A/N: Hello! This is my first ever Yami fic and my first fanfic ever so be somwehat kind to me. I was going to wait until I had the whole thing written out before posting but I have a tendency to put off what is not pressing so hopefully posting this will kick my butt into gear.

A few things to note:

I do not use Japanese words, titles or names. My reason for this is that I do not have a 100 comprehension of the language and I feel weird using it in the fic when I've only ever read the Viz Media English language releases. I will, however, keep with the tradition that seems ingrained here, and have Watari refer to Hisoka as "bon" only because I have watched the anime, preferring the native track and I have a soft spot for Watari's voice.

Also I've made a few things up to suit my needs. For example, I do not believe it is ever discussed whether or not the head of the security dept is a male or female. I'm going with female based on the two characters we meet in volume 9, they're amazon-like so it seemed like their boss would be too.

And finally, slight spoilers. Nothing that gives away the storyline, however this fic takes place mostly in a place introduced post-Kyoto and will involve some of the characters introduced there.

And finally for real, disclaimer: I own nothing, never claimed to own anything at all.

"Ready Chief?"

"I am, hand me the dart, Tatsumi."

Tsuzuki clapped his hands over his heart, "Come on Chief! You can do it"

"A place without active volcanoes would be nice," mumbled Hisoka without too much hope for anything less. So far in the few years the teen had been with the division, the yearly vacations had provided him with as much or more stress than the actual job had.

"I don't care where we go as long as there's delicious food and plenty to drink!" exclaimed Tsuzuki as he clasped his hands with Watari's, both men bouncing from anticipation, or perhaps from too much sugar. Hisoka rolled his eyes and sighed dramatically, earning him a sympathetic look from Tatsumi.

With the concentration of an Olympic athlete, Konoe drew back his hand and let the dart fly. Everyone held their breath in anticipation as the dart soared toward the map on the far wall in what seemed like slow motion.

THUNK!

Blink, blink

"Where is it?" Tsuzuki asked. The map was unmarked, the dart nowhere to be seen.

"Over here, that's odd," The chief spied the dart sticking out of the top of a computer monitor.

"Must be losing my touch," he grumbled, moving to retrieve the dart.

"Just a moment Chief," said Tatsumi with a faint smirk; "The rule is you get one throw and one throw only."

Chief Konoe looked at the shrewd secretary in horror. "Tatsumi," he warned, "I'm all for saving the department money, but taking away our vacation is low, even for you."

Tatsumi's lip twitched in that special, smug way and he adjusted his glasses in that special, smug way and raised his eyebrow in that special, smug way (oh you get the idea!).

"Relax, I'm not suggesting that. On the contrary, I'm rather looking forward to it, seeing as there are very few places I have never been before…" He trailed off.

Hisoka's eyes narrowed, surely Tatsumi didn't mean there!

"Tatsumi, what exactly are you getting at?"

Tatsumi sighed, "Correct me if I'm wrong, and I rarely am, is that not Kannuki's computer? Or rather, the Suzaku Gate?"

Silence permeated the room as realization sunk in, only to be broken unceremoniously by Tsuzuki a moment later.

"Alright! Did you hear that Hisoka? This is going to be the best vacation ever! I can't wait to tell everyone we're coming! Oh and I'll bet we'll have some wild parties! Isn't that great?"

"Oh yeah, that's great Tsuzuki," Hisoka scowled, felling the beginnings of a migraine coming on, "There's nothing I'd like better than to be glared at by Soryuu, and pounced on by Suzaku and Byakko. All while trying to avoid becoming Saya and Yuma's living Pink House Barbie dress up doll, on my VACATION!"

Suddenly there was a small popping noise and a squall of pink hearts began to flutter about the room.

"Oo! Did you hear that Saya? Hisoka said that there's nothing better that he'd like than to be dressed in the latest Pink House fashions!"

"I sure did Yuma!" The girl cried brandishing an armload of shopping bags, "Good thing we came prepared!"

Hisoka emitted a low growl from his throat that was meant to be menacing.

"Awww, so cuuuute! He sounds just like a little kitty!"

"Oh kitty! I have the purr-fect outfit!"

From the depths of Saya's shopping bag, a French maid costume, complete with kitty ears and a tail, magically appeared. Tsuzuki eyed it adoringly.

"Quit drooling, Idiot! I'm leaving, we're still on the clock, not that that means much to you." Hisoka stormed out of the office, followed by Yuma and Saya still brandishing the costume. Tsuzuki sighed wistfully.

"Well I suppose I had better go rescue him."

"Here," Watari offered, digging a small digital camera out of one of his pockets and grinning like the madman that he was.

"What's this for?" Tsuzuki asked innocently.

"Oh come on, like you're going to actually stop them? I know you too well Tsuzuki!"

Tsuzuki stood looking deeply offended for a fraction of a second before an evil glint darkened his violet eyes. "Right, I'm off to the rescue!" He ran out the door, black coat trailing behind him.

"Just a minute, Tsuzuki."

"Huh? What's up Tatsumi?" he asked, poking his head back in the door.

"I'm going to need you're help setting up accommodations for our vacation, I understand one of your Shiki is a house?"

"Yep, that would be Tenko. I'm sure it'd be no problem for us to stay, room is not an issue, he can make rooms anywhere he wants."

"That sounds like our best option then, would you mind contacting him and just getting a definite yes?"

"Sure thing Tatsumi!"
"Oh and Tsuzuki, one more thing," Tatsumi leveled his eyes at the camera in Tsuzuki's hand, "If I see any inappropriate pictures around, I'm holding you fully responsible and you're budget will be cut for 3 weeks."

Tsuzuki winked, "Don't worry, these will be for my private collection only!"

With that he backed out of the room and ran down the hall, hoping he hadn't missed anything.

"And you!" Tatsumi spun on his heels glaring at Watari, "You really should know better than to encourage him like that, it's only going to make Kurasaki angrier than he already is."

"Hmph!" Watari sniffed, "Bon gets what he deserves. It's unhealthy to repress your true desires, you know. It only causes frustration, for both parties involved."

Watari's eyebrow arched playfully causing Tatsumi to adjusted his tie somewhat nervously.

"Is that so? In any case you should mind your own affairs, Watari."

The blonde scientist laughed softly, "But isn't that what I am doing right now?" He turned toward the door, tossing his hair over his shoulder in the process; "I'll be in my lab, should anyone need me."

Tatsumi cleared his throat and checked his appearance in the reflection of the window before returning to his desk. "Right then, now that everyone's gone back to..eh..work…we should get started on the budget for this vacation."

"Hmm?" Konoe looked up guiltily from the flask he was chugging from, an empty aspirin bottle lay on the desk.

"Er, yes," he tucked the flask away in the bottom drawer, "but budget for a larger group this year. I received a memo earlier that due to the lull this season and the expected rise in cases over the holidays, we're doubling up this year, so add 5 to our head count."

"Oh? And who might they be?"

The chief shook his head, "I don't know. The memo said we'd get the list later. Let me check my email. Ah, it's here." Konoe read the list, "Wakaba and Terazuma, probably best if we don't let Tsu-" His words were drowned out by a loud crash in the hall followed by angry shouting.

"I swear it I'll push you straight into the first wormhole we see!"

"Who you calling a wormhole, wormhole?"

"You're a wormhole!" Another crash.

Konoe sighed, "Well too late looks like they figured it out. Do either of them have any pay left to dock for the damages?"

"No," the secretary smirked, "Perhaps we should give them both a raise?"

The chief eyed Tatsumi suspiciously before turning back to the list, "Let's see who else we got."

His eyes scanned the screen and went narrow, a frown forming. "Tatsumi, you can remove one from your head count, I'm not going!"

Tatsumi sighed, adjusting his glasses for the x-tyith time today.

"Am I to assume that one of the names on that list is Todoroki?" Konoe issued a dismissive grunt and Tatsumi sighed again. "I'll take that as a yes. So I can only assume that the other two names are Kazuma and Nonomiya. Very well then, that's those 5 plus our usual 7 so that's 12, I'll make the arrangements."

"Eleven."
"I'm sorry did you say something chief?" Tatsumi turned to his boss.

"I said eleven, I'm not going."

"Right then, for a minute I thought I heard something childish from your direction. I'm off to make the arrangements, party of 12."

"Tatsumi!"

"Twelve Konoe, and you will be there, I'm certainly not going to spend on anything that will go unused." Tatsumi left the office, slamming the door, leaving Konoe to wonder exactly who was in charge of the department after all.

Meanwhile in another part of the building, Tsuzuki was thanking the gods for his amazing healing powers and wondering how Hisoka could land such powerful punches and kicks while wearing such a restrictive costume. It was as if the outfit doubled his strength and tripled his propensity for violence. Or perhaps Tsuzuki was just taken unaware by the boy because he was still tired from his scuffle with Terazuma.

"Oh poor Tsuzuki," Saya sighed, patting the bruised heap lying on the floor, surreptitiously removing a digital camera from his pocket and passing it to her partner in crime.

"He sure took one for the team didn't he?" murmured Yuma, looking through the pictures stored in the camera. "Oh Saya! We have to find a printer right now, these are too adorable!"

"AIEEE!" Saya squealed, grabbing the camera back, "Yes we do! I want a hundred copies of each!"

With that the girls ran down the hall towards the copy room, leaving a trail of hearts and fluff in their wake.

And down in the basement, a certain misunderstood genius was pacing back and forth, absentmindedly adding chemicals to a large pot on the table, disregarding the frequent explosions emanating from within and disregarding the positively adorable owl who was trying to alert him that his lab coat was smoldering.

"I don't know what I'm going to do about him 003. I mean it's obvious isn't it? And half the time he's giving me the signals loud and clear, but then in an instant he'll turn on me! How can he not see it too? Is he that heartless? How clueless!" But 003 was not listening, opting instead to dump a beaker of (hopefully) nonflammable liquid on Watari's lab coat. "Hmm?" Watari looked down distractedly at the smoking mess he was wearing.

"Oh was I on fire again? Thank you 003, I don't know where I'd be without you." The little owl beamed and bounced happily over to the window to switch on the radio that sat on the sill. Watari sighed, "What to do, what to do?"

Music filled the room. It was an oldies channel and Watari recognized the song, it was a British pop tune that had been rather popular when he was a young boy. He remembered buying the record with his allowance and started singing along with the song.

I took my troubles down to Madam Rue

You know that gypsy with the gold capped tooth

She's got a pad down on 34th and Vine

Selling little bottles of…

"That's it!" Watari stood up, smacking himself in the head, "I can't believe I missed something that simple, that obvious!"

The crazed blonde ran to his storage cupboard and changed into a fresh lab coat. He dumped the explosive cauldron down the toilet (cursing when it ate a hole in said toilet) and took stock of his ingredients. "Hmm, just a few things I'll need," he mused. 003 smacked herself in the head for not changing the radio station earlier. 'Here we go again!' she thought, tucking herself into a little owl sized bright orange HAZMAT suit.