Boomerang

by

Padfootzluvr

Disclaimer: I own nothing but Calli..."You Will. You. Will. You? Will. You? Will." belongs to Bright Eyes, and all Harry Potter characters and places you recognize belong to J. K. Rowling.

"You said, 'Go explore those other women
The geography of their bodies.
But there's just one map you'll need;
You're a boomerang, you'll see,
You will return to me.'"

-Bright Eyes

Prologue:

One Map You'll Need

I've only been in love once. One time, out of my thirty five years of existence, I have felt what I am deciding to call "true love". Maybe that's average...I actually don't know. I don't make a habit of running around asking people how many times they've been in love; my legal record isn't exactly sparkling as of now, I don't really need to add "disturbing the peace" to my list of wrong-doings.

I find it odd that most songs are about love. How can you tell someone about love? How can you write a song, and make someone experience what you have felt?

You can tell a story, and evoke strong emotions, but you cannot evoke pure, unadulterated love from a human being with words, a melody, and sound. There is one way to express love through sound: silence. It was always those silent moments that love was the most palpable, the most raw, awkward, tremendous, beyond comprehension.

Sit in a room in the dark without any noise at all for an hour: that is being in love. Absolutely terrifying, but you wait through it, expecting something to happen, something to justify your sitting alone in a room in dark so that if once of your mates happens to open the door and ask what the hell you are doing, you can say "finding love...this is what it is". That is what love is like.

But I never got whatever I was waiting in the dark for. I felt the fear, the overwhelming fear and loyalty and admiration and beauty and complete and utter chaotic adoration, but always felt like I was still waiting. Maybe that's why my relationship imploded...

Calli reached that climax, that orgasm of the relationship...she wasn't left waiting, wanting more and more and more for what she put into it. Lucky bitch. That monster with the acid green eyes created a crack between us, between Calli and me. That crack grew into a rift, a canyon, and a gorge until there was just no way to salvage what we started with. What we started with...what was that, exactly? Our relationship never could have worked out how we would have liked, with us starting out how we did. Sure, we were around twelve years old when we met, and decidedly not every little event, every tug or pull, every bickering conversation between two twelve-year-olds foreshadows the future...but it couldn't have helped, right?

We were better off as friends. She was reluctant to get in too deep in the first place, but I persuaded her. I always persuade people into seeing it my way. I didn't expect to be in over my head so quickly...who on earth finds "the one" at twelve years old? It's ridiculous. It is like some stupid pansy-ass hope that that girl with the pigtails and the braces and the acne in the back row of the classroom has, while doodling "Mrs. Whats-her-face-so-and-so" all over her notebook.

We weren't like that. Sometimes I wish we had been. Not with the pigtails and braces and utter ridiculousness. I wish we had, just once, been naive enough, romantic enough, trusting enough, to jump all the way in; noth of us, at the same time. That is what I wish...among other things. But look where wishing has gotten me, right? In my parents house, with my mother's screaming portrait, a raving house elf, and a lycanthropic conscience.

Calli cannot be the only one out there for me...I'm overreacting. There goes Sirius Black, drama queen extraordinairre, right?...Right.

...Right...

Godammit. I am so fucked. Who the hell am I kidding...I still love Calli. I always will...It's weak, low, pathetic, despisable, repetitive...And this is how it has been since we started dating in sixth year: one of us leaves, then they come back...the other one leaves, then they come back...over and over...like bloody predictable boomerangs, just returning like some the other threw us around a bit for fun...

I should go find her, maybe she isn't too mad at me...

Post A/N: This was a sort of a prologue: the first real chapter will be up later this week. Review if you feel like it, luvs.