Disclaimer: (/me gets down on my knees and salaams the all powerful viacom, paramount, dc comics, december 3rd productions and warner brothers) For verily it is written that they have the power and the rights (to all but the plot, such as it is! and Mary Sue and Maggie--they're mine! Do you hear? All mine! Products of my deranged imagination! hahahahahahahaha!)
Ahem. Enjoy the story! (echoes of evil laughter!)
Writer's Block: A Mary Sue Intervention
The only thing we can do is strike!" Lois Lane said. She was
seated on the couch beside her husband, Clark Kent. Both she and
her husband were dressed casually, as though for a day off.
Clark slipped his arm around her shoulders. "I agree. But this has
to be unanimous or it won't work."
He shot a look at the others in Perry White's office. Jimmy Olsen,
clad in his usual jeans and T-shirt, leaned against the Chief's
desk. Perry himself was seated in the chair behind the desk,
wearing a Hawaiian shirt and shorts. Kathryn Janeway, the last
person in the group, wearing her usual StarFleet uniform, stood at
the window, observing the street below.
Perry leaned back in his chair and put his feet on the desk. "You
don't see me going anywhere, do you, son? I'm with you all the way
on this one!"
"Yeah! We don't have to put up with this kind of treatment any
more!" Jimmy chimed in.
"I don't know," Kathryn turned to face them. "Will a strike do us
any good? My crew is living on mushrooms right now. Do you have
any idea of what kind of torture that is? If we strike, the Author
might give us some more problems. I don't think my crew can take
it!"
"That's why we have to strike now, Kathryn!" Lois leaned forward
to emphasise her point. "If we don't let the story go any farther
forward, the Author'll have to negotiate! After all, the story is
nothing without us! Are you with us, Kathryn?"
Kathryn nodded decisively. "I'm with you!"
A humming whine sounded and a sixth person materialised in the
room. She was tall and slender, with the best figure anyone in the
room had seen outside of a comic book. Her long, reddish-blonde
hair was curled, and framed her delicately beautiful features. Her
emerald green form-fitted floor-length formal gown matched her eye
colour perfectly. Something about her seemed incredibly familiar -
- as though all of them had seen her somewhere before.
"Who are *you*?" Lois demanded, never one to let unexpected
arrivals put her off-guard.
"I'm the negotiator," the woman said. "You can call me Mary Sue."
"Mary Sue?" Jimmy said. His expression brightened as he looked her
over. "Aren't you the one who--"
"Visits various story-worlds, out-does the real characters and
steals the leading guy from the leading gal, and is actually a
representation of the Author as she wishes she was?" Mary Sue
smiled charmingly. "Yes, that would be me."
The door to the office opened to admit Maggie. She was dressed in
sweats and was running her fingers through her slightly damp hair
as she came in. "Sorry I'm late for the meeting, guys. I was held
up by a pile-up on the... hey! What are you doing here?"
Mary Sue smiled brightly at Maggie. "Hiya, Mags! You know, you
were almost me!"
"Get away from Jimmy!" If looks could kill, Mary Sue would have
been dust. "He's mine!"
"All right, all right!" Mary Sue held her hands up in the air.
"I'm not here for that this time, anyway."
"Then why *are* you here, Mary Sue?"
"Better sit down, honey," Perry advised. "She's here as an
emissary from the Author. She wants to negotiate with us."
"Really?" Maggie flashed Mary Sue a distrustful look, then gave
Perry a smile before she went over to Jimmy and sat on the desk
beside him. "Oh, good! Maybe our demands will finally be
answered!"
"Okay, Mary Sue," Lois brought the woman's attention back to her.
"Here are our demands: we want--"
"Yeah, yeah. I know, I know!" Mary Sue snapped her fingers, and a
PADD that looked suspiciously like the ones from Voyager appeared
in her hand. She scrolled down through the list. "Mmm-hmm, mmm-
hmm... better hours... yeah; more chocolate... uh-huh; a nice
uninterrupted shore leave on a nice planet -- that's do-able..."
Clark and Lois exchanged a hopeful look as Mary Sue went down the
list. Finally, she looked up. "Okay, most of these don't pose any
problems. What kind of guarantee are you willing to give the
Author that you'll resume work right away?"
"Will you take my word for it?" Clark asked.
Mary Sue smiled and looked Clark over thoroughly. "Of course,
gorgeous! Everyone knows Superhunk-- I mean, Super*man* doesn't
lie!"
Clark blushed a little under the frank scrutiny while Lois
bristled. "If our demands are met, we'll get back to work
immediately."
"Hmmm..." Mary Sue looked at the list of demands again. "Well, the
Author already has plans that meet some of these." She looked back
up at Lois and Clark. "Tsk, tsk, tsk! You know she doesn't write
Nfic!"
"Well, she can *try!*" Lois glared at Mary Sue. "Clark and I need
some serious quality time here!"
Mary Sue sighed prettily. "Well, she'll see what she can do. Are
you happy, now?"
"I think that about does it, Miss," Perry said.
"Good." The PADD vanished. "She'll start in on some of these
immediately. Some of the others may take a little time, though,
okay?"
"All right!" Lois grinned in triumph. "That was easier than I
thought it would be!"
"Well, when you're happy, the Author's happy." Mary Sue flashed
her girl-next-door smile at them and vanished in a flash of white
light.
Lois put one hand on the back of Clark's head and pulled his face
down for a long passionate kiss. The others tried to pretend they
weren't there.
Kathryn grinned. "I have to get back to Voyager and let my crew
know the good news!"
Perry stood and took her hand and kissed it. "Good luck, Kathy."
"Thanks, Perry. You too." She flashed him a grin, then tapped her
commbadge. "Janeway to Voyager. One to beam up. Energise." She
shimmered and vanished.
"Okay, kids, back to your places!" Perry ushered them out of his
office, breaking up Lois and Clark's kiss, which had been showing
signs of becoming much more than just a kiss. "Writer's block is
over for now! We may have to do this again, but for now, have fun,
and good luck!"
The End (or is that Re-Start? g)
Part two of the Threads Companion stories is Offending Maggie.
Ahem. Enjoy the story! (echoes of evil laughter!)
Writer's Block: A Mary Sue Intervention
The only thing we can do is strike!" Lois Lane said. She was
seated on the couch beside her husband, Clark Kent. Both she and
her husband were dressed casually, as though for a day off.
Clark slipped his arm around her shoulders. "I agree. But this has
to be unanimous or it won't work."
He shot a look at the others in Perry White's office. Jimmy Olsen,
clad in his usual jeans and T-shirt, leaned against the Chief's
desk. Perry himself was seated in the chair behind the desk,
wearing a Hawaiian shirt and shorts. Kathryn Janeway, the last
person in the group, wearing her usual StarFleet uniform, stood at
the window, observing the street below.
Perry leaned back in his chair and put his feet on the desk. "You
don't see me going anywhere, do you, son? I'm with you all the way
on this one!"
"Yeah! We don't have to put up with this kind of treatment any
more!" Jimmy chimed in.
"I don't know," Kathryn turned to face them. "Will a strike do us
any good? My crew is living on mushrooms right now. Do you have
any idea of what kind of torture that is? If we strike, the Author
might give us some more problems. I don't think my crew can take
it!"
"That's why we have to strike now, Kathryn!" Lois leaned forward
to emphasise her point. "If we don't let the story go any farther
forward, the Author'll have to negotiate! After all, the story is
nothing without us! Are you with us, Kathryn?"
Kathryn nodded decisively. "I'm with you!"
A humming whine sounded and a sixth person materialised in the
room. She was tall and slender, with the best figure anyone in the
room had seen outside of a comic book. Her long, reddish-blonde
hair was curled, and framed her delicately beautiful features. Her
emerald green form-fitted floor-length formal gown matched her eye
colour perfectly. Something about her seemed incredibly familiar -
- as though all of them had seen her somewhere before.
"Who are *you*?" Lois demanded, never one to let unexpected
arrivals put her off-guard.
"I'm the negotiator," the woman said. "You can call me Mary Sue."
"Mary Sue?" Jimmy said. His expression brightened as he looked her
over. "Aren't you the one who--"
"Visits various story-worlds, out-does the real characters and
steals the leading guy from the leading gal, and is actually a
representation of the Author as she wishes she was?" Mary Sue
smiled charmingly. "Yes, that would be me."
The door to the office opened to admit Maggie. She was dressed in
sweats and was running her fingers through her slightly damp hair
as she came in. "Sorry I'm late for the meeting, guys. I was held
up by a pile-up on the... hey! What are you doing here?"
Mary Sue smiled brightly at Maggie. "Hiya, Mags! You know, you
were almost me!"
"Get away from Jimmy!" If looks could kill, Mary Sue would have
been dust. "He's mine!"
"All right, all right!" Mary Sue held her hands up in the air.
"I'm not here for that this time, anyway."
"Then why *are* you here, Mary Sue?"
"Better sit down, honey," Perry advised. "She's here as an
emissary from the Author. She wants to negotiate with us."
"Really?" Maggie flashed Mary Sue a distrustful look, then gave
Perry a smile before she went over to Jimmy and sat on the desk
beside him. "Oh, good! Maybe our demands will finally be
answered!"
"Okay, Mary Sue," Lois brought the woman's attention back to her.
"Here are our demands: we want--"
"Yeah, yeah. I know, I know!" Mary Sue snapped her fingers, and a
PADD that looked suspiciously like the ones from Voyager appeared
in her hand. She scrolled down through the list. "Mmm-hmm, mmm-
hmm... better hours... yeah; more chocolate... uh-huh; a nice
uninterrupted shore leave on a nice planet -- that's do-able..."
Clark and Lois exchanged a hopeful look as Mary Sue went down the
list. Finally, she looked up. "Okay, most of these don't pose any
problems. What kind of guarantee are you willing to give the
Author that you'll resume work right away?"
"Will you take my word for it?" Clark asked.
Mary Sue smiled and looked Clark over thoroughly. "Of course,
gorgeous! Everyone knows Superhunk-- I mean, Super*man* doesn't
lie!"
Clark blushed a little under the frank scrutiny while Lois
bristled. "If our demands are met, we'll get back to work
immediately."
"Hmmm..." Mary Sue looked at the list of demands again. "Well, the
Author already has plans that meet some of these." She looked back
up at Lois and Clark. "Tsk, tsk, tsk! You know she doesn't write
Nfic!"
"Well, she can *try!*" Lois glared at Mary Sue. "Clark and I need
some serious quality time here!"
Mary Sue sighed prettily. "Well, she'll see what she can do. Are
you happy, now?"
"I think that about does it, Miss," Perry said.
"Good." The PADD vanished. "She'll start in on some of these
immediately. Some of the others may take a little time, though,
okay?"
"All right!" Lois grinned in triumph. "That was easier than I
thought it would be!"
"Well, when you're happy, the Author's happy." Mary Sue flashed
her girl-next-door smile at them and vanished in a flash of white
light.
Lois put one hand on the back of Clark's head and pulled his face
down for a long passionate kiss. The others tried to pretend they
weren't there.
Kathryn grinned. "I have to get back to Voyager and let my crew
know the good news!"
Perry stood and took her hand and kissed it. "Good luck, Kathy."
"Thanks, Perry. You too." She flashed him a grin, then tapped her
commbadge. "Janeway to Voyager. One to beam up. Energise." She
shimmered and vanished.
"Okay, kids, back to your places!" Perry ushered them out of his
office, breaking up Lois and Clark's kiss, which had been showing
signs of becoming much more than just a kiss. "Writer's block is
over for now! We may have to do this again, but for now, have fun,
and good luck!"
The End (or is that Re-Start? g)
Part two of the Threads Companion stories is Offending Maggie.