Title: A Lesson Before Dying

Author: Leah

Pairings: AngelCollins

Spoilers: Um………..hinting of Angel dying, I guess

Genre: Romance, Drama

Summary: Angel asks Collins to promise her something

Author's Notes: It's possible that some of you may not like this that much, but I guess that I'm okay with that. Just try to think more about Angel and her personality than Angel and Collins as a couple when you read this. And I got the title from a book I read over the summer.

Disclaimer: I don't own RENT or A Lesson Before Dying.

Feedback: is greatly appreciated.

Angel nervously twisted her fingers together as she slowly sat down opposite Collins at the table.

"Collins?" she asked after a minute.

"Mm hmm?" he answered, not looking up from the pile of papers he was grading.

"Can you promise me something?"

"You have to tell me what it is first," said Collins, still absorbed in his papers.

"Okay………then can you promise me that you'll promise to do this?" asked Angel with a small hopeful smile.

Collins finally looked up from his papers, raising one eyebrow. Angel looked back at him, looking hopeful and slightly nervous. "Just tell me what it is," he said, before going back to his grading.

"Fine," Angel replied, rolling her eyes. She took a deep breath. "I want you to promise me that if I get sick, you'll leave me."

Collins' hand, halfway through writing something, froze. He felt his stomach drop, but he continued to stare at the paper for a moment before answering. Finally, he looked up at Angel again. "You're crazy," he said, trying to pretend that she wasn't serious. He tried to get back into correcting, but his mind wouldn't concentrate.

"Collins, I'm completely serious," Angel answered in a very level tone. Collins looked up at her again. His mind was spinning; this was the last conversation he wanted to have.

"Well— well, you're already sick, so do you just want me to just get up and pack?" Collins asked sarcastically. "Or— shit, I am too. So doesn't that mean that you have to leave?"

"You know what I mean," said Angel in the same matter-of-fact voice.

They both stared at each other: Angel with her eyebrows raised slightly, looking completely serious, and Collins still trying to regard the whole thing as a joke. After a minute, Collins realized that he was going to have to say something.

"Angel— why the hell would I leave you?" he asked incredulously.

"Because I know you," she answered. "If I get sick, you're going to spend of all of your money on doctors and medicine. And you're going to spend all your time with me, and you'll forget to live. And I don't want that."

"What makes you so sure I'm not just going to leave you at Mimi's?" asked Collins with a smile, still trying to lighten up the conversation. Angel just looked at him. Collins sighed. "Come here baby," he said after a minute. Angel got up, walked around the table, and slowly settled herself in his lap. He wrapped his arms around her stomach, and she leaned her head back against his shoulder. "Angel, I'm not going to leave you," he said after a long silence.

This time, Angel took a minute before answering. "Why not?" she asked finally.

"Because— because that would kill me. Do you get it? I don't care if I waste a few months next to you, because they're not wasted at all. And if I wasn't with you, I'd— I'd just die. And don't you want me with you the whole time?"

Angel sighed. "Of course I do," she answered. "But you can't do that honey. It's not just a few months, it's forever. Because then you'll never love anyone else, and you'll never forget about me, and I can't live knowing that you're going being alone."

"But Angel, that doesn't matter, does it?" asked Collins. "You're always the one that says that it's only today that matters. So who gives a shit if I turn into some depressed old professor that refuses to talk about his home life because he hates it so much?"

"I give a shit," answered Angel. "I want you to be happy. If you watch me get sick, or die, or whatever, that isn't gonna happen."

"Baby, I don't care what happens in a year, or ten years. You make me happy. So being with you for as long as possible matters, okay? And I may be upset, but Angel, you're still gonna be with me forever. So it doesn't matter what happens."

Angel took a deep breath. "Just— just think about it, okay?" she asked.

"Angel, I can't even do that. Don't you get it?" said Colins.

Angel was quiet for a moment. "Fine," she said finally.

The two of them both sat there for a few minutes, in silence, lost in thought. "What do you want for dinner?" asked Angel suddenly.

"Huh?" answered Collins, confused.

"What do you want for dinner?" Angel repeated, getting off of Collins' lap and walking over to the small freezer. "Tofu dogs?"

"Uh………yeah, sure," said Collins, trying to clear his head. "Yeah, that's fine." He was amazed how quickly Angel seemed to have gotten back to her normal, energetic self. He looked over at her; she already had her head in the freezer, looking around for the package they'd bought a few days ago.

Hours later, after they'd eaten, and Angel had gone to bed, Collins sat down and tried to finish grading his last few papers. After a minute though, he realized that he had just read the same sentence eight times, and hadn't taken in any of it. He got up, deciding that he would finish grading in the morning. Slowly, he walked into the bedroom, got changed, and got into bed.

He lay on his back for a minute, still running through the conversation that he'd had with Angel before in his head.

"Collins?" Angel asked suddenly. Collins hadn't realized that she was awake.

"Mm hmm?" he asked, rolling over onto his side to face her, but her back was to him.

"You— you never promised," Angel said after a minute.

Collins sighed and wrapped his arm around her. Slowly, he kissed the back of her neck. "But I never said that I would," he answered finally.

/lj-cut