Author's note: Hey people! Squibakou is back with another fic. My first one was just a tester really, but read it if you wish (it's called 'Dear Ron'). Enjoy the following stupidity!

Disclaimer: I own zippidy-doo-da and squat. i.e. not a sausage.

Warning: This is very silly. It doesn't even make sense. I fail to see why I even wrote it.

Morph.

Chapter 1 – Bubblegum.

Harry sighed and ran his fingers through his already severely ruffled hair. The parchment in front of him was unmarked and had remained in that state for over three hours. All Harry had managed to do was stare blankly at the sheet all evening; he was convinced that it was sucking his very soul from his body. (Ssslllluuuuuuuurrrrpppp the sound of soul sucking. You've seen it in the movie. It's definitely a ssslllluuuuuuuurrrrpppp-ing sound.) All life seemed to have left him and his mind was wandering lonely as a cloud through a field of glassy-eyed cows. Moo.

"This doesn't make any sense!" He sighed and popped a pink bubblegum flavoured fizz-pop into his mouth. "It doesn't taste like bubblegum at all!"

Two Hour Later.

"It still doesn't taste like bubblegum." Confused and disappointed, Harry decided to give up on that particular pursuit and return to the task at hand. Unfortunately for him the task at hand was now covered in wads of pink bubblegum flavoured fizz-pop.

"How exactly did this happen," he wondered aloud. Sighing and shaking his head ruefully at this mystery, he got up and ambled off to find more parchment. At three in the morning. When most people, possibly including those with keys to such places as the parchment storage room, are asleep.

Being unable to find any parchment (not for want of trying), Harry decided to use the tools he already had. He liked being creative.

"POTTER, WHY IS YOUR HOMEWORK PINK AND STICKY?" squawked Professor Trelawny. The class flinched at the onslaught of capital letters.

"It's not what's usually done, is it?" said our sugar loving friend (although he may have gone off pink bubblegum flavoured fizz-pops – at least until they actually taste like bubblegum), "Though I'd like to think creativity plays a part in your marking scheme?"

She looked at him, fire blazing in her eyes.

"Could you turn down the heat, miss?" he said, fanning himself.

She looked at him coldly.

"Thaaaaat's better."

ZAP.

From a particular angle the pink smudge on the hospital wing's ceiling looked very much like Harry Potter's face. It yawned. Madame Pomfrey suddenly became very busy with about half of the patients nearest the yawning Harry-blob.

When all heart rates were stabilised she returned her attention to the smear on the ceiling. The Harry-blob saw her bustling towards him and panicked. From his point of view she looked very much like a giant, hairy, man-eating (probably man-eating) spider/monster/thing. And, although he was brave as a rule, he also had a long running tradition of breaking rules and this one seemed as good as any.

In one revolting pop, he un-suckered himself from the ceiling and dropped to the floor with a splat. Gathering himself together he slithered under the nearest bed, losing his form for a moment before reshaping in the darkness.

"Harry Potter! Come out of there at once, you are behaving very childishly!" scolded Madame Pomfrey, "I know you've had a shock, and Professor Trelawny was very much out of line for doing this to you, but if you just come here I'm sure I'll be able to find cure."

"No way ho-say, yah old bat!" Harry was enjoying his new found freedom very much.

He darted up the wall and snuggled himself into the corner, pretty much unfazed by his strange new abilities. She looked around for him and he grinned, when she finally spotted him he grinned even wider and when she started marching towards him he grinned even wider – far beyond normal human capacity. His grin really did stretch from ear to ear. And beyond.

"Nya-nya-na-nya-nya!" his enormous mouth taunted. He stuck his tongue out at her, the huge pink glistening muscle oozing out from between his thin stretched lips. He laughed and melted down the wall before turning a sharp left and continuing round the room.

"Can't catch me I'm the….erm… BLOBBERBREAD-man, um. Ha ha?" the Harry-blob said whilst he roamed the walls.

He waited for a moment on the far wall but soon got bored and resumed his travels. Corner to corner, ceiling to floor. Bouncing off walls and getting stuck on the door. (I made a rhyme!) Sliding across windowpanes and crawling under wardrobes. His movements seemed to have no consistency. (Le ha ha)

When he returned to his normal form again (although still pink in colour) he did it slowly to maximise the creeping-out effect on Pomfrey. The central orb expanded and lengthened, the corners stretched out into arms and legs and a simplistic head shape morphed out of the newly formed neck. The shapes of sleeves and trousers melted out of his arms and legs, and his robes glooped down his front and back like melted chocolate. His face suddenly appeared with a slurping sound and pink slimy strands of goop grew out of his head and arranged themselves into his usual messy hair-do.

He grinned at the stunned Nurse but then his expression changed to one of worry. Being inexperienced in the art of morphing he felt something was wrong. He looked forward and bulged out his eyes stretching them into long ribbons of pink eyeball –

"Oh gods, that's disgusting," said Madame Pomfrey looking like she had been changed into a very green blob as well.

-the veins deep red and clear against the paler pink eye jelly. He looked at himself thoroughly from top to bottom. Shoes! He'd forgotten shoes! (You thought it was something else didn't you? Didn't you?)

When he'd fixed his footwear dilemma he returned his attention (after sucking in his eyeballs) to Madame Pomfrey, only to find her lying unconscious on the floor. He grinned and shrugged before melting himself down to a liquid and spilling out the door.

Authors Note: Hope you liked it. If you did you know what to do.

This is Squibakou signing out. (My new catchphrase)