Malchik Gei

By: Shozetsku

Warnings/Authoress Notes:

Yaoi. Cursing. Shonen-ai. Non-canon; but not entirely AU. And basic yaoi fangirl-ness. If you do not like this, then do not read this.

This was inspired by listening to the song Malchik Gei by Tatu waay too much. I highly recommend you listen to it while you read this. While the Russian version is better, the English version adds for better backdrop. Most likely this will be a three shot.

Chapter Three: Fanservice

Naruto walked down the street with difficulty. It wasn't that his… rear but his lower back. His… bum was used to the abuse by now. It was his spine that was protesting. He didn't want to go to Sakura because she would freak (yes, she would freak but for other reasons then what you're thinking Naruto-chan!), and Tsunade was out, and he didn't want to take this to Ino either. Naruto clutched the small of his back, which was protesting to his every movement. He wished that the drug store wasn't so far away from his house.

In all actuality the drugstore was just down the street, but when you're in pain everything seems too long or too far. This drugstore was littered with the newly established sasunaru fanclub-ers as employees, for obvious reasons. The most prominent of which being rule six, There has been enough drama in both Naruto and Sasuke's lives; we will do all we can to ensure their overall peace of mind. And rule four, Both homes will be well stocked with ramen for the enjoyment and stamina of Naruto to aid him in keeping up with Sasuke's libido.

Naruto hobbled into the store. A boy stocking the shelves looked at Naruto's hunched posture and contorted expression. He immediately set the boxes he was lifting down and strode quickly over to the medicine aisle, grabbing a bottle he found Naruto, still hobbling, still very close to the door. The boy, handed the bottle to Naruto. "This stuff will take care of your back for at least hours. My sister swears by it during her time of the month."

Naruto took the bottle gratefully and began to hobble over to the register. The girl behind the register rang him up with an almost too understanding smile on her face. She also seemed to be rather giggly. Naruto thanked her and the boy for their help and hobbled back down the street.

The girl, still giggling looked over at the boy, who was leaning against the counter, "That was nice of you, Your Mom's Face-san." she giggled again, "But do you really have a sister?"

But he only responded with a laugh, "Now why would I tell you something personal like that? It ruins the fun of anonymity. That's why both of our nametags have false names."

She laughed too, "Poor Naruto-san. I hope this doesn't effect the release date of the next photo collection."

"You are one crazy girl, you know that? Those photo collections are made waay in advance. It won't affect this one."

"I guess your right, but I'm not '1 crazy girl' I'm 'crazy grl 3568'!" they both laughed until a customer walked in the door, the both called "Irashi mase!" and went back to work.

---

Sasuke stood in front of Sakura's house and knocked curtly, the door was opened by Sakura's mother who bustled him in happily and offered him food and drink while he waited for Sakura to come down. Sasuke declined both and sat straight-backed on their sofa while he waited.

He sighed uncharacteristically when her mother wasn't in the room. He knew what this looked like to most people. And to a lot of people would assume that Sasuke would start to take the only girl on his team out on a date, Especially if he wanted to revive his clan. But really who would believe that he wasn't taking Sakura out on a date? Who wanted to hear that he had no interest in such things? People only cared about normalcy. Something Sasuke, personally hated with an unrivaled passion.

There came a thudding down the stairs as Sakura practically tripped over her feet to get Sasuke and herself out the door. She looked rather nice choosing a wide yet modest neck-lined yellow blouse and a tasteful white skirt. She wore earrings and a bracelet of daisies and had left her hitai-ate at home. Sasuke had to admit, even if he didn't care one way or the other, that bright colors looked good on her.

They walked down the streets of Konoha and Sakura kept a modest amount of space between them as they walked. She didn't try to cling to him or strike up unnecessary conversation that Sasuke would only half try to participate in. Her behavior only confirmed what Sasuke suspected, what he had called Sakura out to talk about in the first place.

They found a quiet café that was nearly empty, after ordering and sitting there in silence for a few minutes Sasuke broke the silence.

"So, how long have you and your little friends been stalking and taking pictures of Naruto and I?"

Sakura hung her head and sighed, she had known that this was the reason somehow. She turned her head to the door of the café and called out, "Ino. Come on out, we've been made."

Ino walked in, looking a bit embarrassed, and sat down at the table. "How long have you known?" Sakura asked.

"A while now." Answered Sasuke indifferently. "And I'll tell you this now, as long as you don't negatively interfere with mine and Naruto's relationship I don't care about a little voyeurism. Just make sure that none of your little club members makes Naruto any the wiser. I might not care about and audience but Naruto sure as hell will, it's hard enough to try to get into his pants without him worrying about being watched."

Sakura and Ino giggled. Ino recovered herself first, "It's been several months since we the co-founders first witnessed your …actions." she said very officially.

"And you needn't worry about any negative interference from club members. We support the two of you together, and have several general rules within the club to protect your relationship from outsiders and even from our own club members."

"Really?" Sasuke said leaning foreword, now slightly amused. The two girls nodded.

There was a stretch of silence that the three of them didn't break. Ino made a significant face at Sakura, who blushed and shook her head 'No.' Sasuke merely watched as the two girls commenced in a heated yet utterly silent argument which, to Sasuke's amusement included nonverbal threats of violence and psychological warfare.

It seemed that Ino had won in the end, Sasuke, still silent, waited for what she was about to say, trying to prepare himself for anything.

"The fanclub members would like to make requests." Ino stated in a quiet and overeager voice. "She means," Sakura cut across, "That the fan club members have made requests that we would like to be put under consideration at the time when you two became aware of the situation."

Sasuke wasn't entirely prepared for THAT. However his cool composure was not so easily shaken, clearing his throat he said, "Since I already made it clear that it would be best if Naruto remained in the dark about this, I will take these 'requests' into consideration. After all, for all you all are going to help keep mine and Naruto's relationship as smooth as possible, a little fanservice is a reasonable price to pay."

Sakura an Ino giggled hysterically, Ino dug into her purse that she had brought along and thrust a rather thick scroll at him. "Happy reading!" she said with a grin, "Oh, and the ones that have red bars on either side of the request paragraph," "or paragraphs." Sakura cut in. "Are ones that you shouldn't read within 1000 ft of people." "Which is most of them." Admitted Sakura, though unashamedly.

Sasuke took the scroll, "A pleasure doing business with you." he said coolly, and left.

"I wish he wasn't always so damn cool." Sakura said sadly, watching him go.

"Just remember, it's gay and taken." Ino said, patting Sakura's shoulder, "It helps keep your head on straight."

Sasuke came running back in, "Who the hell is 'Pink Kunai Knife' and she wants me to do WHAT with a WHAT?"

Sakura blushed madly. Ino giggled.

End

Sorry for the utter lack of yumminess again.

I apologize to my beta and good friend Kyuu-chan because I didn't send this to her first. That's right this is unbetaed! She's on vacation at the moment.

Thank you all for your love of my fic -bows-