AN: Well, here it is, the MURRUE RAMIUS unit. I probably should be updating my other stories, but my muse seems to have lost her angst/serious side for the moment, and is in parody mode... So anyway, enjoy! Oh yeah, may contain slight spoilers for Destiny.
MURRUE RAMIUS: The Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual
Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of a fully-automated MURRUE RAMIUS unit. To ensure that you get the full use and benefits of your Accidental Warship Captain, please pay close attention to the following instructions:
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Basic Information
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Name: Murrue Ramius (a.k.a. Mariyu Ramiusu, Captain, Murrue-san)
Date of Manufacture: 12 October, C.E. 45
Place of Manufacture: Earth, Atlantic Federation
Genetic Type: Natural
Height: 170 cm (unfortunately shorter than Natarle)
Weight: Unit does not allow to be weighed
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Your MURRUE RAMIUS unit will come with the following accessories:
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One (1) standard issued Morgenroete mechanic uniform
One (1) standard issued Earth Alliance officer's uniform
One (1) handgun
One (1) machine gun
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Please take note that the battleship ARCHANGEL is not included with your MURRUE RAMIUS unit. To obtain it, wait until ZAFT units attack HELIOPOLIS and destroy the original captain and other officers.
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Programming:
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The MURRUE RAMIUS unit may not seem all that willing to obey you at first, but with a bit of coaxing and time, she will warm up to you and help you out, just don't betray her. If you have problems getting her to conform to your requests, appeal to her sense of duty and compassion, or if you're willing to take the risk, get her angry.
Bodyguard/Assassin: Feeling threatened? Or is there someone you need to 'take care of'? Then this unit is perfect for you! The MURRUE RAMIUS unit is professionally trained in combat. She is good with both handgun and machine gun, and knowledgeable in battleship command. She is also agile in dodging bullets with Matrix-like skills, as seen in Destiny.
Search and Rescue: Is your CAGALLI YULA ATHHA unit missing? Or maybe you need a hand with finding your KIRA YAMATO. Even though other units (like the NATARLE BADGIRUEL) have given up on the missing units, the MURRUE RAMIUS will help you search for them. If she's not able to do it herself, don't worry, she'll help you call for backup (mainly from ORB).
Mechanic: The MURRUE RAMIUS unit is programmed to be mechanically inclined. Even though it's not often required of her, she is a good mechanic, specializing in overseeing Gundam development and production, as well as battleship repairs. But if you don't have a Gundam or battleship handy, don't fret, she can fix your car instead. Or better yet, get her to fix other people's cars and watch the cash roll in!
Judge: The MURRUE RAMIUS is usually level-headed and reasonable. She likes to keep order and avoid conflict as much as possible. So if your (or your friend's) KIRA YAMATO is in trouble, make sure to use the MURRUE RAMIUS as the judge!
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Your MURRUE RAMIUS has five (5) different settings:
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Serious and Professional (Default Setting)
Angry (Locked)
Worried/Indecisive
Sad
Relaxed
Note that Relaxed mode is reserved for when a MU LA FLAGA unit is near. The Sad mode is usually activated when the MU LA FLAGA unit is leaving or about to leave. Angry mode is unlocked when a NATARLE BADGIRUEL unit refuses to obey orders, or by the actions of MURATA AZRAEL and the EA.
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Relations with other units:
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Your MURRUE RAMIUS unit may seem cold and distant at first, but taking the time to know her, and you'll see that she is quite friendly (as long as you're on the right side). She is polite and compatible with most units.
MU LA FLAGA: Most compatible unit with your MURRUE RAMIUS unit. He will act as support and backup. He admires your MURRUE RAMIUS, and will defend her with his life. WARNING: destruction of this unit will trigger the Angry mode, we advise you to step away from her and keep all weapons out of her reach if this happens.
KIRA YAMATO: Another compatible unit, the KIRA YAMATO may be slightly wary or your MURRUE RAMIUS at first, but continued interactions will develop a much more friendly relationship, and the KIRA YAMATO will bail your unit out often. With the KIRA YAMATO Destiny Prototype, your MURRUE RAMIUS will act as guardian and big sister of the KIRA YAMATO, offering advice and support.
NATARLE BADGIRUEL: Semi-compatible unit, depending on the situations and the modes your unit and this unit are in. This unit will help your MURRUE RAMIUS out for the most part, though her methods are sometimes too radical for your MURRUE RAMIUS, and she may become angry or irritated. Most of the time, these two units are on friendly terms because they do hold certain respect for one another. However, please keep your MURRUE RAMIUS away from this unit if and when this unit obtains the DOMINION.
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Other unit interactions:
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CAGALLI YULA ATHHA: This unit is pretty compatible with your MURRUE RAMIUS. Your unit will take care of and look after this unit, and in return, this unit will offer your MURRUE RAMIUS assistance (monetary or otherwise).
ADMIRAL HALIBERTON: This unit is/was your MURRUE RAMIUS's mentor. She respects him a lot, and gets a lot of her ideals from him. He respects her as well, and will help her any way possible. Destruction of unit will cause your MURRUE RAMIUS to go into Sad mode, but she will get over it soon enough, especially if you have a MU LA FLAGA around.
ANDREW WALTFELD (as seen in Destiny)Both being warship captains, and having their loved one sacrifice themselves to save them, this unit and your MURRUE RAMIUS share an unique understanding. Though former enemies, circumstances have brought them to the same side, and they will fight together for the same cause. Your MURRUE RAMIUS may even go into Relaxed mode around this unit.
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Cleaning:
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The MURRUE RAMIUS unit is capable of cleaning herself, and she prefers it that way. But if you insist on cleaning her yourself, please remember the following: do not machine-wash; towel-dry only, do not tumble dry.
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Energy:
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Your MURRUE RAMIUS unit needs nourishment in order to function properly. Feed her thrice daily, preferably something healthy, not cafeteria food.
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Frequently Asked Questions:
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Q: Hey what's going on? Why is my MURRUE RAMIUS not listening to my orders? She was fine until this morning when I told her fight my enemies alone while I snuck away. Isn't she like an obedient soldier who listens to my every command?
A: You left her alone to fight a bigger enemy, without giving her any help! Well of course she would defect! You betrayed her, and it's all your fault that she no longer trusts you, so deal with it! And no, she is not an obedient puppet. If you're looking for a unit that will mindlessly follow everything you say, try the ATHRUN ZALA or better yet, the SHINN ASUKA.
Q: WTF! Why is an ANDREW WALTFELD unit always hanging around my MURRUE RAMIUS? He's acting rather friendly, too friendly, towards her. Okay, so I've kinda lost my MU LA FLAGA unit and she's sad, but still! I'm a big MxM fan and I don't want my MURRUE RAMIUS to be with ANDREW WALTFELD!
A: Woah, calm down there. There's nothing wrong with having some company from other units to comfort her when she's sad. They act friendly towards each other, and that's all that will come out of their interactions: friends. They don't even call each other by first names yet! But if your that worried about it, we suggest sending the ANDREW WALTFELD with a LACUS CLYNE to the ETERNAL, then go to BERLIN and pick up the NEO LORRNOKE prototype.
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Troubleshooting:
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Problem: Your MURRUE RAMIUS seems really sad and frustrated for some reason. She doesn't quite show it, but she's been quiet for some time.
Solution: Did a MU LA FLAGA and a NATARLE BADGIRUEL leave her alone to deal with an inexperienced crew, trying to defend JOSH-A by herself, even though she repeated called for backup? Well no wonder! The solution? Be patient and wait, the MU LA FLAGA unit will eventually come back to help her (like a knight in shining armour. Aww, isn't that cute).
Problem: Your MURRUE RAMIUS unit keeps on insisting that her name is "Maria Vernes", and your are starting to question whether you've received the correct model.
Solution: Don't worry, you do have the correct model. "Maria Vernes" is just a pseudonym she uses to temporarily disguise her identity. She will answer to her real name, if you're one of her friends.
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With proper care and maintenance, your MURRUE RAMIUS unit will lead a long and happy life, especially if you have a MU LA FLAGA unit around. But don't worry, even if you don't, she is strong, she will pull through.
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AN: okay, this one didn't turn out as good as the one for MU, 'cause I can't think of what else to poke fun at that involves her (yup, Mu is much easier to make fun of!), so I had to resort to some Destiny stuff...
So if you have any suggestions, please PM me or leave a review, and I might revise this later if inspiration strikes...