Title: Finding You.
Author: Sailor Starlight Girl.
Genre: Romance.
Rating: T.
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Authoress' Note: First of all, this piece of work originated through deep thoughts of intimacy with Roy Mustang. What he really thinks of himself and just really deep thoughts. I don't think I have anything else to say about it, actually. Just I hope you like it, I guess?
Summery: They say fate determines one's destiny. But when you don't believe, there's always someone else out there that does. Royai, One-shot, rated for brief sex scene, Roy POV.
Disclaimer: I don't under any circumstances own FMA. There. I said it. Happy?
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Roy Mustang never believed in destiny or fate.
Hell, he never believed in such nonsense of God's existence.
And don't even get him started on the obscurity of being made for his first lieutenant as the theory of that was quite ludicrous in itself.
Roy Mustang was made for nobody.
Even if it were a possibility, he would not believe that anyone would want him for his blood stained hands and the heavy burden he must carry every single day due to killing two innocent souls.
He deserved nobody.
And nobody deserved someone like him.
Even if they decided to believe that they were made for him, he would call them foolish and then show them how dirty and un-clean his hands were and then... He didn't know.
Nobody had ever gotten that close to him as of yet and he didn't plan on letting them into his cold, selfish, empty heart.
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Climax, he would reach with them.
He would pant heavily and flop onto the opposing side of the bed.
The opposing body would lie in the same position and stare up into the ceiling.
"That was great," it would breathe, readily gaining its composure.
He would say nothing and begin the process of torturing himself.
Yes, each time he would 'sleep with' a woman, he would begin to despise himself for putting his body through such pleasurable torture and empty love at the same time.
"Roy…" the voice would whisper. "Did you like it too?"
The raven haired officer would then sit up in bed and begin to gather his clothing off the floor, "Yes, very much."
An empty lie.
The lie he told to every single woman he had ever been with to protect them from the cold hearted truth.
"Call me sometime?"
The voice would ask, sweet and innocent as it was.
It made him sick.
With his masculine back to hers, he would try and sound happy as he would reply. "I have your number."
Roy was good at lying and hiding from the truth. He had actually gave her number to one of his subordinates, telling him that she was actually a friend of his families and gave him the impression that she would be better off with him.
Havoc had smiled and thanked him before running over to call her.
A good deed he made, full of lies and secret deception.
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"A game of luck and chance," Roy read out loud, starting at the wooden box, before smirking at his subordinates, which contained that of Havoc, Kain and Breda. "Seems like a bunch of crap to me, guys."
Kain glanced up at his superior for a moment before speaking, "sir, don't you believe in luck and chance?"
It would be then Roy would pause for a moment, thinking of something remotely 'smart' to reply with. At least, something that would at least make him look like he knew what he was talking about.
"No, I don't believe in luck or chance. I think it's just like that of destiny or fate. Non-existent…"
"Fair enough sir," Kain would finish with a small frown before turning to facing back to his colleagues.
It would be then Roy would turn his face back to his subordinates and smirk knowingly, "Oh, and Kain, I hope you realize that when your back was turned, Havoc and Breda were choosing out the 'higher' marked cards, leaving you with the weaker cards."
"COLONEL!" Havoc and Breda both shouted in unison, which made Roy's smirk even wider in triumphant. Kain would then salute and ask for permission to scold officers higher up than him.
It would be then Mustang would just nod, chuckle and say in a jokingly manor, "permission granted to yell at them as loud as you want."
As soon as he had said that, Kain went back to their game and started yelling at the men, demanding them that he'd deal the deck and they would watch and wait for him to do it as the two grown men in front of him scowled and pouted at the Colonel as he walked past them with a smirk.
"Better luck next time, eh?"
It wouldn't be too soon before hearing some footsteps following him into the office. He knew who they belonged to as they had followed him through basically his whole career now.
He would then stop walking, before calling out her name, "Hawkeye?"
"Sir, I was watching you back there, with second lieutenant Havoc, master sergeant Fuery and second lieutenant Breda. I just wanted to know why you don't believe in fate or destiny."
It would be then he would turn to face her, with yet, another 'arrogant' smirk. "It's just like the non-existence of God, lieutenant. There's no proof, just belief and I don't believe. Just like I believe that there's no such thing as finding love and being in love. Love is a lie as is everything else people believe in."
Riza Hawkeye would purse her lips together before whispering, "But you don't know if that's true, sir."
Not really expecting a reply from her, Roy turned around to face her with a soft look in his charcoal eyes. "And you don't either, lieutenant."
"But I believe, sir."
A moments silence as Colonel Roy Mustang made his way to his desk. Instead of sitting down in his professional, sleek, black chair he instead, decided to sit upon the edge of his oak table. Still looking at her, he seized the opportunity to ask her a simple question which had been plaguing on his lips since he could ever remember;
"Do you believe that it is destiny or fate that two people could come together for a reason?"
It would be then she would cock her head to the side, slightly. Taking in the words he had just asked her before responding; "Sir, if you're inquiring about us being brought together by fate, then I think I'll just have to believe that."
She watched him smile, not sure if it was pretend or not, she stood there in silence.
"Hawkeye?"
"Sir."
"Could I ask you something else?"
"Anything, sir."
"Do you believe that there's someone out there for me?"
Another moment went past without an answer. She didn't know what to say, actually she knew what she wanted to say, but didn't want to have to say it, no, admit it to him. Admit that she would always be there for him and in times of trouble and in times of need…
"I believe that there's someone out there for anyone sir."
Roy's face hardened at his lieutenant's simple response. "… Even for those who are careless, selfish, stubborn, useless—"
It was almost immediately that first lieutenant Hawkeye bit her bottom lip as soon as he said that familiar word. "Sir, you aren't—"
"Aren't I?"
"No sir."
"I might as well should be, lieutenant. I'm no good in the rain, after all."
Hawkeye frowned. "That is against the point, sir. I believe that you'll find someone, just like everyone else will."
There were a few more moments more of silence before Roy's grim face turned to a small smile, his eyes gently connecting with hers.
"Think I've already found that someone, lieutenant?"
It would be then she would return his smile, with a minor one of her own at the unlikely-ness of his innocence. But she knew what he was getting at and it was even hard for her to retain her own feelings for him. Though, it wasn't by choice either one wouldn't admit to such a career destroying crime, but rather they had no other choice. It was the law and she would follow it until the day he became Fuhrer.
"Maybe we'll never know, sir," Riza finished, her relaxed composure remaining, though she couldn't help but smile to herself at his 'proposal'.
"Lieutenant…"
"Colonel?"
A momentary pause as a frown was suddenly replaced with a small Mustang smile. "If you ever stumble across this girl sometime, lieutenant…" it was then the womanizing Colonel would pause again, his smile growing warmer with each word, "Tell her that I believe that we're meant to be together, not by destiny or fate but rather, by choice."
"I'm sure she already knows how you feel, sir." Riza resorted, her hands resting at her side as her superiors expression had also changed to a much more determined one;
"Then tell her again, in case she forgets."
"Yes sir."
Needless to say, that afternoon, after work, Riza Hawkeye would softly hum her way home. Before escaping the boundaries of Central HQ however, the blonde lieutenant would gain a few strange looks from lower ranking officers than her. But truth be told, Riza Hawkeye didn't care. Not one bit.
Why you ask? Well, they had no idea what had happened; they had no clue what would be waiting for her at the end. Regardless of destiny or fate; he would wait for the moment when they could be together at last. Though this would mean she'd have to keep her determined façade a while longer, it didn't matter because tomorrow was a brand new day and it would bring new beginnings and perhaps someday, she'll have her happy ending too.
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Note: Ah yes, I gather that this was quite OOC towards the end, so please don't point that out to me, it just makes me twitch rapidly and go psycho. So yes, this is OOC. Please try not to point a factor out to me which I already know is true… But the thing is I'm sick of re-writing the ending, so it's going to stay OOC unless I think of something to write instead. I think I have writers block, so yeah, try and understand when you review.
So again, please Read and Review!
Thank you,
- Sailor Starlight Girl.