AN: This is just a bit of fluff fun based off a conversation I had with Parsindy on the Gateworld Sheppard whump thread. The second part will come soon, featuring Sheppard on crutches!

Edited: it took out my spacers, ack! So for anyone previously reading this, it might have seemed disjointed, sorry for that! I didn't preview the document like I should have.

Locked; Crushed

Sheppard could think of a lot of things he'd rather be doing. Like playing a game, reading a book, bugging McKay…well, one out of three wasn't too bad. "Rodney, I have to say, as much as I --" he saw Ronon make a face, "-- we enjoy," Sheppard amended, "sitting in this dark and abandoned storage closet, you can fix that door, right?"

Through the ghostly light given off by the flashlight that Teyla held steady for McKay, Sheppard saw him straighten, annoyance written clearly across his face.

"It's a door, Sheppard. I'm fairly certain it's within my capabilities." McKay looked thoughtfully at the wires he had pulled. "Maybe."

"I can help," Ronon offered, pulling his space blaster.

McKay's annoyance was quickly transformed into alarm. "Let me say it again, in Ronon speak…shooting door bad. Shooting door make room go boom."

Apparently McKay didn't get that Ronon liked making things go boom as much as Sheppard did, because at seeing the sudden gleam steal across Ronon's face, he rushed to add, "We go boom, too."

Teyla's mouth twitched. "I do not wish to go…boom."

"No one's going to go…boom," Sheppard interrupted, feeling silly for using the same word.

He fanned his jacket against his chest and tried to ignore how stuffy it was in here. They were in a storage room inside a science building, near as he could tell; at least that's what McKay seemed to think was likely. The main doors leading inside had been destroyed by whatever cataclysmic event had either killed these people, or made them leave, but the interior doors seemed to work just fine. They'd wandered in here, the lure of large crates promising possible finds (turns out they were empty), only for the door to shut behind them, locking them in. Speaking of crates…the dusty crate he was sitting on was hard under his butt, and as Sheppard kicked his feet back and forth against the wood, he decided in the future, when exploring alien buildings, they would make sure to leave at least two members outside of doors.

Being locked in was really a bad way to start the day.

"So, I spy with my little eye," Sheppard said, searching with his flashlight. "Something gray."

Teyla looked away from McKay's work. "I spy with my little eye?" she repeated uncertainly. "I do not believe I am familiar with this…saying."

"You don't want to be," McKay huffed. He swore and pulled a wire, yelping and shaking his hand. "God damn it!"

"I'd help you, Rodney, but it's not my area of expertise."

McKay stuffed the offended finger in his mouth and glared at Sheppard. "I never said you were incapable…what I said was 'leave the scientist work to scientists."

"And I have," Sheppard said. He made an exaggerated stare at his watch. "For the last five hours – but hey, let me know how that's working out for you."

"Colonel," Teyla interrupted. "Tell me about this I spy?"

Shepard considered pursuing his intentional needling of McKay, but Ronon was lifting a sleepy eyelid his way, and he wasn't going to get into that same argument, again. Teyla and Ronon didn't spend more time keeping him and McKay from bickering then actually fighting the wraith. "I spy is a kid's game, but, anyone can play. It's very portable." He kicked his feet against the box, fighting the urge to get up and help McKay. Whether or not he could actually do anything, at least he'd be doing. "One person picks something in the room, and then gives a clue. Everyone else has to guess what they are thinking about."

Ronon's eye slid shut. His back was against the same wall as Sheppard, but Ronon was on the floor, sitting with his knees to his chest, arms loosely folded across his knees. Sheppard had hopped onto the crate next to Ronon and sat, swinging his feet.

"Teyla, the light actually helps the most when it's shining on the area I need to see," snapped McKay.

Now it was Teyla's turn to glare. She adjusted the beam without a word.

"So, I spy something gray," Sheppard tried again. "And it's moving towards McKay…"

"What!"

OoO

Ten rounds of I spy later, Sheppard slid off said crate and began to pace. "Maybe it's time to make the door go boom, Rodney." They could hide behind the damn crates. Besides, it wasn't like McKay was sure that using Ronon's blaster would have that effect…and their automatic fire might be enough…

McKay shook his head and muttered angrily, "I've all ready said 'door goes boom, we go boom.'"

Sheppard inhaled deeply, striving to find that calm place…but apparently there wasn't one in this alien storage room, because he was failing miserably. "I want out of this box," he stressed.

"I am sure we all do," Teyla said calmly.

Ronon snorted from behind Sheppard.

Damn it. Nine hours and counting. Rolling his shoulders, Sheppard paced back to his crate and hopped back onto it. He almost offered again to help, but McKay was muttering things under his breath that he'd never heard the man say before, and that was never a good sign.

Sheppard sighed. "So," he said. "I'm thinking of an animal…"

OoO

"That is hardly fair." Teyla pushed the stray hair from her eyes. "You used many Earth animals."

"Did not," Sheppard said, indignant. He waved his head a little and drawled, "The wraith…"

"She got that one." Ronon stood up, limbs cracking. "And you did too."

"Do you mind?" snapped McKay.

OoO

Fifteen hours later, four rounds of Dust Tic-Tac Toe, and no rescue in sight for another nine hours (they'd be overdue then), Sheppard was going stir crazy. He didn't do penned up well. Not this kind, at least. No real danger, just ultimate boredom. And it was going to be embarrassing as hell if they had to wait for Lorne to show up and set them free from a closet.

McKay threw his hands up and turned away from the panel. "That's it. I'm officially pissed, and let it be known, I do not often get to this point."

"Give up?" Sheppard asked, peering around at the disgorged panel contents.

"Give up is such a relative term…" began McKay, and when Sheppard tilted his head, he pursed his lips together in disgust. "Fine, go -- kick it, fiddle with it, just don't…" he raised a finger, "shoot it."

Ronon pushed off from the wall and joined Sheppard at the panel. They stared at the mess of wires and Ronon leaned in, murmuring low so McKay wouldn't hear, "I say we blast it."

"That's what I was thinking."

OoO

When Sheppard woke up to Teyla leaning over him, he smelled smoke, felt pain, and thought, "Huh…McKay was right."

"Of course I was right," McKay gloated from somewhere…Sheppard's mind was processing everything in molasses time…the location of McKay's voice, the firm cool surface under his back, the sounds…son of a bitch!

"You're flying my ship!"

Teyla pushed Sheppard back down, but he got up enough to see McKay glaring at him through the open cockpit doors. "It's not your ship. It's…well, I don't know, but we have to share." McKay looked thoughtful. "I never was really good at that in preschool; the only bad grade I ever got."

"What happened?" Even as he asked, Sheppard knew he was going to regret it.

"It went boom." McKay had to suddenly pay attention to the controls as the HUD displayed itself and showed the flight path going sharply to the left. After McKay hurriedly corrected, he glared at Sheppard over his shoulder. "Cute, telling your pet ship to tattle on me. Teyla, can't you give him morphine or something?"

"He does not need it, Rodney."

Teyla moved away from Sheppard and that's when the rest of everything caught up.

"Yes, he does," grated Sheppard. At the alarmed looks from both McKay and Teyla, he added self-consciously, "Just a little…you know…to take the edge off."

Because his leg was hurting like hell, and his head… "Hey!" If he'd been unconscious, and his head hurt like this… "You can't give morphine to someone with a head injury!"

"Right," McKay drawled, but this time he kept his eyes on the screen. "And you shouldn't shoot booby trapped door controls. Seeing how you ignored that and almost got yourself killed, maybe a little morphine will do some good!"

"Ronon!" Sheppard struggled harder to get up, and Teyla practically growled at him.

"Stay down, Colonel. Ronon is behind you, nursing a similar head injury. You are both very fortunate the explosion was far weaker than Rodney believed it would be."

He could just barely see the hunched, dejected, and dust-covered Ronon resting near the rear of the Jumper. Sheppard gave up looking as soon as he saw enough to know Ronon was alive. So, aside from his headache, his leg…no, his foot…that's what hurt. "What happened to my foot?"

Teyla found something in the med-kit to stare at and McKay cleared his throat, acting as if their lives depended on his ability to stare out the view screen.

"McKay," Sheppard gritted. "The ceiling fell on it, part of the door, what?"

Exasperated, McKay glanced over his shoulder and said defensively, "It was dark!"

OoO

Carson pointed to the three toes on the scanner. "Broken, Colonel…they're actually a mess, I'm afraid, a crushing injury." He stared at Sheppard's bare foot, raised and propped on a pillow, most of it bruised and swollen already. "As much as I hate to be the bearer of bad news, this will not heal fast, nor easily."

"McKay did it," Ronon said, his voice gruff.

"Oh, thank you, Conan." McKay only said it because Ronon was confined to the bed over there, and not close enough to reach.

"Not likely," Carson assured them. "This kind of damage would need more weight than an accidental step would allow, especially considering the boots the colonel wears."

Teyla made a kind of cut-off noise.

Everyone looked at her.

Under the weight of the stares, she rubbed a hand over the back of her neck. "Yes, but if the colonel was not wearing his boots…"

Sheppard's attention rapidly shifted to McKay. "Rodney," he asked, his voice curiously calm. "Why did you take off my boots?"

McKay put on his 'I'm smart, so everything I do makes sense' face. "Because, Colonel, you were going into shock, and your boots fall under 'constricting items of clothing.' Really, it's basic medical care."

"If he had been going into shock." There was a winter like chill in Teyla's voice.

All things considered, it was a good thing that Carson had Sheppard on medication for the pain of a crushed foot, because McKay was in his reaching distance. Still, he tried to keep in mind that McKay had warned him that if they shot the panel, things would go 'boom'. Leaning towards the railing where McKay was hovering, Sheppard said, "I forgive you, McKay. But next time you think something is booby trapped, don't just tell me you think it's going to go 'boom', tell me why, otherwise, I'll just assume you're being melodramatic."

McKay had at first looked pleased, then he switched to annoyed, and then… "Melodramatic! I resent that…I am not melo --"

Carson clapped his hands together suddenly. "All right, then, Colonel, it's off to surgery for you…"

"Surgery!"

"Surgery?"

McKay and Sheppard both stared at Carson, one worried, the other appalled.

"Yes, surgery, shut your mouths before you drool, both of you," he scolded. Carson stepped aside to let the nurse in. She started messing with Sheppard's tubing and pulled out a hypodermic.

McKay paled and stepped back. "I…uh…" he patted Sheppard nervously on the shoulder. "Good luck."

"Those bones need to be fixed, Colonel, now be a big lad and it will be over before you know it. Six to eight weeks, possibly some crutches, you'll be good as new."

Ronon chuckled off to the side. "Better make sure those crutches come with a money return…promise…" He narrowed his eyes at his feet underneath the blanket, then he caught Teyla's amused look and said, "That was wrong, wasn't it?"

"Aye," Carson replied, smiling. "Money back guarantee. But that's all right, we get the idea."

"Funny," Sheppard said, sounding anything but amused.

As the drug began to make him sleepy, Teyla leaned in and murmured sweetly, "I spy with my little eye, a sleepy colonel…"

TBC