Title: Clearing Her Head

Author: Tsarina Smith PG-13

Disclaimer: Lets see... What do I own… hmm. I own designer handbags, a bookcase full of chick lit, 3 crammed DVD racks and the most beautiful emerald green coat you've ever seen. But I don't own JAG. Damn it.

Spoilers: Lifeline mainly. HOWEVER. The show has been over for a year. Consider the whole series fair game.

Summary: After the infamous engagement party, Mac has a lot of thinking to do.

Authors Notes I'm sorry. But Lifeline shouldn't have ended how it did. As possessive as Brumby was of Mac, I find it very hard to believe that he would have been okay with her spending their entire engagement party with Harm. And knowing how possessive Harm is of Mac, I find it equally hard to believe that he's just going to give up when he finally realizes what they could have together. I'm sorry, I know there are about two million Lifeline fics out there, but I watched the episode twice today and I just have to put in my two cents about it. And I really don't feel like working on a history take home exam.

Part One

"Thank you for a great evening, Admiral." Mic said. He extended his hand to the older man, who responded with a firm shake.

AJ smiled at the guests of honor. "It was my pleasure." He released Mic's hand and turned to Mac. She moved forward and gave him a brief, shy hug. "Good seeing you, Mic. Mac, I'll see you at the office on Monday."

She nodded. "Thank you for everything sir. Goodnight." She pulled her wrap around her bare shoulders, and let Mic guide her outside.

There were only three cars left, so they didn't have to wait long at all for the parking attendant to bring the little red Corvette to them. Mic opened the door for her, shut it forcefully before moving to the drivers side. He curled his large body into the small seat and looked straight ahead.

"Mic, is everything okay? Would you like me to drive?"

He shook his head. "No. I'm fine. I only had two glasses of wine."

"Then what's the matter?"

Mic looked over at her, hurt and anger burning in his dark eyes. "What's the matter?" He repeated. I'll tell you what's the matter. Tonight was our engagement party. OUR engagement party. And you spent the entire evening on the damn porch with Rabb!"

A pink flush spread over her cheeks. "Mic, we were just discussing a case."

"A case! Talking about a case is more important then spending the evening with me? Well then. Maybe I shouldn't have resigned my commission. Then I'd have cases you'd show an interest in and maybe you'd spend some time with me."

"I do spend time with you."

He shook his head. "No. You don't. Not really. You give me your body. And don't get me wrong, I love it. But I don't get you. I don't get the part of you that Rabb gets, and I never will."

Mac closed her eyes and drifted back to the kiss they shared earlier that evening. The kiss was so intense. So desperate. The way he had crushed her to him and kissed her as if he was a dying man in desperate need for life that only she could give him. She had never been kissed like that before. And she wondered if he had ever kissed another woman with the same intensity he had kissed her with. "Mic, I'm tired. And it's late. Can we talk about this later?"

"Sure, Sarah. Whatever you say." They made the drive back to her apartment in silence. He dropped her off, turned down her offer to come inside, and went back to his own apartment for the first time in weeks.

And the worst part: she was relieved.

"Mac, we need to talk."

She had just stepped off of the elevator and he was already bombarding her with requests she was in no mood to accommodate. "Harm, now is not the time."

"Mac-"

Mac shook her head. "No. We are not going into this here."

He was persistent. He wrapped his hand around her wrist to stop her from running. "We have to talk about what happened between us last night."

She jerked her wrist away. "Not. Right. Now." She hissed. "God!" She stormed away and into her office slamming the door behind her. "Now he wants to talk. Absolutely wonderful."

The week went by extremely to slow for Mac. Every morning Harm met her by the elevator, determined to make her talk to him. Every morning she stormed into her office in a huff. Every evening Mic would stop by and question her about her actual feelings till she told him to leave. He would disappear back to his apartment and the next morning the vicious circle would start over again. By Thursday, she had had it.

"Tiner, is the Admiral in?"

The young petty officer nodded and picked up the phone to see if he was busy. "Sir, Colonel MacKenzie would like a moment with you."

"Send her in, Tiner." He leaned back in his seat and watched as Mac walked in his office and shut the door behind her. "Everything ok, Colonel?"

She took a seat in front of his desk and looked up at him. "No sir. Everything is definitely not ok."

He stood and walked over to the other side of his desk and took the seat next to her. "What's wrong, Mac?" He decided that this was definitely not about anything professional.

"Sir, I don't even know where to start."

"Start from the beginning." For the next 47 minutes, he sat their listening as she laid out her complicated relationships with Harm and Mic, ending with the events the night of her engagement party.

'Wow.' AJ thought. 'No wonder she's looked so stressed this week.' He cleared his throat. "Mac, why don't you take Friday and Monday off, and go somewhere this weekend and just clear your head."

She shook her head. "I can't, sir. There is so much I need to get done. My wedding is two weeks from Saturday, the Scully court martial starts Wednesday and I just can't."

AJ placed his hand on top of hers and squeezed. "You're right. Your wedding is two weeks from Saturday. You asked me to give you away, Mac, and I want to give you away to the right man. You need to get all of these feelings figured out and clear your head before you potentially make a catastrophic mistake. Take a few days. Just go somewhere and don't let Rabb or Brumby know where. Hell, I'll even tell them you're off investigating a case."

Mac took a few deep breaths and nodded. "You're right, Admiral. You're absolutely right. I'll take Friday and Monday off and be back first thing Tuesday."

He smiled. "Good. Now go get your desk squared away and take the rest of the day. I doubt you'll get much done anyways."

"Yes sir. Thank you for everything."

"No problem, Mac. I hope you figure everything out."

"Me too, sir. Me too."

She was back in her office, cramming filed in her briefcase when Harm tapped gently on the door. "Heading out for the day?"

"Yeah. I'm actually going out of town for a few days for an investigation of sorts."

"Oh." He was a little surprised at this. "Did it just come up?"

She nodded. "Mm-hmm. The Admiral just told me about it. I'll be back Monday night."

She gathered her things and started to squeeze by him when he put his hand on her shoulder, which abruptly stopped her. "I'm sorry about this week, Sarah. I know I've kind of been pressuring you. I don't mean to do that. We just have so much between us that needs to get worked out."

For the first time all week, she agreed with him. "I know. And we will. We'll talk when I get back, ok."

He nodded. "Ok." He dropped his hand and gave her a soft smile. "Have a safe trip."

End Part One

So? What did you think? After ending "Sooner or Later" I had planned on writing a fic dealing with the baby deal, and the episode "Standard of Conduct", but after watching "Lifeline" today, I couldn't resist.

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