The Invasion of Bikini Bottom

By Linda J.

RATED: PG

SUMMARY: Invader Zim/Spongebob Squarepants crossover. What more do you need?

DISCLAIMER: They ain't mine; this won't make me any money.

CH1

"Didn't get it?" Purple tried to sound earnestly concerned for Zim's dilemma. Red meanwhile stood off in the back ground snickering. "I don't understand, we sent it to your new address six to eight weeks ago."

"New address?" Zim seemed more than just a little confused as he stood at attention looking up into the monitor that hung far above his head. "I haven't moved. I'm still here at the exact same spot where I landed."

"Oh?" Purple now began to giggle as Red just gave up altogether and started laughing heartedly out loud. "Well then why did you fill out a change of address form?"

"But I didn't," Zim tried to explain.

"Silence!" Purple barked. "You dare question me?"

"Uh, no my tallest…" Zim meekly replied, appearing to be completely oblivious to the riotous laughter coming from just off screen. "It's just that it's imperative I obtain this anti-gravitation apparatus you sold to me; it's the very key to my latest evil plan to conquer this wretched world for my… ah, our glory."

"Wah. Wah, wah," Purple cruelly mocked. "We did our part by sending the anti-gravitation apparatus. It's your responsibility to be at the address we sent it to." Purple abruptly ended the transmission as he and Red leader then laughed so hard they were both holding their sides.

Zim stood there silently staring at the monitor hoping that at any moment Purple would come back on screen and tell him it was all a joke. Purple and Red had indeed played a joke but sadly it would not end the way Zim stood there hoping for.

Reluctantly he finally gave up waiting and yelled out to his computer. "Computer!"

"Yes, sir," Zim's computer responded in a less than enthused tone.

"About six to eight weeks ago an extremely important package was sent to me from our home world. With it, I will alter Earth's gravity and cause everything on this useless rock to float away into the coldness of space." He paused there for a brief moment relishing the thought of seeing all these petty humans, especially that big headed Dib, screaming their lungs out as they slowly rose into the atmosphere and eventually beyond it.

"I need you to scan this entire planet and find its exact location," he went on. "It will undoubtedly be a very large package so it should be very easy for you to find."

After a few moments of scanning the computer came back with the results. "There is no detection of any large packages sent from Irk within the past six to eight weeks Master."

"What!" Zim was infuriated. "How dare you tell me you can not locate the package? You are completely worthless! What do you think I pay you for?"

"Pay me!" For being a computer it sounded pretty irate. "You don't pay me anything; including attention most of the time!"

"Don't sass me, I am your Master; I AM ZIM!" The little green man ranted then began pacing the floor.

"Gir!" he then barked and in an instant his little robot stood at attention in front of him; saluting his Master with red glowing eyes. "At your service Master."

"See if you can locate this package the great tallest leaders personally sent to me." The robot's eyes suddenly went from red to cyan as he cheerfully chirped, "Oakey-dokey Master!"

Zim rolled his eyes and smacked his head in frustration. Only a second or two went by when the now red eyed Gir snapped to attention. "Insufficient data to process request master."

"Insufficient data!" Zim wildly yelled. "What more data would you require? It's a really, really big package; it came from Irk about six to eight weeks ago and I WANT IT NOWWWW! That's all you should need to know!"

"Are you sure about the size of this anti-gravitation apparatus? Perhaps the package isn't so big after all Master?" Computer interrupted.

"Quiet computer I trying to think!" he snapped as he rubbed his temples talking to himself out loud. "Hmmm…Perhaps I was wrong about the size of this package. Perhaps it is like me, small but full of great and devastating power!"

"Brilliant deduction Master," Zim's computer mocked.

"Of course it is, I thought of it!" Zim arrogantly boasted never catching computer's sarcastic tone.

"Look for my package again Gir, but this time look for a package of any size or weight to come from Irk within the past six to eight weeks." Zim was now certain his package would be found and soon after giving the command a very perky Gir began to jump up and down.

"I found it, I found it!" the quirky robot then fell to the floor and started to roll around giggle like a maniac.

"Gir, stop that nonsense at once!" Zim barked roughly stomping his foot on the floor. "Tell me where my package is this instant!"

"It's ummm…far away," Gir said with an awkward grin.

"So?" Zim snapped rudely. "Oh never mind, just get in the Voot cruiser and take me there."

"Yippie! We're going on a field trip; we're going on a field trip!" Gir began dance and sing for joy as he made his way to the cruiser.