Double Entendre
One-shot. Larxene walks past the door to Axel's room, and gets an earful of an...interesting conversation. No, it isn't what you think (or is it?). T for inappropriate humor.
A/N: Hee hee... I had fun writing this. Inspired by random conversations between myself and Jade Rhade while playing KHII.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything remotely Kingdom Hearts related, happy?
"Where are Eight and Thirteen?" Saïx demanded. Superior had called a meeting, and the entirety of Organization XIII was in attendance...except for Axel and Roxas. "They were supposed to be here five minutes ago."
Most of the members shrugged and went back to doing random boredom-related things. Xigbar was waxing his surfboard, Xaldin was fixing one of his braids that had fallen out of place, Lexaeus was shaving by his reflection in Vexen's shield, Demyx was composing yet another ode to his sitar, Luxord was cheating at solitaire, Larxene was basically sitting around looking badass, and Marluxia was making a daisy chain. Nobody paid much attention to Xemnas' meetings except Saïx and Zexion anyway, so no one really cared if Axel or Roxas showed up at all.
Zexion sniffed the air, as if hunting for a scent. Everyone leaned close in interest, until...
"Ahh-CHOO!" Zexion sneezed right in their faces. When everyone glared daggers at him, he shrugged defensively and said, "Marluxia's flowers are giving me hay fever. Eight and Thirteen are somewhere upstairs."
While Marluxia and Zexion got into a screaming argument over flowers and the various scents thereof, Larxene volunteered, "I'll go get them, okay? Sheesh..."
She stalked up Ruin and Creation's Passage, down the Hallway of Infinite Doors, past the Bathroom of Emotional Constipation (points for the movie reference), and she finally stood outside...Axel's Room. What, you were expecting a funky title?
"Oh, they're gonna get some serious pain inflicted on their backsides right here," Larxene muttered with an air of grim satisfaction as she adjusted her grip on her knives. Suddenly, though, she was interrupted in her sadistic musings by an outburst from within the room.
"TELL ME I'M SEXY!" Axel shouted from inside the room. Larxene froze, blinked, and heard him continue, "TELL ME I'M GORGEOUS, TELL ME I'M KICK-ASS, AND TELL ME THAT I JUST OWNED YOUR BALLS!"
"NO WAY, MAN!" Roxas shouted back. "YOUR BALLS ARE MINE!"
Larxene paled. What in the name of Xehanort's Heartless...? she thought, but Axel was shouting again.
"I EAT YOU! I'LL EAT YOUR BALLS FOR BREAKFAST! YOU CAN NEVER HOPE TO SATE MY HUNGAAA!"
"OH YEAH? THEN BE PREPARED TO TASTE THE WRATH OF MY CLUB!"
"IT'S NOT AS BIG AS MINE!"
"HAH! YOUR PUNY BALLS ARE MINE AT LAST! YOU HAVE NO BALLS LEFT!"
"Fine! You win this round, but next time, I'll come out on top!"
"Bring it on! My MOTHER HAS MORE BALLS THAN YOU!"
"Oh, so you've done this before?"
"Yeah, but NEVER LIKE THIS! TRIPLE-X, BABY!"
Larxene turned sheet-white and ran off screaming down the hallway.
Inside the room, Axel and Roxas, sitting fully clothed on opposite ends of the couch with a video game controller in each pair of hands, looked at each other, shrugged, and went back to playing "XXX-Ultimate Struggle Fighting Championship 3."
THE END
A/N: Haha! I had to. I just did. This one-shot was inspiried by some amusing conversations that Jade and I had while playing through the Struggle tournament sections of KHII. Try it! It's fun.