Author's Note: This is actually the fourth in a series of birthdayfics I wrote
about Cordelia's reaction to Xander's birthday. The other three, alas, are
songfics, so I can't post them here.

This is another one of the fics I wrote years ago and have recently
rediscovered.

Disclaimer: Joss Whedon created the Buffy and Angel characters.

X X X X X

They'd made her swear on half a dozen different gods that it was
legitimate.

They'd made Angel swear the same thing.

And then, and ONLY then, had the Scooby Gang given permission to
Cordelia and Angel to come anywhere within fifty miles of Sunnydale the
day before Xander's birthday.

"But I still don't see why you need to come down," Buffy'd said. "I
mean, we can take care of it ourselves."

"No, you can't," Cordy'd answered. "I don't get visions for you. I get
them for Angel."

"Okay," the Slayer had answered. "But color me still suspicious."

"You can be orange with green polka dots, Buffy, but I'm still coming to
Sunnydale."

And so they'd come. Buffy, Xander and Anya, plus the two LA visitors,
were sitting or standing around the Magic Box while Cordelia explained
her vision. It had been about some kind of flying creature – not a
demon, she didn't think; it had looked like a vulture with a twenty-foot
wingspan. It had been picking people up, carrying them off, and eating
them.

There had been reports of a couple of mysterious disappearances in the
area, but Buffy had assumed it had been vampires up to their old tricks
(even though it had been a while since she'd actually FOUGHT a vampire.)

Anya said unexpectedly, "Hold on a second." Then she went to one of the
bookshelves in front of the counter and brought it over. It was called
"The Dictionary of Cryptozoology." She rapidly flipped through the pages
until she flattened the book against the table. "This the monster you
saw?"

It was a black and white drawing of something called a Thunderbird.
Cordelia looked at it and said, "That's it, alright."

"We're fighting cheap booze?" Xander asked.

"No," Cordy said, "That's tomorrow." Xander started, and then grinned
nervously at Anya.

Anya said earnestly, "Don't worry. I have a lot of expensive booze lined
up." After a second. "Ripple is expensive, right?" Then at Xander's
frantic look she just laughed.

"Well then," Xander said, sneaking glances at Anya to make sure she WAS
actually kidding, "Let's take down this thunderbird and go party."

"What kills it?" Angel asked.

"Oh, anything," Anya said. "It's just a giant bird, it's not like it's a
real monster or anything. I'm wondering if it's even fair to kill it."

"If it's a choice between the giant bird and people, the giant bird
loses," Buffy said.

"No argument there," Angel said.

X X X X X

The giant bird lost.

Buffy and Angel stopped it from carrying off one of Dawn's classmates
and then chased it back to its nest, which was somewhere in the
foothills outside of town. Since there was no way Xander, Anya or
Cordelia were going to be able to join in (it took all of Buffy and
Angel's speed to even halfway keep pace with the thunderbird), they made
sure the victim got safely home and then walked back to the magic shop.

Halfway there they were jumped by a vampire.

Xander immediately tried to jump in front of Anya and Cordy and was
amazed to see Cordy leap to the attack and do a halfway decent job of
fighting off the demon. Between the three of them, they managed to kill
it in under a minute, with Anya stabbing it from behind while Xander
grabbed its feet and Cordelia punched it in the face.

"You've been working out," Xander said admiringly.

"Thanks," Cordelia said, smiling. "And before you say anything, Anya, I
don't want him."

"Wasn't even thinking it," Anya said in a tone that indicated she was
but wasn't going to give Cordelia the satisfaction of saying so.
"Beside, he's right. You HAVE been working out."

They didn't have to wait too long at the shop, although Buffy and Angel
came in awkwardly carrying a bird's nest the size of a VW Bug. "The
Thunderbird's dead," Buffy said. "Now the question is, what do we do
with these things?"

And of course there were eggs in the nest. Eggs as big as sofa cushions,
but eggs nonetheless.

"I'm thinking king-size omelets for breakfast," Xander said.

"What worries me is that if these things are fertilized that means
there's a daddy out there somewhere," Angel said.

"Don't need to worry about him," Anya said. "Daddy thunderbirds are only
about as big as condors. They couldn't carry off anything bigger than a
small dog."

"Poodles of the earth, beware," Xander said.

"Still . . . the eggs . . ." Cordelia said.

X X X X X

In the end, they did a ritual to see if the eggs had been fertilized. To
everyone's vast relief, they hadn't been; they'd had no idea where they
were even going to get an incubator that size, much less find someone or
something willing to sit on the eggs.

So Anya took one of them to use for a spell, Angel went out and
destroyed a third, and Xander actually got his king-sized omelet the
next morning.

He wasn't fully able to enjoy it, though, being kind of preoccupied with
his last sight of Cordelia the previous night. After they'd completed
the ritual they hung around and chatted and discussed recent adventures
until around midnight.

"Why do we need to stay?" Angel'd asked Cordelia.

"With everything the Powers have put me through in the last two years
they owe me one," Cordelia'd said mysteriously. "Just watch."

But whatever Cordelia wanted to have happen apparently hadn't by 12:15
AM, and Angel wanted to get back to the Hyperion before he was a pile of
ashes. So, a little disappointed, they said their goodbyes and began to
walk out of the Magic Box.

Then, suddenly, Cordelia smiled. "Angel," she said, spinning to face the
center of the store. "There's a group of vampires at Dodger Stadium.
They plan to attack a tour group tomorrow morning." She looked up
towards the heavens and muttered, "Thanks."

Buffy and Anya were pointing at her in disbelief, while Xander was a
step away from fainting.

"What?" Cordelia asked, then looked down. "Oh, that. I'm part demon now.
Didn't I tell you?" She grinned wickedly. "Happy birthday, Xander
Harris."

"So THIS is why you insisted on coming down?" Angel said when Cordelia
finally settled back onto the floor.

She pointed at Xander, who was still on the verge of nervous collapse.
"Are you saying it wasn;t worth it?"

Angel started laughing. "Well, now that you mention it –"