Disclaimer: I own nothing...blah...JKR and Anne own characters...blah blah blah...
A/n: Alright, so I couldn't resist people asking me for more. Plus my friend said I should have added this with Draco's prank so here it is now. Also, for all those who care, I AM working on "Cursed" and chapter 3 "It's Really Not Good For Us" should be up Friday. On to the story!
It was completely dark outside when Draco woke up again. The full moon shone brightly, so Draco woke up breathing in strands of Luna's hair and cat-Neenie cuddled up near his neck. He only had one thought on his mind.
We left my boxers outside.
Carefully and quietly he extracted himself from the middle and made his way to the door.
He was reluctant to wake up Luna and ask her to fly up and get them, because that would involve her touching his boxers and he wasn't sure he was ready for the visual images that would conjure up. He was also reluctant to wake up Ron.
Same reasons. Different visual images.
Draco shuddered artistically and just simply walked down the stairs and out the back door. He had made the climb before (in his boxers!) and he would just do it again (to get his boxers). Simple. Nothing could go wrong with the plan.
And nothing did. He climbed up to the branch and reached over to un-loop the rope securing them. The wind that had made them look like a flag before was dead, so they were limp. In fact, they had caught on a branch so one of the legs had become something like a pocket.
There were several acorns inside.
Shrugging as best he could while up a tree Draco just pulled them out and grabbed his boxers. Underwear in one hand and acorns in the other, he climbed down again.
About halfway down he heard strange chattering noises. Inspection of the foliage revealed nothing so he just continued climbing. Several feet above the ground the chattering noise came again, this time closer and by his right ear. He turned to look.
Into the absolutely furious face of a very pissed off squirrel.
Immediately upon eye contact the squirrel leapt, squealing angrily, to latch onto his face.
He dropped to the ground with a yell, clawing at the enraged animal. Once he had gotten it off he got up and tried to run.
Several of them, chattering in fury, took him down again.
The little Tasmanian devils were clawing at him and jumping all over him and squeaking at a high pitch, so he did the only thing he could.
"HELP!"
The door to Grimmauld Place slammed open to reveal wolf-Moony and Danger with her wand upraised. They both took one look at the situation and broke into fits of laughter.
"THIS ISN'T FUNNY!" He yelled as they leaped and twitched all over him.
Moony was on his back, his paws clawing the air, howling in laughter. Danger wasn't much better.
"WILL YOU STOP LAUGHING!"
All this shouting had roused the rest of the Pride. Upon appearing they were soon no better than Moony and Danger. Draco had, by this time, managed to get out from under the animals and had taken off.
Whenever he got to the edge of the wards he turned around and ran in the other direction. As he couldn't stop to smack each one of his family he settled for shouting obscenities every time his route crossed theirs.
"YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY HARRY?" Draco yelled at his brother after ten full minutes of running. Harry was laughing the hardest of them all.
Draco plucked out two acorns and threw them in Harry's face. His only missiles.
To his ultimate surprise several of the furry little buggers detached themselves from the chase after him and promptly threw themselves at Harry's face.
Harry fell backwards with a yelp as the infuriated creatures swarmed him.
"Ha HA!" Was Draco's triumphant yell before he tripped over a stone. He fell hard and the squirrels stormed.
His final solution was to jump onto the gutter and hoist himself up. Once he was ten feet up the white aluminum pipe he looked down triumphantly. The squirrels surrounded him like a pack of hyenas, squealing in anger, but they couldn't reach him.
He held out the hand holding the acorns.
"Here, squirrels." He cooed. "Here, squirrels. Here's your nice acorns. You're not going to hurt nice Draco, are you?"
The fits of laughter from his family as he hung suspended on a pole surrounded by evil little furred monsters was not helping him at all.
"You guys are really damaging my calm!" He growled at them. This did not stop them from laughing at all.
Draco let the acorns drop. The change was immediate and dramatic. The squirrels calmed at once and grabbed their acorns, chewing them happily. The image of squirrelly innocence.
They leaped and darted their way back to the tree. The biggest one (and coincidentally the one that had first attacked) gave Draco a chirrup and placed the smallest acorn of the bunch at the bottom of the gutter pole.
If it was human, Draco thought, it would have patted the pale-blonde boy on the head sympathetically. With a last twitch of it's tail it fled.
And then the gutter pipe gave way and bent, depositing Draco unceremoniously on the ground. The expressions of his family ranged from sympathetic (Hermione and Luna) to beginning to laugh harder (everyone else).
"How can you still find this funny?" Draco demanded once he picked himself up. "I'm tired, I'm sore, and I just got attacked by killer squirrels!"
Unfortunately this made them laugh harder.
When the Pack and Pride settled down again, Draco had been calmed (the method which was used to calm him may or may not have included hot chocolate and another snog with Luna), and Meghan had fixed the scratches they all went back to den-night.
As the Pride rearranged themselves to go back to sleep Ron lifted his head.
"Hey, Fox. Want me to stand guard against the scary and evil balls of fur?"
Draco threw a shoe at him.
"Those squirrels were demonic and out to get me!"
"Both of you go to sleep!" Hermione snapped. They did so.
Ginny woke up just before morning to mumbling. The sources turned out to be two people: Ron and Draco.
Ron was turning his head from side to side. "No, spiders! I don't want to tap dance."
Draco was twitching. "Evil squirrels. Evil. Take the acorns."
Ginny rolled her eyes, whispered, "Oh, good lord!", got up to do something which involved a lot of scuffling noises, and then went back to sleep.
When the two boys woke up screaming the next morning, Ginny smirked. The origins of the stuffed squirrel and the plastic spider never was discovered, either…
THE END! For real this time…maybe. It really is the end unless I think of something else to add...