Title: Dead Serious

Author: CosmicalMadison

Rating: T

Summary: Can Sam overcome her grief and guilt over possibly taking the life of one of her teammates or will she take the easy way out?

Pairings: SamCam friendship

Warnings: Major angst, mention of suicide, and one use of the h-word

A/N: Yay, I finally wrote it! I've been harboring this idea for a while now and I finally sat down and pounded it out. I hope you all like it as much as I do. Some people might be slightly out of character, but I did the best I could. Please enjoy and thanks for reading.

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It started like any other mission - didn't they all? - but went bad almost immediately. SG-1 had been sent through the gate to a new planet to do the typical meet-n-greet, and all had been going well when they were suddenly surrounded by enemy Jaffa. The warriors had killed their host, the leader of the village, first before turning on the team. None of them were hurt in the initial onslaught, and they had somehow managed to duck away and head back toward the Stargate. Once there, though, they had discovered that the Jaffa had already surrounded it. There was little SG-1 could do but try to take it back, so they had burst into the clearing, guns blazing. Half of their enemies fell right away, and all that was left then was to clean up the rest.

That was tougher than it sounded, though, as they soon found. The four members of the SG team found themselves tangled with a half dozen or more enemy warriors in front of the gate. Gunfire and staff blasts were all that could be heard.

In the chaos of battle, Sam looked around to account for her team and make sure they were all still all right. There was Teal'c, engaged hand-to-hand with a combatant, both having somehow lost their weapons. There was Cameron, dealing very efficiently with three men of his own. And Daniel was quickly making his way toward the DHD.

As she spotted the last member of the team, a Jaffa stepped between the two of them. She quickly took aim at the enemy and fired. The man dodged quickly out of the way and Sam watched in horrified slow motion as the bullet continued to fly toward the unsuspecting doctor. After what seemed like an eternity but she knew to be less than a second, the projectile connected with the middle of Daniel's back and he fell. Hard.

"NO!" Sam screamed as she ran toward him. Another warrior moved to block her way and she shot him down, running toward her friend with barely a thought to how open she was leaving herself. If Teal'c and Cameron had seem what had happened, hopefully they were able to cover her.

She dropped to her knees beside her fallen teammate. He'd landing on his stomach, exposing the huge bloody hole in his back left by the bullet. Mind unable to believe what she had just done, Sam's instincts took over, sending one hand to apply pressure to the wound to help slow the bleeding and the other to check his pulse. Weak, barely detectable. Not having taken a close look it at before, she didn't dare lift her hand to check the extensiveness of the wound. She already knew that it wasn't good. These guns were meant to kill, plain and simple.

Seconds later, the battle was all over and silence invaded the clearing. All she could hear now was the sound of Daniel's labored breathing and the rest of her team's boots crunching dry grass as they ran over. Then Cameron and Teal'c were kneeling beside her. The team leader quickly reached into a pocket and pulled out a thick bandage. As he handed it to Sam, he asked, "What happened?"

"I-I..." Her mind was racing so fast she couldn't even form a response. This was all her fault. How could she have done it? She should have known better than to fire in the direction of a teammate, even there was an enemy there.

"Sam!" Cameron demanded, sounding much harsher than usual in light of the situation. "Tell me what happened."

Knowing that she had to, Sam forced the words out. "I...shot him."

"You what?" Cameron asked incredulously, thinking he had heard her wrong. "Who shot him?"

"I did," Sam answered softly, barely above a whisper. Tears came to her eyes as she felt her friend's warm blood seep between her fingers as she pressed the bandage to his back. "A Jaffa came up between us, I shot at him and he-he moved and the bullet hit Daniel instead."

As she broke into sobs, Cameron squeezed her shoulder for a second. "Easy, Sam. Calm down. Here, move over for a second."

She moved, and he took the bandage from her. Looking up at the fourth member of his team, the Colonel ordered, "Teal'c, dial the gate and step on it!"

Wordlessly, the big man stood and ran off to do what he was told.

Sam just sat there, staring at the red liquid covering her hand. All she could think was, I did this. I did this.

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When the four emerged from the Stargate into the SGC moments later, there was already a medical team waiting for them. Cameron and Teal'c, carrying the wounded Daniel, immediately ran down the ramp to place him on the gurney. No sooner had his body connected with it, then the accompanying medical staff were already racing it down the hall toward the infirmary.

Before they could follow, the rest of SG-1 was stopped by General Landry. "What happened out there?" he demanded.

"Friendly fire, sir," Cameron answered for them. "An accident."

"It was me, sir," Sam burst out. "I shot Daniel."

The General turned to her and upon seeing her tear-streaked face and bloodied hand seemed at a loss for words.

Cameron interrupted by looking pointedly at the door where he had last seen his teammate and asking, "With your permission, sir?"

"Granted. But I want to see you all later." He gave Sam a questioning look before waving them toward the door.

"Yes, sir," Cameron threw over his shoulder as the three hurried out the door.

When they reached the infirmary the only word to describe the scene was chaos. Doctors and nurses scurried around the room like chickens with their heads cut off and all they could see of Daniel was a mass of IVs and wires surrounding the bed between the people crowded around him.

Upon spotting them in the doorway, Dr. Carolyn Lam quickly walked over. "You three shouldn't be here," she said.

"Please," Sam pleaded, "how is he? Is he going to be all right?"

Dr. Lam shook her head. "I don't know. We're trying to stabilize him, but for the moment it doesn't look good." She glanced over her shoulder when a nurse called her name before telling them, "I have to get back. I'll call you when he's stable." She went back, leaving them standing there.

"What are we to do now?" Teal'c questioned.

"I don't know," Cameron answered, eyes on the injured member of their team. "Put our gear away, I guess."

As Sam followed the two men to the locker rooms she felt chilled to the bone. How could she have done this? How? She and Daniel had been best friends for nine years and then she had practically killed him. She could barely stand to think it, but if he died...how would she ever live with herself?

Cameron must have heard or sensed her renewed tears, because he turned to look at her. Dropping back so they were walking side by side, he slipped a comforting arm around her shoulders. "You know Sam, this isn't you're fault. You could never-"

She shook her head vehemently. "You can't say that. If I had just thought-"

"Don't say that. There was no way you could have known-"

"That's not true!" As they reached their destination she pulled away from him. "Daniel could die and it's because I shot him! How is that not my fault?" Holding back a sob, she turned and ran into the women's locker room.

"Oh, boy," was all Cameron said as he watched her leave.

"I believe Colonel Carter feels much guilt over what happened to Daniel Jackson," Teal'c stated.

"You think?" Cameron sighed. "I hope he gets better, for both their sakes."

"As do I." With that, the two turned and headed in to discard their gear.

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The phone in the men's locker room rang and Cameron watched Teal'c answer it as he pulled a shirt over his head. "Teal'c," he identified himself, then paused for a moment, listening to the person on the other end of the line. "That is good news. We will be there shortly." He hung up the receiver and turned to his teammate.

"Dr. Lam?"

"Indeed. She says the doctors are done working on Daniel Jackson and that we should go to the infirmary at this time."

"Great. Let's get Sam and head back over there."

The two walked out of the room and seeing that she wasn't waiting for them, Cameron moved to knock on the door. "Sam, you in there? Dr. Lam says we can go back and see Daniel now." No response.

"Perhaps she has already returned to the infirmary," Teal'c suggested.

"Yeah, maybe. Let's go."

Minutes later, they reached the infirmary to find that the only two there were Daniel, lying in his bed, and Dr. Lam standing beside him. Moving toward her, Cameron asked, "Any news?"

"We were able to stabilize him," she answered looking up him from her patient. "He lost a lot of blood and there was damage to several major internal organs including his heart and lungs, but he has improved remarkably since you first brought him in."

"So he's going to make it?" Cameron asked hopefully.

"We're not out of the woods yet, but it's looking better every minute."

"That's great news."

"Hey, where's Colonel Carter?" the doctor asked, noticing her absence for the first time.

"We believed she may have arrived here before us," Teal'c answered.

"I haven't seen or talked to her. You should probably find her and tell her about Daniel. She looked pretty upset earlier, and I'm guessing this will help a lot."

"Yeah, I hope so," Cameron said. "Teal'c, if you want to stay here I'll go and look for her."

The big man nodded and Cameron took one last look at Daniel before heading off. Seeing that Sam wasn't in the locker room or infirmary, he deduced that the next best place to look was probably her lab. He set off across the base and reached it a few minutes later. "Sam?" he called as he stepped inside, again getting no response. He looked around and, seeing that she wasn't there, scratched his head. Where could she be? Commissary? No, of course not; she wouldn't be thinking about food at a time like this. The only thing he could think of was that maybe she was still in the locker room and hadn't heard him call earlier.

A few more minutes of walking brought him to where he had stood before. Cameron rapped on the door and shouted, "Sam, are you in there?" He hesitantly reached for the doorknob, thinking that these doors were thick and if she was agonizing about what had happened to Daniel maybe she was too absorbed in her own thoughts to hear him. Feeling decidedly weird and hoping desperately that no one was in there, he opened it a crack and poked his head in. What he saw set off all the red flags he had ever had in his head. "Sam! What the hell are you doing?"

Sitting on a bench on the far side of the room was his missing teammate, silent tears running down her face - and a handgun pressed against her forehead. Her sobs grew louder but she didn't answer him, didn't even look up.

He took a slow step forward, being careful not to spook her into pulling the trigger. Just what they needed was for Daniel to be getting better and Sam to kill herself out of grief because she didn't know it. "Sam," he asked again, gently this time, "what do you think you're doing?"

Again she didn't answer, but looked up at him with haunted eyes that twisted his heart. "Please leave," she said, and he barely recognized her voice. "I don't want you to have to see this."

"You've got to be kidding!" he exclaimed, then reminded himself, Calm down, don't spook her. Easy, easy. "You're not serious about this. You know you won't do it."

"I'm dead serious about this, Cameron!" she screamed. "And I will do it!"

"Okay, calm down," he said soothingly. "Let's talk about this."

She pressed the gun harder against her forehead. "I don't want to talk about it. Daniel is going to die and it's all my fault. I was stupid. I didn't think about what I was doing and I killed him."

Cameron shook his head as he took another step closer. "That's not true," he insisted. "You did what you had to do to protect yourself. You didn't mean for this to happen. Stop talking like that, okay? Blaming yourself isn't going to make him any better. And besides, I just came from talking with Dr. Lam. She says Daniel is getting better. He's improved a lot even since we brought him in."

"You're lying. You're telling me that so I'll feel better."

He inched closer still and she hadn't seemed to notice yet. "I would never lie to you, Sam. We're on a team; we tell each other the truth." He reached out his hand. "Come with me and you can talk to the doctor for yourself."

"No." But the hand she had wrapped around the gun was starting to tremble. She was doubting this course of action.

Cameron had to work fast, in case she changed her mind. "Trust me, Sam. I'm your friend; that's what friends do." He took a deep breath and moved the last few steps until he was standing in front of her.

She eyed him warily. "I still don't know if I believe you."

As a last ditch effort, Cameron said, as he sat down beside her, "How about this? You come with me now and talk to Dr. Lam. See Daniel for yourself. If you don't like what you hear, I'll let you come right back here with your gun. I won't interfere. That's a promise." Of course he wouldn't really do that, but he had to convince her somehow. He reached toward her slowly. "Now, please, just put the gun down."

She sat for a minute, as if debating whether to trust him or not, and Cameron was never as relieved as when her hand fell and she dropped the gun to the floor. To be safe, he kicked the weapon lightly and it skidded out of reach. A second later Sam began sobbing again and as she collapsed against him, he caught her in his arms.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered through her tears. "I don't know what I was thinking..."

"Shh," Cameron answered, gently stroking her hair. "It's all right now. You're safe. You and Daniel are both going to be fine."

A shiver ran through Sam as she pulled away from him. "I can't believe I was actually going to kill myself."

Cameron smiled at her, trying not to show how shaky he was after narrowly avoiding that very outcome. "I don't think you would have."

She looked at him seriously. "I don't know. If it weren't for you coming in just then..."

"Hey, let's not think about that now," he said. "I know there's someone in the infirmary you want to see."

"Yes, of course." She stood up and reached for the gun.

"Ah, I'm not so sure about that," Cameron said, scooping it up before she could get it.

"You don't really think I-" He grinned and she glared at him. "Oh, I get it. You're teasing me."

"That's right." He handed the gun to her and she put it in her locker.

As the two headed for the door, Sam turned to him and said, "Wait. You're not going to tell anyone about this, are you?"

"Gee, I don't know, Sam. I think-"

She cut him off. "As a friend," she said, and he cursed inwardly when he realized she was repeating his words from just a few moments ago, "I think you owe me that much. You know it won't happen again."

"All right. But now you know in the future I'll have something to blackmail you with."

She swiped at him playfully, the awful tension that had filled the room just minutes before now totally gone, and the two shared a laugh as they headed off toward the infirmary.

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When they arrived, Sam immediately raced over to Daniel's bed where Dr. Lam and Teal'c still stood. "I found her," Cameron announced as he joined then.

"That's good," Dr. Lam said as looked at Sam. "How are you doing?"

"Much better," the Colonel replied truthfully as she shared a private smile with Cameron. "How's Daniel?"

"Also much better," the doctor replied. "His internal bleeding has mostly stopped and we've been able to drain most of it away so it won't cause further problems. The damage to his lungs and heart is minor, much less than we first thought. It'll take him a while to recover, but he should eventually be fine."

"That's wonderful," Sam said. As tears of relief filled her eyes, Cameron once again wrapped an arm around her.

"See? Everything's going to be fine."

"Thank you," she whispered to him. "For everything."

The End

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A/N: So I hope you all liked it. Drop me a review and tell me what you think. And even if you don't, thanks so much for taking the time to read my story.