Enlightened

A/N) Yes, I know it's long, but hey, it was rainy and I got into it.

Kit scribbled furiously at his book report in the Rodriguez kitchen.

Kit was angry.

Kit was angry at the world.

Kit was angry at the universe.

And Kit was most definatly angry at his sister.

In fact, he was even angry at the paper that he continued to scribble away on, furiously because he was Kit, and he was Mad.

. . . And then his pencil broke.

He stared at it angrily, wondering whether to smash it into very small pieces, or to just hurl it across the room with much force behind it. Both options had their bonuses.

If he smashed it, then he could then he could watch the pencil pay, for daring to break on him when he was in such a tremendously bad mood.

But if he threw it, he could break the pencil and possibly whatever it hit while airborne.

"Kit, why are you preparing to throw that pencil?"

Kit glared at Nita for daring to ask such a question. Not only did she dare ask Angry Kit a question, she asked Angry Kit a question when he couldn't ANSWER!

"Kit, put the pencil down."

He lowered his arm a bit, though it was very difficult for him to do, and the look on his face suggested that the action was physically paining him.

"Lower . . . lower . . . There you go!" Nita smiled. "Now, tell me, why are you trying to break that pencil into many small pieces?"

He opened his mouth to answer, then caught himself. He put the pencil down, it would have to receive its due punishment later, and leafed through his spiral trying to find a page that wasn't covered with angry stick person battle scenes and math notes.

Because, it broke.

Kit slid the paper over to Nita, who read the messy scrawl.

"Do you have any other pencils you could possibly use in this situation?"

He paused for a moment, and then slowly, sheepishly nodded his head.

"Then use one of those, or better yet," Nita went through her pencil bag, and unearthed an object from the very bottom, "Here's a pen."

Thank you, Kit wrote on his little piece of paper.

And then he went back to furiously scribbling at his book report.

Kit was angry.

Kit was angry at the world.

Kit was angry at the uni—

"Kit?"

Kit was interrupted in the middle of his internal rant.

What?

"Why are you so quiet? Normally you're really loud and never shut up, is some— hey, HEY! Don't break the pen!"

Nita reached over and slowly eased the pen from his hands, as he tried to snap the pen into Little Tiny Pen Bits of Frustration. She replaced the pen with a marker, which she hoped would be harder to break.

He wondered if she felt that strange tingling when she pried his hands apart with all her strength as he did.

…Na, he was probably just hallucinating due to anger. The horrible, aching, burning anger directed at one person, the person who had just inadvertently caused the worst day of his life. The person who he lovingly called his sister.

"Kit!"

What! He wrote, annoyed at being interrupted whilst trying to silently fume. Silently because he wasn't allowed to fume loudly, when one of the things he wanted most at the present time was to rant to Nita as loudly as possible. Emphasis on the loudly. Which he had been lacking in all day.

"Why aren't you talking," She asked, he voice slightly hurt, "Are you mad at me or something, because I'm sorry for whatever it is, I can go if you want me to."

His eyes widened and he shook his head.

No! I'm not mad at YOU!

He scowled at the door way to the living room, where his sister currently resided.

Nita brightened again considerably.

"Then at who, and why — HEY!" She snatched the marker from grasp as he gave up trying to stomp it to pieces and prepared to chuck it at the wall with extreme prejudice.

Kit pouted.

Nita smiled, she always thought he looked rather cute when he pouted, he seemed to shrink a couple of inches, and he crossed his arms, and his bottom lip stuck out just a bit more than the top, kind of like a sad puppy

…that or a four year old girl, she never really could decide. She tried again.

"Why are you so mad? You're usually King of All Things Optimistic."

The pout was gone and the marker forgotten. He stuck out a hand for her to put the pen into, giving her a look that hopefully conveyed the message, 'Though I'm sorely tempted, I won't murder the pen, I just need to write my answer.'

Carmela, she bet me 20 bucks that I couldn't be silent all day.

Nita smiled and tried to look sympathetic rather than highly amused. A rather hard feat, and she was extremely proud of herself for completing it.

"And you were dumb enough to accept."

Kit scowled. A facial expression that he seemed to be using with increasing regularity today.

Why?

Because it wasn't his fault! He didn't mean to get himself into this! He was used to Nita being there, helping him with things like this with her Amazingly Useful Nita Wisdom, which incidentally, was so Wisdom-atic, that it gave her enough wisdom to help her poor little Hispanic buddy out in situations like the one he was currently stuck in at the present time! 'Don't do that, Kit' 'Fire is hot, Kit' 'Forks don't go in microwaves, Kit.' He'd heard it all.

He began to draw another Angry Doodle, courtesy of Kit Rodriguez.

Sure he was intelligent, he took all advanced classes, but he was also mind-blowingly familiar with the phrase 'Common sense is not so common'

This time Nita wasn't there with her Amazingly Useful Nita Wisdom, she wasn't there to tell him that he was quite possibly THE most talkative person on this side of the galaxy, and Kit's faulty common sense genetic just happened to miss that small tidbit.

All he knew was that, 30 dollars, plus the 20 that he'd win off Carmela made 50, more than enough for a new pair of converse.

At least his math gene didn't fail him.

Yes Nita, yes I was. Do me a favor and kill me, on grounds of utter and complete moronic tendencies

This wasn't the first time he'd suffered due to faulty common sense genetics. He'd really have to talk to his parents about that, maybe there was some kind of operation that would help. He could see the ad in the paper. . .

We Help Stupid Kids CHEAP! Call Now!

The truly sad part was, that at this point in time, he probably would.

Gladly, too.

He continued to scowl as she bit her lip trying to keep from laughing at him. Then he stopped, at least she tried.

"Well, I'm sorry, if that helps at all," She giggled.

Very much so.

And he smiled, for some strange reason, it did. So maybe he wasn't angry at the universe.

His gaze turned to the pencil.

The little pencil that dared to break.

And decided that if not the universe, the world was still on his black list.

"Am I correct in assuming you've been bored all day, Mr. I Don't Know How To Keep My Fat Mouth Shut For More Than Five Seconds?"

Kit sighed in exasperation and annoyance at the world and pencils that were as faulty as his common sense gene. That and Nita had just called his mouth fat, which wasn't very nice at all.

YOU HAVE NO IDEA!!!

Nita took the pen away from Kit before he stabbed a hole in the table trying to dot the exclamation marks with as much vengance as humanly possible, and smiled thoughtfully.

"But it'd be kind of interesting though. You'd have time to dwell on what you were going to say, you'd be able to think about, 'Now why did I pick that response as opposed to the other one?' You'd be able to think about what you could say if you had the chance. It'd be enlightening."

Kit smiled. That was the Nita, proud owner of the Amazingly Useful Nita Wisdom, that he could have used roughly 24 hours ago. The girl who had bothered to memorize almost every constellation visible from their point in space instead of just saying 'Oooo, pretty' like a normal human.

The girl who found the process of photosynthesis amazing.

The girl who could explain to you exactly HOW that cloud formed to look like an elephant.

Where as if you gave him a yo-yo and a bag of chips, he'd be good all day.

No enlightenment required.

But, oh yes, he'd had a very enlightening day indeed. Instead of rambling on about school and teachers, and other government torture devices as he did their assignments, he was forced to just listen, listen and watch.

He'd been enlightened to how much he loved the sound of her voice.

He'd been enlightened to how her hair shone in the sunlight.

He'd been enlightened to how her grey eyes would flash when she was angry and soften and shine when she smiled.

He'd been enlightened to the amount of time he spent talking to her.

He'd been enlightened to how much he missed that time.

He'd been enlightened to how much he wanted to smash Carmela's head into the nearest wall for putting him through this.

The truth was, Kit knew he liked his friend, heck, Kit knew he was head over heals for her. Even with the faulty common sense gene, he wasn't dense enough not to realize that, though at times he wished he was.

But he also knew that he'd filed that feeling away, in the great file cabinet of his mind, under Things Never To See The Light Of Day…Ever, along with some choice memories of playing dress up in his mama's closet when he was a toddler, and gone on with his life.

Now that he was unwillingly forced to sit and actually shut up for enough time to think about this stuff…he noticed it, he noticed her, he noticed how truly and utterly INFURIATING it was to sit here and do nothing about it.

"KIT! Stop destroying the pencils!"

Hence the reason for many pencils being turned into Little Tiny Wood Chips of Frustration.

"There we go, that's better."

Kit was perfectly fine unenlightened. Kit could have gone on quite well without enlightenment and sat safely and loudly in the dark. Again, emphasis on the loudly, the adjective in which all of his actions had deprived of on this utterly HORRIBLE day!

"How much longer do you have?" Nita asked, fiddling with a piece of auburn hair.

Kit glared at the wall as if it were Carmela; did she know what she was putting him through?

Judging from the renewed cackling coming from the general vicinity of the living room, she did.

She was probably enjoying it too, the vile woman.

"Kit? Kit!"

He looked up.

"You spaced out. I said, how much time do you have left, is she letting you off at a certain time, or are you going to have to be a mime until tomorrow morning?"

Kit scowled at her as she tried to stop from giggling at a mental image of Kit in a mime suit on a stage. Amazing how much the people around him cared for him and his poor, bruised, temporarily quiet ego.

He picked up the paper, only reminding himself of the things he wasn't allowed to say for fear of loosing 20 bucks and pouted once more.

Kit didn't know how much longer he could take this. He should take Carmela to court for this, it was cruel and unjust punishment. He could see the newspaper headline…

Young Girl Sent to Jail for Horrific Torture of the Stupid!

Read About Miracle Cure on Page Two

Kit looked up to pass her the paper. He slid it over to Nita's side of the table, avoiding looking at her at all costs as she licked that last bit of lemon soda from her lips.

"You okay?" she asked, poking his head, the head that he gave up on supporting and had allowed to plop down onto his arms.

Kit waved an arm at the paper, indicating for her to read it and ignore him and all of his glorifying pathetic behavior.

"Well, that's not bad. It's 6:30 now." Nita smiled, "Knowing you, you're going to talk a mile a minuet the second you're able too, aren't you?"

She giggled as he nodded his head so fast that she thought that it was in danger of popping off and flying away like the pencils he had been throwing earlier.

Hopefully it wouldn't splatter into Little Kit's Head bits of Frustration.

Because that would be kind of gross and she had just washed her hair.

He scowled at her once more.

Nita, having nothing much to do except reread her book, watched Kit. He seemed to get moodier as he sat, fuming at his sister, longing to shout and rant and scream like he did during those few times he ever got angry.

Carmela was good.

Nita was inspired.

She looked up as a paper airplane hit her square in the nose; she glared at Kit who was now sporting a cocky grin.

Nita unfolded the rather well made paper air plane that looked as if it had once been the beginnings of a history paper in a past life, and scanned the contents it possessed.

The words 'How much time left?' were scribbled across something about the French Revolution and a picture of Napoleon with a badly drawn mustache-goatee ensemble.

"About five minutes." She answered, idly wondering if that was a beard, or just a really long tongue.

Kit looked like there was a hallelujah chorus, playing at extremely loud volumes, performing in his head. A chorus of which he was proudly a member of. He should make a poster.

The Soothing Voices of Christopher Rodriguez's Head!

Coming to a Brain near You.

(Schizophrenia not included)

…maybe not.

Time seemed to drag.

On and on.

On and on and on again.

It was as if time was traveling at the same rate as it did during band. Still moving, just so slow that it's almost imperceptible to any normal human.

It was enough to make one want to chuck a trumpet at the wall.

Which he'd totally do with no regrets, save for the fact that said particular hunk of metal had been taken away from him roughly an hour ago.

So pencils would have to suffice.

When Nita took his pencils away, he looked around for something interesting to stare at.

He tried the sink.

The chair. The chair that he was incredibly angry at.

And as it had to be so. Nita.

He watched as she pulled out the book that she had earlier.

He watched as she put that piece of hair behind her ear. As her eyes widened when the character of the book was in danger. As she smiled when she reached a part she liked.

There was no other way to describe it. She was adorable.

And he couldn't tell her.

"Kit, stop pouting!"

Well, what else am I supposed to do?

She rolled her eyes.

Her adorably grey eyes.

"Here, take my book."

She handed the rather thick book over to him, and Kit cocked an eyebrow as he read the summary.

It had to be the most…frilly…teen romance novel he had ever seen.

Right on down to the pink, heart printed cover.

I think I'll pass on that.

Nita laughed, "Dad bought it for me, I want him to think I liked it, so I switched the words of it with one of my fantasies."

Kit nodded and smiled, it was just the sort of thing she'd do.

How much time left NOW?

"43 seconds," she said, after a quick consultation with her watch.

He sighed and began to fold another paper airplane to pass the time, making sure to get every corner and fold as perfectly cornered and folded as can be, as to waste time that didn't seem too keen on passing by.

No, he scowled, today time had chosen to stick around and set up lawn chairs as the seconds formed their own little traffic jam in the continuum, holding out as long as possible.

"20 seconds."

He used what little attention span he had and devoted it to the airplane to distract himself.

And he finished it.

What was he supposed to do now?

This is where being productive leads you.

"15."

Kit stopped twirling the airplane and chucked it into the living room, hoping his aim was as good as it was that last time they had a math sub.

"7."

Kit grinned as Carmela's shriek proved him right.

"Five, four, three, two…ONE!"

"YES!"

Kit ran over to Nita, who was eyeing him as if he were some strange species of elephant back from the dead.

He did have a rather odd happy dance.

… A very noisy one at that.

Finally Kit turned to Nita and grinned proudly.

He raised a hand and pointed a finger at the girl sitting opposite him.

"It's rude to point."

"I don't honestly care."

Kit took a deep breath.

"You," he said, "Nita Callahan. Are adorable."

Again with the dead elephant look.

Maybe he should be put on display.

After his anti-stupid operation of course.

He'd be famous someday, one way or another.

"I am?"

"Yes," he nodded, "Very much so, in fact."

There had to be a limit on how many times you could look at a kid like he belonged in a zoo.

If there wasn't, he'd make a limit.

If she wanted to goggle at something like she was at the zoo, then she should go to the zoo and goggle. That's what they're there for.

To keep her from staring at him like that.

"Um…thank you?"

"You're welcome," Kit grinned. Nita looked as if she didn't know what to think and wouldn't know for quite sometime.

But Kit would not be deterred. He continued on, not showing any sort of embarrassment.

"You are adorable, and I would very much like to kiss you."

…or tact.

And he did.

The next week, not only was Kit sporting a new pair of converse high tops, but also a new girlfriend.

And Carmela was 30 dollars up, after a 50 dollar bet with Dairine.

It was good to be a mastermind.

A/N: Well, I'm a Girl. Who likes Boys. So this was a rather difficult point of view and I would dearly love to hear your thoughts. Review?

PLEASE?

And me, Bailey, and Michelle, have all noticed a significant lack of amusing oneshots, romantic or no. So we are initiating a call to all authors reading this, which I arrogantly hope is a significant number...

PLEASE WRITE MORE AMUSING ONESHOTS, WE CAN ONLY ANGST SO MUCH! EVEN IF YOU THINK IT'S CRAP, POST! I WILL AT LEAST REVIEW IT! THAT'S ALREADY ONE GARRAUNTED REVIEW! GO FOR IT! That will be all.