Pals - Chapter Six

By Lily in a Pond

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Friends.

A/N - This chapter wraps up about three episodes in the first seasons of Friends, so this is actually relevant to the plot.

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It was a bright, sunny, September afternoon in London, England. The weather was perfect for a picnic in the park, a boating adventure, or even a hot-air balloon ride. There was a wonderful breeze sailing around and the air was sweet with the scent of flowers. However, Ron, Draco, and Harry were cooped up in the dark, dim room of the Leaky Cauldron, a bottle of Firewhiskey making its way 'round the table.

"So, Ron, why did you call us all to this emergency man-to-man meeting?" Harry asked, loosening his bottle green tie.

"Remember when we were in Hogwarts?" Ron asked. Harry and Draco nodded slowly.

"Remember Hermione?"

Once again, they nodded.

"Well, I kind of had a crush on her then."

"……NO! Wow, I did not know that," Harry said sarcastically.

Ron frowned. "I'm serious about this."

Draco rolled his eyes. "I still don't understand why - she was a bookworm, she had that horrible frizzy hair, and she was short!"

Harry's eyebrows furrowed. "What are you talking about? Hermione's still all those things"

"Yes, but the difference is that she now has curves, which makes the shortness excusable, which then makes the hair excusable, which then makes her little reading problem….not a problem!"

"Hermione was never short," said Ron defensively. "Five feet seven inches is not a short height."

"Unless you're comparing it to your height?" Harry asked.

"What did you think I was doing?" Draco asked. "Anyway, why did you call a meeting about this, Ron? Is something going on between you two?" he cooed, channeling Rita Skeeter.

"Well…I just wanted to ask you if you all don't like Blaise," Ron said, the tips of his ears flushing red.

'Jealous, now are we?" Draco smirked. "But, no, I don't hate Blaise, but I definitely dislike him. He's an annoying little prat, and more importantly, I lost a game of Hide-and-Seek to him when we were children."

"So what you're saying is that when you're being angelic and innocent, you lose?" Ron asked. "Well, that does provide a good explanation of why you're so evil now. How about you, Harry? You hate Zabini? Please tell me you hate him," he muttered, crossing his fingers.

Harry shrugged. "I have no reason to hate him; after all, I don't have a crush on Hermione," he teased.

"I don't have a crush on Hermione! I said I had a crush on her years ago!" Ron yelled.

Draco and Harry smirked in unison. "Now all of Muggle London knows that you luuuuurve her," they said at the same time. Ron rolled his eyes.

"I'm going to get a muffin," Harry said, standing up and taking his wallet out. "Anyone else want anything?"

"Actually, I want a blueberry scone - " Draco started to say.

"I was trying to be polite," Harry interrupted. "If you want to be an international model, Draco, stand up and walk over there to get your bleedin' muffin. Who knows, you might lose ten pounds while you're at it," he finished, smirking, as Draco immediately dashed to the counter. "And get me a raisin muffin!" he yelled.

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Ginny and Luna whistled appreciatively as Hermione stepped out of her bedroom wearing a revealing navy dress that clung tightly to her body.

"Where're you going, pretty lady?" Ginny teased.

Hermione blushed and crossed the room to the couch. "I'm going on a date with Blaise tonight," she said, picking up her purse, "and I want it to be absolutely perfect. I spent seventy-five galleons on this little blue number, and judging by your reactions, it was definitely worth it."

"Fifth date tonight, eh? Have you have the intercourse yet?" Harry joked.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Harry, your level of vulgarity always surprises me by getting higher and higher."

"Well, I am Harry Potter," he replied, smirking. "I am vulgar, obscene, and incredibly sexual."

Draco snorted into his pumpkin juice. "Cheers at the last one," he choked out, wiping his face off with a napkin Luna handed him. "No, really," he continued, "Harry isn't sexual in any way! You would think that being Harry Potter, the girls would be coming in flocks, but no, once he opens his mouth, they flock away! To me," he added as an afterthought.

"Aw, I'm sure there's someone out there who likes you," Ginny said comfortingly. Harry glared at her.

"Thanks," he said flatly. "So, will you marry me?"

"Ew, no," Ginny laughed. Harry threw up his hands in frustration.

Ding. Dong. Ding. Dong.

"OHMIGOD, IT'S BLAISE, HE'S HERE, HE'S HERE, HE'S HERE!" Hermione squealed, jumping up and down. "Quick, Ginny, open the door and tell him I'm be in here in a moment!" she yelled, sprinting back across the room in her high heels.

"After years of relationships, I still don't understand why girls do that," Ron said. "Why do they run off and hide in their rooms if they're already ready for the date?"

Luna sighed and flopped down next to Ron on the couch. "Picture this. You enter the room and see your date sitting at the table, reading a magazine. Clearly, she's ready for the date, and what's more important, it looks like she's been there for a long time, correct? Doesn't that seem a little desperate to you?"

"Yes," Harry and Draco replied at the same time as Ron said, "No."

The three stared at him. "Well, I guess this is why the only women that go out with you are lesbians," Draco said.

"To put it nicely, you're relationship retarded," Harry added.

Ron glared at them. "You two are mean, mean little boys."

"Hello, Blaise," Hermione said, leaning into the tall man for a kiss. "I'll see you later!" she called as she closed the door.

"Bye-bye, Hermione, have a good night!" Ron returned gaily. "Bastard!" he added vehemently as soon as she closed the door.

"Now, now, Ronniekins, there's no need to get overly jealous," Harry smirked. "It's only Hermione…"

Ron squinted at Harry. "Only Hermione?"

"Only Hermione," Harry repeated. "Unless...could it be possible ickle Ronniekins still has a crush on our short, frizzy-haired, bookworm?"

"…You are not tricking me into admitting anything," Ron retorted. "Anyway, I have to go now. Lavender and Parvati want me to go to the doctor's office with them," he blanched.

"I thought you already said you weren't homophobic." Ginny said.

Ron sighed. "I'm not homophobic, I just don't like seeing two of my exes find lesbian love in each other."

"That sounds pretty homophobic to me."

Ron glared at her. "Well, goodbye, Miss Active Participant in the Gay Parade," he growled and slammed the door rudely in Ginny's face.

"Well, with Ron and Hermione gone, all the fun's gone," Luna complained. Harry rolled his eyes, folded up his newspaper, and bounded up to the kitchen table.

"Enough about Ron and Hermione, you guys! What is up with you?"

"Well...my massage clients are starting to give me smaller tips," Luna said after an awkward pause.

Ginny nodded. "The patrons at Le Grand Fromage are doing that, too. Maybe people are getting paid less? Stocks dropping?"

"Negative," said Harry. "Stocks are actually going up, according to the data we have this month."

"Ah," Ginny said.

They all turned to look at Draco.

"What? I don't have anything to contribute to the discussion about your boring lives. I only have exciting things to share," Draco said mysteriously.

"Care to elaborate?" Luna asked.

Draco shrugged. "...Nope."

After a minute's pause, Draco snapped. "Alright, fine! I made eight hundred Galleons in three days of my job, and I got to sleep with the porn models! There were five of them," he said seriously.

Ginny cackled pervertedly. "So that's why you're looking so pleased in the mornings this week! You've been having a little bit of fun during the past nights!"

"You are so lucky," Harry said bitterly. "You're supposed to be the errand-boy and you snag five girls during the first three days of your job! Meanwhile, I'm a wall away from the charming girls in Marketing and they're all off-limits, division rules!"

"That really is sad, Harry," Ginny said, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Why don't you try someone from Law Enforcement?"

"No, they're too tough," Harry moaned as he sank into her arms. "I want a girl who'll hold me tight and NOT punch me at the same time!"

Draco patted his back. "Nice one, mate...great way to show the masculinity."

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At precisely two thirty-three in the afternoon, Hermione Granger sailed through the doors of the Leaky Cauldron clutching a bulky book and practically skipping as she bounced excitedly on the balls of her feet.

"Look, look, look! Look what Blaise sent me today at work!" she gushed, waving the aged book in front of Ginny, Harry, and Draco's eyes.

Ginny blinked. "…………It's a book."

"A very old book," Draco added.

Hermione was hopping up and down with excitement. "It's not just any book, it's the original copy of Machiavelli's The Prince! This book is nearly impossible to get! It used to belong in the Italian royal family until only a few years ago!"

"Well, this must've cost him a hefty sum," Harry commented, stroking the browned leather bindings. Hermione snatched it away from his fingers.

"No touching!" she snapped. "This book is like a baby to me," she cooed, holding it close to her body. "I will never let it be broken or ripped or damaged in any way, I swear! This book is my treasure!"

Draco's eyes followed Hermione rub, fondle, and hold the book against her chest. "I really, really, really want to be that book right now."

Ginny smacked him upside the head. "Pervert. Hey, Hermione, you want to read us an excerpt or something? We're all bored here."

"Don't you guys have jobs?" Hermione asked, checking her watch.

"…Well, it's two-thirty, nobody's eating lunch or dinner at the restaurant," Ginny reasoned.

"Yeah, and I'm an errand-boy. Sugar Cookie Gallworth's sandwich shouldn't be ready anytime soon," Draco said, visibly grimacing as he said the words 'Sugar Cookie.'

"And I……well, I've been playing hooky for three years, and I still get paid," Harry shrugged.

Hermione looked unconvinced. "Alright…"

"What about you? You're not at the Ministry," Draco said. "Ooh," he began, a flicker of humor rising in his eyes. "You've been a naughty, naughty girl, Hermione. Skipping work to go to a pub……why, you ought to be punished." He licked his lips.

Hermione stared at him. "You seem a little hornier than usual, Fang."

Draco hastily wiped off the drool that was slowly trickling down his chin. "Heh, sorry. The girl I had over last night was so bad - you wouldn't even believe she appears on Playwizard ads." He winked at the girls. "Gin, 'Mione, want to help me with my, ah, burden?" .

"No, you sex addict!" Ginny snapped.

Surprisingly, Hermione looked interested. "Well, that'd be alright since I'd be shagging two former Slytherins at the same time. Might as well throw Theodore Nott in and set a world record," she grinned.

"That's the spirit!" Draco cheered.

Hermione looked at her watch again and cursed softly. "Damn, I have to go now; Alicia Spinnet is going to chew my head off if she finds out that I skipped work to go to a pub," she said, reiterating Draco's words. "Ginny, don't forgot about our dinner plans with Luna!" she yelled as she stepped into the fireplace and Flooed away.

A f few minutes after Hermione disappeared, Luna Apparated right on top of the couch.

"You will never believe what just happened!" she yelled, throwing her bag on the floor and sitting down heavily on the orange couch.

"Did you get an ancient book, too?" Harry joked.

"No!" Luna retorted hotly. "Blaise Zabini just attempted to molest me!"

The three gasped.

"That's awful!" Ginny exclaimed. "Why would he do that to her? Oh, he is a dead man!" She cracked her knuckles, glaring into the distance.

"H - how did it happen?" Harry stammered. "Did he just - you know - grope you in the middle of the street? Did Hermione see?!"

"Ron is going to have a field day about this," Draco muttered, massaging his temples. "What happened?"

Ten minutes ago…

"Luna! Hello!" Blaise Zabini cheerily greeted her as he stepped into the airy room. "I'm here for my appointment."

"Oh, hi, Blaise," Luna replied, lighting some incense candles.

"Ooh, setting the mood, aren't we?" he laughed. Luna giggled.

"I guess you could say that. Alright, are you ready?"

Blaise threw his shirt in a corner. "Now I am."

Luna turned around to hide her squeal. Blaise's chest was so well-defined, with tight muscles and -

"Luna. We don't need a sex scene here," Draco said seriously. "Get on with the story."

"I'll start massaging you now," Luna said. She applied some pressure to her fingertips. "Does that feel good?"

Blaise smirked. "Oh, yeah…that feels good," he drawled. Luna raised her eyebrows at his tone of voice.

"Er…alright……so, Blaise, tell me about yourself - mother of pearl, what the hell are you doing?!" Luna shrieked as she felt a pair of hands caressing her bottom. She jumped away from him.

"You - you - leech! You're supposed to be dating Hermione!"

"So?" Blaise grinned, lifting the sheet up, exposing (rated R, folks...). Luna gulped and looked away, biting her lip.

"And then I slapped him and told him to get out," Luna finished.

Harry winced. "So I guess Hermione's not going out with Blaise anymore."

"I know he couldn't change," Draco growled. "That man-whore of a snake is still using his old tricks. Blaise is getting a pounding. A big one," he snarled vehemently, glaring at his coffee.

Ginny shook her head. "I just…I just don't understand. Blaise seemed like such a nice man. I - I never thought he would do a…a bastardly thing like that!"

Luna sighed. "But the most important question is, should we tell Hermione? I mean, we can just pretend like nothing ever happened and Hermione wouldn't be the wiser and no one would get hurt."

"Yes, but she'll find out eventually," Draco countered. "Blaise Zabini talks, and he has a lot of friends who also talk."

"That's true," Harry mused. "But then, are we sure she'll believe us? Maybe she'll think you're jealous or something, Luna."

Ginny shook her head. "No, we should just tell her. It's going to be really hard keeping this from her, and we can't just let Hermione keep on living her life without knowing her boyfriend hit on her best friend. And who knows, Blaise could do it again. We should nip this in the bud."

Harry and Draco nodded.

"Well, I suppose so. But I don't want to see the look on her face when I tell her. I know she's going to be so crushed," Luna said softly.

Draco sighed. "…I think we all are. This was the first relationship that Hermione's had ever since she left Ian at the altar, and it turned out like this." He sighed again. "Someone has to tell Ron…he's going to be rather excited about this."

"Why?" Luna asked curiosity.

"Ron had a huge crush on Hermione when we were at Hogwarts. I think those feelings came back when Hermione moved in," Ginny explained.

The door opened and Ron came in. "Hi," he said. "What are you guys sitting around here, cooped up on a Thursday afternoon?"

They slowly turned around to face him. "Ron…Blaise hit on Luna just now," Harry said quietly.

Ron was silent.

"You don't have to input your opinion about this," Ginny said, "but we'd like to tell Hermione together."

Ron nodded, still staring off into space. "…Yeah….we'll tell her…I can't believe that bastard did that to her."

The fire suddenly turned green and Hermione came bounding out. "Look, look, look! I unwrapped it and it had the sweetest note inside! It said - "

"Um, Hermione," Ginny said softly. "We have something to tell you."

Hermione looked startled. "Did Lamont die? Again? Because that would be very confusing, regarding the serious expressions on your faces - no offense, Ron." (Lamont was Ron's oversized Krup hybrid, resembling Crookshanks with its squashed-in face and slightly bowled legs. Lamont was a pale gray in color and quite large. They all hated Lamont; he shed fur everywhere, ripped Ginny's dresses to shreds, and was constantly impregnating random kitties on the streets.)

Ginny shook her head. "It's………it's about Blaise."

"Alright…"

"He……….he….he hasn't been faithful to you," Harry said quietly, looking down.

Luna nodded. "Today, he tried to grope me during his massage appointment. I'm - I'm so sorry, Hermione," Luna grasped Hermione's hand. Hermione shrugged.

"It - it doesn't matter. I mean, I got this really special book out of it and - and it was just a fling. Just a fling. Nothing special. It wasn't supposed to even last this long, anyway…" Hermione said, her voice sounding slightly choked. She sighed. "You know what, I'm just going to go home now. I'll see you guys later."

"Wait!" Ron said, jumping to his feet. "Hermione, you're too good for Blaise. I mean, you're smart and pretty and funny and you have a great personality! Blaise - Blaise is stupid and ugly - " Hermione rolled her eyes at that. " - and stupid and ignorant of feelings and stupid and careless and stupid and cocky and stupid and bigoted and just plain stupid! You deserve someone who can give you everything in the world…" he trailed off, blushing slightly.

Hermione smiled sadly. "Thank you, Ron. But I think I'm going to go home now. I - I need to be with myself for a little while."

As they watched her disappear through the fire, Ron sat down heavily on the couch. "Well - "

"I guess this ends one chapter of Hermione's life," Harry said.

"But another chapter is just beginning," Luna said.

Draco looked at Ron. "I have a feeling that chapter is going to be called Ron," he smiled. "Come on, go for her. It's the perfect time."

"Yeah, what could be more perfect?" Harry said. "She's depressed, you're going to cheer her up, she'll think of you as the perfect man in comparison to Blaise, and ka-ching, there you go! Bye-bye Blaise, hello Ron!"

Ron shook his head. "I don't like the idea of taking advantage of Hermione's current vulnerability. It just seems so…………wrong. If I want to be with Hermione……I want to be the real thing, not just some rebound romance."

Ginny nodded. "I think that's a very smart decision."

Draco stared incredulously at her. "Gin, that's the crappiest decision I've ever heard! If he goes to her tonight, he'll be solidified as the perfect boyfriend!"

"He won't."

"Oho, I think he will," Draco smirked.

"He won't!"

"He will!"

"He won't!"

"He will!"

"He - "

" - Is gone," Luna cut in.

Ginny and Draco looked at the empty spot where Ron had been sitting. "Oh."

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Ginny and Luna had canceled their dinner plans with Hermione, as she had plainly stated to them earlier that she did not felt like going anywhere. But Hermione had insisted that they go out anyway, without her.

"Are you going to be okay?" Luna asked worriedly.

"I'll be fine……I just need some alone time," Hermione said, trying to smile. "You guys go to that Italian restaurant, go and have fun eating tiramisu and fettucini."

"Are you sure?" Ginny asked, smoothing down Hermione's hair.

"Yeah, yeah, go! Have some fun! I'll be all right," Hermione said. As the girls gave her one last worried look and then left, Hermione sank down on the couch and buried her head in the pillows.

She wasn't sure when it happened, but she knew that sometime afterwards she had drifted off on the couch and someone had came in and placed a warm blanket gently over her. Though she couldn't see him, for some reason Hermione knew instinctively it was Ron and not Harry or Draco. She could smell the familiar soap he used, she felt his calloused hands, and she simply knew it was him. She sighed happily as he laid the blanket over her.

"Ron………you're such a good friend."

The door closed behind her moments later as Ron stepped out into the hallway. "Hermione..." he whispered to the stone wall. "You have no idea how much I love you."

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A/N - Thanks to my reviewers!

I am really sorry about the delay - I had actually finished writing the chapter and had submitted it to in August, but then school started and everything got complicated again. So, please take the time to make a comment if you noticed anything weird because I edited this very fast. (read: not at all :D)

- Lily in a Pond