Crackfic! Yeees! Oh, and the song I pictured Deidara is dancing to is My Humps by Black Eyed Peas. The duo song is You Spin Me Round by Dead or Alive. The Deidara-end dance is Sakura Saku Mirai Koi Yume from the Da Capo OST. The Itachi-end dance is I Like To Move It by Real 2 Real

Itachi Learns to Dance

It had been a considerable normal morning and afternoon in the underground location of the Akatsuki. All members were occupied with various activities. Itachi had been in his room, reading an obscenely large book on psychology, occasionally voicing his opinions on the book's contents aloud. Deidara had been in his room all day, working on who-knows-what. Kisame had gone fishing, ironically enough. Sasori had been reporting to the Leader about his and Deidara's latest mission. Zetsu had been napping.

Recently, Itachi had moved his reading to the couch, after shoving Zetsu off it. The cannibal didn't stir at all. Sasori still had not returned and Itachi was considering making some food for himself when a very loud sound had caused him to stand up in alarm.

Are we being attacked? Have the fangirls come? Oh, dear merciful God, not the fangirls!

The trumpets soon died down and was follwed by what sounded like slowed down beat boxing. Itachi, in a panic, mistook this sound for the beating down of the doors and ran into the nearest room to spare his virginity (He has Sharingan eyes, not ears). This was good for two reasons. Number one, it was Deidara's room. Number two, this was the location of the noise.

Deidara had somehow managed to smuggle a computer into the Headquarters. Aforementioned computer seemed to be playing a CD in English. Itachi, having learned English out of boredom, could catch every slurred-together word and was scarred by most of it. Even more scarring was the fact that Deidara, the drag-queen of the Akatsuki, was dancing. Itachi silently settled onto the futon near the door and watched.

His unusually well-defined hips swung to the beat and, despite having to watch his back, Itachi could see that the artist was enjoying himself. On the few occasions that Deidara did turn around to face Itachi, he could see that the uncovered eye was shut (presumably along with the covered one) and that his lips were moving in time with the song. Eventually, the cross-dresser got a bit more showy, flipping, twirling, and, at one point towards the end, gyrating in an impossibly sexy manner.

"How did Sasori never spill that you dance like a trollop?" Itachi asked loudly as the final beat faded into silence.

"GAH!" Deidara's eyes shot open and absorbed the Sharingan-wielder behind him. "Oh, it's you, un."

"You were expecting someone else? The other's are all occupied, you know."

"I wasn't expecting anyone, un." He seemed embarassed over being watched but quickly brightened at a new thought. "Hey, you dance, Itachi-kun?"

Itachi's face took on a disturbingly innocent guise as he pointed one immaculately polished nail at himself. "Me? Ahahaha, no."

"Have you even tried?" A stony silence was his answer. "Come on, I'll bet you'll love it, un!"

"I do not dance. Plan and simple."

"Neither does Kisame, but give him about 3 jugs of sake and he does the best riverdance I've ever seen in my life, un." At this point, Deidara had sat down next to Itachi, invading the other man's privacy by about 2 inches.

"I think I'd remember if Kisame did a riverdance."

"You wouldn't if you were just as drunk as he was, ranting about your youth." With all the first notice of a Summer storm, Deidara grabbed Itachi's hand, pulling him into a standing position. "It's easy, un."

"Riverdancing or ranting about my youth?"

The blonde chuckled. "Any kind of dancing is easy, un. I'll teach you, un."

Normally, Itachi would have protested a lot more, perhaps even threatened to kill him. But Itachi had noted two things; Number one was that Deidara was blocking the door and number two was that Deidara was holding his hand. Itachi sighed. "Fine, Deidara. Teach me to dance."

"Un!"

Several Hours Later

2 members of the Akatsuki stood outside Deidara's thudding door. "Think it's safe?"

"When the door thuds, that typically means dangerous happenings."

Kisame ran towards the small group looking rather pale. "Itachi isn't in his room." Sasori cursed and Zetsu tapped his foot against the floor. "I think we should break down the door."

"There's no need to do something that drastic!" Sasori's protest was too late, as Kisame and Zetsu were already ramming into the door with their broad shoulders. The door opened after the first hit and the trio stared in wonder at the inside.

Itachi and Deidara were gathered in front of a glowing computer. "Once more, Itachi, un?" Itachi's head inclined slightly. Deidara clicked on something, both men straightened up and began to dance around the large room. Itachi's thin shoulders moved back and forth, his expression was the pure picture of ecstasy. Deidara was a bit more active and moved his legs around. When the vocals began they interacted. Itachi and Deidara both went into spins, linked arms and spun around a few times like that. It didn't take Itachi more than one revolution to notice Kisame, Sasori and Zetsu. He froze like a rabbit in the prescence of wolves and sent Deidara spinning straight into a wall.

"... Itachi... I..."

"Didn't know... you... anou... "

Deidara sprang back onto his feet. "Itachi's a great dancer, un! He's an excellent lead too, un!"

Kisame came out of the trance. "But... He's... He's Itachi!"

The Sharingan narrowed. "And you are Kisame, the riverdancing fishman."

Aforementioned fishman paled. "How did you know about that?"

"Deidara."

Kisame turned to reprehend the crossdresser, but he had thrown himself into another song, something about flowers and love. Deidara seemed to be enjoying himself rather throughly, moving his entire upper body to the song while his feet twirled around on the carpeted floor. Kisame ran out of the room to retch. Itachi chuckled darkly before going to his room.

Itachi crossed the room and found a forgotten pile of CDs. He selected a random one, inserted it into a dusty stereo system and shook his hips to the music, unaware of being watched from the room next to his by a single eye.

TBC(?)

Continue? Yes/No?