Disclaimer: Degrassi and all it's characters belong to their creaters and to Epitome Pictures Inc. It's all fun and games until someone gets sued for copyright infringement, also any songs used in the writing of this fic belong to their owners (and are credited in each chapter, feel free to help them by listening to their music). Any original characters are owned by me, yup, I made them, i.e. Mark Orion, and Kemmie (as well as the Lake View Crew and the Middlebourough Group Therapy kids, Dr. Mo and Dr. Crescent).

A/N: Dear Readers: sorry for the decently long wait when it came to the first chapter of this final installment of the Elan (Ellie/Sean) Trilogy. I've had a lot going on and was figuring out the pacing and such as well as any plot points I really wanted to hit hard on. This is it, the last fic and yes, it will be 25 chapters ( I have this thing with keeping them the same like that), also if you want me to respond to any reviews and questions either sign in when you leave a review or leave your email address in the appropriate space so I can respond. I can't fathom how many times I've wanted to respond but were unable to. Anyways, enjoy the read, next chapter will be up in a week or so (it's about half way finished and then will be looked over for any mistakes that I miss, though they slip by anyone). MJ.

A sudden slip between my pathetic sedatives
A real life script of how mistakes became a medicine.
So delay the hurt for words of complicated overcast.
Please take the message that I'm picking up my chin at last.
I said my confidence, it gets stronger when you're next to me.
But we pray for moms away in quest for what we long to be

Blue October "Everlasting Friend"

'I never thought I'd be in school before homeroom,' Sean thought to himself as he laid underneath the nearly finished car for the expo, 'then again I never thought I could get Jay or Amy here either.'

"Jay, can you hand me that ratchet?" Sean asked. He stuck his hand out from beneath the car, waiting for his friend to drop a tool into his hand. When no ratchet appeared in his awaiting open palm he rolled out from under the car to see Jay leaning against the car deep in thought and obviously not paying attention. Sean stood up and grabbed himself a ratchet, but before easing himself back under the elevated car he leaned against the front bumper of the car next to Jay.

"So, you gunna help with this or are you just going to throw this project out the window?"

Jay looked over at Sean, "huh?"

Sean rolled his eyes and wiped his brow with the blue bandana tied around his wrist, "did you finish with whatever magic you were working under the hood, man?"

Jay shook himself out of his thoughts, "yea man, everything's all ready to roll."

Sean looked around the shop and saw Amy lazily working on upholstering the two racing seats that scrounged up. "Where's Alex?" he asked, wondering why Alex wasn't working on the body kit.

Jay shrugged, "hell if I know…"

Sean glared, "did you still wanna do a full audio system, with subs and speakers?" he asked changing the subject, noticing that Alex was not a subject he wanted to speak about.

"Yea man, I picked up some speakers the other day and I'm getting the subs and everything else tonight, I'll wire it up tomorrow during lunch."

"you're not eating with us?" Sean asked.

"nah, I'll just duck out during remedial math or gym or what ever it is I usually skip before lunch," Jay answered as he twiddled a screwdriver between his fingers and caught site of Amy staring at him, and then caught sight of her smirking. He dropped the screwdriver into Sean's hands, "I'll be right back man, I'm gunna go help Amy out for a sec."

Sean watched in confusion as Jay walked over to Amy and tugged her arm and drug her through the door to speak in the hallway. He shook his head and rolled himself back under the car.

"What's with the looks?" Jay asked angrily.

Amy pouted, "what are you talking about Jay?"

Jay just shrugged, "whatever…" he muttered, "I told Alex."

Amy laughed, "yea…right." She turned to leave him, "you're serious, aren't you?"

"No, I told my girlfriend I was cheating her because I thought it would be funny." Jay rubbed the back of his neck, "stay away from me, stay away from Alex, stay away from Sean and Ellie, you're a fucking disease Amy."

"Jay…" she reached out to grab his arm and he tugged it away, "…baby."

"fuck you…you fucked up the best thing I ever had."

Amy laughed, "I fucked it up? I only offered, you said yes," cocking her head and smirking. "Don't blame your decisions on me because you don't know how to say no."

"I'm a guy Amy."

Amy laughed, "yea, like that has anything to do with it." Amy rolled her eyes as Jay shook his head at her statement. "If you cared…at all about Alex, and if you were a real man, you would have said no in a heartbeat."

Jay snorted, "what I do with you…with other girls has nothing to do with how I feel about Alex."

"uh huh…because you know, cheating on girls is how you prove how much you love her."

"fuck you." Jay said and walked back into auto-shop garage.

"Oh Jay?" he stopped mid step to listen, "tell Sean I'm finished with the seats." With that being said she walked walked down the hall swinging her hips. Jay rolled his hands into fists so tight his knuckles turned white. He was always taught never to hit a girl, sometimes he wondered if Amy was human, let alone a girl.

Jay walked over to the car and grabbed Sean's leg, pulling him out from under the car, "Amy says she's done with the seats." Jay mentioned.

Sean sat up leaning his back against the front bumper, "good, she finished the interior, and the upholstering on some of the interior last week…I think we're almost done, I got a bit of tinkering to do under here," he said motioning to the undercarriage of the car, "and under the hood, and we're just waiting on Alex's paint job on the kit, and your audio work with the stereo."

Jay nodded, "I'm gunna get—"

"Sean…"

He looked up to see Alex standing rigidly uncomfortable in the presence of Jay. He reached for a rag and wiped grease from his hands and reached for Jay's hand to pull him to his feet. "I'll see you later man…" Jay said. Sean nodded and he turned to Alex, watching as Jay turned in towards her, almost to kiss her, but she flashed him a dangerous glare that threatened keeping his manhood intact. He pulled back and left the garage.

"The kit's close to being done, I primed it last week, and painted the first coat a cream kinda, champagne color …taped of a great design …"

"and…" Sean asked waiting for her to finish her explanation.

"I can't finish painting Sean…"

"why?"

"I…er…I haven't been feeling well, and fumes and what not…"

Sean smiled, "it's alright, he said…" watching as she stood uncomfortably in the room, her arms folded aross her chest. "I can finish it today after school,…what color are you painting the second coat that's under the tape?"

"I was going with a candy apple red…"

Sean nodded, "sounds sweet," he said, and then noticing her looking a bit peaky and green in the face he suggested she get going, because she looked like she was going to be sick.

(-X-)

Ellie sat in the middle of her room. The hardwood floor cool against her bare skin as she sat in a pair of short boxer shorts and a long sleeved shirt. She looked around her room, from wall to wall. Posters of every band she'd ever seen live, movie posters, mostly documentary posters. She felt herself shiver at the thought of leaving her mother. She loved and hated her mother in the same breath. Loved her mother because it's her mother, the same woman who let her dress up on superhero costumes and prance around the backyard like a lunatic; this was the same woman who cried for Ellie every time she came waddling in with a bruise or a cut, the same woman who also drank herself to pieces whenever her husband left. Sometimes Ellie wondered why her mother couldn't stay sober for the daughter that still loved her. Was she not as important as her father?

Ellie sighed. She promised her one last straw, one more slip up on her mother's part and she was gone from this house, at least until her father was home on a more permanent basis.

"Eleanor…" Ellie turned to her closed bedroom door at the sound of her mother's voice echoing down the hall. Ellie rose to her feet and walked over to the door and pulled it open just in time to watch her mother grip the door frame to keep her balance, her gin and tonic sloshing in her hand.

"Yes mother?" Ellie said, verbally expressing her dislike in her mother's drinking habits.

"you were in your room, alone," her mother whined angrily.

"and?"

"and you're probably cutting yourself, aren't ya?" Judy said getting unnecessarily upset.

"no Mom, I'm just getting ready for school," she answered, "why are you drinking so early?" Ellie immediately regretting asking that question, seeing as how she knew, in a few moments, that her mother would become extremely defensive of her decisions.

"Oh, like you're one to talk Eleanor," Judy spat.

Ellie just rolled her eyes, "what ever Mom, I'm gunna get ready for school," and went to close her door when her mother jammed it with her foot.

"Don't you get an attitude with me Eleanor."

"I'm not getting an attitude with you Mom, I just want to get ready for school." Ellie turned away from the door and walked to her dresser and pulled out a gray and black skirt, some black leg warmers and a small and tight gray t-shirt, and threw them on her messy bed. She dug around in her top drawer and pulled out a pair of underwear and a bra, and tossed them on the pile, and catching her mother staring at her choice of dress.

"You're not wearing that are you?" her mother asked.

"yes, why?" Ellie asked checking the time on her digital alarm clock. She had about an hour to get a shower, dressed, and get to school.

"it's short sleeves, people will see your cuts."

"So…"

"So Eleanor, I do not need the world knowing my daughter is a freak."

Ellie stopped dead in her tracks, "what did you say?"

Judy took a sip of her morning cocktail, "I said I don't need the world knowing my daughter is a freak, think about me Eleanor, think about your father…this makes us look bad."

"God forbid everything is about you." Ellie said angrily as she pushed past her mother on the way to the bathroom, and locked herself in. Turning to shower she turned it on and waited until the room was practically filled with steam before hopping in. And when she was finally in the refuge of the bathroom, in the shower, she finally let herself breakdown.

If there were one thing that got to her literally every time it was her mother's drunken insults. It was almost as if her mother only had the guts to insult her own daughter while she was wasted on nothing less than eighty proof.

Every time they'd move with Greg's job she was met with glares and stares from people who didn't know her. Freak, vampire, Goth Girl. Thinking over the list of names she'd been called by her peers she was worried for herself as to why it never bothered her. And then tilting her head up to face the running water from the shower head she remembered, those people didn't know her…she was someone new, but she was never new to her mother. Her mother just never seemed to accept her, whether she was the perfect princess having tea parties with her girlfriends after pre-school, or the rocker-esque girl with the wild hair fiddling with a camera.

"strike three, you're out…sorry Mom," she said to herself and finished with her shower.

(-X-)

Craig walked through the halls in a daze, looking at everyone suspiciously as if they all knew already that there was something wrong with him, that he was completely crazy. "They know, they all know," he whispered to himself. He ran his fingers through his curly mop of hair and stepped in front of his locker, spinning his combination with ease. As he traded books in his locker he looked down the hall to see Manny walking with Emma, Toby, and JT. He quickly closed his locker, and rushed to catch Manny before she walked into homeroom.

Manny spun around as Craig gently grabbed her wrist. "Hi, Craig…" she said softly as she looked up at him. Emma watched on nervously, wondering if Craig were going to flip out or stay calm. It seemed to be an undeterminable thing these days.

Craig rubbed the back of his neck nervously, "can I talk to you a minute?" he asked. Manny looked back at her friends who nodded for her to go ahead. Toby and JT walked into the classroom. Emma stood just outside the door frame, watching cautiously, and in worry for her best friend. A strange term for someone she fought with so often that the situation was disparaging. It's often said that love knows no boundaries, and often a lover finds no faults in their lover, despite how many they do seem to have. That no matter how many times a mother and child fight they do love each other. And best friends is often a term not loosely thrown around once you know what it truly means, a term that means something almost like family. Manny was family. "I don't have time to break in a new best friend," Emma thought to herself.

Emma watched closely, watching Craig's habits, watching Manny, everything looked okay. "Hey Em," Sean said walking up and into homeroom. She turned to him and smiled gently.

"Hey Sean, how are things on the homestead?" she asked holding her binder to her chest, occasionally glancing over towards Manny and Craig.

Sean followed her gaze, "they giving it a go again?"

"Seems to happen to the best of us…" Emma answered watching them, and then immediately blushing as she caught wind of her own words. Sean smirked and laughed to himself. "So…you and Ellie?" she asked, quickly trying to change the subject from her crude suggestion that the pair start their usual dance again.

"Still going good, real good actually…"

"Oh?" Emma asked interestedly but then catching sight of Craig on the verge of getting frustrated.

"Yea, I she's thinking about moving in with me and Tracker…"

"Really?" Emma asked almost jealously, but then saw Manny turning towards her, pleading for an out, "just a sec Sean," she said trying to help Manny get away from Craig. Emma quickly excused Manny on account of needing to get to homeroom and drug her inside the classroom, Sean following suspiciously behind.

Manny grabbed a seat next to JT and Emma was quickly slowed when Sean grabbed her arm. "What was that about?" he asked.

"I'm not sure, Craig's been acting a little out of it lately…"

"You mean kind of like he did around the time …" Sean paused for a moment, not wanting to bring up Craig's dirty laundry unnecessarily.

"not quite…just going from happy to sad or angry," she answered, "Manny obviously just felt really uncomfortable there for a minute, I can tell you more later…if you want to know."

Sean nodded. "Sure, that's cool," he said and slipped into his seat in the back of the room and kicked his feet up onto his desk.

"What happened with Craig?" Emma asked as she slid into the seat beside Manny.

"It was just weird, he told me that, he knew everyone already knew," Manny said, obviously confused by the words she was saying.

"Knew what?"
Manny shrugged, "do you think he means about my…"

"No, the only people who knew were me and you, and well, him, and I don't think he told anyone else, it's not their business to know." Emma said, sure of her words.

"Then what could he mean…"

"Maybe he meant that he knows people think he's crazy or something…"

"but he's not crazy, just a little, off beat ya know?" Manny said as Emma nodded understandingly and quickly quieted as their teacher entered the room.

(-X-)

"She actually said that?" Ashley asked in disbelief as Ellie retold the story of her mother in a drunken moment that morning.

Ellie laughed, she wasn't sure why but the whole situation was pretty much ridiculous. "Yup, called me a freak, and basically said I shamed the family but being well…me." Ellie answered as she twirled her wavy red hair around her finger. "It's just kinda sad that she called me a freak and I'm probably the sanest one between the two of us."

Ashley laughed uncomfortably. Uncomfortably because of the fact that she wouldn't know what she would do if her mother ever called her a freak, or treated her the same way Judy Nash was treating her own flesh and blood. "So you're really moving in with Sean…?"

"Yea…" Ellie said blushing, "I don't think I could spend another moment with someone as self destructive as that."

"Don't you think that's a bit hypocritical?" Ashley asked.

"No, the difference between me and her is, I know when I'm being self destructive and I'm not afraid to get help, not anymore anyways."

Ashley shrugged, "I guess…"

"How's Mark?" Ellie asked changing the subject on their walk into homeroom.

"He's taking this whole heart transplant thing really hard…I researched post-op depression online last night and…"Ellie smiled as her friend fell into her usual dutiful act of declaring her research skills. "…I think I'm going to break up with him…"

Ellie spun her head so quickly she nearly fell over, "what do you mean? Why?"

"Because I can't handle the stress…"

"You're just…" Ellie couldn't even finish the sentence, and then she caught site grabbed Marco by his polo collar and turned him towards Ashley, "tell her she's stupid."

"You're stupid?" Marco said questioning his belief in the words he was saying, he chuckled for a moment and then recoiled as Ashley flashed him a disaster wielding glare. "sorry, she told me to say it," and tried to hide behind Ellie.

"I can't believe you'd be so selfish," Ellie said.

"Again with the hypocrisy Ellie," Ashley argued as they stopped at her locker, "you and Sean took a break because you both needed to for selfish reasons…" she opened her locker, "in the end we know you could have helped each other."

"No one knows that Ashley…" Ellie said, "but you, we've been over this, you revert to your cave every time something goes wrong, you can't do that, it's called running away."

Ashley sighed, "I don't want to cause him more problems," she answered, "I don't want me and my problems to be the stress that ruins this chance for his healthy heart."

"That's not it and you know it, this is about you," Ellie argued, "it's always about you."

"no it's not!" Ashley responded, and then for a moment she was at a loss for words. She looked down into her locker and grabbed her journal.

"I don't mean it in a bad way," Ellie said softly, "you're never really happy, it's almost like your scared to be happy."

Ashley turned to her best friend, eyes red from fighting back tears and Marco placed a comforting arm around her shoulders, "I'm the happiest I've been in a while, or…I feel like I should be happy, but I'm not…"

"What do you mean?" Ellie asked, "you feel like you should be…"

"Mark's alive, he made it through surgery, I have the most amazing boyfriend who doesn't cheat on me, you're back, I have a great year ahead of me next year, and well it's just…I don't feel happy, but I should be right?" Ellie nodded, " I mean, I feel like I did after I found out about Craig…I feel like this…all the time, I don't want to put Mark through this…he shouldn't have to deal with me."

"I'm sure he's feeling the same way, with how he's feeling," Marco said, offering his piece.

Ashley smiled weakly, "so I shouldn't break up with him?"

Ellie rolled her eyes and Marco's jaw dropped, "this is what we've been talking about?" Marco asked, "Ashley wants to break up with her gorgeous boyfriend!" Marco removed his arm from her shoulders and lightly smacked the back of her head, "you're stupid."

Ashley looked at Ellie and the pair started laughing, "come on Marco, we're going to be late," Ashley said linking arms with him and him linking arms with Ellie.

"So what are the plans for after school ladies?" Marco asked.

"Dress shopping?" Ashley asked.

"I'm covered," Ellie answered smiling as she thought about the dress she'd bought with Marco and Orion at the thrift store.

"Hm, I think Paige and Hazel still need dresses," Marco answered, "I mean if you think you can put up with Paige when she's shopping," he said looking between me and Ashley.

"I don't mind going,…I still need…" Ellie answered and thought for a moment about what else she needed.

"Shoes? Because there is no way I'm letting you wear your clunky combat boots to that dance," Marco said.

Ashley laughed as Ellie frowned, "what's wrong with my boots," she pouted.

"Nothing, they just don't go with the dress," Marco answered.

"How do they not go with the dress!" Ellie shrieked, "they're both black!"

Ashley laughed, "forget him, just come and keep me company, it's been a long time since I've gone shopping with Paige, I might strangle her…"

Ellie laughed, "that'd make the world a lot easier…"

"yes, and less fashionable," Marco answered sadly.