A Woman's Reflections

Shigekuni Yamamoto Genryuusai called a meeting today to discuss the budget allocation to the various divisions. Truth be told, it wasn't so much a discussion than General Yamamoto's a monologue on fiscal management. The rebuilding efforts were taking longer than initially planned; as such, the infrastructure was wanting. What could we do at such a meeting but stand in our pre-arranged positions and nod politely at appropriate moments in the General's speech? However, I lifted my head at the announcement that we must all ensure our divisions 'economise' and brace myself for that which I know follows orders for retrenchment. True to my surmises, Kuchiki taichou twitched his lips in disdain as the sounds of Kurotsuchi's objections resounded through the audience hall of the First Division, followed by Zaraki taichou's vociferous claims that his men needed money to maintain the new training regime he recently conceptualised. I exchanged a glance with Hitsugaya taichou who was rolling his eyes. "Troublesome old men," he muttered, blushing at the colourful language between the Eleventh and Twelfth Division Captains.

"My experiments do not run on air!" screeched Kurotsuchi taichou, his hands trembling with barely concealed anger. "What about the second stage of my…"

"Che," snorted Zaraki taichou dismissively. "We'll be a lot better off without your damnable abominations running amok."

The sounds of Kurotsuchi taichou's fist clenching reached my ears. "How dare you call my work…"

General Yamamoto silences them with a stern word. Finally, I thought, smiling inwardly. I had supposed he dozed off. He intervened ten seconds late by my count. Oh well, perhaps he wanted to gauge reaction of the Captains. Whatever it was, he silenced them and was now droning as to exact costs of rebuilding this, that and the other. Really, that man has no conception of the rising cost of things. Men are generally thus in my observation. I attribute it to the fact that they neither go to the market nor compare prices. Working with financial constraints is familiar territory for me because the Fourth Division often has to retrench and economise. Thankfully, Isane-san has a good head for figures; as such, our Division has enough for a rainy day. It never hurts to save even a little, I believe. Dear Hinamori-san feels the same way, for she manages the day-today administration of the Fifth Division with a steel will. She never allows Kurasaki taichou (or Ichigo as he frequently invites me to address him – I never do, of course) to worry over the paperwork. When I last spoke to her at the Shinigami Women's Association Spring Fair for Needy Rukongai children, she informed me that the Fifth Division had a budget surplus after all the expenses were meant. She will deal famously with Hitsugaya taichou in a few more years. The two little ones are simply adorable when they banter on, picking mock fights with each other.

Dear me, General Yamamoto is still droning about quotas of something or the other. I seem to have lost the thread of his speech. Oh well, no matter, a memo will be sent round by hell butterflies to remind us anyway. I'm ashamed to say that my mind wandered. I'm not usually like this, you understand. Usually, I really am calm, cool and collected. However, since nursing Ukitake-san back to health after the dreadful near death attack, I cannot help but be anxious for him. Then there was the matter of his declaration when he recovered. Kyoraku taichou' blandishments are things that I tolerate with a laugh – he never means them anyway, unless he's addressing his beloved Ise-san (or Nanao-chan as he calls her). Ukitake-san's mode of declaration was new, to me at least. No man in his right mind would advertise his deficiencies and inadequacies. Then again, that's what I like about him. Still, I wish he would think better of himself. What does he mean he has nothing to recommend him? Look at him – any woman can see that he is perfectly eligible. He possesses sincere eyes, handsome manners, a gentlemanly demeanour, and nobility of spirit. No wonder, Kiyone-san sighs over him like a love-sick kitten. Unlike Aizen's blatant disregard for ethics in encouraging little Hinamori-san's infatuation, Ukitake-san is too proper to ever encourage her. But the girl persists in her admiration. Upon some reflection, I realise that I was like that too in the Academy and my early years in the Fourth Division.

I recall following him around the Academy until he disappeared beyond my range of vision. After all, he was immensely popular with the other young ladies there who were all infinitely more beautiful than I. I knew my place – who would want a staid creature when there were beauties fighting to carry his books? I bumped into him twice at the Academy. The first time occurred when I was found him collapsed in the field outside campus grounds in his imprudent attempt to retrieve Kyoraku taichou from some drinking hole. In our second encounter, he gallantly rescued me at the library when I fell. And what did I do? I lost my self-possession and ran off, leaving him my handkerchief. I was a diffident creature then, and remained so when I was admitted into the Fourth Division. I recall stopping work just for a tiny moment whenever I sensed his reiatsu. I was content just to watch his long strides, hear of his deeds, catch glimpse of him, and worry after his indifferent health. He was and still is very popular with the young ladies in Gotei 13. Just yesterday, an unseated female Shinigami from the Ninth Division was admitted to the hospital wing because she had fainted. Apparently, the lass swooned when Ukitake-san called after her to express his concern over the state of her worn sandals, one of which had a hole in the sole. Dear me, I must have a word with him. It would not be practical for the Sereitai if young ladies were swooning all over the place. Truth be told, I do not approve of such behaviour.

On hindsight, I realised I watched him because it was infinitely easier to observe than to act, especially when one is uncertain as to what one ought to do. What could I do? It would be immodest for me to push myself forward. There were times in the past when I was tempted to reach out and just touch his robes. But propriety forbade it. Furthermore, I did not know what I would do if he glanced my way. Somehow, whenever he caught my eyes, he would salute me with that disarming grin and I would return him a polite nod or a gracious smile. That precious gesture from him would be enough to sustain me for a year, I thought. How wrong I was! I was a lieutenant when I heard he was promoted to the captaincy of the Thirteenth Division. At that point in time, I realised I would see less of him. I could bear it, or so I thought. I heard reports that his health was declining due to the administrative burdens. Oh, I longed to visit him, only to examine his condition, you understand. But my wizened late Sugasaka Akira taichou always did so himself. He would never allow me to call on Ukitake-san. Come to think on it, on the numerous occasions, he was admitted to the Fourth Division's hospital wing, Sugasaka taichou sternly warned me to stay away from Ukitake taichou. I never knew why until he returned drunk one night.

Unlike most intoxicated people, my late Captain was more lucid in the state of inebriation. This was understandably a far cry from his reticent sober state. However, he was always a strange old man. That night, Sugasaka taichou stumbled into the hospital wing and observed me tending to the injuries of a third of the Eleventh Division. "Unohana-san," he said, removing his Captain's coat and wrapping it around me. "It is late, you should rest. It will not be much longer when you will supplant me in this position. I already know you have achieved bankai." Naturally, I demurred. I knew my place. He only waved my objections aside and stroked his beard (for he was a very old man – even older than General Yamomoto). "Don't go near Ukitake taichou, you hear. I don't like the way he looks at you. Who does that sickly pup think he is, wishing to pluck the loveliest and purest flower in Gotei 13? How dare he cast his unchaste eyes on my little Retsu. Ah, my little Retsu, Father will protect you!"

Poor Sugasaka taichou always confused me for his daughter when he was intoxicated. I had heard from Urahara-san (who was then fukutaichou of the Twelfth Division) and Yourichi-sama that Sugasaka taichou's daughter would have been about my age had she lived beyond her sixth birthday. Eerily enough, we had the same name – Retsu. Now that I reconsider on the matter, perhaps there was some credence to the rumour that Sugasaka taichou had the gift of foresight. At that time, I dismissed his words on Ukitake-san, who I thought never really looked my way, just as I dismissed his words on his eminent death. However, Sugasaka taichou had the last laugh, for he died two day later while attempting to retrieve the Captains and lieutenants of the Eighth and Ninth Divisions from the living world. He managed to save Kiriya Udai taichou of the Ninth Division as well as the lieutenants (one of whom was Kyoraku Shunsui). The reports stated that before he could save Nishimura taichou of the Eighth Division, he was swallowed by a hollow.

The day after the funeral, Kyoraku-san and I were ordered to take the 'Captaincy Assessment' to bolster all the recommendations for our promotion. I had refused initially, until Urahara-san reminded me that it was my duty to fulfil my late taichou's wish. The written examination was straightforward enough, as was the kidou examination. The footwork, swordplay, hand-to-hand combat, and bankai examinations were more difficult to clear. These tests involved the candidate outwitting three to four Captains. Ukitake-san came to every one of my tests except the bankai assessment. My momentary disappointment soon turned to dismay when I saw him in the examination grounds. It was then that I realised I had to crack the power of his bankai in order to earn the Captain's coat. His bankai manifested itself in an iridescent lightning bolt with the ability to form a protective shield around him. All I had to do was crack it. Minazuki took after me in his unwillingness to hurt anyone who did not commit some heinous deed, and we were hard pressed to find an opening. Then, Minazuki saw it – he could use his barbed tail (he had a barbed tail in bankai form) to disrupt the electrical impulses in the air. I bade him do so and as soon as the protective shield was broken, poor Ukitake-san fell into a coughing fit. Before I could do anything else, Minazuki swallowed him and refused to spit him out. I recall begging Minazuki to release Ukitake-san, because if he stayed too long in my Zanpakuto's belly, his soul would be absorbed into it. "Little one," I pleaded, patting Minazuki's head and scratching his chin. "Ukitake-san did not mean us any harm. Be a dear and release him out. Please, for me." Minazuki blinked his large eye once and promptly regurgitated Ukitake-san, at which point, I sealed him in my scabbard.

"Unohana-san… you still… possess the ability… to make my heart skip a beat," teased Ukitake-san in a rasping cough when he wiped off Minazkui's stomach fluids from his face. That remark made my cheeks burn and I fled from the assessment grounds after a hasty apology to the examiners, thinking that I had done something horridly wrong.

At that time, I was not as composed as I am now. I hid for the rest of the day, masking my reiatsu from everyone. If my fellow Fourth Division officers had not seen me, I'm sure they would have assumed that I had dropped off the face of Soul Society. Of course, I knew I could not hide forever and was prepared to see General Yamamoto the day after my shameful escape from the test and resign my Shinigami commission. When dawn broke, I stepped outside the Fourth Division to make my way to the First Division audience hall only to find Ukitake-san waiting for me with a sheepish smile playing on his lips. I sought to retreat but he caught my wrist. His shyunpo had always been better than mine, so that was no surprise. "Genryuusai-sensei instructed me to give you this," he began without preamble, draping the Fourth Division Captain's robes over my shoulders.

"Impossible!" I dissented, "After my disgraceful behaviour yesterday…"

"Ah, but it was not as disgraceful as attending the bankai assessment drunk. Even that did not inhibit Shunsui's promotion," he laughed, his eyes dancing with an emotion I could not place. What else could I do but paste a serene smile on my face and avoid those brilliant eyes? "Happy birthday," he continued in a whisper and shoved a single stalk of lily in my hand. By the time I had regained my senses, he had already left and the hell butterflies carrying the news of the promotion of two new Captains fluttered through the air.

The memory of that day is one of my most precious recollections. I had forgotten that it was my birthday and he had remembered. That was more than enough for me. He was uniformly thoughtful to everyone, and that was all it was – a gesture of kindness – or so I thought. I know better now, of course. The next year came, and he brought two stalks of lilies. Every year, the lilies would multiply and my lieutenant would hide her speculative eyes, brimming with excitement whenever he came to the door. In the thousand two hundredth year of my Captaincy, he did not come to the Fourth Division because he was recuperating from a particularly nasty attack. In his place, he sent Shiba-san (his late lieutenant) and his third seats with a thousand two hundred lily blossoms. I told him that it was excessive to send that many, but he never pays any attention to my protests. Yet to be honest, after a thousand two hundred odd years of lilies annually, I was beginning to feel that he was being coy. It was then that I noticed it – the way I could feel his eyes following me. I once questioned Kyoraku taichou about Ukitake-san's strange habit to discern whether he was unwell and too shy to ask for medical assistance, he only tipped his straw hat and cheekily declared, "That's because Retsu-chan is the most delicious morsel in Soul Society." I only laughed at his blandishment. After due reflection, I came to the deduction that Ukitake-san felt a certain obligation towards the woman who had repeatedly saved his life. Either that or he was curious as to the laconic Captain of the Fourth Division.

As it transpired, I was wrong. I discovered this quite by accident sixth months ago…

I had just completed morning meditation when I heard Kiyone-san's loud wail in the front yard and Kotsubaki-san's shouts for me. Between their garbled speech, Isane-san and I managed to piece together that Ukitake had a turn for the worse. My worst fears were confirmed when Kyoraku taichou brought him to me nearly lifeless. Somehow, I managed to bring him back. The effort left me physical, spiritually and emotionally drained. Perhaps I was selfish in wanting him to live. I wanted to hear his voice again. No, I needed to see him laugh. I needed him to fill the Fourth Division Headquarters with lilies on my birthday, and I needed his occasional little notes. I had only recently perfected the method of pickling umeboshi just for him – what would I do with the barrels in the Fourth Division basement if he were gone? Stare at them? Feed them to others knowing that he would have wanted me to do so? Sit at my balcony and try to stare at the empty quarters of the Thirteen Division across the lake where I used to be able to see him?

Still, the irony was not lost on me. My selfish desire to keep him near me compelled me to save him. It even made me desperate enough to threaten Kurotsuchi taichou to develop the medication. I'm not proud of doing so, but I am glad I did. Though it was very highhanded of me to presume to manage his Division without his permission, I must confess, it has done both Kotsubaki-san and Kiyone-san some good. Perhaps it is my vanity speaking (and which woman isn't without vanity) – sending them for refresher courses at the Shinigami Academy has improved their relationship. At least, they are now able to work together without squabbling incessantly. Now, if only I could do the same for Kyoraku taichou. The day after my patient regained consciousness, he came to visit. As usual, he kept spouting some gobbledygook about throwing himself at my feet and whatnot. How shocking! Do men really do such theatrical things? No wonder poor Ise-san looks askance at her taichou! Why can't men be more like Ukitake-san? He was a model patient under my care, with a very good appetite for an invalid. I was overjoyed when he finally came to, even if I was embarrassed for dozing off. I must have looked horribly drawn, but he looked at me as if I were a brilliant gem. His gentle bashfulness at being in my quarters amused me vastly. Surely he could not assume that I would allow anyone else to see to his treatment. He would not let me retreat when I sent dinner up to him. He requested that I stay and read him the latest Shinigami news. I could not refuse his polite entreaty and those imploring eyes, so I humoured him until he dozed off.

Perhaps I had given away too much of my true sentiments away that night, or perhaps Kyoraku taichou had filled his head with a lot of nonsense. Whatever the reason, he told me the very next day that I could drop by his Division for tea any time I wished. Though a part of me was secretly pleased, my mind was very much disconcerted. Why would he even condescend to look at me? What did he want from me? I did what any sensible creature would do when confronted with something that rocked the very fabric of her soul – I retreated. It pained me to do so, but I had to. I could not stay in the room and look at those imploring eyes without losing my equanimity. I had to sort out my thoughts. By evening, I was well enough to face him should he plot his next move. A woman always knows when a man's profession of affection is coming. I could tell that his was on the tip of his tongue earlier that day. I was prepared to turn him down. After all, how can anyone be good enough for him?

However, I changed my mind when he chose not to speak of love, but esteem. He knew exactly what I wanted. Thus, I told him that we were beyond speaking when words were not enough, and verily, I stand by my opinion. Sometimes, a look or a gesture is more eloquent than all the words in the world. In all the years that I've known him, the natural earnestness radiating from the centre of his being has comforted me. And I believe his promise that he will do everything in his power to ensure my happiness. That in itself tells me everything I need to know. As he squeezed my hand, I knew that my late taichou and Kyoraku taichou were right. Two thousand years of observation and I was too blind to see that he had been waiting for me.

A soft but persistent cough interrupted my reverie and I was instantly transported back to First Division's audience hall and General Yamamoto's droning voice. Ah, the meeting to discuss the budget – how could I have forgotten, I mentally chided myself. I glanced quickly at Ukitake-san to ascertain if he's all right, and I notice Kyoaku taichou flash me a mischievous grin. He is an amusing man, made of many quick parts and a sanguine temper. If only he was more serious with Ise-san, they could make an excellent match. Curling my lips slightly whilst maintaining eye contact with him, I managed to arrest his breathing just for a brief moment. He should know better than to tease me when my chief concern demanded my attention. Kyoraku taichou finally understood me and nodded sheepishly at me.

Unusually, Ukitake-san was in attendance at the meeting today. A few discretion glances at him assured me he was all right and as well as he could ever be. But as it was, I wanted to ask him whether he had consumed his cough draught yet. The hacking sounds from his throat told me that he had neglected to consume the medicine in his haste to attend this meeting. However, he soon recovered enough to wipe his mouth. We exchange a knowing look of promised conversation as soon as we left the sanctity of the First Division. Kuchiki taichou (who was beside me) raised a brow to express his astonishment when he caught the silent exchange between Ukitake-san and myself. I smiled placidly at his reaction and received a haughty look as Kuchiki taichou narrowed his eyes. No matter, let him think what he will. He will most likely assume that I turned him down for Ukitake-san. I shall not disabuse him, and knowing my dear Ukitake-san, neither would he.

Ukitake-san was refolding the handkerchief again, shifting his weight from foot to foot. Poor dear, his foot must have fallen asleep. I never tire of watching Ukitake-san. Just when I think I understand the inner workings of his mind and the meaning conveyed by his little gestures, he surprises me by doing something contrary to my expectations. But what else does one does expect from the only man who has evaded every single categorisation I have ever given him? However, it is embarrassing when he catches me observing others, or worse, when he catches my gaze wandering in his direction. Meeting his amused eyes with studied nonchalance is one thing, knowing how to properly react to them without losing composure is something I have yet to master. He's so adaptable that he is never out of place with subordinates or equals. My eyes wandered off on their own volition in his direction again, and as fate would have it, he caught me red-handed with a penetrating look. I sincerely hope I possessed enough self-control not colour in such a public place. It was sometime before we broke eye contact; and we only did so due to a very loud and deliberate attempt by General Yamamoto to clear his throat.

"As I was saying, remember that your Divisions' budgets will have to be reduced by ten percent. Try to manage within the constraints; do you understand me, Kurotsuchi Mayuri?" Yamamoto adamantly reiterated himself, firmly tapping his zanpakuto staff on the floor.

The scientist reluctantly harrumphed his assent.

"Good, you may all leave," the old man intoned, openly his left eye briefly to scrutinise me. As I prepared to move off with the rest, he sought to detain me by indicating I should go to him. "Unohana taichou, a word if you please."

The Captains filed out without looking back, with the exception of the heads of the Sixth, Eighth and Thirteenth Divisions. Kuchiki taichou cast me a sympathetic look before turning on his heels towards the exit. Kyoraku taichou and Ukitake-san who were undoubtedly laughing over some bawdy joke started. One shot me a look of assurance that was mingled with anxiety. The other raised his brow at the man he affectionately called Yama-ji.

The implication of these glances was not lost on the astute old man, who sharply told his two former students, "Outside, both of you now."

Ukitake-san pursed his thin lips into a smile to encourage me and was dragged off by Kyoraku taichou.

As soon as the heavy doors closed, General Yamamoto turned to me with a sigh. "You will do very well for him. He has always possessed a good eye even in his youth. At that age, when a man chooses a wife, he generally chooses ill. I'm very glad he has drawn such a prize. It took him long enough. Look after him when I'm gone, Unohana taichou," he declared, leisurely scrutinising me from head to toe.

"Sorry?" I questioned, quite taken aback, sincerely hoping against hope that I had misheard him.

His old eyes met mine in a piercing stare. By some miracle, I managed to retain my composure, until he continued, "I do not speak well enough to be unintelligible, Unohana taichou. At the Academy, Jyuushiro would lose concentration the moment you passed by my classroom to use the ladies' latrine at the end of the hall. His eyes would follow you until you were out of sight before he could pay attention to my lessons. Moreover, it has come to my attention that Jyuushiro has engaged you as his personal physician. You must be aware that others have been talking…" He paused, as if searching for a delicate phrase. "I know about your walks and talks, and your pains to keep matters discreet." Taking my embarrassed silence as a sign to carry on, he said, "Your modesty does you credit. Come here."

Approaching him with careful steps, I masked my trepidation with tiny smile of acknowledgement and tightly clasped hands.

"Hold out your hand," he commanded. I did so, not knowing what to expect. To my astonishment, he deposited a small packet in my outstretched hand. "Your records indicate that today is your birthday and the anniversary of your commission to the captaincy. Therefore, take this as your otoshidama."

"Oh no, I cannot," I began, in an attempt to give voice to the thoughts flying in my head. It was a fact he did not dispense any special favours to anyone, except perhaps Ukitake-san and Kyoraku taichou. Furthermore, I had quite forgotten about my natal day, given my responsibility in training the unseated Fourth Division and caring for several of the First Division officers. "The New Year has long past. It would not be appropriate for me to…"

"A birthday is like the beginning of the year for a person. Besides, you already know he is like a son to me, Unohana Retsu," he cut me off sharply, forcefully curling my fingers over the little packet so that I could not return it. "The lady Ukitake Jyuushiro chooses is by extension my daughter. You must be wondering whether I would do the same by Kyoraku Shunsui. Do not lie; your sense of impartiality is famed throughout Gotei 13. I will do the same by the Ise girl when Kyoraku stops acting like an arse."

Executing a formal low bow so as to conceal my amazement, I quickly said, "Thank you, sir. Is there anything else?"

"Your discretion, my dear," he replied, forming a steeple with his hands. "I expect he is still waiting for you in the antechamber."

Tucking the otoshidama in securely in my obi, I bade the Commander good day and left. Surely Yamamoto taichou must be mistaken – choosing a wife? What an inelegant phrase (ah, but men are like that, I remind myself)! Heavens! Ukitake-san and I have never discussed marriage. The old man must be running before his horse to the market in his assumptions. I have no such aspirations. No sensible woman would hint marriage to her suitor after a mere six months. Granted we have a two thousand and one year acquaintance, however, the notion of that suggestion on such a short courtship is repugnant to me… Heavens! I am perfectly content just to be near him now and then, sharing a cup of tea and conversation.

I must think no more of this, for I see Ukitake-san pacing in the antechamber, his hands firmly behind him and a look of consternation on his brow. There was no sign of Kyoraku taichou lounging anywhere. Ah, undoubtedly Ise-san must have tactfully suggested that Ukitake-san wait alone. Heavens knows what kind of unwarranted anxieties the well-meaning Kyoraku taichou would put in poor Ukitake-san's head.

"Shall we go?" I asked at the door. "I expect Isane-san is waiting for me."

Ignoring my reasonable request, Ukitake-san rushed to my side and demanded to know whether I was reprimanded for something and if he should intercede with his Genryuusai-sensei.

"Nothing's the matter," I answered with a serene smile, clasping my hands before me. "He only wanted to enquire after some of his seated officers in my care. Now, let's pick up Isane-san. You will see your third seats when they return from class in another three hours."

"I sent her on an errand." Ukitake-san muttered, flashing me a worried look to signal his disbelief. He followed me onto the main road outside the First Division headquarters before asking, "What did he really want, Retsu?"

"Hush, Ukitake taichou, not in public," I reminded him in a low voice, nodding to a few Shinigami officers from the Third Division who greeted me.

He greeted the same Shinigami officers with a cheerful wave and walked beside me. "Are you certain he is not punishing you for whatever he thinks you have done?" he quizzed in whisper as stopped outside my Division headquarters.

"No, no, it was a perfectly amiable conversation about his recuperating seated officers," I insisted with my most winning smile. "Now, shall I accompany you to your headquarters or do you want to come in?"

"If you're really sure it was nothing," the Thirteenth Division Captain said (in what seemed to me to be a petulant tone). Then as if seriously considering my question, he paused for a moment to scratch the back of his neck in uncertainty. "Let's take a walk," he announced at last.

"How long are we going to be out?" I asked patiently, mentally running through my duties for the day.

"Just for a bit. Please," he pleaded and looked at me with those beseeching eyes. Thank heavens I was leaning on my Division door, otherwise I would have lost my composure.

I conceded with a sigh of resignation. "Very well, where are we going?"

"It's a surprise," he gaily declared, offering his hand.

"I will not abet your scheme if it's something naughty," I cautioned, bracing myself for something Kyoraku taichou had done. My poor Ukitake-san was always picking up the loose ends of his friend's sake parties.

My reservation must have been etched on my face, for he copied my position on the wall beside me. Leaning his head back on the wall and tilting it so that he could whisper in my ear, he laughed, "It's nothing like that. We'll use shyunpo, no one will see us."

"Are you mad?" I intoned quietly, effectively masking my shock. Surely, my companion would have noticed the stares, whispers and giggles of the Shinigami passing by my Division, most notably by one Matsumoto Rangiku. "We're in public! Think of your reputation or at least your health! What about our work and…" My words were truncated when Isane-san came running up to us.

"Everything is in place, Ukitake taichou," panted my lieutenant, supporting herself on the wall next to us.

"What is?" I demanded coolly with a sympathetic smile at Isane-san. The poor dear must have been cajoled into Ukitake-san's mad scheme. I hoped it was not a conspiracy, I abhor conspiracies.

"You'll see, Unohana taichou," came Ukitake-san's teasing reply. I noted his stress on 'taichou' was accompanied by a wagging finger. He's such a presumptuous fellow! I did not know he was a rascal. Oh dear, what have I gotten myself into. "Isane-san, I must trouble you to manage your taichou's paperwork, while I steal her for a bit."

My lieutenant nodded with a faint blush and went into the safety of the Fourth Division, leaving me to fend for myself.

"Come, Unohana taichou," he said, his eyes dancing with an intelligible gleam of triumph. He always gave me that look when he thought he was privy to something I did not know. "Walk with me to the park."

Seeing how I had no choice in the matter, I assented to his madness. Heaven help me, for indulging him, I thought with a long-suffering sigh. "If you are entertaining the thought of luring me away while your Division fills my rooms with lilies, I am honour bound to tell you your plan is doomed to failure."

"I know," he answered with a bright smile, as we made our way to his proposed destination with shyunpo. "Now," he continued, spinning me around and securing a blindfold to my eyes. "There's no one here now. Give me your hand."

"Ukitake-san, I do not play games. We're too old for blind man's bluff," I sighed in exasperation, stretching out my hand in the direction of his reiatsu until he caught it. "I would very much to be released. If you refuse, I will react with due force. Binding spell number fifty-si…" Before I could continue the kidou spell, he caught my other hand.

"No, Unohana-san," he chided, amusement creeping into his voice. "I know you don't need the incantation for kidou spells, but you do need at least one hand. You can't do anything when I have both of yours. Trust me, my dear."

While I do trust him with all my soul, I dislike being led around in circles. Thus, I reacted as any sane woman would by politely requesting that he release me or I would lodge a formal complaint against him. However, my protests met deaf ears and I found myself transported elsewhere in (what I assumed to be) the park.

"Sorry, my dove… but it… had to be… done," he coughed raggedly, catching his breath when we stopped.

"Hush, your lungs, Ukitake-san," I reminded him, patting him in the back. "Pop one of the lozenges I gave you yesterday and you will be better shortly." I waited patiently for his breathing to return to normal before applying for the removal of the blindfold.

"Not until we've crossed the bridge," he pleaded, taking hold of my right hand. It must have been the short bridge across the lake for I heard the gurgling of water. My assessment proved correct when he finally removed the blindfold with the request that I was not open my eyes until he said so. Knowing full well that there was no stopping him when he was in one of his moods, I indulged him. I don't know what madness possessed Ukitake-san, but it was best I waited until I had all the facts at my finger tips before remonstrating with him. By this time, I had lost track of our exact location in the park. I only knew that he helped me up some steps and sat me down in what I surmised to be a stone seat with cushions. "All right," he announced in a self-congratulatory tone, placing his hands on my shoulder. From their position, I gathered he must be standing behind me. "You may now open your eyes, Retsu. Happy birthday."

I did so, mentally prepared for the worst. I had most certainly not anticipated the sight before me. Apparently, we were in a nice shady pavilion where the tea things were laid out and beyond it lay a field of lilies as far as the eye could see.

"Well," he began in a nervous cough, as he bent to rest his chin on my right shoulder. "Do you like it? There are exactly one thousand, five hundred and ninety-nine lilies in the field, one for every year since your promotion."

Resting my hand on the twitching one on my left shoulder, I could not help but smile. "It's lovely, Jyuushiro," I replied softly.

"So, do you really like it?" he asked shyly as he sat down beside me.

I was puzzled as to reason for his sudden bashfulness, until I recalled that I had addressed him by his name. "Of course, who wouldn't? Thank you, my dear," I assured him, resting my hand on his tightly clasped ones.

"Then will you permit me one more liberty?" His eyes glittered darkly as his voice became serious. I nodded with a gentle smile. "I would like a prize for my effort." I poured the tea and bade him continue with another nod of assent. I do not like this sudden gravity. I hoped he wasn't going to say something he would likely regret later. Men sometimes have that habit, or so I heard from Matsumoto-san. "A kiss," he whispered timidly.

"You may have my hand," I told him, stretching it out to him. He had made this request before and I had always permitted him my hand and forehead, so I could not see what the fuss was about.

"No, I meant from you," he clarified.

"Ah," I replied, my voice clipped, restrained and polite. "I see." I considered the two options available to me. I could flee and file a sexual harassment charge, or I could humour him. I chose the latter, so as to avoid complications. Furthermore, how could I refuse him when he had been so kind as to planned a surprise for me? Thus resolved, I leaned to my side and pecked him lightly on the cheek. Even though I knew it was a relatively chaste gesture, my cheeks were burning somewhat, as were his I must add. I certainly did not expect him to flush. Really, asking me for such a thing… Sometimes, I feel he has no shame. But that's exactly why I'm so attached him. I would have clung to his arm had my habitual self-restraint allowed me any further extemporaneous display of affection. As it was, the colour on his cheeks further embarrassed me. What else could I do but lower my eyes and quietly suggest, "I believe it is appropriate to breathe at such moments."

In response, he laughed at my little reminder and drew me closer to him so that I could rest my head on his arm as I am fond of doing, and watch the lilies sway in the wind.

NOTES

Otoshidama – New Year present in the form of money.