Can't Do This

Chapter 2: No More Excuses

Lindsay's head snapped up at the sound of the doors sliding shut. "I thought the elevator was shut down!?" She snapped, pushing herself into the standing position.

"It is. Notice we're not moving? I guess the controls weren't disabled." He said, opening the phone door and pulling it out, only to return it to the cradle a moment later.

"No luck. Seems like the phone got switched off when they disabled the car. Looks like it's just you and me, Montana." He told her, a sigh escaping, he hadn't even realized he'd called her Montana.

She froze in her place. He called me Montana…There was something about hearing that name, something about hearing his name for her… It made her feel, better, more normal, like things hadn't changed so much between the two of them.

He slid to the floor, knowing this wasn't going to be a quick save. They had well over an hour before anyone even considered starting up the elevator. He glanced up at his partner. She was pacing the small car, hands clenching and unclenching as she moved.

"Linds… Why don't you sit down? Seriously, you're makin' me dizzy." He told her, patting the floor next to him.

She considered the space next to him. It wasn't a huge elevator. Made for no more than probably 3 or 4 people max. That meant she'd be sitting right next to him. Close enough to smell him. She knew that if she sat down, she'd be practically touching him.

Danny watched emotions run across her face. "I don't bite. I just can't take the pacing. Sit, please." He begged her.

Just sit down. Who knows how long you'll be in here? And besides, you'll sit eventually. She sighed and stopped pacing. She slid to the floor with a thump.

"Thank you. See, isn't this much better?" He joked lightly.

Silence and darkness seemed to go hand in hand as the lights went out 5 minutes after the silence began.

"Well this should be fun. Now we have absolutely no idea what time it is and no way to tell." Danny muttered, his hands flopping down at his sides. His left hand landed on top of Lindsay's.

She felt his hand land on top of hers and just as quickly as it landed, he pulled away. "Sorry." He apologized.

She knew he was doing his best to respect her space and be completely professional. She also knew that it was killing him. They'd never acted this way with each other. The first words he'd ever said to her had been a joke. And now, she'd forbidden it.

She kept silent, still unsure of how to convert thought to word. She inhaled. Big mistake. She could smell him. She loved the way he smelled. His cologne was always subtle, the kind where you had to practically be on top of him to even get a whiff…Stop thinking about being on top of him! She commanded her head to behave.

His hand brushing against hers had brought back a few repressed "Montana" memories. He'd always taken for granted the ability to touch her in one way or another, on a daily basis, since… Well, since nearly the beginning. He hadn't realized how much the little things affected him until they were taken away.

"Lindsay…I… I don't like this." He started, then stopped, unsure of how to proceed.

"I don't like being trapped in an elevator either Danny, but we don't have a lot of control over that right now." Lindsay replied wearily.

"No, no… I mean, I don't like what's going on with us. I pretty much hate it actually. I can't even be myself around you now. Why is that?" He asked her.

For once, Lindsay was grateful it was dark. She was happy he couldn't see her. "I don't know Danny. I didn't ask you to stop being yourself. I asked you to be professional." She corrected softly.

"That's just it Lindsay. You're asking me to be this whole other person that I'm not. I've never had to be professional with the people in that lab. But for you, I tried… I tried to change for you. And I'm sorry, but it's just not working. This isn't who I am. So you're going to have to deal with it. You're going to have to deal with me winking at you, flirting with you, standing closer than I need to, and above all, being called Montana. You deal with that." He told her, his tone tired and tight.

She was at a loss for words. He'd never spoken to her that way before. It wasn't in his nature. Yet here he was, laying it out on the line, telling her that he didn't care what she wanted, he wasn't going to bend over for her. Truthfully, she'd been surprised that he had. It said a lot about his character that he was so willing to give her what she wanted. It also said a lot about how much he must have cared about her.

"Danny…." She trailed off, unsure of what her next words were going to be. She didn't have time to go further because he had more to say.

"No. I can't listen to you blow me off again. If you don't like me, fine, don't like me. But don't feed me some line about liking me a lot but not wanting a relationship, OK?! Cause I'm not goin' through that twice. You make me feel like a teenager! All this 'does she or doesn't she' crap is drivin' me crazy. Lindsay, all I want is to get to know you. I want to know what you do on the days your off. I want to see you in something besides work clothes. I want to be able to come over and hang out, watch the game with you. So yes, I want a relationship with you. I don't care if it's just friendly or it's more. Either way, Lindsay, you're my sanity. I need that." He finished. He rubbed his hands up and down his face, pushing his glasses onto the top of his head.

"Say somethin' Montana. I can't see you but I can still hear you breathing." He reminded her after several agonizing moments.

Say?! What am I supposed to say when someone says something like that?!! I'm his sanity!? How did that happen? She took a deep breath. Maybe what she needed was to stop talking and start feeling.

She knew he was still right there, she felt his thigh shift against hers. Tentatively, she lowered her hand to where she judged his shoulder to be. She got it right. She gently slid her hand down his bicep, down his forearm, to his hand. She threaded their fingers together. She marveled at the way they seemed to just fit. She slowly moved around until she was in front of him.

Danny wasn't entirely sure of what she was doing, but it seemed to have a purpose so she allowed her to go on with it. He felt her moving, and soon she was in front of him. He attempted to make out her face in the darkness but she was barely a shadow.

She reached her other hand out to his chest. Her hand was a little off and she got his neck. She didn't move her hand right away though. She left it there for a moment and allowed her fingers to feel his stubble, to feel his pulse under her fingers.

Deliberately, slowly, she moved her hand down his neck, over his collarbone and to his heart. She felt the rigidness of his muscles, the tight stomach beneath the T-shirt, and the gentle beating of his heart.

She needed to stop, she was going to drive him insane with the way she was touching him. It was taking every muscle in his body to keep him from touching her.

"Um… I…. I think you need to stop. You're… You can't do this." He told her, wrapping his hands around her wrists and pulling them down.

He didn't release her though. He kept a hold of her. "You understand that you do that to me… You get what you're doing… The effect you're causing?" He questioned softly.

At that moment, she'd never been more grateful for the lack of light, she knew she was bright red from embarrassment. She knew that it probably had some effect on him, but she hadn't anticipated such a straightforward line of questioning.

"I guess I hadn't really thought of it." She whispered in response.

She has absolutely no idea what she's doing to me… "Lindsay. You know I care about you. And I want more than just a friendly relationship with you. You tell me you don't. You make me bend over backwards to accommodate you, something I don't normally do, but for you I did it. And now, after I do all this, you start touching me. Sorry but I'm a little confused here." He explained, doing everything he could to keep the frustration out of his voice.

She knew he was right. She wasn't exactly being very consistent in her behavior. In fact, the only thing she was consistent about was being inconsistent. She wasn't being fair.

"Why did you do it? Why did you bend over backwards?" She asked after a moment.

He was silent for awhile as he considered the question. "I want you to know that you're worth it to me. That you're worth trying to be a better man for. Plus, I thought if I was a better man, you might change your mind." He admitted. He hated to confess the true meaning, but if it meant he'd get a straight answer, he'd do it.

She hadn't been expecting that sort of response. She hadn't thought she'd changed him, or rather, made him want to change. But here he was, standing, or sitting, rather, in front of her, telling her that he was trying to prove himself worthy.

"I'm sorry I wasn't more straightforward. Danny… I made a lot of mistakes when I was younger. A lot of mistakes that aren't even mistakes you'd associate with me. And after awhile, it seemed like every guy I actually thought I might really have a future with, I'd lose them. I'd either drive them away, or I wasn't what they were looking for, whatever the reasoning was, it never went my way. So, I started to realize if I just avoided the situations all together, that I wouldn't get hurt or hurt someone." She blurted out. She hadn't meant for it to all come out like that, but once the words started coming, she found it hard to stop.

He was silent for a long moment. Her past had prevented her from pursuing anything with the two of them. And now she was telling him the truth, what did that mean? Did that mean she was just being honest or did it mean she wanted to give him, them, a chance?

"What are you trying to tell me?" He asked at last. She'd moved back to her original position, sitting next to him, but now she was a bit closer, they were thigh to thigh. He rested a hand on her knee as he questioned her.

"I came here to get away from all of that…. I didn't want to deal with the mistakes, the lies, the uncomfortable situations. So I left. And I came here because I was so sure I'd never fall for a city boy…" She trailed off, her voice soft with resignation.

"You… Linds, did you fall for me?" He questioned, squeezing her knee with his hand.

"Maybe…. Yes… No…I don't know. I'm afraid of falling for you, of what it could do to me, you… Up until I moved here, I'd never really 'fallen' for anyone. I'd definitely had feelings for men, but I'd never experienced that all encompassing, total package feeling. Then I meet you and right away I knew if I didn't watch it, you'd get under my skin…. But that's just it… Even with my guard up… You still got to me." She explained.

He circled his thumb over her knee as he turned to face where she was sitting. "I gotta be honest with you Monroe. I don't have a long detailed explanation like that. I just know what I like and what I want. And I don't think I need to tell you what that is." He whispered.

She felt his breath on her cheek. He was only a few inches away.

This was that moment. She knew what was supposed to happen next. She knew there was supposed to be a kiss. And she knew it would have to come from her, he wasn't going to do it, he wasn't going to put himself out there again, she'd have to go to him. She swallowed. Do it, you know you want to.

She lifted her hand, slowly running it up his arm to his shoulder, squeezing lightly before continuing her ascent to his face. Her small fingers soon found his lips. She lightly traced over them, memorizing the way they felt underneath her finger tips. She lightly curled her fingers under his chin, drawing him towards her. He was centimeters from her lips. Without further hesitation, she brushed her lips to his, intending for it to be brief.

The moment she pulled away, he grabbed a hold of her upper arms. "The first time you kiss me, you pull away after 5 seconds and expect me to be OK with that? You gotta be kidding me!" He muttered incredulously. And without even giving her a chance to respond, he pulled her to her feet and flush against his body. "This is how you kiss me." He told her and pressed his lips to hers.

She felt her world spin backwards. Never ever had she been kissed like this before. She gripped his biceps for dear life. She could practically taste his desire. His tongue ran along the seam of her lips begging for entrance. She opened her mouth and his tongue entered, eager to taste her.

His hands gripped her hips as he maneuvered her up against the wall of the elevator car. Her hands buried themselves in his hair. After several mind numbing minutes, he pulled away ever so slightly. "Thank god you gave in… I was going to go crazy if I didn't eventually get to do that." He whispered softly.

"So were we all." A female voice came from behind them. They'd been so wrapped up in the kiss, they hadn't even realized the doors had been opened. Now they turned to see Stella and Hawkes.

Lindsay's face turned about 5 different shades of red and Danny couldn't keep the grin off his face.

Lindsay opened her mouth to try to explain. "You don't have to say anything Linds. We're just glad you got that out of the way." Hawkes told her as Danny and Lindsay exited the elevator.

Lindsay blushed an even deeper shade of red. "All I'm going to say is… It's about time." Stella said, patting her on the back.

END

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