What the Winchesters Would Never Say
Summary: Exactly what the title says, just random little snipits of things the Winchester boys would never say. EVER! There are warnings for slash – rated M for strong sexual references.
Chapter 1 – Beginnings. (Guess Starring Jess. – Somehow)
John: Sam……..
Sam: Yeah dad?
John: Can we talk?
Sam: Sure dad.
John: You're adopted.
silence
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something said between Dean and John when Sam's in College
Dean: Ever get the feeling you're just a little speck on a huge cloud of dust? Like – the world no longer makes sense and everyone you love and everything you've worked for means absolutely nothing?
John: Ever get the feeling – you should put down those weed bowls?
Dean: cough sputter Not driving till tomorrow dad, you can handle the smoke.
John: ug.
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Dean singing: THE NIGHT SANTA WENT CRAZY THE NIGHT ST. NICK WENT INSANE REALIZED HE'D BEEN GETTING THE WRONG DEAL! SOMETHING FINALLY MUST'VE SNAPPED IN HIS BRAIN!
Sam:………You suck at singing.
Dean: NOT TRUE DUDE! Weird Al is a fine musician, among the finest! Metallica , Ac/Dc, ZEPPLIN! Weird Al is one of the rare artists EVERYONE CAN SING!
Sam: This coming from the biggest closet Brittany fans ladies and gentlemen……..
Dean: stomps on breaks CHRISTINE I LIKE CHRISTINA DAMMIT!
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Sam: I'm a pyro maniac.
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John: Dean why are we here?
Dean: It's the week end there's no gigs figured we'd blow off steam.
Sam: Why am I blindfolded?
John: Why IS he blindfolded?
Dean: because I knew if he saw where we were going he'd whine and complain and I'm sick of his brooding.
John: Yeah – he does brood a lot.
Sam: ……DAMMIT DEAN NO I REFUSE TO BE HERE! LET ME OFF RIGHT HERE! AND GET THIS DAMNED BLIND FOLD OFF OF ME!
John: Yeah Dean; come on this is really immature we can't abuse Sam like this.
Dean: - It's just Vegas!
Sam: JUST VEGAS? YOU MORON IT'S GAMBLING I'VE SAID A MILLION TIMES OVER MY POWERS DON'T WORK LIKE THAT!
John: He has a point Dean….
Dean: YOU'RE AGAINST ME TO?
Sam: alright dad! Now – for this damn blind fold – uh what? Why can't I get it off?
Dean: You know that wet stuff when I first put it on.
John: sniggers
Sam: Ye- yeah?
Dean: it wasn't water.
Sam: Wha – what was it oh dear brother of mine.
Dean: …..Super glue…..
John: falls out of truck laughing
Sam:….DEAN!
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Dean: is on his knees in pain his ears are pressed tightly to his ears, he's crying in agony.
John: comes running into the motel room DEAN! OMG DEAN WHATS HAPPENING! is also plugging his ears from the awful screeching noise coming from the washroom
Dean: IT'S SAM! HE'S SINGING IN THE SHOWER!
John: OH GOD NO!
Sam from the shower: MY LONLINESS IS KILLING ME I MUST CONFESS I STILL BELIEVE – STILL BELIEVE AND WHEN I'M NOT WITH YOU I LOSE MY MIND OH GIIIIIIIIIIIIVE ME A SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGN HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME!
John: This is horrible! ….I have a plan! Dean you ready?
Dean: Anything – anything to shut Sam up!
John: - o.k FOLLOW ME! they go to the trunk where John whispers the idea to Dean mean while putting heavy duty ear plugs in his and Dean's ears. So on my signal we burst in. Did you make the calls?
Dean: Yeah I made the calls – their waiting. Evil grin
John: Alright – you ready?
Dean: nods
John: 1 ….2……THREE!
Sam: OOPS I DID IT AGAIN I PLAYED WITH YOUR HEART, GOT LOST IN THE GAME OH BABY BABY OO – AHHHHHHHHHHHH is cut off as John and Dean jump into the shower and grab Sam dragging him out of the wash room. HEY WHAT ARE YO - it's too late, Sam's singing is cut off as John and Dean successfully throw him naked out the motel room window into a mosh pit of insane Sam centric fan girls
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Dean: I'm obsessed with 50 Cent.
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John: I'm so happy Mary's gone. Now I can hook up with someone young and sexy!
Jess: Hi I'm Jess.
John: ….sly voice Well hellooo. Do you have a little Winchester in you?
Jess: Um - no?
John: Would you like some? wink
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End first Chapter. PLEASE REVIEW!