Kunoichi 'n' Kimonos

Okey, dokie!! I'm finally free from my writer's block, and guess what?! THIS IS IT!! The final chapter and NO more, ahahaha, that didn't sound right.

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The Super Double Team Gai and Team Kakashi Squad, all broke and crawled into a bench to sit.

"Damn it Gai!!" Kakashi yelled, "You just wasted my student's energy, and not to mention our time."

"Do not worry my rival! It was all worth it." Gai said, "We collected enough men, to battle the ferocious women!" He then, pointed at……….

…………………………………

"Nothing." Said Neji who blamed whoever paired him up with these idiots.

Sasuke scowled, "Hyuuga, your team sucks."

"I……..second that." He said defeatedly.

"Do not worry!" said Lee, who backed his sensei up, "I have I great plan!!!"

"What is it?" they growled tiredly, except for Gai, of course.

"You see, women see as, as men, therefore, why not dress like a woman, and….and-" he thought of a word.

"Infiltrate them!" said Gai.

"Yes, the perfect word, sensei!"

"Oh, Lee!"

"Sensei!"

"Lee!!!-"

"Do not hug in front of me, or I swear to Kami-sama-"

"Are you gay?!" Naruto asked.

"Yes we are!"

"Very!

Naruto kind-of choked, he didn't expect that kind-of direct answer.

"Means they're happy, idiot." Explained Neji, and Naruto relaxed a bit.

Kakashi looked at his watch that appeared from his wrist out of nowhere (Chisumi: I don't know if there is any watch in ninja time, but bear with me hear people!).

"Hmm, exactly 11:00, looks like it's our only choice." decided Kakashi.

Sasuke, Naruto, and Neji stared at him in horror, while Lee and Gai looked at him in gratitude.

"HAVE YOU LOST YOUR FREAKING MIND?!"

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"Fortunately," said Anko, who happened to have a watch, "Its 11:03 now."

"You have a watch?" pointed Sakura.

"How'd you get a watch?" asked Tenten.

"It doesn't matter!!" snapped Anko. "The point is that they're running out of time."

"Hey wait a minute!" broke Sakura, "You two are GROWN kunoichis, then who's chasing you?"

"Uh, err…….."

"YEAH! And you Temari, is a kunoichi from the Sand, who's chasing you here?" asked Tenten.

"Um………Gaara, and Kankouro?" she said lamely.

"In fact, there's not even a Kunoichi Festival in the Sand Village, of course Gaara would never do such a thing like that! So why are YOU HERE?"

"Um……..Dammit! You can't blame a girl who wants to have a little fun and gratitude!!!" yelled Temari stomping back to the Sand Village.

Tenten and Sakura stared at Kurenai and Anko.

"We'll be going now." The two older women said.

Pause…

"Did we really had to say that to them?"

"Guess not."

"Great, we just spoiled our chance of winning."

"Um, at least we have tactics…"?

Tenten glared at Sakura, and she laughed nervously.

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"Have you completely lost your mind, Kakashi?" said Sasuke.

"That's sensei to you."

"Guess again, we're Team Kakashi, not Team 7, our relationship of being student and teacher is broken, and replaced by relationship of being a shinobi."

"Do you have to rub it in?"

"Do you really expect me to answer that question?"

"No, not really."

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"Here's the plan." Tenten said as she pulled a scroll out of nowhere, and drew on it."

"Okay, from my experiences to Team Gai, I suspect that they're going to do something stupid, what about your team?"

"Well, the only thing I know about my team, is that desperate times, calls for desperate measures."

"How is that related to this?" asked Tenten.

"No idea."

"The best thing about this plan, is that to be ready and try not to laugh when they do something stupid."

Sakura shrugged, "Probably."

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"Dammit! Desperate times calls for desperate measures!" Naruto whined as he slipped into an orange kimono.

"Stop your whining!" Neji said as he slipped on a white kimono.

Lee and Gai admired themselves.

"You look great, Gai-sensei!" said Lee.

"I know I do!" replied Gai, and instead of doing the 'okay pose', he winked his eye, and did the 'cute peace pose' it fits in with the girls.

"Gai, no matter how you try to look cute, you are still going to be one hairy, and horribly-disgusting woman." Said Kakashi who wore a green kimono, but it was too tight for him, and lemme tell you something, nobody wants to see his 'curves' hugging the kimono 'shudders'.

Chisumi: I'm sorry Kakashi, but you do not look good with that!!!

Sasuke only stared at his, "DO you really expect me to wear this?" he asked pointing to a black kimono.

"Hyuuga did."

"Yeah, but I'm not THAT desperate."

Neji glared at him, and he glared back.

"Just do it."

"No."

"Hey, at least yours isn't as tight as mines, or Gai's."

"What're you talking 'bout? It hugs my 'curves' (if he has any) perfectly!"

A girl screams in the background (That could be me , sorry Gai.)

"You're right, I'm no one to complain." Said Sasuke, mentally erasing the mental picture that's stuck to his brain. 'MUST THINK OF SAKURA, MUST THINK OF SAKURA!' screamed Inner Sasuke.

He put the black kimono, but it couldn't fit him, it was too big, he kept putting it on, but it kept on sliding back.

"Damn fat woman." He cursed.

Chisumi: No people, they did not steal this from a another girl, they just bought it from a mysterious guy, who must've stole it from another girl.

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Sakura and Tenten just waited, but they were bored to death.

"Wonder what our teams' trying to do." Wondered Tenten aloud.

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Once Sasuke pinned the kimono with needles, something was wrong.

"Aren't we suppose to have chests?" cut Naruto.

Chisumi: How rude, PERVERT!

"Aah-"

"Yes." Cutted-in Gai.

"Hell no. Absolutely not." Said Kakashi.

"Why not?" asked Lee.

"It's not normal."

"WE'RE not normal." Said Neji.

"Shut up."

"But, what're they going to say?" asked Naruto.

"They can just say that we are the most horrible women they had ever seen in their whole lives, that have flat chests." Said Kakashi.

"Fine with me." Said Sasuke, Neji, and Naruto.

Meanwhile, Gai took two coconuts and placed them under the kimono.

They twitched madly.

"Not with me." Said Gai.

"Or me." Agreed Lee. "Oh, wait Gai-sensei, your 'coconut' is slipping, let me fix it."

He then, adjusted the coconuts with his own two hands, then people started staring at them, and whispered something like: "What a PERVERT!!", "OHMYGOD! SEXUAL HARRASMENT!!", "Is that girl touching that woman's-", "Ohmygoodness! What're they trying to do to each other?", and "OHMYGOD, LESBIANS!!!"

"Thank you Lee." Said Gai.

Naruto patted the now sobbing Neji. "I feel sorry for you man."

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"God, what're taking them too long!!" whined Sakura, who was laying down on the bench sideways with her head falling out the bench.

"Maybe they gave up." Said Tenten.

Pause…….

"Nah………."

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"Finally, where finished!" exclaimed Naruto, "Can we go now?"

"Uh…….yes." said Kakashi who stared at Gai suspiciously.

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The girls stood up as they saw six hideous girls coming toward them.

One who's a white-eyed-freak-with-no-pupils, one is a-crazy-woman-who-has-a-mask-on, two even uglier girls, one with-a-chicken-butt-hairdo, and one who-looks-like-she's-hyperventilating-herself. Weird…….

"Morning ladies!"

"It's evening Fai-sensei."

"Oh, right, evening ladies."

"Hn."

"Hn."

"Yo.'

"What's up?!"

Sakura and Tenten stared at each other, and started whispering.

"Ohmygoodness, they're hideously-ugly!!!" whispered Sakura.

"I know, couldn't they just have spared us, by putting their masks on?"

Sakura shrugged, and they broke their little 'whispering circle'.

Then, they grinned at each other.

"Your teammate's crazy," Said Sasuke.

"Yours is insane," said Neji.

"Bite me."

"I think I will."

"Idiot." Said Neji.

"Bird-brain." Replied Sasuke.

Chisumi: Easy there, don't think of the 'I think I will' part a sexual harassment.

"So………." Began Sakura, snickering.

Tenten couldn't help it and laughed out loud already.

"Tenten!"

"Sorry," she said wiping a tear, "Couldn't help it, this is just precious."

"What's precious?" asked Neji suspiciously,

Tenten smiled at him slyly, "You're face."

Neji gulped, 'OHMYGOD, TENTEN'S A LESBIAN! I SHOULD'VE KNOWN!'

"And I am not a lesbian if that's what you're thinking…." Ended Tenten.

'Oh……..'

"Neji-kun."

Pause.

"S'cuse me?" asked Neji, who didn't quite catch what Tenten had said.

They started laughing again.

"TentenIknowyousaidtobepreparedifourteams'doessomethingstupidwhentheygethere, buthisisjustbeyoundstupid!" Sakura laughed.

Chisumi: She said: "Tenten, I know you said to be prepared when our teams' does something stupid, but this is beyond stupid. If you knew that was it, then good, I just wasted time!"

"OHMYGODIknow,what'retheythinking,thisisjusttoofunnytobeleftalone,wemustshareitwiththeworld,muststoplaughing,andgogetcamera!"

Chisumi: Yes, I'm wasting time, but this is what Tenten had said: "OHMYGOD I know, what're they thinking? This is just too funny to be left alone, we must share it with the world, must stop laughing, and go get camera!"

"What is this? Chick Talk?" asked Neji suspiciously, and before they knew it, a laughing Sakura and Tenten took a pictured of them.

"What the hell is wrong with you two?!" asked Sasuke angrily.

"OHMYSWEETLORD, HAVE MERCY ON US, AND MAKE US STOP LAUGHING!!!" yelled Sakura, which bellowed through Konoha.

"'AAHAHAHAHAHAHHA-NO!MUST CONTROL MYSELF OR DIE." Tenten finally coming out of their laughing state, adjusted herself, and made the still laughing Sakura stand up, "What were saying all this time, is that you six are the most stupidest guys for dressing up as girls."

Sakura finally stopped too, but struggled a little whenever she looks at them, "I -snicker-didn't know that you were this-snicker-desperate!"

Then they started laughing again.

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In the Hokage-something.

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"Tsunade-sama," cried Shizune, "Please calm down!"

"OHMYGOD, WHAT'RE THE IDIOTS THINKING?!" laughed Tsunade who was looking through a telescope, then she stopped.

"Thank you for calming down Tsunade-sama."

"Shush Shizune! I just realized something! Konohagakure is filled with dumb-asses men!"

"Tsunade-sama-"

"NO! WE'RE RUINED, OUR REPUTATION IS RUINED!"

"Tsunade-sama-"

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Screamed Tsunade, which echoed throughout Konoha, unto The Sand Village.

Gaara stopped his paperwork, "Damn Hokage."

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They twitched madly at the laughing girls.

"It's worth it!" said Neji grabbing Tenten, but it turned into a block of wood.

"What?!" said Neji as he heard laughing upwards. Tenten and Sakura we're there.

"Nyaah, nyaah! You suck Hyuuga Neji!" Tenten said.

Suddenly, Kakashi smirked and realized something, before hitting Sakura who was with the real Tenten, who was making funny faces and insults at Neji, but it turned out to be a clone too!

Kakashi sweat-dropped as Sakura who was right in front of his said: "You suck more than Neji, Kakashi-sensei." And then jumped beside Tenten.

"Hey!" the girls called down, as the boys looked up, "We have a poem for you!"

"ROSES ARE RED,

VIOLETS ARE BLUE,

GOD MADE ME PRETTY,

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU?!"

They chorused as they broke down, laughing uncontrollably.

Chisumi: I got this from the internet, I forgot where, but I did not make this up, I'll say it again, but I'm not going to type it, just read it over again, 'kay?

The boys growled at them.

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"Oh, Tsunade-sama!" Shizune said, "It's almost time!"

Tsunade looked at her watch, which was 11:55, she got a bullhorn, as she continued to watch the 'show'.

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Kakashi looked up at his watch, "11:57?! Hell no!"

"We have to catch them! HURRY!!!!" panicked Kakashi, his new volume of Make-Out-Tactics had just arrived, and this was the only one left! Who knows what Tsunade could do to it?!

His eyes widened, HELL NO! He refused!

"MOVE, YOU G--DAMN PEOPLE!!!" He roared.

They jumped up to them.

11:48……

The girls' eyes widened, as The Super Double Team Gai and Team Kakashi Squad pulled a HUGE net out of who knows where.

11:59…….

The girls' screamed as they kicked their faces back down to the hard earth.

12:00………..

Hell no…….!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed the bullhorn, wow, Tsunade has one strong finger!

Gaara covered his ears tightly, and accidentally broke his pen, and the bullhorn accidentally broke every glass of the Kazekage-something. "Damn Hokage." He cursed.

"OKAY!!!!" yelled Tsunade, The Kunoichi Festival is over!!!!"

"SWEET LORD, NO!!!!!!!!!" screamed Kakashi.

Sakura jumped down, and took of her mask, smiling, she said, "Sorry, but It's over."

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"TEAM KAKASHI!" Screamed Tsunade.

"DAMN HOKAGE, WOULD YOU QUIT SCREAMING!!!" screamed Gaara.

"OH SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!" Yelled Tsunade.

"I REFUSE!"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

"FINE!"

And the Hokage won the screaming battle.

After the 'Kage Episode', Tsunade said: "Damn Kazekage," at the same time when Gaara said, "Damn Hokage." Before turning to Team Kakashi.

"Well, as punishment," Tsunade stared at Kakashi, "Gimme the book." She said at the sobbing Kakashi.

He slowly reached into his pocket.

"HURRY THE G—DAMN UP!" yelled Tsunade, did Gaara whine this time? No, we knew just get yelled at again. Anyways, back to Konoha..

"Fine, break a precious moment will you?" sobbed Kakashi.

"STOP CRYING AND BE A MAN!!!" screamed Tsunade.

Kakashi glared at her, "I AM NOT CRYING, I'M SOBBING, SEE? MORE MANLIER! AND I AM A MAN!"

He slowly handed it to her, but when she reached out and grabbed it, he wouldn't let go.

"GIMME THE DAMN BOOK!" yelled Tsunade, and Gaara didn't say anything, he just cursed Tsunade under his breath.

"I HEARD THAT!" yelled Tsunade.

Gaara didn't know how she heard him, when even Orochimaru and his sound-freaks couldn't, but then again, he didn't want to know, and just muttered something like: "Gomen."

"YOU BETTER BE!" Tsunade yelled back.

Then Kakashi, frightened, handed Tsunade his book.

"Anyway," Tsunade said. "Sakura can you please get here?" she asked politely, while glaring at Kakashi.

'Oh, yeah, be nice to Sakura.' Thought Kakashi bitterly who glared back at Tsunade, who glared at him to the fullest, and Kakashi went chibi.

"Has your team caught you?"

"Only about, let's see, at the restaurant, I escaped. At the bathhouse, I was kidnapped-" Tsunade sweat-dropped, and so did the crowd, "At the somewhere, I escaped. At the forest, Sasuke-kun caught me, but I escaped, then I slept at the bench" They sweat-dropped again, "Took them long enough to find me, then they did, but I escaped again, then with Tenten, we both escaped, except she was never caught before-" Tenten grinned, "So, about six times they caught me, or probably more, but I escaped them all!" Sakura finally said panting, hey, she didn't breath when she was talking, cause she can't, meanwhile Tsunade and the crowd, again, sweat-dropped at Team Kakashi.

"What kind of ninjas are you?" said Tsunade who shook her head disappointedly.

"But she's a strong girl who can kick ass!" defended Naruto.

"Naruto, she was the same SOMEBODY called weak-" Tsunade glared at Sasuke, "And she was the same girl who was always protected by SOMEBODY, meanwhile secretly STEALING HER spotlight, even though, he didn't know yet-" Tsunade glared at Naruto, "AND she's the same girl who SOMEBODY said lacked confidence." Tsunade now glared at Kakashi, who just laughed nervously back.

"And you call yourselves men?!" Tsunade added, as they sweat-dropped.

Boy, she's rubbing their mistakes on their faces REALLY bad.

"SOOOO," Began Kakashi, "What's my punishment? I know it has something to involve with my book, but what is it? Not to be able to read my book until six days?" Kakashi asked.

"Worse."

"How?"

"You'll see." She said and tore the first 7 pages of the book, tore the 7 last pages, and tore chapter 7 itself from the book in a single move. Man! How does she do it?!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" cried/screamed Kakashi, he was now all like sad, and Tsunade was now all like happy.

Tsunade now called Naruto to the stadium-thingy, Naruto only responded with a gulp.

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"Naruto…"

"H-hai?" said Naruto politely, who knows, maybe she'll cut him off some slack! It's worth a try.

"Naruto, you are banned-"

"To eat ramen for 6 days?" he asked quite happily, hell, it was better than Kakashi's punishment, he CAN survive.

"No. Let me say it again. Naruto, you are banned to talk for SEVEN DAYS!!!"

"WHAT?!"

"And for disrespecting me today-"

"I DID NO SUCH THING!"

"-For TALKING BACK TO ME RIGHT NOW, IN FRONT OF ALL THESE PEOPLE, you are banned from Icharaku Ramen for, SEVEN WEEKS!!!"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTt?!?!?!??!!??!?!??!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!???!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!???!?"

He yelled.

"NARUTO, SHUT THE HELL UP!" yelled Gaara stressfully, poor Kazekage,

-shakes head disappointingly-

"CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF A HUGE, BREAKING CRISIS HERE, YOU UNCARING, SHUKAKAKU-MHMHRPMFFH!!!!!!"

Tsunade closed Naruto's mouth for him. "Yell one more time, and I'll add another week!"

"Gomen!"

"AH! YOU TALKED! Add another week Shizune!"

"Yes Tsunade-sama."

"But I wasn't yelling-!!"

"ANOTHER WEEK!"

"But I was just apologizing-!"

"ANOTHER WEEK!"

'This isn't fair!' Naruto thought.

"ANOTHER WEEK!"

'What the hell?! She can hear me?!"

"DAMN RIGHT I CAN HEAR YOU!"

'But I'm just talking privately to my mind-!"

"But you're still talking, so shut up if you don't want another week!"

"…………"

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"Okay, so you're done" Tsunade muttered, "AH!! Uchiha Sasuke, this might be precious! Shizune, get a video-camera!"

"Yes, Tsunade-sama." Shizune said as she ran, and ran back to the stadium-thingy, in like a second with a little-portable-video-camera in her hands."

"And roll the tape!"

"Rolling!" she stopped. "Oops. I'm sorry Tsunade-sama, but it has low battery."

"So?"

"We need some new batteries."

"And?"

"We can't film it."

"WHY NOT CHARGE IT?!"

"Because it'll take hours."

"UGHH!!! DAMMIT! THIS IS NOT MY DAY!" Tsunade screamed.

"Mine too." Gaara said, covering his ears.

"Fine!" Tsunade grumbled, glaring at Sasuke. "This is all your fault, and as punishment for not catching Sakura-"

"I did-"

"IN TIME! Your punishment will be-" The whole village waited to hear her, although, it's not going to be that hard, since she talks so loud, woot! Go and make their ears bleed Tsunade!!!!

"Your punishment will be-"

"JUST SAY IT YOU DAMN TROUBLESOME WOMAN!" yelled Shikamaru's father.

"DAMMIT, I'M TRYING TO MAKE THE MOMENT LAST, AND I'M THE HOKAGE YOU TROUBLESOME NARA, YOU'RE FIRED!"

"Me?!" asked Shikamaru.

"NO DAMMIT, NOT YOU! YOUR DAD, NARA SHIKAKU-WHO'S BUTT-UGLY LIKE THE SHUKAKU!"

"I HEARD THAT!" yelled Gaara.

"LIKE I CARE!" Tsunade yelled back.

"YOU CAN'T FIRE ME!"

"YES I CAN! I'M THE FREAKING HOKAGE, WHO CAN KICK YOUE ASS ANYTIME, ANYWHERE!"

"Well then I'm sorry." Apologized Shikaku.

"SAY IT LIKE YOU MEAN IT!" yelled Tsunade.

"I'M SOOOOOOOOO SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"You better be…..!" hissed Tsunade who turned Shikaku into a little Chibi.

"G—DAMMIT STOP TURNING INTO DAMN CHIBIS, SHIKAKU AND KAKASHI!"

"She's kind-of drunk." Explained Shizune.

"NO I AM NOT!" Tsunade protested, then she turned back to her normal self, "Uchiha Sasuke, you're punishment is to not EVER leave your house in 7 weeks! And if you need anything, absolutely anything, Haruno Sakura here, MY apprentice, will bring you anything you NEED."

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATT?!" asked a shocked Sakura.

"……………………." Said a speechless Sasuke.

"Damn, it didn't work!" hissed Tsunade under her breath, before yelling this:

"THAT'S RIGHT! AND NOW YOU CAN ALL LEAVE, THE PUNISHMENT IS DONE, GO BACK YOU DAMN VILLAGERS, AND STOP STARING AT ME!, THIS IS THE HOKAGE'S ORDERS!-"

"Um, Tsunade-sama, I'm sorry, but they already left." Said Shizune.

"Oh, dammit Shizune, I feel dizzy!"

"I'll go get the pills!"

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"Dammit!-" Naruto said, until he was cut off.

"Naruto, you're not supposed to talk, and Kakashi get over it, it's just a damn book." Said Sasuke.

"IT"S THE LAST COPY!" defended/sobbed Kakashi.

"Besides teme, you can't even leave you're house." Naruto said and glared at Sakura, "All because of Sakura-chan-"

He was met by one of Sakura's punches, "Don't you glare at me, you idiot!"

"So what?" said Sasuke.

Naruto and Sakura stared at him.

"What?" asked Naruto.

"I guess it was worth it-" Sasuke explained, " I have to admit it' kind-of fun."

Sakura gawked and fainted, did Sasuke just say 'fun' in his vocabulary? OHMYGOD, WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE WORLD?! Luckily, the sobbing Kakashi, caught Sakura, and carried her piggyback style.

Naruto ran to Sasuke, "Are you kidding, or have you lost it?"

"I said it's worth it." Sasuke said again.

"Worth what?" asked Naruto.

"To be stuck at my house, and never to train for seven weeks." Said Sasuke, "At least I have company."

Chisumi: No people, not the perverted kind of what Sasuke said, I don't type things like that, no offense to the other people though

Naruto stopped.

"What?"

Then it struck him.

"SASUKE YOU SLY BASTARD!!!!!"

"ANOTHER WEEK!"

"DAMMIT!" Cursed Naruto.

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Somewhere around the Sand Village.

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"Damn Konohagakure." Gaara hissed as he continued doing his paperwork.

THE END!!!

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IMPORTANT, PLEASE READ, okay so not so important, BUT YOU BETTER READ THIS!!!:

Chisumi: Well, sorry for making ALL of the characters OOC, but I can't help it, I just wanted the last chapter to be the funniest of al!!! (And wow, Tsunade cusses a lot, so do Kakashi, XD) And it's required being OOC.

And yes, this is it! The last chapter, and review please, because I wrote 19 long, VERY LONG, pages just to entertain my reviewers, so please review!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Plus I think I'm going to write a sequel, but I'm not really sure.

PLUS, if you review even more of my stories, I will make a sequel, got that?

And I hope you enjoyed this story, I really hope you do! Well, ja ne!

Gaara: Damn Chisumi.

Me: Shut up!!!!!

Kunoichis: See ya next story! -nyaah-

Tsunade: You better review, dammit!!!