A fallen flower would be the best way to describe him; you know how the most beautiful cherry blossoms fall last. That's how he was. He was on the opposite side of the earth, but he blown in my direction somehow. I liked him from the start something was different about him. Like how all the cherry blossoms were pink, he was a darker shade. He had a darker tint to him. And it was visible from the very start. People avoided him, afraid for absolutely no reason.

I remember the first day he walked into my life, I knew I wanted to be his friend, that darker tint, was what drew me to him. And we became friends. I could tell him things I never told anyone about, I told him my darker side. The side of me I never could find ways to express, he made me do it. He knew everything. He knew what it was like to go through hell, and he knew what it was like to be in Heaven. He was so smart, He told me what to do, and made me feel like I mattered.

Soon he was the only person I wanted to talk to. He told me his problems as well, and I tried to help as much as I could even if I'm not so smart and pretty stupid. But somehow I guess I helped and he didn't judge me like the rest of the world. He didn't tell me I was wrong, well...only when I said something really stupid...but that didn't matter. Then I introduced him to a good friend of mine; Yoh. And he immediately liked him. And it made me so jealous, I felt like I was forgotten, I felt like I didn't matter anymore. And that was the thing that I liked about Ren. I wanted to strangle Yoh because of my jealousy, and I hated it.

Soon Yoh and Ren were friends, really good friends. And I felt like my whole world was crashing down. Then I realized it, I liked Ren; a lot. A lot more then just friends. And it scared me, because I know the types of things that happened to him, so I could never tell him. And I thought Ren had a crush on Yoh; which made me form some kind of hate towards Yoh.

I was jealous, and Ren knew it, actually maybe he kind of enjoyed it; but I didn't know what went on in his mind; I didn't know what he thought, it was hard, one minute Ren was fine, and the next he was broken. He was so complicated. Something amazing happened one day though, he told me he loved me. Everything stopped, my world span and my heart skipped a beat. I was so happy. But since things went wrong with his previous relationship I was so afraid to tell him I loved him as well.

Ren had opened up his heart to me and I couldn't say I love you. Then I read this story that my friend wrote; To Late To Say I love You. And I didn't want that. So on one of Ren's web pages, I wrote in Chinese: I love you but I'm too afraid to tell you. It took me a whole hour to find the translator, but i was happy. Later, Ren finally read it, and I told him what I meant, he seemed happy.

Soon we were together, me and my beautiful cherry blossom. I was so happy. I bragged to everyone, I felt so happy. And I guess Ren was too. That first day, was amazing, I felt so happy, I felt like I was on top of the world, and maybe Ren did as well. Then the next day I was happy too. But soon, I felt tied down, it was my first real relationship, I couldn't do that many things. And I needed freedom, my religion is: Sex drugs and rock and roll, speed weed and birth control, life's a bitch until we die so fuck this world and lets get high. Suddenly I couldn't do those things, and I hated it.

But I said I love you, and I don't break those type of promises, and I played along for a few days. Until we ended it, and now, I feel guilty. Because our friendship was ruined, and it hurts me still. But its time to let my cheery blossom go.

I throw it into the wind, and its flows away from me.

I smiled, it will come back to me.

Horohoro

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Thanks Marija, you taught me a lot, but you'll always be my bestfriend XD

- xImperfectlyX