Disclaimer: Naruto doesn't belong to me, simple as that
looks backwards towards the three shady people in suits
"That good enough?"
Legend:
Location
"blablabla"
… speaking
What
a stupid thing to do … thinking
-Baka
kit- Kyuubi/Summon talking
-Baka
kit- Kyuubi/Summon thinking
-What
do you want- Naruto talking/thinking to Kyuubi
This story begins after the Sasuke retrieval mission, but before the training journey
Me, Myself & Kyuubi
Uzumaki Naruto
An Enigma shrouded in mystery.
Loud, brightly clothed with no apparent stealth skill, but able to lead Chuunins and Jounins on a wild goose chase for hours.
Failed the academy two times and was dead last of his year when he finally passed the Genin exam, yet able to perform a Jounin level and a S-Rank level Jutsu after only a few hours or days of training respectively.
Cheerful and optimistic in the face of the hate of an entire village because of something he had no choice in.
And still sane, despite the Kyuubi no Kitsune was sealed inside of him.
Or was there another reason?
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rootathell proudly presents:
Uzumaki Naruto, Uzumaki Naruto & Kyuubi no Kitsune
in
Me, Myself & Kyuubi
-A schizophrenic Jinchuriki-
OH MY!
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It was one of these days today, you know, the type of day you feel you should just stay in bed and pretend nothing happened and everything would be alright, but at the same time you know that you have to get up and face whatever the day might bring.
Uzumaki Naruto knew today was such a day, he knew it for one simple reason. One doesn't have a nine tailed Kitsune demon sealed inside his stomach and not trust his gut feeling.
No, he knew for certain, nothing good would come out of this, at least for him.
He would be right...sort of.
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After Naruto decided to get up and face the day, withstanding whatever fate had to throw at him, the feeling of dread began to build. At first it was just a wrenching of the described future-predicting gut of Naruto that he wrote of as spoiled milk (again).
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At the same time, elsewhere...
"SAY WHAT!" shouted the Godaime Tsunade at her fellow Sannin Jiraya in response to the bomb he just dropped. Despite the decibel level reaching that of a starting military jet, he seemed unfazed.
"I said it loud and clear I believe...I might not be an expert on medicine, but I know enough about it and seals to be certain enough to bring this up to you" explained Jiraya relaxed. While he cared about Naruto, he knew that this wouldn't harm the boy...he just needed some time to vent after that, but the villagers certainly brought this upon themselves.
"You. Believe. Naruto's. Schizophrenic?" asked Tsunade, punctuating every word with a sharp poke to Jiraya's chest.
"Well, I see no other possibility, even Naruto can't be cheerful all the time, if it was a mask, it would have broken long ago, he isn't doing any 'happy-pills' that I know of and I just recently discovered this little flaw in the Yondaime's seal. And it's better do do it now and ride out the storm, than wait for a hurricane to build." Jiraya reasoned.
"AAARRRRRGGHHHH!" Well at least Jiraya knew his fellow Sannin cared about the brat too.
"Out!" ordered Tsunade after she caught herself.
"Huh?" asked Jiraya still deep in his (normally perverted) thoughts.
"I SAID OUT! NOW!" this was punctuated by a Tsunade strike that catapulted the being fittingly nicknamed Ero-sennin out of the Hokage tower and in the direction of the woman's onsen.
Dammit, I need some sake thought Tsunade after punting Jiraya out of her office.
But first she had to deal with the possibility about Jiraya's story being true.
"Order Kakashi to find Uzumaki Naruto and bring him to me within a hour, this is important, tell him that if he's even a second late I'll ban the Icha Icha books in Konoha" ordered Tsunade though the intercom.
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Exactly 59 minutes and 59 seconds later...
POOF
"Yo!" greeted Kakashi cheerfully, as he appeared in a cloud of ninja smoke in the Hokage's office, with a bewildered Naruto beside him. After he caught himself and found out where he was, he let loose his normal greeting.
"Hi Oba-san" WHAMO! And once again Naruto was introduced to the ground by Tsunade's fist. "That was all Kakashi, you may go" calmly ordered the Hokage. Kakashi took the hint and quickly vacated the area, lest he meet the same fate as his student.
"Now, if you're ready to be serious take a seat Naruto-kun, we have much to talk about" ordered Tsunade of the Kyuubi vessel, who gulped loudly and did as expected from him.
"Naruto, I just received some troubling information from Jiraya about something, that involves you and your...tenant, but before I tell you the details, I want you to answer some questions...and please only tell me the absolute truth, understood?" explained Tsunade.
Naruto managed to nod, as the feeling of DOOM increased, you know, the one where you know that someone just fucked up royally and it's going to bite YOU in the ass.
"Good, I'll begin with some easy questions first. How are you feeling today?" asked Tsunade.
"Pretty good until now" Naruto answered without thinking.
"Thats expected. How has the village been treating you?" came the second question.
"Like always..." answered Naruto evasively.
"I see, how was your last mission?"
"Why do you ask that, you read the report...NOOO! You took a nap and drooled on it" exclaimed Naruto sounding surprised.
BONK And Naruto was once again introduced to the ground.
"No, I was asking you how the mission was for you" growled Tsunade.
"Ok, Ok, geez you sure pack a mean punch for your age, old lady Tsunade" grumbled Naruto under his breath. Unfortunately she heard him.
"I'll let that slide if you answer my question" she growled out threateningly.
"Well, it was a boring D-rank, what do you expect? It was booooooorrriiing" answered Naruto in a overly show of emotions.
"Well, you know that I can't assign a C-rank mission to a two-man Genin team and all the other Genin teams have their own missions so I can't just assign one of them to your team. You'll just have to wait until someone is free" answered Tsunade.
"Well, it sucks" answered Naruto plainly.
"I hope you aren't angry because of that, but I can't change the rules just like that"
"Hrmph, you are the Hokage Ba-chan, so why not?" grumbled Naruto.
"It's not that easy Naruto-kun, but tell you what, answer me the next questions and I'll see what I can do about assigning you as a fourth Genin for a C-rank" negotiated Tsunade.
"DEAL!" shouted Naruto gleefully.
"Good, now tell me about your mission" ordered Tsunade
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The questioning session lasted for another hour, before Naruto was released from his duty and Tsunade was left to her pondering...as much as she hated to admit it, Jiraiya seemed to be right with his assumption. There was no way Naruto could be so cheerful all the time...and she recognized the mask, after it got pointed out to her.
"Goddamnit...why did I take this job again?" mumbled Tsunade to herself.
"Because the gaki won your bet" answered Jiraiya from her side.
This time Tsunade didn't punt him into next week, instead she banged her head against the table.
"Well, you are the medic-nin, what's your diagnosis?" asked Jiraiya, after Tsunade had calmed down.
"MPD (Multiple personality disorder), like you suspected, but his other personalities are suppressed by the seal, which makes the situation even more dangerous. It's his 'darker' side that is suppressed and with all the hate and everything Naruto is dealing with, it will only get worse. Worst case's that his darker side will shatter the seal sometime, free the Kyuubi with it and unleash hell on earth" Tsunade groaned.
Jiraiya just nodded solemnly.
"I'll go with your solution...Jiraiya...correct the seal and take him on a training trip and let him blow off some steam. Hopefully that will be enough" Tsunade ordered.
Jiraiya just nodded again and took off.
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Naruto in the meantime got home and began to curse.
He knew Tsunade had seen through his mask, there was no way she could have missed 'it' with the questions she asked.
He might be able to fool the villagers and some shinobi with his mask of emotions...but not an exceptional medic-nin and a seals master.
"Damned Fox, damned Seal, damned Yondaime" mumbled Naruto. Oh he would love to hate them...but this was all he could.
That was when Jiraiya showed up in a puff of ninja-smoke.
"Yo gaki" greeted the (in)famous toad hermit his sometimes-student.
"Ero-sennin" came the greeting from Naruto, but not with the usual enthusiasm.
"Well, aren't you just a bundle of joy today" quipped Jiraiya. "Maybe I have something to cheer you up.
Naruto snorted "Don't play games, I know that you know"
"Good, then I don't have to explain anything and can fix the seal immediately"
"Fix the seal?" asked Naruto curious.
"That's what I said gaki...I found out that my student made an error when creating the seal that holds Kyuubi back, because it also holds your darker emotions back...like hate, jealousy and so on..."
Now Naruto looked interested, he had guessed, that the seal was the cause of his grief (other that sealing Kyuubi inside him), but he had no idea, that it could be fixed.
"Ne Ne Ero-sennin, can you do it?" asked Naruto excitedly.
"Don't you listen to me gaki? That what I'm here for...pack your stuff, you are going on a training trip with me...pack stuff for at least two months, I'll see you in five hours at the Gate" with that said Jiraiya left.
With lifted spirit Naruto began to pack his things.
"Hmmm...miso or beef ramen?" he asked himself.
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A/N:
...And another idea that I had after a strange dream...I really should work on my running stories rather that begin new ones
-root