((This was a round robin by Cynlee and me. If anyone can tell apart our writing, we'll give you a nice pat on the head. Neither one of us has seen the Lost Season that is currently playing on COMCAST! But Cyn did read one of the synops, and apparently the Guys, after going with the Tribunal, meet up with Splinter and the Ancient One (YES!) again-- so here is something we've kicked around and back and forth--

Neither one of us owns TMNT-- otherwise, we'd be rich and famous and Fast Forward would be way better...

Rated for only one and one half tiny swear words cuz we couldn't let the gag die))

That night, as they sat around a fire, dinner finished (a rather skimpy, unsatisfying dinner in Mikey's opinion-- how he LONGED for an extra-large meat-eater's special original crust pizza with double cheese and a few cans of soda to wash it down with), the Turtles filled Splinter in on the things they had gone through from the time of their fight with the strange wooden warriors to Splinter and the Ancient One's arrival.

Mikey, throughout the storytelling, had been staring at this strange man-- so this was the man who had adopted Hamato Yoshi, who had changed Leo back from uber-Raph-like to his old self-- well, mostly his old self; Leo seemed "older" somehow, more so than he used to.

"Hey!" he suddenly shouted, an idea dawning across his illuminated face. "HEY! I just realized
something!"

"What, that you're a total dweeb?" Raph replied easily; Mikey ignored the snickers of his brothers.

"No! Listen! The Ancient Dude adopted Master Yoshi, right? Raised him like his son, right?"

"Yes, my son," Splinter nodded, wondering what was on the mind of his youngest.

"And-- YOU consider Master Yoshi as YOUR father, right Sensei?" he earnestly went on.

Splinter felt alarm bells going off deep in his brain; he carefully acknowledged this statement, however, tensing.

Mikey started bouncing up and down in his seated position.

"So see? That means that Ancient Dude is like our great-grandfather!" he triumphantly shouted, and grinned his widest at the startled elderly man.

"Grandpa! Can I call you 'Gramps'?"

The Ancient One blinked at the excited turtle beside him. "Gramps?" After all, English is a second language to him. "Should I be offended?"

Mike didn't pay heed to the question even as Splinter assured the master that his son meant no offense.

"I always wanted a grandpa!" Mike grabbed Raph's arm excitedly trying to get him to see the implications of having a grandparent. "Don't you see what this means!"

Raph pushed Mike away. "Touch me again and I toss you in the fire." He looked over to the aged ninja master. "What I wanna know is...how you whupped Leo's sorry butt back into shape. He's been kinda sketchy on the details, ya know?"

Leonardo looked up. He had been staring at the fire. The day's events and seeing the Ancient One again had put him into a reflective mood and he hadn't really been listening.

"I am sure," the Ancient One said slowly. "If Leonardo wishes you to know the details, he would tell you." He glanced to the turtle in question across from him. He had hoped that Leonardo had at least given his father the story of what had happened in Japan.

Raph snorted. "That's the problem. He don't want us to know how he got his shell kicked on a daily basis." He pointedly ignored Leo's glare.

"I think it would be a good lesson for all of us," Donatello spoke up. He had been quietly taking in everything up until now. But even he was curious as to what happened to Leonardo during his trip. His brother guarded the information like a state secret.

The Ancient One nodded. "Splinter-San, you should send these two next."

Meanwhile, Mikey's brain was racing with his many plans, questions, and ideas.

"Wow, a grandpa! So, Gramps, you gonna live with us? I can fix up that one room for you! Rocking chair, pipe, TV, sweater, box of cookies for your favorite grandson, and an extra bed for when I want to sleep over."

Now the Ancient One turned his attention to the highly animated turtle beside him.

"I have a home, thank-you!" he replied, looking rather insulted, "and I have no need of a rocking
chair."

But Mikey was not put out in the least.

"Even better! I can come to Japan and stay with you! Like summer vacation and holidays-- you celebrate Christmas, right? Ooh! My Christmas list! I gotta make it! And, of course, there's my birthday as well-- we don't have real birthdays, but it's real enough for me, July 7th-- OH! Can we go fishing?"

The Ancient One turned to Splinter.

"Do NOT send this one," he said. Then he looked at Leonardo. "What is the problem, Kumquat? You have been unusually quiet! Did you not tell them anything of your time in Japan?"

Leo started at the sound of the name; however, he had no chance to respond, for his brothers had just been given something special by the Ancient One.

"Kumquat?" Raph's snort burst from his mouth with much force. "Kumquat? He called you Kumquat?"

"Makes sense to me," Donnie laughed. "Kumquats are the kind of fruit that is sweet on the outside and sour on the inside-- and Leo was pretty darn 'sour' on the inside, wasn't he?"

"He was pretty darn sour on the outside as well!" Raph laughed loudly, and he and Don had a very good time, seated on either side of their brother, nudging him and laughing at him and teasing him, while Leo looked ready to demonstrate how he could take them both on at once.

"Hey, can I have a nickname, too?" Mikey pouted, inching closer to "Gramps". "That's so not fair if you give Leo a nickname and not the rest of us. That's favoritism!"

"You are right; it is!" The Ancient One sharply replied. But Mikey could not be put off.

"Please, Gramps?" he shot him the puppy dog eyes; this was important to him! "Pretty pretty please?"

Splinter made a move to interfere, but the Ancient One held up his hand.

"Very well, Shiitake," he replied, then was suddenly startled as the ecstatic young turtle latched onto him with a bone-cracking hug.

"Yes! Oh, thank-you, Gramps! You're the best grandfather in the whole wide world! I'm so happy!" He gushed, and he continued on in this vein for a few minutes, while the hapless old man, despite his abilities and powers, could not free himself from the grip of this poor, deluded turtle.

"Shiitake and Kumquat," Raph snickered, and he looked at Don. "Sounds like a salad!"

"Yeah," Don replied, struggling to keep it together. "And shiitake is perfect for Mikey. For short, we can call him 'shi--'"

"You will not!" Splinter interrupted forcefully, as he got up and bodily removed Michelangelo from the flustered Ancient One. Then he bowed in deep respect.

"My apologies, Ancient One," he said, eyes on the ground. "My sons do have good manners, but sometimes they can be a little too-- rambunctious."

And he glared at all of them with a sideways glance.

"No apologies are needed, Splinter-san," he replied-- keeping his distance from Michelangelo, who looked as if he wanted to get into "Gramp's" lap.

Splinter bowed again nudging Michelangelo around the fire to sit beside him instead of the harried ninja master. He knew it would not be worthwhile to lecture his young son on his manners. Michelangelo was too caught up in this new experience to pay much attention and in all honesty, he always hated to curb the turtle's enthusiasm.

"Mike," Donatello said as his brother settled in between him and Splinter. He was obviously still excited about this new pet name. "You DO realize that he called you a fungus."

"You're just jealous cuz I'm Gramps's favorite," Mike retorted looking over to his "grandfather", adoration practically shining in his eyes.

Raph shook his head. "Mike, you almost gave him a frickin heart attack jumpin' on him like that." He leaned across his brothers and dropped his voice to a whisper for Mike's ears only. "He don't look like his heart could take the strain, ya know?"

The Ancient One's face turned a bit red. "I heard that Young One! I assure you, I am perfectly healthy."

Raphael smirked. "Perfectly healthy for an 'Ancient One.'"

"Don't test him, Raphael," Leonardo murmured, concerned for his cocky brother's continued safety.

"No one asked you. Kumquat," Raph chuckled.

Before the argument could escalate, Mike looked up from where he had been digging in the dirt with a small stick. "Hey Donnie, what's thirty two times four?"

"One hundred twenty eight," Donatello replied almost instantly. "Why?" He studied his brother's scratching in the dirt and saw that he was doing math. "What are you doing?"

Mike smiled. "Well the way I figure it, we've had sixteen birthdays and sixteen Christmas's that Gramps has missed. I tossed in a few miscellaneous holidays for me, so, I figure that's…"

"Michelangelo," Splinter interrupted sternly.

"But grandparents ALWAYS buy their favorites extra presents, Sensei," Mike said excitedly. "And it's not like I'd expect them all at once."

"Forget it, Mike." Don scratched out his brother's figuring.

But once again, Michelangelo could not be deterred. He bounced to his feet and easily (almost effortlessly) dodged Splinter's hand that tried to snag him. He walked (skipped) back to the Ancient One making himself comfortable beside him again.

The Ancient One sighed and put one hand on Mike's leg. To Mike, it was an apparent gesture of affection from a grandparent to the favorite grandson. To everyone else, it was an apparent tactical move to keep the boy from trying to tackle him again.

"So, Kumquat," he began again. "I asked you if you had told your family anything about your stay in Japan?"

Leo ignored the snickering of his brothers at the most detested nickname again. "No, Sensei. Well, I told Master Splinter. My brothers, I do not think they are…ready to hear such lessons. They lack the…maturity."

Raph glared at Leo, hotly. "You tryin to say we aint as mature as you, Leo-San?"

Michelangelo, who had been sitting quietly and thoughtful this whole time, interrupted whatever Leo was going to say. "Hey, I think you need a wife. I need a gramma too."

The silence was only broken by the crackling of the fire.

Mikey looked at the staring faces; for some reason, they reminded him of wooden masks he had once seen in a TV documentary about the various tribes of Africa.

"What? It only stands to reason!" Mikey said.

" 'Reason' is hardly a word I expect YOU to use at the moment," Don finally managed. " 'Cause you've lost all of YOURS, bro!"

"No, see, a Gramma is perfect! She bakes cookies, especially the kind her favorite grandson likes; she makes cool meals, like sushi pizza, which is her favorite grandson's favorite dinner, she--"

"Michelangelo, come with me. Now!" Splinter, on his feet, towered over his seated son; the tone of voice was firm, but did not reveal his true feelings. The others could read those by the twitching of his whiskers, the sharp and agitated flicking of the tip of his tail.

"Sure, Sensei!" the clueless young son cheerfully stood up, then bowed deeply to the Ancient One. "I'll be right back, Gramps! Stay close to the fire, and keep warm! You're not as young as you used to be, you know!"

Splinter, bowing as well, led the way outside. Mikey followed, smiling, secure in the knowledge that his grandfather would be there when he returned, ready to welcome his loving grandson back.

"So, Ancient One," Raph began, when the sound of a sharp CRACK, followed by the startled and pained yelp of a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle abruptly interrupted him. After a snicker all around, Raph continued.

"So, Ancient One, Splinter says you're the best Sensei in the world, and judgin' from Leo's turnaround, I gotta agree-- though I still think Splinter is tops. Can you please show me some fightin' techniques?"

"All the time fighting," the Ancient One replied. "I heard about you-- 'fighting' is your middle name."

"No, Angry is his middle name," Don smirked. "Fighting is his life's blood."

"C'mon, Ancient One," Raph, eager to test himself against the Master who had whipped Leo into shape, was on his feet. "I'll even do it weaponless-- don't wanna have an unfair advantage, you know, what with you bein' all old and-- um, stuff." And he flashed a grin even as he handed his weapons to Leo and got into ready position.

"Seriously, Raphael, I would not do this if I were you," Leo warned him, low and earnestly.

"Thank you, Leonardo," The Ancient One bowed his head in acknowledgment of his pupil's recognition of his abilities.

"Yeah, I have to agree with him, Raph," Don added. "I mean, he has you on weight, but you're younger and well-muscled. It's rather an unfair advantage."

"Don, he handed Leo his tail on a daily basis!" Raph pointed out.

"Not 'daily'", Leo replied.

"Very well," The Ancient One replied, getting to his feet. "Kumquat, return his weapons to him."

"All right! This is gonna be great!" Raph gleefully celebrated, as he took back his weapons and began a few warm-up katas. "I'll try not to be too hard on ya."

"You are too kind."

Then the Master looked at Donatello.

"You too, Turtle Boy," he said, indicating that the brainy turtle join his brother. "Get your stick and join us."

Don, cringing at the hated term for his beloved Bo, was reluctant.

"Um, both of us? Are you sure that's such a good idea? Do you know the statistics for coronaries in men of your age and wei-- height?"

And Don proceeded to quote them all every single piece of information regarding such a topic.

The Ancient One, taking Don's bo, smacked him on the head.

"OW!"

"Is this how you fight? You talk your enemies to death? Take your stick and show an old, fat man what you can do!"

Leo suddenly smiled.

"Yeah, Don, show the Ancient One just how good you are with that stick," he smirked, knowing how his brother felt about that term.

"Bo," Don whispered fiercely to Leo; he didn't dare correct his elder when he called it that, but now the turtle was ready to demonstrate that he did not just "talk the enemy to death."

When Splinter reentered the room with a subdued Michelangelo, the sight that greeted him caused him to freeze: in the center of the room, well-away from the fire pit, Raphael and Donatello were fighting with the Ancient One, Leonardo playing the part of the
delighted audience.

"I just had to pick up four baby turtles and put them in a coffee can," he muttered.

Then a green blur passed him.

"HEY! NO FAIR! Two against one! I'll save you, Gramps!"

Splinter once again was not quite fast enough to snag the practically flying turtle. Michelangelo pulled his nunchucks from his belt and very nearly vaulting over the fire, leapt into the fray. All the while yelling his battle cry, "Hold on Gramps! Shiitake is comin!"

Meanwhile, Donatello would be the first to admit that despite the Ancient One's appearance, he was quite capable of kicking their tails. As he sparred with the sensei, he realized that the rotund ninja master was toying with them. He was talented at causing him and Raphael to get in each other's way. It was amazing how many times he went to strike at his opponent, only to be blocked by Raphael's sai before he clubbed his brother on the head.

Likewise, he had to defend himself against Raph's sai on more than one occasion before it skewered him. The Ancient One would cackle at the two, teasing them. "Come Boys, can you not tell this fat old man from your brother? I do not THINK I look like a turtle."

Raph growled and charged at the Ancient One again. If it was one thing he hated, it was to be taunted. A green blur intercepted him and, for a moment, he thought Don was in his way again.

"Back off Raphael! That's MY gramps! If anyone gets his shell kicked by him, it's gonna be ME!" Mike stood ready to fight.

The Ancient One took advantage of the invitation and tossed Michelangelo into Donatello. Both turtles went crashing to the ground and before they could recover, the Ancient One grabbed Don's bo and delivered the "killing blow" to their throats.

The sensei turned to Raphael. "So, Young One, it is just you against me now. Just as you wanted."

Raph frowned, his chest heaving from the workout. "You sure you aint ready to pass out? A man your...age...aint used to so much exercise."

"Then you should close your mouth and fight while I am still on this Earth, Pookie."

Barely able to ignore the laughter of his brothers, Raphael charged again. Two-point-four seconds, he was flat on his back, his own sai at his throat.

The Ancient One loomed over him. "You have more to say?"

Raph's eyes were closed and his shoulders shook. The Sensei blinked watching him. Was the boy crying? Could he have upset him so much? He glanced to Splinter and the other turtles.

"Raphael? Are you...alright?" Splinter asked worriedly. He did not think his son's ego so fragile.

Raph's eyes opened and he sat up, laughing. "DAMN, that was fun! I hope if I get old and fat, I'll fight like that too!" He got to his feet and bowed to the Ancient One, proving he did indeed have manners. "Arigato, Sensei. I was honored."

The Ancient One bowed in return and handed Raphael his sai. "The honor was mine, Young One."

Mike's eyes widened in jealousy and he bounded to his feet. "What about me? I wanna fight like you when I'm old and fat too!"

Raph sat back down by the fire. "Yer halfway there, Mikey."

"I'm not Fat," Mike retorted. "I'm big shelled." He turned to the Ancient One. "C'mon Gramps.

Give me another chance. I can suck like Raphael."

Raph started to get up, but Splinter put a restraining hand on his arm. "Michelangelo. Sit. Or we will go for another walk."

Mike pouted and sat down, moving over to make room for the Ancient One. The aged sensei sighed and reluctantly sat beside the excited turtle.

The rest of the evening was spent in the telling of tales, of joking and good-humored teasing, and Don and Raph got a glimpse of some of what Leo had lived with for that time-- namely, a wise and wonderful person who could deal it out sharp and hard, and yet was generous with his praise and his knowledge.

The Ancient One shared a few tales of Master Yoshi with them that their brother had already heard, yet Leo sat as wide-eyed and excited as the others hearing them again.

Then Splinter shared a few stories of their lives growing up, and the Ancient One shook his head, and sighed sometimes, and one time voiced his regret that he could not be of any help during that time, but it had been forbidden (which made Leo, Don, and Raph sit up and take notice, for their father and the Master shared a knowing nod and matching sighs after that statement-- he had known about them? He had been "forbidden" to help them? )

And, during all the talk, Mikey inched his way closer and closer to the Ancient One, slouching more and more in his posture, until without warning he was asleep, his head resting in the surprised lap of the Ancient One.

He was smiling in his sleep.

"I guess I should put 'lil' Shiit' to bed," Raph said, earning snorts of mirth from his brothers and a sudden whack on the head from the Ancient One-- HOW he reached him so quickly over such a distance without disturbing Mikey no one could say, but Leo and Splinter were the only ones not surprised.

"I believe it is time for all of us to go to bed," Splinter said, rising himself and going to his
youngest. "Leonardo, help me to shift your brother."

The others rose and bowed deeply to the Ancient One, wishing him a good night.

Mikey, standing on his sleepy feet, supported by Leo on one side and Splinter on the other, half-bowed.

"Good night, Gramps," he said, eyes closed.

The Ancient One chuckled in spite of himself.

"Good night, magomusuko," he replied, and they all went to the sleeping chambers provided for them.

Deep in the night, the stillness was suddenly ripped apart by a startled exclaimation.

"HE CALLED ME 'GRANDSON'!"

"Go to sleep, Shiitake!" Leo, Raph, and Don all shouted in reply.