It was past midnight when I slowly crept down the grand staircase and snuck out the front door. Walking down the path, I'm not sure where I am going. I let my heart lead me, my thoughts consuming what little energy my small frame still has at this late hour.

I shouldn't be surprised because this is how this whole thing started in the first place. You wanted me, Georgie or not, whether I was in love with somebody else or married to somebody else or not.

His words washed over me, leaving me feeling confused, angry, sad and guilty. The regret is overwhelming. Doesn't he know that I can't go back? God knows that I would if I could, but it's too late. If I had known where my lies would lead me, I would have never told them. I shouldn't have lied in the first place, I know that now. But we can't go back, and I can't change what I did.

You didn't care about my feelings, you cared about Georgie's even less, and you didn't care who your lies wrecked, did you? And now, rather than be inconvenienced for nine months or, God forbid, gain a little bit of weight, you'd rather sacrifice human life.

Dillon has been angry at me in the past, but I have never seen him look at me with such hatred as he did tonight. His words were like venom, killing me over and over again. Hours later, the pain is still there. Resting my hands on my flat stomach, I hate myself for making this decision, for taking this opportunity away from Dillon.

What is this about, Lulu? Is this about Georgie? Is this about me not being in love with you? Huh? Maybe it's about getting what you never had and always wanted – daddy's attention.

It was one of the two comments that would forever change the way I looked at Dillon. He knew that it wasn't about Georgie, it never was. This wasn't about hurting Georgie, my lie or my decision to terminate the pregnancy. The lie was about me being in love with Dillon, hopelessly and totally in love with him. Part of me thinks that I fell for him because he was the one person I felt like could see me. He liked me without condition. And even through all this, I loved him. However, a significant portion of my heart died when he went to the one place where he knew I was most vulnerable, my relationship with my father.

One of us happens to be that dead baby's father.

I always knew what I wanted to do, even if I said that I didn't. Dillon was right, he didn't love me. I know that he offered to marry me, but I know that he'd end up resenting me in the end. And if he really looked at the situation, I knew that he didn't want the child either. He felt an obligation to the child that only exists technically, a mere kidney bean in my womb.

You know what? I bet your mother would want you to have the baby.

That had been my breaking point. I think Dillon knew that it would be, even before the words escaped from his lips. He went the one place where he thought he could play on my guilt. In actuality, it had done the exact opposite, angering me from the darkest place. I thought he knew me better than that. Hell, I thought I knew him better than that. The Dillon I knew would never go there. Maybe I changed him, maybe I took away the kindness. I could blame myself for a lot, but I will never believe that I deserved what Dillon said to me in that moment.

Finally, I stopped walking. The pale moonlight danced off the lake at the Quartermaine estate, reflecting the million twinkling stars shining in the velvet sky. I kicked a rock absently, the small pebble bouncing off the end of my sandal. Looking ahead, I see where my heart has led me. Like a stupid criminal from one of those bad television specials, I've returned to the scene of the crime, back where it all began.

A single light is on in the Boathouse when I get to the door. Its amber glow through the translucent curtain tells me that someone inside is burning a candle. Without even opening the door, I know who it is. Part of me wants to retreat in the other direction, to keep running until I collapse. Another part of me knows what I need to do is see what is on the other side of the door.

His back is to me when I quietly open the door. Sitting on the floor, his knees are drawn up to his chin. Dressed in an old grey sweatshirt and tattered jeans, he is barefoot as he looks at the stripped wood floor below. His slightly trembling shoulders catch me off guard. My first instinct is to kneel behind him and wrap my arms around him, but I can't. I could stand there and watch him forever, but again, I can't.

"Dillon."

He turned slowly and looked at me. Tears rolled down his tanned face as his green eyes locked with mine. He held my gaze, reaching up to absently wipe the wetness from his cheeks. "Lulu."

"I should probably go," I replied before turning to leave.

"Why are you here?" he asked softly, stopping me in the doorway.

I didn't turn around when I answered him. I wasn't sure that I would have the courage to tell him the truth if I did. "I had to see if you would be here."

"And what made you think that I would?"

"Because this is where I would go if I was upset with you," I explained.

"Which is why you are here now?"

"Which is why I am here now."

"Are you sure, Lulu? I mean, are you 100 percent sure that this is what you want? You know that if you do this, we can't go back. We'll always wonder what would have happened."

"There is no 'we,' Dillon. You made that painfully clear earlier. You don't love me."

"I could learn to love you if that's what you need. Just tell me that you won't do this, Lu. We'll figure out the rest."

Lu. He called me Lu. He hasn't called me that since this all began. I want to agree, to let him find a way to love me just as I have found a way to love him. However, because I do love him, I want him to be happy. I know that he wants Georgie, not the baby or me. "I won't be an obligation or a burden. I won't let our child be one either."

"How can you be so selfish, Lulu?"

"You've already asked me that once today, Dillon, remember? Right after you called me a selfish bitch, I believe."

"I shouldn't have said that. I was just desparate. You understand desperation."

"Don't you realize that by forcing me to have this baby, you're just as selfish as I am for wanting to have an abortion?"

"Either way, one of us loses. One of us is the bad guy. I'll be the bad guy this round."

"I hate this."

"What did you expect, Dillon? Did you want me to just have this baby and then watch you raise it with Georgie? Come on, you're not ready. She's not ready. I'm not ready. I won't let our child grow up the same way we did."

"You called it our child," he realized.

"What?"

"The baby, you called it our child. That's the first time you did that."

"Stop. You need to accept this."

"I can't do that, Lulu. If you have this abortion…if you kill our child, then as far as I am concerned, you are killing yourself. You will be dead to me."