I couldn't help it, Letters deserved a sequel! Now listen to the roar of the ocean…wait…that's the sound of stampeding fangirls…and a few boys… RUN FOR YOUR LIVES:gets caught in swarm of rabid fans of all genders: HELP ME!
Dear Severus and Harry,
Sirius: Why are writing to that greasy git?
Remus: Sighs Because he and Harry are going to get married.
Sirius: But Harry's only fifteen!
Remus: And how old were we when we mated hmmm?
Sirius: Thirteen…but that was different! You weren't twenty years older than me and a greasy git!
Remus: No, I believe you once called me a 'boring bookworm with a stick rammed so far up my ass I couldn't walk straight if I was offered Wormtails weight in chocolate'.
Sirius: I didn't mean it!
Remus: If you don't start being nice I'm not going to have sex with you for a week.
Sirius: A WEEK! But he's and icky nasty smelly greasy git!
Remus: Two weeks, want to go for three?
Sirius: I'm sorry.
Remus: Repeat after me, Severus Snape.
Sirius: Severus Snape…
Remus: I am sincerely sorry…
Sirius: I am sincerely sorry…
Remus: for everything I have ever said that offended you…
Sirius: for everything I have ever said that offended you…
Remus: And any actions as well…
Sirius: And any bloody actions as well…
Remus: I congratulate you…
Sirius: I congratulate you…
Remus: And Harry, and I hope you have a splendid life.
Sirius: And Harry, and I hope you have a splendid life.
Remus: I, Sirius Black, have been a complete and utter git and will now happily jump off a bridge if it would please you.
Sirius: I'm not saying that…and we're not sending this.
Remus: Move your hand.
Sirius: No I don't think I…OWWW! YOU BIT ME!
Remus: I told you to move your hand. And we are sending this.
Sirius: Do you forgive me?
Remus: No, I said a week and I mean a week.
Sirius: I still can't believe you bit me.
"That was interesting…" Severus said when he finished reading the letter.
Harry just nodded, knowing that your parental figures are having sex is one thing, have them talk about it is something completely different.
:Crawls out from under pile of burning ruble: I am :coughcough: okay.