Title: Too; aka: Bringing Home The Bacon

Description: I made a comic about the 'too poor, too old, too dangerous' thing, then made a fic about it. Slash

Category: Humor

Other Category(s):

Parings: I meant it to have Sirius/Remus, but, ah well.

Warnings: You may spew coke out of your nose.

Disclaimer: I only own a few people, but the government has forbidden me to speak of them. Harry Potter characters belong to J.K. Rowling.

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"Tonks," Remus said, "we've been over this. I'm too old."

"Oh, Remus," Tonks said, people are more open about age differences in relationships, now."

Remus sighed as he raised his eyebrows. "I'm too poor," he said.

"I've got a decent job!" Tonks countered. "You need someone who can help, anyway. I can 'bring-home-the-bacon!'"

"I'm too dangerous," he said, and this caused Molly Weasley and Fleur Delacour to get close to bursting into tears.

"Are not!" was all Tonks could come up with, and Remus just stopped himself from rolling his eyes.

"Tonks," he said, it was time to bring out the big boys, "I'm too gay."

"Oh," Tonks said as everyone averted their eyes. "Oh, yeah, I forgot about that."

"I figured," Remus said.