Disclaimer: POTC is not mine and probably never will be.
"Rule Number 1: When dealing with the female portion of our sex, understand that nothing you do is correct. Nothing."
-"Rules Of Engagement For Dealing With Ladies"
"Rule Number 1: When managing the frustrating male, understand that nothing will be understood by him. Nothing."
-"Rules Of Engagement For Managing Gentlemen"
Chapter 1: Prologue
The Men…
"Good God, James! What happened to your head?"
Commodore James Norrington winced as his fingers touched the rather large colorful bump on his forehead. Turning to one of his best friends, Lieutenant Andrew Gillette, he grimaced. "I got in the way of a flying book, I'm afraid."
Andrew snorted. "I just hate it when that happens. What did you do this time?"
James exasperatingly exhaled. "Devil if I know! I come home thirty minutes late because of the unexpected arrival of that ship yesterday and Pru goes completely mad. I tell you, if I'd known that being with child would have gotten her this way, I might have avoided certain...activities all together!"
James had married Pru Martin almost two years ago and they were expecting a child within a couple of months. Pregnancy had exacted some stunning changes on Pru's moods. As the months passed, James's wife's moods fluctuated with the speed of a bullet. One minute she'd be angry, the next smiling, and then the next she'd be flooding the room with tears. He hated that, as the tears usually coincided with his doing or saying something rather stupid and she would always vehemently shout, "DON'T TOUCH ME," anytime he got near.
So it was, with great relief, James found himself with his three friends: Andrew, Theodore Groves, and Will Turner. They met regularly for a drink now, relishing their refuge of an all male environment. This part of their world made sense. Add the female contingent and none of the gentlemen knew which way was up…
"I don't know what to do anymore!" he continued.
Groves and Gillette laughed. "Please, you'd really stop 'certain activities'?" Theodore asked.
James gave a wry grin. "Okay, well no."
Andrew snorted. "Didn't think you'd be that noble…I see the way you look at her…"
Will looked at him over his glass of port. "Can't understand women at all. Even Elizabeth is still a mystery to me. There are times I'm completely baffled at her actions and yet she looks at me coolly and tells me, 'If you can't figure it out, I'm hardly going to tell you.'"
Theodore piped up, "They need a manual. Everything I've learned to do in the navy had a manual…Why can't women have one? Rules of engagement as it were…"
Every last one of them agreed that a manual was needed. By the time the suggestion was made, they'd even constructed a basic list of questions…
The Women…
"You did what?" Elizabeth exclaimed with surprise.
Pru looked down at her chocolate cake. "I threw a rather large tome of Shakespeare at him. I was a bit angry…"
Anne Norrington, James's sister, spoke up. "I'd say so, Pru. Remind me to never anger you in the library…"
Pru blushed. "It really wasn't his fault, I admit. All day, I'd been feeling as if I were the size of the Dauntless and somebody would eventually come up to ask when I was ready to make way…"
Her friends interrupted. "Pru, you're not that large! And you're with child, not fat! Why you're practically blooming. Nothing is more beautiful than the fact that you're having a child!"
Pru stroked her expanded stomach with a matronly smile. By her estimation, she was about seven months pregnant. She could not wait to see the face of the child she'd created with her husband James. It was a girl, she was sure of it. That, of course, didn't stop James from insisting that she was carrying a boy. They'd actually made a rather interesting bet on who would be right…with the winner receiving their forfeit a few months after the baby would be born. Health necessitated that it occur no sooner than that…
Pru continued, "It didn't help that James came home later than usual…My imagination has been especially vivid lately…all I could imagine was that James had tired of loving a ship sized female and had looked for other entertainment…"
Anne interrupted. "Pru! You know James would never do that! He loves you…"
"I know, Anne. Rationally, I know that. Unfortunately, rational thought is almost alwaystrumped by irrational ideas…and I was quite insecure by the time he found me in the library. When he answered my questions about his whereabouts with business, I pressed on. He retorted with an annoyed'Why is it so important?' He saw it was important that I know, but he dismissed my questions…I blew up then…"
"And you hit him…" Elizabeth said.
"Right in the forehead…He was acting like such a Clod! I'll never understand men…"
Elizabeth nodded. "Even Will can be dense sometimes…I'll be vexed with him for something very obvious and he'll still ask 'Is something wrong?' Of COURSE, there is something wrong! But I'm hardly going to tell him! He should know what he did that was stupid…"
"Yes, but with men, that list of 'stupid' actions can be quite lengthy." Pru replied.
Anne broke from a daydream. "Sometimes I wish there were an instruction manual. 'How to Manage a Male with the Least Frustration' or something like that…"
Elizabeth clapped her hands with amusement. "I like it…For instance… Rule Number 1…"
They spent the rest of their time together forming Rules…Rules of Engagement with the Enemy…or Gentlemen…
Later that evening, James gathered Pru into his arms. They were lying in bed and discussing the events of the day, including the book incident…
"I really am sorry, you know." Pru tried her best to look contrite, "I never knew I had that good of an aim! Besides, the bump looks rather dashing on you…"
James snorted with disbelief. "Theo said it looked as if I was in the process of growing a third eye…Somehow, that doesn't scream 'dashing' to me, Pru…"
Pru bit her lip. "I am sorry…"
James hugged her. "Don't fret upon it…Come now, let's discuss other things…How was your tea with Elizabeth and Anne?"
"Oh, we discussed this and that. Nothing of any consequence. How was your appointment with Will, Andrew, and Theo?"
"Nothing of consequence, same as you said."
There was silence for a moment as Pru thought. James felt a bit of worry. Pru thinking too long without talking about it was never a good thing…
His fears were confirmed a few moments earlier… "James…" she began.
"Yes, Pru?" he asked with trepidation…
"I was thinking…"
"Never a good thing to do when it comes to you…OW!"
She punched him in the arm. "Quiet! I was thinking…Gillette isn't courting anyone, hasn't really since I've met him…has he?"
"No. He'd had a bit of trouble with relationships. He's sworn them off…"
"Him? He deserves someone to love more than anyone! I'm going to make a match for him…"
"Pru, are you sure that's wise?"
She nodded. "He'll thank me later, I'm sure of it…" She paused for a moment. "Perhaps we should throw Anne and Gillette together more often…
"NO!" he firmly answered.
She frowned at him. "Why not? Just to see if any sparks fly?"
"There will be no sparking here! He's my best friend! Having him court my sister…would practically be incest! Plus, I'd have to watch him constantly. I know Andrew…he's a man…"
Pru snorted. "So are you."
"Exactly! I know what we're capable of…"
Pru rolled her eyes. "Then we'll just have to monitor them carefully."
James looked at her. "I'm not even sure that they like each other…"
"Neither did we when we first met…I thought you were a pompous self-absorbed…"
"That's enough."
"Hardly, dearest. You'll help with it. It shall be a project of friendship. You want you're dearest friends to be happy, don't you?"
"Of course I do. But…"
She smiled at him. "Wonderful! You shall report to me anything Gillette says about Anne and I shall consult with Elizabeth about what Anne's feelings would be. It's a shame that more of the localgentlemen haven't noticed her…She's just so shy…"
"She's always been like that I'm afraid. I don't think I'll help you with this 'project'."
Pru was adamant. "Yes, you will…unless you'd like more books to mysteriously fly in your direction?"
He groaned in defeat. "Anything but that! How was it that I never knew your violent book throwing tendencies before we married?"
She smiled smugly…"All relationships should have a few things shrouded in mystery…Now as to my plan…
I will try putting them together more often…although, you are correct…it doesn't seem as if they like each other much…I wonder why that is…Oh!" Pru pressed a hand to her stomach.
James instantly alert asked her, "Are you alright? Is it the baby?"
She stalled his rapid speech. "I'm fine. She's just getting a bit active tonight."
He placed his hand by hers to feel their child's movement. "He's being active, you mean."
She slyly smiled. "Nope, not at all. We're having a little girl, make no mistake…"
Eventually, lying there, feeling the movement of their child, both Pru and James fell asleep…each pondering Gillette and Anne…and the manipulations to come…
AN: Welcome to the sequel to "Song of the Sea"! I hope it will prove to be entertaining…I'll try, really I will…This is a bit shorter than I'd wanted…but other chapters will be longer…