through a PM.
Baby Blues
By: Blizzies8836 aka Bliz
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, Sasuke does and we all know it
Warnings: AU. Yaoi. Flames will be deleted. Don't like it, don't read it.
Chapter 1: Going to the Chapel
Going to the chapel, and we're gonna get married
Going to the chapel, and we're gonna get married
Gee, I really love you, and we're gonna get married
Going to the Chapel of Love
It was raining. Perfect. Just perfect. One more thing to make his life complete. Thank you, Murphy. Honestly, he wasn't sure this day could get much worse. Hell with it, he wasn't sure this week could get much worse.
He'd already failed three tests this week, something his guardian had had a field day over. At basketball the last four days in a row, his team had lost, and lost badly. Today again, they'd gotten their asses whooped. In English, they'd started the section on poetry. He hated poetry; damned girly shit.
Today alone he'd been late for school, got splashed by a car driving by, realized too late that on top of not eating breakfast in his rush to get to school he'd also failed to pack anything to eat for lunch. And now he'd have to walk home in the rain, without his jacket, since that was still at home, too.
Thankfully, it was last class, which meant he could go home once he'd endured this. He opened the door to see that his desk partner was, as usual, already present and seated. He didn't know if the other boy did it just because he was a stickler for punctuality, really wanted that window seat, or was trying to hide from somebody, but figured it was somewhere between all three. He threw his bag down on the floor with a loud thump and flopped into his seat with the usual greeting.
"Uchiha."
"Dobe." Came the reply.
Naruto scowled at him. "Fuck you, bastard."
Sasuke just smirked and went back to looking out the window and ignoring him, like usual. Naruto glowered at the back of his head, hoping to bore holes in his skull with the power of his glare. Would it kill the prick to actually call him by name? Just once? Nope, ever since the first day of the semester when they'd been assigned the seats, it'd been 'dobe', or 'loser', or 'dumbass'. Sometimes he wondered if he even knew what his name was.
The blond harrumphed and rested his chin in the palm of his hand, idly watching the rest of the class filter in. Health class was never very interesting, anyways, and their teacher was a pervert. Sure, he was here to teach them about sex and reproduction and all that shit, but did he really have to be so…descriptive? Then again, he mused, it could have been worse. They could have had someone like Jiraiya for the teacher. Naruto shuddered at the thought.
He was brought rudely to attention by their teacher coming into the room. Not only was Kakashi actually to class on time, but he was wheeling in a dolly with a stack of large cardboard boxes. The hair stood up on the back of Naruto's neck, and he had a sudden, overwhelming urge to make a run for it. What ever was in those boxes, he was sure, was not going to be good for him. He gripped on tight to the desk, watching warily as the silver-haired man started calmly unloading boxes onto his desk and reached for the scissors to slice them open.
Kakashi looked up to the class and smiled a slow, gloating smile that had most of them nervous. A look like that on Kakashi meant something really, really bad was about to happen. He was notorious for his 'projects' that he assigned, always walking that fine line between something educational and something outrageously inappropriate.
Like the time he'd made them all do research papers on various sex toys, claiming it was show them how such things went back in history and influenced people today on ideas about sex. Or having them pair up and given demonstrations on a partial mannequin for how different forms of contraceptives were to be used properly. Naruto was sure that mutt Kiba still had that photo of him demonstrating a female condom somewhere. Shithead.
"Alright, class!" Kakashi called to get attention and calm the din. He grinned and leaned against his desk. "I have decided what your final, end-term project will be. You will be working in assigned pairs, and it will be worth forty percent of your final mark."
He ignored the collective groans of despair.
"You are going to get married." He announced gleefully.
The class was dead silent as they all stared at him.
A girl upfront chuckled nervously. "Ah heh-heh, good one, sensei…"
He shook his head. "This is not a joke. You will be paired up as a married couple, and will have assignments to complete together. But," And he grinned slyly, "that is only half of it. You will also be becoming parents."
He stood and went over to the largest box and removed a bundle wrapped in a blue blanket. He pulled away the corner and revealed surprisingly realistic face of a baby doll. Holding it like he would a real infant, he held up a cord with a round silver pendant, and a set of yellow plastic chips.
"This is a 'Real Feel' baby doll, and it has to be cared for like a real baby. It eats, sleeps, cries and wets. It's programmed to sense if it's being held right, if it's being treated right, and if you respond properly to its signals. These," He held up the pendant, "Are ID tags for you. Each doll has two tags, and will respond to them and them only. There are buttons along the back that you press to show that certain actions have been performed, such as a diaper change. There is a bag for each of you of baby equipment for the doll, and all other accessories you will need. These yellow chips are personality keys, and all you need to know is that one will be used for each baby. You will take care of these for the next month.
"Now, for the pairs, as I said, you will be assigned partners. No working alone on this, and no switching partners. Who I give you is who you're stuck with, like it or not. Now, I did take in to consideration those of you that I know of that are already in relationships, and worked it that if I could, I put you together; I think it will add much more realism that way for you. Also, as you may know, we have an unbalanced number of girls to guys. There will be two pairs that are both male partners. Frankly, I think it will add some diversity, and it's a good lesson on open-mindedness for today's society."
Most of the boys immediately started looking nervously at each other, wondering if they got stuck in one of those pairs. The girls were eyeing the boys in turn, wondering who it was. Better yet, which one of them would get one of the hot guys. Like, say, Sasuke. Some were salivating at the thought.
Kakashi pulled a sheaf of paper from his desk, waved it with a flourish and grinned as he started naming off the groups.
"Inuzuka Kiba, Hyuuga Hinata. Please come collect your papers, fill out all the forms for the doll, and take your bag. Congratulations, it's a boy."
Hinata turned a bright shade of red and hesitantly took the blue bundle, Kiba standing beside her looking a little stunned as he watched the baby doll.
"Nara Shikamaru, Yamanaka Ino. Same thing. And congratulations, yours is also a boy."
And so it went. On and on, until it was getting dangerously close to the end. Naruto was starting to get worried; they were rapidly running out of girls in the class. Oh, please. He begged to whoever might be listening. Please don't make my partner be a guy.
"Hyuuga Neji, Sabaku Gaara."
That got the blond's attention. Those two? Holy shit, he thought, wondering how long it would be until there was a corpse. Not that they were hostile…to each other. Usually. Mostly because they'd never crossed paths before. But both were well known to be antisocial, bad-tempered and down right scary. Kakashi must be losing his mind…
"Uzumaki Naruto…" His head snapped around to look to the front, remember to pray again as he waited to hear the other name, closing his eyes tight in some futile gesture of shielding himself.
"Uchiha Sasuke."
The room went silent again, and all heads swivelled to them. The girls all had murderous intent in their eyes, and the guys looked on with unholy amusement at his expense. Naruto was shocked into silence himself for a moment, but it ended quickly.
"WHAT?" he exploded.
Kakashi just smiled blandly at him, carrying over one of the wrapped baby dolls. "You heard me, Naruto."
"But! But…Kakashi-sensei…you can't do this to me!"
"Speak for yourself." Sasuke muttered beside him.
"Too bad, Naruto, because I did. You and Sasuke, and that's final. Got it?"
Naruto sputtered, looked to Sasuke for help, and then bad at their teacher.
"But…" He trailed off weakly.
Kakashi smiled mischievously and handed him the doll, which he took without thinking.
"Congratulations, Mommy. It's a girl." Kakashi chortled to himself and winked at Sasuke, and went back to the front of the room.
Naruto stared dazedly down at the doll, and it looked back up at him with it's shiny glass eyes. It had blue eyes, he realized numbly. Just like him.
Well, shit. Shit!. How the hell was he going to get through this? A whole month. With Sasuke. And a baby.
If he listened, he was sure he could hear fate laughing at him.