Zim's Humble Little Offer

By Linda J.

Rated PG for mild adult content

Summery: I've only seen a couple of Invader Zim episodes and this is my first fan fic for him. I'm sure I've made one or more mistakes regarding the storyline but hopefully nothing too out of place. The timeline for this story is relatively soon after Zim comes to Earth and the basic theme is Zim offers Gaz an interesting proposition. A mild ZAGR fic.

Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine; I will not make any money from this.

CH1

Zim sat quietly at his desk doodling aimlessly on the paper in front of him. He chose to ignore Mrs. Bitters' usual dismal rants about yet another pointless matter as did all of his fellow classmates.

'How do I get these loathsome meat sacks to submit to me? I've tried to learn their weaknesses, find their vulnerabilities and still I'm no closer to my goal than when I first came to this miserable rock. There must be something I'm missing; something I've over looked. I need an edge over these people, I need to have a greater advantage; I need…I need…' he then glanced down at the drawing he subconsciously scribbled. Strangely enough it looked like one of these humans; in fact it reminded of someone he had recently seen many times.

'This drawing I've created looks something like that girl; that girl who lives with that fool Dib. His sibling I think she is,' he thought to himself.

'Hmm, why would I draw a picture of my worthless enemy's even more worthless sibling?' He pondered the question silently in his mind when suddenly one of his classmates yanked the paper from his desk and began waving it in the air.

"Look Mrs. Bitters, look! Zim's drawing pictures!"

"Oh is that so?" the creepy old woman slithered over and took the paper from the student's hand.

"Give that back!" Zim demanded. "I'm ordering you!"

"Well, well," she ignored him entirely while she revealed her cruel plans to humiliate the little green guy.

"We have an artist among us class. I'll just tape his picture up here on the chalkboard for everyone to see." Zim couldn't help but drop his head hard enough to hit the desktop with a loud smack as his classmates gawked at his mindless doodles. Suddenly Dib jumped out of his seat in rage.

"Gaz? You drew a picture of Gaz?" he yelled in disbelief.

"Oh so that's her name," Zim raised his head.

"Yes that's her name. You know that, you've heard me say it a hundred times."

"I never paid any attention before," Zim responded innocently enough. Soon most of his classmates were singing, things like, "Zim loves Ga-az, Zim loves Ga-az while others sang Zim and Gaz sitting in a tree…"

'How repulsive!' the Irkin shrieked in his head. 'Me in love with one of these pathetic sub-creatures! Me having feelings for one of these despicable organisms! The idea is preposterous! It's absurd; it's revolting; it's ridiculous; it's…it's…' …the dark and devious wheels in his mind began to turn…"…it's brilliant!" he jumped up and shouted out loud.

For the rest of the day Zim impatiently counted the minutes until 'skool' was over and the moment the bell rang he dashed out of his chair and rushed outside to find Gaz so that he could begin to lay out his latest plan to enslave this world. Dib of course was hot on his tail and eager to learn of Zim's new plot.

"I know you're evil Zim; I know you're not good," Dib was quick to remind the alien.

"Is that so?" Zim smugly remarked. "Perhaps your sister has other ideas about me."

"My sister?" Dib repeated in dismay. "What do you want with Gaz?" Just then Zim spotted her across the street and began to head her way.

"Oh you'll see you pitiful twit. You'll see."

Gaz quietly stood underneath a large oak tree when she noticed that weird looking green kid her brother kept insisting was an alien coming toward her with Dib following close behind yelling at him.

"Whatever you plan to do you leave my sister out of it!" he roared.

Gaz rolled her eyes and groaned to herself. 'Now what?'

The closer they came the more urgent her brother's voice sounded. "Run away Gaz! He's after you!"

"Oh is he?" she mocked skeptically as Zim now nearly stood toe to toe with her. "Well if he wants to start anything with me I'll just have to kick his little green butt."

Zim suddenly noticed that she was at least an inch or so taller than he and instinctively he felt himself humbling before her. For reasons he couldn't explain he found himself at a loss for words even though he tried to gather his thoughts and opened his mouth to speak, he could only to stutter, "I…I…I…"

"Are you always this good at conversation?" Gaz asked him impatiently just as she began walking to the taxi that had pulled up for her. Dib stared at the cab in surprise.

"Where'd you get the money for a taxi?" he jealously asked.

"Dad gave me a twenty for my report card this morning; if you'd concentrate on your skool work instead of your paranoid para-normal crap, you'd see some cash once in a while yourself. C'mon Dib, lets get some pizza," she offered as she stepped off the curb and allowed her brother to get inside the cab first, leaving a dejected Zim standing alone under the tree.

'Curses!' he cried out to himself. 'I must try again!'