Disclaimer: I do not own Tsubasa CLAMP owns them
Pairings: Slight Kuro x Fai

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If only things were different…then he would be a free man…but things weren't different and he wasn't a free man and probably never would be.

The blonde magician stared out of the open window watching the desert princess and the new Syaoran; they looked like they were having fun. Even if this wasn't the same teen the group had travelled with he still had similar qualities about him, they both shared the same goal to get the feathers for Sakura.

The mage lay back against the bed and sighed, it was so boring being cooped up in a room but he didn't want to see the kids in his current state. Infact Fai couldn't remember coming to this world and assumed that the group had moved on since he had passed out.

This would have meant that the kids had already seen him in his ragged and blood stained state. He raised a hand to where his eye had been but felt a material instead of his eye lid. He glanced to the mirror and saw a patch covering where his eye had once been. Fai couldn't help but smile at how they had helped him even without his awareness.

The door slowly opened, Fai could sense it even though he was looking the other way. He heard the heavy foot steps and knew that the person by the door was the ninja.

His suspicions were confirmed when said ninja placed something on the side and sat on the chair beside the bed.

"Your awake I see…" The voice was full of an unusual tone, one which had never been heard coming from the raven haired man.

Fai nodded but couldn't force a smile, not today, not now, hopefully not ever again. He wanted to smile only when happy but years of forced practise had taken its toll.

"Those two vampires told us a lot about your eating habits." The taller man was watching the blondes face carefully, making sure the smile didn't creep where it didn't belong. Somewhere in the back of his mind was a voice, a voice saying this was his entire fault.

"Did they?...oh…" He couldn't help but let the sadness and depression cover his voice. He wanted death not life…he wanted it over…he wanted to be strong and not have to depend on anyone. He wanted to be more like Kurogane.

"You're still able to eat normal food…I guess the blood is more like an energy drink than food…" The ninja decided now probably wasn't the best time to ask questions or probably even to talk. He rose from the chair and moved the tray to Fai's bed side then turned to leave.

Fai watched the dark haired man move the food closer, not that he really wanted to eat in the first place. He watched the man start to leave the room, leave him alone, leave him to himself.

"You want to know don't you…?" The voice was quiet and barely audible but the ninja heard it all too clear.

"Now isn't the time for it I know that and you know that." The raven haired man commented from over his shoulder.

"I don't care…it needs to be said and now…now might be my last chance…" Fai's voice was shaking and his head was bowed. Tears started welling up behind the ice blue eye.

"Please…Kurogane hear me out!"

It was the first time Kurogane had heard his full name and that had to mean that the mage was serious and not about to wimp out. He walked back to the seat by the bed but was caught before he reached it.

The cold pale skin was almost a snow white against his tanned wrist. He took the sudden latching to his wrist as a plead for the ninja to sit beside the weak magician.

"Why do you want to tall me? Why now? Why not when I first asked you?" Kurogane knew it wasn't the time for so many questions but his mind had raced ahead of his brain.

"You need to know…you didn't need to before but you so now…" The voice was serious as was the mages face. The magician's face was blank and sheet white yet he continued.

"You need to know about my country…my king…my mistake…" The tears started to trickle down the porcelain face and etch out the hidden features of worry and guilt on the man's face.

Although the ninja had been against all forms of crying this time was visibly different, he wiped a few tears from the pale man's face with one hand and grasped Fai's hand in his other.

"You don't need to…" he was cut off by the magician shaking his head.

"I'm going to tell you but don't tell Sakura or Mokona…you can tell Syaoran if you feel the need but not those two." His face had gained a small smile again but it was real…a real smile on Fai was a once in a lifetime sight so the ninja let it stay.

Fai took a breath and tried to calm his nerves while tightening his grip on the ninja's hand.