Author's Notes: This is a DMC-based series mixing action, adventure and humour as well as parody which I'm writing both as a gift to my excellent friend bustahead, and a test of my own writing skills. Originally it was hosted on her account but for various reasons we decided it was best I put it up myself, so I made my own account and here it is. This story revolves around a very different threat to the series' cast, and I'll be the first to admit this is a strange work and also know OC-based series are looked down upon by some. All the same I ask hopefully that you give it a chance and even if you don't like it leave a review with some constructive advice so that I may improve, and other than that I hope you enjoy my work.
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Blades clashed at inhuman speeds in a whirlwind of metal and sparks, moving like liquid electricity through air and rain which seemed to hang suspended in comparison.

Standing behind the duelling weapons were bodies in equally constant motion, two mirror images, looking exactly alike yet dressed so differently. Each of them gave no quarter to the other as they spun and struck, faster than any eyes but their own could see.

Finally their weapons came together so fiercely they were driven apart, heavy boots grinding across stone as eventually friction brought them to a halt, a sizable gap opened between them. They were each panting despite themselves from the exertion of facing their ultimate equal, their brother, their twin. A rare pause was forced on the battle, but even in this moment the brothers would not cease their conflict, battling with words if not weapons.

"Why do you refuse to gain power?" the blue-cloaked man challenged. He looked for all the world just like his brother, his usually spiked-back hair washed to hang limp around his face by the heavy rain, "The power of our father, Sparda".

The other warrior was dressed in a red trench coat that mirrored his brother's and yet opposed it, casually stylish where the other's was of refined class, his naked torso exposed by the open front. He scoffed with disinterest. "Father?" he said simply, shrugging his shoulders slightly as if discarding any burden of responsibility, "I don't have a father. I just don't like you, that's all".

With that exchange, the physical battle resumed, the blue-cloaked warrior rushing forwards with katana held out wide. His opposite charged to meet him, heavy blade scratching up a trail of sparks against the rain-slicked stone beneath. The battle was intense and yet it could not be eternal, and just as assuredly as neither warrior would relent, so too was it certain that one of them had to fall. Fate demanded it.

But tonight, on this tower built to link twin and yet opposite worlds, Fate was not the only player watching this game between twins, themselves opposed, unfold.

As the two brothers closed on one another, mighty swords each ready to cut the other down, a blinding beam of light pierced the darkness and lanced down from the stormy sky. It struck the exact middle of the tower between the duelling devils.

Neither sibling would be deterred by what appeared to be a freak lightning strike though, and both of them kept stride as they drew together. When the beam winked out of existence an instant later though, a figure remained where it had struck the tower's summit. Their appearance looked likely to be a brief one as they had picked perhaps the worst place in all the world to quite literally drop in, the deadly blades Yamato and Rebellion arcing round to clash once again with no regard for the collateral damage caused.

However as a wise soul once said, appearances can be deceiving.

As the two blades swung round with enough force to cleave stone in two, the unknown figure raised its hands slowly, almost languidly. A playful smile danced over its face, and with absurd ease, caught the swords, halting their momentum without flinching.

An awkward silence hung over the scene, a moment frozen in mute disbelief, until the quiet was broken by the enigmatic intruder. "You boys shouldn't fight" her voice was melodious and sweet, yet almost artificially so. Like sugar-infused candy it had a subconsciously forced, fake quality to it, undetectable except under close scrutiny. Her body was one of purposeful, almost designed elegance and feminine grace. She was tall for a woman, though not overly so, and had a slender, hourglass figure complete with enticing hips and full, voluptuous breasts, and a face of prime youth that looked incapable of aging. This less than modest body was clad, scantily, in a shimmering ruby dress that somehow managed to reach her shoulders despite the generous exposing V at the front and downright charitable one at the back. The colour also perfectly matched her perfectly manicured nails, naturally. Her eyes were the kind of blue that wished very much to be mistaken for the ocean and her hair looked like it was striving to be considered to cascade like a waterfall reflecting the sunrise.

As absurd as this all seemed, there she stood regardless, holding the blades of Rebellion and Yamato as casually as a book or purse.

"Brothers should get along and play nice, why don't you come with me and we'll play together and be happy for ever after?" she asked cutely, turning her big, pretty cerulean eyes from one twin to the other. As she said this her voice sounded at once youthfully playful and yet doused with suggestive potential, as if she was indefinitely about to reveal an amazing secret.

If at this point you feel you can take no more, despair not, for the brash Dante shares your sentiment. With a rough jerk he pulled Rebellion free of the stranger's grip, leaping back through the air. Replacing the sword on his back he drew his beloved handguns Ebony and Ivory in one fluid motion. "Jeez babe, didn't anyone tell you it's rude to talk with your mouth full?" he snapped off rhetorically, aiming at her head and firing. After all, nobody interrupted his fight with Vergil, no matter how bizarre and insane they were.

The girl merely laughed however, casually throwing the Yamato aside, along with Vergil who still gripped it, as she turned to face the younger twin. "You'd be surprised how much I can fit in my mouth" she winked suggestively, raising some serious questions over the speed of bullets verses the speed of human speech. With a gentle flick of her head she sent her golden hair sailing forwards and in a moment that would have given shampoo advertisers the need for a very long, cold shower, the sunshine-yellow wave deflected the bullets harmlessly aside.

Dante's mouth hung open, the talkative half-devil temporarily speechless at this development. Before he could find his tongue his wind left him, forcefully driven from his body as in a blur the woman was in front of him in the air, delicate hand now a clenched fist and buried in his stomach. With the grace of a cannonball Dante sailed down into one of the statues lining the perimeter of the tower's summit, halting his descent but shattering to rubble in the process.

His assaulter on the other hand landed with an easy grace; almost daintily even, placing that same hand that had floored the powerful son of Sparda over her mouth and giggling playfully. "Aww, baby all tired out? Maybe next time we'll just play dress up, hehehe-" she laughed childishly, that is until she was cut off by an enraged cry.

"Absurd fool!" Vergil shouted, standing several paces behind the girl, Yamato raised and hovering in deadly poise. The woman turned and raised one immaculate eyebrow quizzically, Vergil's disgusted snarl the opposite of her innocently curious expression. "I don't know who you are, but you don't belong here... Now LEAVE!" the elder Sparda said. Unlike his brash brother Vergil had analysed his opponent and did not intend to underestimate her.

Without warning he charged forwards quicker than the eye could see. The distance between them evaporated as he brought Yamato round in a slash so vicious the blade sung as it parted the air where she had been standing.

Vergil blinked, and upon feeling a gentle tap on his shoulder turned round, face first into a hand which for all its delicate appearance, slapped him almost out of his boots. The blue-clad devil was sent zooming horizontally into his brother who had just struggled to his feet, felling both Spardas as the girl chuckled, "I like you, you're feisty".

The twins lay gasping in a heap, Dante groaning for Vergil to get his elbow out of his eye, the two struggling to their feet as the woman advanced. They raised their weapons shakily, eying this mysterious being with confusion and serious concern at the dangerous extent of her unexplained, preposterous power. Striding forwards, she smirked darkly in a way that would have sent shivers down the twins' spines if they had allowed it.

"By the way" she said coyly, lazily raising a hand and twirling her fingers in a small circle. "My name, is Mary Sue" and with that a storm of dark energy erupted from her hand, rushing towards the brothers.

And in that moment the sons of Sparda were vanquished, not slain but bested by an evil entity of perverse, inadequately explained and cliché Über power that could bring even the mightiest of canon characters to their knees. Now unless unlikely heroes could rise to defeat this unlikely threat, the entire fandom and its beloved characters would never be freed from the curse, of Mary Sue...