Author's Note: Welcome to another Sasuke and Naruto one-shot. This one was by request from flame gazer because she begged me, and I can't let it go unnoticed. So this is sort of dedicated to her. Okay, it is, because she's an awesome reviewer. :P Same notes pretty much as the first story. Inspired by Blue Collar, and all that good stuff. And plus, they don't have Thanksgiving so I changed it to "Family Gatherings".
Warning: Shonen-ai, OOCness, crack, suggestive themes.
Notes: I changed some things to fit the story, as I did the first one. Couplings are Sasuke x Naruto, Kakashi x Iruka, Lee x Sakura, Kiba x Hinata.
FFN Note: If you're having trouble putting that little breaker line in your story (and I know a few of your have), just go to a story that has the line (like this one), copy and paste it on the editing page. That's what I've been doing. It works! Trust me. O.o Note the Second: Edited. Didn't get to when I posted it because FFN was screwed up. Now it's edited so it doesn't appear like a newbie wrote it.
Disclaimer: Naruto © Masashi Kishimoto; Jokes/Themes belong to Bill Engvall, Ron White, Jeff Foxworthy, Larry the Cable Guy, and the other oddball characters from Blue Collar TV.
They Told Us Something Once
by Mint Pizza Queen
So much for watching the show. Once again, Sasuke and Naruto found themselves being dragged along in the most absurd conversations, and even found themselves making them on their own. Didn't Sasuke vow that he wouldn't do anything stupid ever again?
Sort of hard with a certain blond kitsune dragging him around the village and beyond.
They told us something once about some girl named Lucy.
"Okay, you three," Tsunade clasped her hands together with an eager smile on her face. "Remember that transfer student I was telling you about last week?"
"The one that was your apprentice a year ago?" Sakura questioned.
"Yes, that one. Well, she's here today and I'm assigning her to your group for a month to get the hang of what missions around here are like." With that, Tsunade motioned for the girl to enter.
Sasuke held in the deepest desire to start laughing.
Liquid paper white skin, black hair, black eyeliner, black lipstick and nail polish, she looked liked a child who forgot that Halloween was still half a year away.
Naruto grinned, oblivious to Sasuke's predicament. "Hey! My name's Uzumaki Naruto, what's yours?"
"Her name is Lucy," Tsunade announced proudly.
Sakura held out a hand and shook Lucy's. "Pleased to meet you!"
Sasuke shoved his hands in his pockets. "Hello Lucy--" he paused. "--fer?"
Naruto whirled his head, staring in shock at Sasuke. He then keeled over, laughing.
Sakura gaped at Sasuke before chuckling as well. "Jeese, Sasuke! You've been hanging with Naruto too long!"
When Sasuke turned back to the girl, she was giving a look that said 'I'm going to set you ablaze right now.'
It was better than saying 'I'm sorry, but wasn't Halloween six months ago?' wasn't it?
They asked us something once about using words and not our fists.
Konohamaru was pissed. Really pissed. Some stupid ass kid stole his favorite cape and headgear and was parading around proudly with it. So, as an act of revenge, the young boy got his trusty baseball bat that Naruto-nii-san's friend gave him (Sasuke was it?) and chased him around the village with it.
Unfortunately, one of the blonde's friend's caught him and the snot nosed kid. Fortunately though, it was Sasuke (the dude who gave him the bat! Hurrah!), and at that moment he was heading to the ramen stand to meet up with the blond shinobi. So, Sasuke dragged the two of them to the stand to see what Naruto would think of the situation.
Naruto was, in simple terms, amused and annoyed.
"Konohamaru, what do you do when people take your stuff?"
The boy thought for a minute, eying the bat that Sasuke was holding. Sasuke, aware of the gaze, hid it behind his back. The young boy then looked over to the snotty kid, who then proceeded to stick his tongue out and laugh at him.
Konohamaru sniffed. "I was going to say ask for it back, but with his case I'd rather beat him for it back."
Sasuke shook his head. "No, you ask one of us to get it back if you can't on your own."
The thief began to laugh with a nasal snort. "HAHA! Like any of you could get anything back from me!"
Konohamaru fumed. Naruto glared. Sasuke held the bat out to Konohamaru.
"Beat him to a pulp."
"Yes sir!" Konohamaru swung back the bat, grinning wickedly.
The thief gulped and closed his eyes, pissing his pants in fright.
They told us something once about drawing on people's legs.
It was a hot summer day, and several people were getting ready to go to the beach for a nice day of cooling off and relaxation. Sasuke, Kakashi, Lee, Iruka, and Naruto were seated at the table in the Uchiha manor, waiting for Tsunade and Sakura to finish changing into their bathing suits so they could head out.
Sasuke was drinking a glass of milk as he waited, staring at nothing in particular. Just as he raised it to sip it, the two women entered.
Lee clapped. "It looks really good on you, Sakura-chan! It brings out your eyes!"
Naruto had other thoughts. "Tsunade-baa-chan! You shouldn't draw on your legs with a blue magic marker!"
Needless to say, Sasuke had to mop up the milk he had been drinking, cause it flew through his nose as he tried to stop laughing from the comment the blond had exclaimed.
Kakashi found the comment and the flying milk to be absolutely hilarious. Iruka was mortified. Tsunade, well--
--she broke almost every chair in the kitchen on the blond shinobi's head.
They told us something once about wiener thieves.
"Naruto-nii-san, something is wrong with him!" Konohamaru was in a panic.
The blond looked up from his bowl of ramen, perplexed. Sasuke attempted to ignore them and continue with his meal. "What's wrong with who?"
"My friend's little brother! Someone told him something and now he's acting really weird!" He then dragged up a little kid that appeared no more than five years old. "Tell nii-san! It's okay! He'll help!"
Sasuke turned to see what could be wrong and raised an eyebrow at what the kid was doing. The little kid had his hands down the front of his pants, with a panicked look on his face. He looked over to see what Naruto was doing and saw the blond staring with an emotionless expression.
The kid frowned and looked on the verge of tears.
Naruto coughed, shaking his head. "Erm, uh, what seems to be the problem?" He choked out, attempting to not laugh. Sasuke scowled at him. Couldn't he see that something was incredibly wrong with the kid that caused him to resort to protecting his precious property?
"Go ahead, you can tell him! He'll help!" Konohamaru encouraged.
The kid gulped. "Someone…told me that…there was…" he had a shifty gaze. He then leaned in towards Naruto and whispered in his ear. Sasuke leaned in slightly to hear, but it was too soft to catch.
The look on Naruto's face was priceless. He turned around and covered his mouth in an attempt to hold in whatever was causing his face to turn extremely red and cheeks to start bulging. "What? What is it?"
Naruto leaned over to Sasuke and pointed to the kid. "He said that someone said that there was a wiener thief going around, stealing them from little kids."
"Outrageous!" Sasuke barked out, causing all three to jump. He turned around and patted the kid on the head. "There is no one that is going to steal your um…property. So don't worry about it."
The kid blinked up, eyes welled up with relief. "Really?"
"Trust me kid, it's got a long shelf life." Sasuke nodded. Then paused. "Just as long as you don't piss off any women who wield butcher knives, you'll be fine."
The kid grinned. "Okay! Thank you!" He then ran off, hands out of his pants. Konohamaru chased after him.
Sasuke returned to his meal, but not before catching the look Naruto was giving him. "What?"
"Long shelf life?"
"Shut up." Sasuke threw a chunk of carrot at Naruto.
They told us something once about putting bells on little kids.
Why Sasuke allowed Naruto to invite Konohamaru over to the Uchiha household was beyond him. He ended setting up two futons on the floor for the two, and took claim to the couch (seeing as how it was his in the first place, he got dibs on it). The other two didn't complain, they made it into a sort of camp out, which suited Sasuke just fine, except for the part where they attempted to make a campfire in the middle of his living room, and then he had to put his foot down (as well as put the torch they had lit out).
So now, here he laid in a somewhat peaceful slumber, but something just felt amiss. It felt like something or someone was watching him, which sent cold chills up his spine. He pulled the blanket up to his chin, hoping that it was just maybe a cold chill or something similar, and that he wasn't, in fact, being watched.
The feeling didn't pass.
Finally, he heard someone calling out to him.
"Sasuke…"
He snorted in his slumber. Stupid voices.
"Sasuke…" was the whisper that reached his ears.
His nose twitched.
"Sasuke…" the voice was more firmer.
Sasuke shot up, surprised. "WHAT? WHAT!"
Konohamaru promptly burst into tears, and trembled. Naruto rose from the futon, blinking and rubbing his sleep lidded eyes. He saw the commotion and glared at Sasuke. "Oh look what you did, you scared him!"
"Damnit, Naruto, he scared me!" Sasuke sat up, rubbing at his face. "Put a bell on him or something, jeese!"
Naruto patted on Konohamaru's shoulder. "What's wrong?"
"I needed to go to the bathroom! I didn't know where it was and you wouldn't wake up Naruto-nii-san! So I tried to wake him up but he scared me!"
Sasuke pointed to the dark hallway. "Down there, third door on the right."
The young boy sniffed. "The odd thing is, I don't have to go anymore."
There was a deafening pause, which was soon followed by Naruto announcing, "I got the bucket and scrubber."
They told us something once about resolving not to wear women's underwear.
"If you would change something about the way you are, what would you change?" Sasuke idly sipped his tea, staring contemplatively at Kakashi and Naruto.
Kakashi shrugged. "I don't know, really. I've never thought about it."
Naruto slurped up his ramen. "The only thing I could think of would be to become Hokage. But I'm already going to do that."
Sasuke drew his finger on the rim of his cup. "No resolves?"
Naruto pondered. Then grinned deviously. "Actually, I do."
"Do tell."
"I resolve," he began. "To stop wearing women's underwear!"
Sasuke scooted his stool towards Kakashi.
"Well," Kakashi said, eye upturned in a happy arc with a devious hint to his tone. "Since you're so curious, I do have a resolve of my own…"
"What?" Both students asked eagerly.
"I resolve to start wearing underwear!"
Sasuke picked up his stool and carried it to the other side of the counter.
They told us something once about grossing out as much as possible.
"Your student is a little sicko."
Jiraiya looked up from his notes and raised an eyebrow at the dark-haired boy that was scowling at him. "Huh?"
"I said that your former student is a little sicko."
This got Jiraiya's attention. If it got Sasuke saying something like that, then whatever the blond did must've been good--erm--really interesting. "What did he do this time?"
"It's what he started, the little baka." Sasuke seated himself beside the man and glared. "At the start of our relationship and living together, he's been pretty good. Now he's doing things just to gross me out."
'That's my boy!' Jiraiya mentally cheered. "What sort of things?"
Sasuke made a disgusted face. "Well, the other day I was doing the laundry. I was going through the clothes, sorting them out, when I stumbled across a pair of his underwear--" His face went green.
"How bad?"
"It looked like he hit a freaking deer!" Sasuke threw his arms up in the air and wind milled them. "When we first got together, they were almost always clean! I swear he's doing it now just to get me to scream 'OH MY GOD!' And I did too!"
Jiraiya barked while laughing. "Just think, it's only been…three weeks since you had him move in with you, right? Imagine how it's going to be three years down the road!"
Sasuke groaned, dropping his head onto the table. All the while, that damn man just wouldn't stop laughing.
They told us something once about having no problem with going to prison.
Naruto wiped a tear of joy from his eye. He then rested his head on Sasuke's shoulder and felt an arm wrap around his waist and tug him close. "She's growing up, Sasuke."
Kakashi wiped a tear from his eye too. "Our girl is all grown up, boys."
The Uchiha sweat dropped, glaring at the two men. "Would you stop? You make it sound like we were her parents."
"Well, you were her protectors." Kakashi nodded acknowledging. Naruto grinned, nodding vigorously too.
Sasuke rolled his eyes.
Sakura walked over, arm around Lee's waist and Lee's arm tugging her close. "I'm glad you guys came over!"
Naruto smiled cheekily. "Wouldn't miss your engagement party for nothing, Sakura-chan!"
Kakashi patted her on the head, happily. Several other shinobi walked up and were talking too.
Sasuke turned to Naruto and signaled for him to wait in that spot. Naruto gave him a quizzical look, watching at Sasuke walked over, nabbing Lee.
"I'll return him in a minute," He assured Sakura, who frowned slightly.
Dragging Lee over to Naruto, Sasuke turned him and slung an arm across his shoulder. "You know Lee, you're a good man, yes. I know you wouldn't do another to hurt her, but here's a few things I want to tell you. She's our best friend, she's like our sister, so if you have any thoughts about hugging, or kissing, you remember these words: I won't have a problem going to prison." Sasuke smiled sickly sweet at the man.
Naruto bopped Sasuke on the back of the head. "Give 'em a break, Sasuke! Who's protective of them now?"
Sasuke rubbed his head. "Okay, you can hug and kiss her! But nothing else, got it? Not until you're married!"
Naruto beamed as Sasuke shooed Lee back to Sakura. "Really, Sasuke. You do act like a parent to her."
"Shut up. I have my own problems with dealing with you." Sasuke scowled, watching as Lee pressed a quick kiss to Sakura's cheek, and saluted back to Sasuke.
They asked us something once about why we hate family gatherings.
Naruto grinned nervously. Sakura gritted her teeth in a forced smile.
Sasuke poked the peas on his plate, keeping his mouth shut and decided to mentally debate on whether that gray substance was mashed potatoes or pudding.
"It's corn, dear." Sakura's mother assured him.
He stared at her bugg eyed. 'Damn psychic woman.'
"And I'm not psychic, I just know what goes through your heads." She smiled, taking a scoop of corn and eating it.
'Isn't that called being psychic? Or a mind reader or something?'
Yup, folks, it was a family gathering. Sakura's parents had seemingly 'convinced' Naruto and Sasuke to come over for a holiday dinner, and the two boys were seated to the dad's right, Sakura and the mom on the opposite side of the table. Naruto and Sakura kept exchanging nervous looks until finally the dad broke the tension…kind of.
"So, how have you three been exactly? Sakura doesn't tell us much about your days out of the academy." He took a drink from the glass, intertwined his fingers and rested his chin on them.
Sasuke could feel Naruto tense up beside him. Sakura spoke for them.
"Well, we've had a lot of missions. We'll be taking the big test in a couple of weeks to see who'll become chuunins."
"You two will be taking it, too, eh?" He eyed them. Naruto nodded vigorously and Sasuke nodded quite the opposite: slowly.
"Ah," He nodded. "What other careers do you have?"
There was a silence.
"Eh?"
"Do you work other jobs, you know, other than being--ninja missionaries, you could say?"
Sasuke flushed. "Eh, well, not really. We help a lot around the village, cleaning up gardens and stuff like that."
'I want to go home right now. I want to go home right now.' Sasuke looked over to Naruto who looked about ready to pass out. 'I wonder what's running through his mind right now.'
In Naruto's Mind:
'There's no place like home, there's no place like home, DAMNIT! I'M CLICKING MY HEELS AND NOTHING'S HAPPENING!'
Thank god for Sakura's mom.
"You know, dears, it's kind of getting late." Three sets of eyes bolted for the clock. "I'll pack you two a dessert before you go." The mother rose and left for the kitchen.
Sakura rose as well. "I'll go help!" She bolted.
The same thought ran through both Sasuke and Naruto's minds: 'Curse you, Sakura, for leaving us with your nosy parker of a father!'
"Are you two together?"
SCREECH.
BANG.
Crash.
Ah, the sounds of brains malfunctioning and crashing.
"Eh?" Was the intelligent reply from Naruto.
The father pointed a steak knife at the two. "Are you two together, as in, living together as a couple?"
"…"
"Silence is the ultimate truth."
"H-hai."
"Hm." He stabbed the lump of corn on the plate with the knife. "Interesting."
'Please keep your anger directed to the corn, please please PLEASE DON'T STAB US! WE DON'T GIVE THE SAME SATISFACTION LIKE YOU GET WHEN STABBING THE CORN!'
"Here you go!"
Sasuke would've kissed her.
The mother handed both boys a box with the dessert in it. She smiled down at them, and patted Naruto on the head. "There, enjoy yourselves! If either of you run out, stop by anytime and I'll make more."
"They won't run out anytime soon," the father smirked as he continued to stab the corn.
"Oh? Why would you say that? Are you implying I give away too much!"
"You gave them each a pie, right? That's two pies for them total. That'll last them a week or two."
The mother raised an eyebrow. "How is that two pies? I only gave them one each."
"They go to the same house. Hence one plus one is two." The father looked up, dropping the knife on the plate.
The mother added it up. Then blinked. "Ooooh, I didn't know." She blinked at the boys. Then grinned. "At least we don't have to worry about them two doing anything unsightly to our daughter!" She turned to Sakura. "Have you been keeping them in line? I know boys like them can be very troublesome, just look at Kakashi and Iruka! Can never get that man's lips off of poor Iruka's neck! He's like a leech I tell you!"
Sakura screeched. "MOM!"
Sasuke grabbed Naruto and dragged him for the door. "Eh, it's getting late. We should be going--"
"You could spend the night!" The mom insisted.
"Uh, well, that's so sudden! Surely, maybe another time, Mrs. Haruno," Naruto shuffled for the door as well but the father stood up with a smirk.
"Oh, I insist for you to stop by again real sooooooon."
"MOM! DAD! STOP TORMENTING THEM!"
Sasuke and Naruto bolted.
As they ran, they could hear the mother shrieking at the dad. "YOU DIDN'T EAT YOUR CORN! STOP PLAYING WITH IT AND EAT IT OR NO PIE FOR YOU!"
They told us something once about paying by destroying.
"What the hell did you do?" Sasuke stared at the boat that was an utter mess. Naruto stared at it and kicked at it, only to have it completely fall apart into a heap.
Tazuna smiled weakly, rubbing the back of his neck. "Well, I couldn't afford to pay the bills on it, so I wrecked it."
Sasuke knelt down and inspected the damage. "You wreck it." He echoed.
"Yeah."
"Okay, I bite, why did you wreck it?"
Tazuna placed his hands on his hips. "I just told you, to collect the insurance money to pay off the bill, baka! Sometimes you just gotta do it, you know?"
Sasuke rolled his eyes. "If you've wrecked your boat to collect the insurance money to make a payment, your name must be Tazuna."
"Hey!" Naruto snorted with indignation. "It's very practical! Just ask Kakashi! He did it, but not to make a payment! He did it because he didn't have enough to buy the newest volume of Icha Icha Paradise!"
Tazuna and Sasuke didn't say a word.
They told us something once about waves being so righteous, yo.
"Yo! Dudes!" Kiba dragged Hinata over to where Sasuke and Naruto were standing on the beach shore.
"What's up Kiba?" Naruto gave the boy a high-five as they greeted each other.
"Me and Hinata just came back from a boat ride! It was so cool! You should've gone with us!"
The blond jumped up and down. "Oh! I bet that must've been fun!"
Kiba nodded. "It was! Hinata was a little wary at first, but I managed to convince her to go with me." Hinata blushed with a smile. "It was so cool! It was like, the boat was all tippy and stuff, and there were waves out there, like woah, wave, woah, wave, woah, yeah, and we got splashed by several fish out there! One of the animals sprayed us with water out there! It was so cool!"
Naruto was in an emotional overload now. "OH! SWEET! Come on, Sasuke! Let's go!"
Sasuke snorted. "I'm not spending a lot of money just so we can go out and have an animal blow its nose on us."
There was a pause, followed by an 'ewwww…' from Kiba, whom began to wipe off his shirt and wipe it onto Naruto, who squealed indignantly and smacked the dog boy.
They told us something once about there being laxatives in the soup at Charlie's Crap Shack the night we went there.
"Go on," Iruka dragged Kakashi and Sasuke into the restaurant, with Naruto trailing behind smirking triumphantly. "You apologize to those poor people right now!"
Sasuke glowered. "I don't see why I have to do it, it wasn't my idea!"
Iruka held up a threatening hand. "You had a part in it, so you can deal with it!" The man ran the bell and several people, including the manager appeared.
One person recognized the guests and glowered at Naruto. "You! Did you have to be that nasty in the bathroom! I was in here well past midnight cleaning it!"
Naruto winced. "See, about that, I came here to apologize."
Kakashi looked off at a wall with disinterest. "And I apologize to the waitress, who, for an extra 4000 yen per laxative, put a whole box in Naruto's soup…"
Sasuke sighed. "It was money well spent though."
Naruto glowered at the two. "You sons-a-bitches…"
Iruka grabbed Naruto before a full-fledged massacre could break out.
The waitress called up from the back. "Stop by anytime! I'd love to serve you real soon!"
They told us something once about believing in sake…I do believe.
Tsunade looked over the menu. The restaurant food wasn't really all that interesting, and nothing seemed to catch her eye. She sighed, placing the menu down on the table and watched as a waitress walked over, and stopped at Jiraiya.
"You all got what you want in mind?"
The group of six nodded, and one by one they gave their order.
"I believe I'll have the broiled haddock with Cole Slaw on the side…"
"…I believe I'll have the super sized bowl of ramen…"
"…I believe I'll have the special please…"
"…I believe I'll have a bowl of the soup of the day with a side order of rolls…"
"…I believe I'll have the same thing as my honey bun."
"Kakashi!"
"Mmm, Iruka. It's what's for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Oh! And all meals in between."
The waitress turned to Tsunade and tilted her head. "And what'll you be having, miss?"
Tsunade snorted. "I believe…I'll have sake." She reached into her robes and pulled out a bottle, popping out the cork. "Oh, I got one already. Never mind. Continue." She tilted her head back and took a large swig of it.
The waitress scuffled away, and Jiraiya begged 'for just one incy wincy teeny tiny drink, please, dear, sweet, Tsunade!', which was replied with a smack to the head from an empty bottle, and a call for a second round.
They told us something once about dork fish loving corn dogs.
"Naruto, what are you using for bait?" Sakura handed a fishing rod to Lee, who attached a lure to the end and released it into the water.
Naruto grinned. "My secret. Can't tell you."
"Are those--corn dogs?" Lee raised a bushy eyebrow as he pointed to the bag beside Naruto.
"Yes!" Naruto grabbed the bag, holding them close to his chest.
Sasuke grabbed the fishing line Naruto had inexplicably released and reeled it in, revealing that his bait was none other than--a corn dog.
"…"
"Hey, it's genius, Sasuke! It is!"
Sasuke didn't say a word. Instead, he handed the pole back to Naruto and went back to his own fishing.
"Hey, aren't you going to say anything?"
"I'm afraid to."
"Oh, I get it!" Naruto was about to jump up but remembered he was in a boat and decided against it. "You're being a smart ass again, aren't you?"
"Maybe."
"Say it and get it out of your system then!"
Sasuke smirked. "The only thing I can see you catching with the corn dogs are dork fish."
"…"
"…"
"…"
"Oh yes, picture this," Sasuke placed his rod on the boat and turned to the others, holding up his hands. "A little dork fish just swimming along at the bottom of the lake, just swimming along. Then BAM! There's a corn dog! He'll be like, 'Wowie! Lookie here! I found me a corn dog! I sure love them there corn dogs! I sure do!' He'll bite into it, you'll reel it in, and the first thing that'll escape our mouths will be 'What kind of fish is that?' and the first thing that fish'll say will be 'I'm a dork fish and I got me a corn dog!'"
There was a long pause and the other three occupants of the boat stared at Sasuke like he had gone insane. Naruto slowly inched forward with a hand outstretched and placed it on Sasuke's forehead. "Have you been out in the sun too long?"
"No."
"Gasp!" Naruto pulled back. "You got into my corn dogs, didn't you!"
"What? No!"
"YOU DID! And now you're hallucinating, and you think you're a dork fish!" Naruto grabbed Sasuke by the collar of his shirt. "Don't worry Sasuke! I'll save you!"
Naruto failed to realize that by jumping around he was making the boat rock violently. He did realize this after they all fell in and he ended up being beaten into the ground by an irate Sakura.
They told us something once about how you are welcome indeed.
"Sasuke! What happened to you?" Iruka blinked quizzically, with wide eyes at the bandages on the Uchiha's chest.
The boy grinned weakly. "Uh, a little accident."
Kakashi popped in next to Iruka. "They got a little--rough--last night."
Iruka almost fainted. Almost. Except now he wanted a clear definition of what this "rough" Kakashi was talking about. "What do you mean, rough?"
"Hot wax spilled on his chest, that's all that happened!" Naruto waved his arms. "He forgot the candles and they spilled wax on him."
"They were having a steamy night last night," Kakashi assured.
"Kakashi!"
"I want the truth, right now!" Iruka bellowed, causing all three to flinch.
Sasuke actually cowered under the glare. "Well, it was a little celebration we were doing on being together for as long as we have. We had a sort of romantic atmosphere going, and we had put the candles on the headboard…"
"…we kinda moved too much and forgot about the candles. Sasuke hit the headboard a little too hard with his back, and the wax spilled and splashed all over his chest."
Iruka made a face that declared he had utter sympathy for the boy. Kakashi had an amused expression.
"I bet that was a real scream."
"You can shut your perverted mouth and get the hell out any time soon, sensei," Sasuke spat.
"Oh, I'll leave in a second, I just want to know something--"
"What?"
The man grinned. "What did Naruto say before he realized you were hurt? We all know it would've taken him a moment to figure out what was going on."
The two boys blushed incredibly before Sasuke began with a sputter. "He, uh, well--"
"I said, 'Yes sir, you are welcome'."
Kakashi suddenly jumped and whirled, pointing to the doorway. "SEE THAT JIRAIYA! You owe me free drinks for a week!"
"I hate you Kakashi! I really do!"
Kakashi did his victory dance until he finally realized that Iruka had announced that he would be sleeping on the couch for the next two weeks, thank you very much, and would be paying for all of Sasuke's medical expenses as well.
Alas, poor Sasuke. The things he does for love.
-End-