Chapter 1

Verdict

Horatio had made him a promise and had kept it. Forbes had been found guilty of vehicular homicide. Maximum sentence - in spite of the best efforts of the legal team, including Ryan's father. At last Ryan had some closure. It would not, could not bring back his friends nor his lost relationship with his family but perhaps the voices in his head would now quieten.

He hadn't been sure how he would react if Forbes was convicted, with his father on the case, Ryan seriously doubted this moment would ever come but he'd reckoned without the tenacity of Horatio and the MDPD. He thought that he'd feel something - elation, relief, something - but not this.

Standing on the Courthouse steps, he was struggling to keep control. He felt her hand brush against his then her fingers gently wrapped around his hand. She was always there for him now, as were the rest of the team. They'd learned more about Ryan in the last few months than in the two years he'd been working with them, and everyone felt guilty how they'd treated the young CSI. They understood him now, how he lived each and every day in his own private hell, a self imposed exile from the rest of the world - but how, more than anything he just wanted to be accepted once again.

He could remember how it had been before the accident and he mourned for those days as he mourned his friends. He couldn't look at Calleigh, he knew she was looking at him with loving concern, and he couldn't take it now, it was so difficult to stop the tears that burned his eyes.

The close party of four - Ryan, Calleigh, Horatio and Eric moved towards the Hummer. Ryan and Calleigh getting into the rear of the vehicle. Once out of public eyes, Ryan folded. It was so hard to take in. Forbes had been found guilty of the manslaughter of the young family, but the murder of his six friends, almost seven years previously, could not be taken into account.

"Lauren, I have to go see Lauren, and the others. I have to tell them" he said tonelessly.

"Would you like me to come with you?" Calleigh asked.

Ryan looked at her and nodded.

"Horatio?"

"Sure, Calleigh, I think the circumstances are so unusual we could let you both go. Besides, it isn't the kind of trip he should make alone." He glanced at Ryan who was holding his head in his hands. The young man's grip on reality was slipping away and Calleigh was the only anchor he had. Although the lab needed her, Ryan's need was greater.