Ok this is my first attempt at a fic like this. I'm usually a happy fic writer but I figured I could try something a little more depressing. R&R.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or its characters.
Chapter 1The rain was pouring down on him, soaking his clothes in seconds, but he didn't care. He was headed for a dark alley in Hogsmeade, one of his favorite haunts. He sometimes wondered if things would be different if he had decided to do something after Hogwarts. He shoved his hand into his pocket and withdrew a crumpled piece of parchment. He had read it so many times, hoping to comfort himself with the familiarity, but it didn't help. He opened it up and read it once again.
Dear Ron,
How are you doing? You don't write anymore, but I can't say I blame you. I would be devastated if it had happened to my family. But you need to know that we are upset about what happened. It affected us all. I still think you should've come with us to train to become an Auror. Harry and I miss you. You still haven't come to see us yet. Oh Harry says hi. He would write more often too but he can't. His Auror training is really wearing him down. He's always exhausted. We don't have much time to go out because he's busy and I'm busy. My training is going all right. I'm still not sure if it was the right path for me to choose, but an Auror is worthwhile. And I still have time to work on S.P.E.W. I think you should get yourself a job. Now don't hate me for suggesting it but I think you should go back to the Burrow. You haven't been there since…it happened. It's not right. You inherited that house. You can't just live in that run-down house you convinced Harry to buy for you. I'm still chewing him out for that, by the way. But he did it for you and I respect that. Just go back to the Burrow soon. You need closure. Don't dwell on the past. Look ahead at the future. It's what they all would have wanted. Harry lost Sirius and we all lost Dumbledore, but we still looked ahead. The war is over now. You have nothing to worry about. Please think about it. For me. I would write more but I must go. I have more studying to do.
Love from,
Hermione
Ron's eyes watered a little, but he blinked the tears back. He folded up the rain-splattered letter and slipped it back in his pocket. He sat down in his favorite corner and thought. It had been months since Harry defeated Voldemort, but the loss of his family still hurt as it did the day they all died. Voldemort's Death Eaters had raided his house and murdered all they could find. His father died first, trying to protect his family. Bill and Charlie started firing as many curses as they could at the Death Eaters, but they were struck down as well. Percy was hit in an attempt to save Ginny, who wanted to fight to avenge her father. His mother died when she was getting him and Ginny out of harm's way. Fred and George died fighting to avenge their mother, and Ginny was struck down when him and her were leaving the house. He had jumped out of the window so he could help her through, but she was killed in her attempt to get through the window. He ran out of the house as fast as he could, grabbed the first broom he found, and flew to safety. Since that day, he hadn't stopped thinking that if they hadn't had anti-apparating and disapparating wards around the house, they might have all survived. But his father had insisted upon placing them to protect his family.
Ron scolded himself mentally for thinking about that day again, but he had never been able to get it out of his mind. Every waking moment of his life had him reliving that nightmare. Harry's journey to find and destroy the Horcruxes was lonely for Ron, who was forbidden to go so he could pull himself together after his loss. Hermione had objected to leaving him behind, but Harry threatened to leave her too if she didn't stop. Not a day had gone by after Harry left that didn't have Ron thinking about how much he had wanted to go with him. He would've been able to escape his world of pain and avenge his family, but Harry wouldn't allow it. He had to go into hiding til the threat was over. McGonagall had felt it was necessary since the other Weasleys were exterminated. He hated not having letters from Harry and Hermione, but knew it was for his own safety. After the war was over, he didn't care about his safety anymore. He didn't avenge his family, and would never get the chance to since Voldemort was killed and most of his Death Eaters captured. He never knew if they all died and hoped that some lived so one day he might get the chance to do it himself.
He wanted to kill himself, but every time he tried, he couldn't bring himself to do it. He knew it would hurt, but knew it wouldn't be nearly as painful as losing his family. He didn't know if Harry and Hermione knew that he was suicidal. But he figured that if they did, Hermione would freak out and visit him as soon as she could, and Harry would scream at him til he reconsidered. He didn't want to go back to the Burrow. It held too many painful memories. He didn't care if he never got closure. He may have inherited the house, but it didn't mean he had to live there or go back to it. He already had to endure the pain of the funeral. They buried all the bodies at the same funeral, and asked him to speak during it. But all he managed to do was say a few words then break down crying. Harry and Hermione had gone up there in his place and said everything that they could think of saying. He had stayed at the funeral long after everyone left, and had slept at their graves for about a week. He lived off very few clothes and any food he could afford. Harry offered to pay for everything but Ron refused. What he didn't know was that Harry was secretly paying for everything anyway.
"Hedwig!" Ron exclaimed when Harry's white owl flew down beside him. He removed the wet scroll of parchment from her leg and gave her a pat before she took off, but she didn't move. He sighed. "I suspect Harry's told you not to leave til I reply." Hedwig clicked her beak. "I take that as a yes. He's determined, that one." He opened the scroll and began to read.
Dear Ron,
How are you doing? Hermione told me that you haven't written to her so I figured I'd give it a try. Auror training is going great, but it's really exhausting. I feel like I never get any sleep. Hermione and I don't really go out much anymore. She's still obsessed with S.P.E.W. It's a little aggravating. I heard that you still haven't returned to the Burrow. Maybe it's time that you did. I know I bought you the house you have now but the Burrow will always be your home. You should visit us some time. We miss you a lot.
Hoping you're ok,
Harry
Ron folded it up and stuffed it in his pocket. Hedwig ruffled her wings, flinging even more water on him. He wondered if he should get himself an umbrella, but decided that if he got lucky enough, he might die from the flu. He stroked Hedwig for a few minutes, then pulled out some spare parchment and a quill and wrote to Harry and Hermione.
Dear Harry and Hermione,
I decided to write to the two of you together. It saves parchment. I'm fine, I promise. I'm glad to hear that Auror training is going well. I wouldn't want the two of you to fail at something you both want. Hermione, you need to give up S.P.E.W. It's getting old. I don't want to go back to the Burrow and I don't have to. There're too many painful memories there. Why would you want me to relive it all again? I don't care if I inherited any of it. I never want to go back there again. You need to leave me alone about it. And that's the exact reason why I don't write and don't visit. The two of you nag me too much. It's aggravating. Now I have to go. Enjoy your training and good luck.
Ron
He tied the letter to Hedwig and stroked her one more time before she took off. He leaned back against the wall and sighed, hoping they'd be happy with what he sent them. He didn't really want to talk to them, but figured that he couldn't avoid them forever. With those thoughts, he drifted off to sleep in the rain. What he didn't know was that someone was watching him from afar. A certain blonde-haired someone had been watching him while he was there, and did that every day. He didn't know that someone enjoyed watching him in that spot every time he went there.
End Chapter 1
Well review please! I hope I did a good job. I've never tried something like this before. It's a little weird. Don't forget to review! Chapter 2 coming soon!