All That I've Got
Written By Genjo-Fujimiya-Houshi
Disclaimers: Obviously, Yu-Gi-Oh isn't mine. It belongs to it's rightful author and I'm only borrowing Seto and Mokuba.
Author's Notes: Uhm... This is a Seto/Mokuba fanfic. If you're offended by this sort of stuff, I suppose you should press the back button. There's mention of Rivalshipping and Euroshipping. This is also my first ever Yu-Gi-Oh fic. You got comments and complaints, please e-mail me or review. I'll see what I can do. Please don't flame me about incest being wrong because I warned you before hand what this fic is about.
Mokuba sits across from where Seto is. His older brother is by his desk, looking through documents and is buried in his usual workload. The television is on, moderately loud. Mokuba flips from one channel to another, trying to find something interesting to watch. There were no words between them for now. He knows better than to bother Seto when he's working. He doesn't want to be a bother, knowing that his brother has too many things to handle as it is. He shouldn't add up. That's why he finds ways to amuse himself. It was something to be thankful enough for, the fact that he's allowed to stay in Seto's office. Usually, he doesn't want to be bothered by anyone or anything, unless it was very important and had something to do with his work. Mokuba is the only exception to that rule. The younger boy knows this, and he was content with that fact alone. He didn't need Seto to pay attention to him all the time to know that he was always there. In one way or another, Seto has already promised him that he would be.
This morning is different. Mokuba is not paying attention to what he is watching; neither does he remember how long it's been since he sat on the couch, watching Seto look over the files in his laptop. He doesn't know why he felt so cold at that very moment, just sitting there in complete silence. It feels awkward, there is something wrong. He lets out a breath and his brows meet slightly. Whatever the problem is, he knows that it shouldn't even be a problem. It shouldn't even have crossed his mind to begin with. His small hands grip on one of the pillows and he looks back at the television momentarily. He pushes a button to flip to another channel. He stares on for another moment but finds himself looking back at Seto.
Mokuba feels nervous. He doesn't understand why, but it makes him uncomfortable. He looks down, there's a worried expression on his face. He glances up at his brother and sees that he does not notice. After that, the sounds from the television faded somewhere at the back. Seto continues to work, if he stares on a bit longer – he will start to notice.
How many months has it been? It's been quite a year for Seto; Mokuba knows this because he's the first to find out about the things that happen to his older brother. He was there to hear and see everything. He knew that his brother has gone through a lot to keep the company running, to become an even better duelist than he already was. He knows that for a while, he managed to fall in love with his greatest rival, Yuugi Mutou (at least that's what Jounouchi and his other friends said). It ended bitterly, as he remembered. Seto decided that he could no longer stand the competition. His brother was insanely jealous of how Yuugi and his other self would be so intimate when they got the chance, when Seto wasn't looking or around. Mokuba remembers how pained his older brother looked every single day after he'd broken it off with Yuugi. Seto became extremely resentful after all of it, though he remained kind to his younger brother. Perhaps it was because he guessed that he was the only one he really had left? Mokuba tried his hardest to make Seto feel better during those times. He felt angry that they hurt him like this. But he figured that there was nothing left to do but take care of him to the best that he could. Now, as he sits there remembering, Mokuba wonders if what he did was really enough.
After a long while, Seto became his usual self again, he was glad that his brother managed to move on. A few more months, maybe a year or over, he doesn't really recall. But he is currently with someone else. He found someone new, or rather – someone new found him. Mokuba has met Ryou Bakura before. He remembers to have been fond of him. He knew the moment he met him, Ryou would not make the same mistake that Yuugi did. He has no doubts until now. Though Seto was the usual harsh-mannered, seemingly uncaring person that people perceived him to be, Mokuba knows better. He also knows how content Seto really is. All this time, Mokuba has been watching over him, just like his older brother takes care of him. They said they would care for each other no matter what may happen. Neither would let go of that promise.
He forgets that he's been staring at Seto for more than ten minutes. His older brother looks up, noticing him. He remains quiet for a few moments before he asks. "What is it, Mokuba?"
Mokuba shakes his head and blinks twice. His brother is looking right at him and his heart skips a beat. He feels cold once again – he tries to hide it. He cannot look away from his brother's gaze. He does not want to. He looks back, gripping onto the pillow even more. He hears the television once more; he's back to this reality. The images from months ago now gone. There is nothing else and no one else but the two of them. For once, Mokuba does not know what to say to his brother.
"Are you alright?" Seto asks again.
Mokuba nods and smiles a bit. But it's too fake, too obvious – it quickly fades. He takes a deep breath and opens his mouth slowly. A question now lingers at the back of his mind. He has to ask. But is it the right thing to do? What was the point of asking anyway? He knew the answer. But it wasn't the one he wants to hear, it wasn't the answer to what his question really meant.
What does he want to say anyway? Is it becoming evident? Seto is a smart person, he knows him too well. He can probably tell if something was bothering him. He is alarmed. Does he know what exactly is bothering him? He could only hope not. He doesn't know how to explain himself. He doesn't think he can.
He loves Seto. He is his older brother, the one who took care of him after their parents died. The one who protected him ever since. His brother is all the family he has left. The only family he needs. He doesn't need to be with anyone else as long as Seto is around. No one can deal with him or take care of him like his older brother does. Mokuba couldn't love and respect anyone more than he did him. The one he looks up to. The most important person in his life was him.
He loves Seto. No question. Perhaps the question was if it ended there or if there was something more behind that statement. He knows that loving and being in love are two different things. He's a smart kid. He might've never felt it for anyone else. But he imagines that if he did, it would feel like what he was feeling now. What he shouldn't have been feeling but did anyway. They were brothers. They were of the same gender. That was the line drawn. But did it really matter? They are both still people no matter what the label. But of course, Seto would care. He could already hear it in his voice.
I can't be with you, Mokuba. Not in that way.
He plays it in his head, in Seto's voice over and over again, maybe to make it sink in and make himself forget about it. But Mokuba isn't good at forgetting things like this. He tried before, it didn't work. He now knows, after thinking about it again that there is no escaping it. He feels it now; the tears are starting to form in his eyes. He is starting to shake, though he tries to stay still. He looks up and begins to speak. It's at the tip of his tongue, the question he's been dying to ask. He knows now, he cannot deny. He loves his brother. He is in love with his brother. All this time, watching over him, wanting him to be happy, making sure he does stay that way. He's felt this way all along. This is too much for him. He's too young, it shouldn't be this way, right?
"Niisama.." he begins.
Do you love me?
He hears it in his head, in his own voice – but he doesn't hear it come out of his lips. Seto continues to look at him, he's frowning – but he knows his brother is worried. Mokuba looks a bit pale.
"What is it, Mokuba?" Seto asks again. "What's wrong. Tell me."
"Niisama, do you love me?"
Seto is a bit surprised at the question. Mokuba keeps quiet, he stares back at his older brother and he does not smile. He looks anxious, he's waiting for an answer. His fists are clenched and he does not budge.
After a few moments, Seto sighs and speaks in a calm voice.
"You know I do, Mokuba."
Mokuba tenses up for a few moments and soon eases up. The tears halt from falling, he uses his sleeve to wipe them away and before Seto could say anything, he nods and looks down. His lips still do not form into a smile. Not even a small one, he has never really been good at hiding his emotions from his older brother. He looks back at the television, not knowing what else to say. Perhaps this wasn't the time.
"I just wanted to ask, that's all."