Rurouni Kenshin © Nobuhiro Watsuki. Chapter 3- it's a long one 00 1100+ words. Enjoy!
Kenshin's hand clenched on Yoshida's arm as he wobbled down the street, wooden geta slipping on the wet stone and packed dirt of the street.
'If I hear one more snigger…just one more…'
Yoshida glanced at his face and blanched, almond dark eyes drifting to the blood under the Battousai's fingernails. Should he mention it…? Another look at the hitokiri's face and he promptly swallowed his words. Living to see thirty was an inviting prospect. Not even his mother-in-law could quite equal that ferocity, although she did have rather a penetrating glower reserved for when he spilt mud on the tatami mats.
Kenshin's head snapped round when he heard a faint voice whispering, "uh, Battousai-san? Your eyes are, well, they're sort of, well, yellow. Maybe you could, I don't know, tone down the homicidal tendencies?"
Those yellow eyes focused on Inoue's face, "homicidal tendencies? Do I look homicidal to you?"
Inoue almost bit through his tongue, and frantically suppressed the urge to reply, 'well, you do bear rather a striking resemblance to a maddened Genghis Khan in a kimono.'
The Ishin Shishi had three big rules:
Avoid innuendo in any way, shape or form around Iidzuka
Don't mention the word opium near Katsura
Never, ever piss off a certain red haired patriot who can knock you through a wall so hard you'll wake up believing that you are the divine emperor of Kazakhstan (No one had ever had the heart to tell Nakamura otherwise after his unfortunate 'sparring' accident…) and quite possibly missing several body parts
The gates of the Mori-ya beckoned, and they increased their pace, Kenshin muttering filthy curses about wet paving stones, wolves of any description and every wretched sandal maker in Japan. Two Shinsengumi levelled hard gazes at them from their guard positions, "Halt!"
Iidzuka fixed an ingratiating smile on his face, one which Kenshin rather uncharitably described as his ass licking grin, "Hotaru, accompanied by Yamada Hanatarou." He peremptorily gestured for the rest of the group to leave.
Yoshida, Inoue and Tanaka slunk away, two of them visibly shaking, the other almost catatonic. All three were mentally revising their applications for transfer to Hokkaido. Siberia if possible. The Ishin Shishi could always use some new recruits. Even if they were reindeer. Reindeer could bite, right? Very intimidating animals, reindeer. Big antlers.
Raising a hand, one of the Shinsengumi waved Iidzuka and Kenshin into the compound. Inside, a maid led them to the banqueting room, casting awed glances at the "beautiful geisha."
The party was already in full swing. Kenshin gritted his teeth and glided over to the nearest Shinsengumi, fixing a seraphic smile on his face that verged on 'high as a kite', touching on 'eying up the shochu with vicious intent' and with just a little hint of, 'die you Shogunate bastard.' The soldier took a step back.
He took the bottle of spirits from the other man's hand, taking what he viewed as a healthy sip, and what Iidzuka personally saw as enough to permanently disconnect oneself from reality. It sounded like an attractive prospect.
Suddenly, a voice called out, "how about a dance?"
Kenshin felt the bottle slide from nerveless fingers. His Ishin Shishi companion snatched it and began his path down the long, slippery route from frightened terror to peaceful oblivion, and through there to vegetation.
The shamisen player smiled at him, "let's try Gionkouta."
"The Ballads of Gion. I don't quite know that one yet," he muttered through gritted teeth. He was going to eat Harada Sanosuke's eyeballs for that suggestion.
"Just do your best, dear. They won't notice. If in doubt, just make it up as you go along."
Snapping his fan open, he waited for the first strains of music to emerge. Iidzuka was no help- he was already cross-eyed, swigging from the bottle of spirits with increasing vigour.
'Geisha, geisha…graceful. Light. As beautiful as a flower, and as gracious and flexible as a willow tree. That's what Okami said.'
He whirled the fan around in vaguely dance-like motions and spun around in a little circle. The Shinsengumi were bemused. The three hidden Ishin Shishi operatives watched him with unfolding amusement, fading into horrified fascination. The fan made long, lazy arching swoops as he gyrated.
'Buddha, please, please don't let me fall into Saitou Hajime's lap…'
The captain's mouth was hanging open slightly as he watched with a certain…terror? Kenshin threw the heavy dancing fan into the air and caught it smoothly with the other hand. He could handle this. It was almost like sword fighting. Make a pretty display, keep them watching the hands and pray that they don't notice the footwork or the intent in the eyes…
And don't drop your bloody fan.
There was laughter, and he heard Okita Souji's soft tones, "oh, dear. Never mind. More sake, Hijikata-san?"
The small incident was forgotten in a wash of alcohol. Kenshin picked up his fan and snapped it closed, straightening when he heard a voice. Saitou.
"I was not aware that the standard Geisha repertoire included that particular dance."
'No. No. I'd rather speak to Demon Hijikata, or- anybody! Anyone but him'.
Forcing his tones into an upper register, he squeaked out, "really? It's a new dance. Very new!"
"Indeed."
Saitou was smiling. That was good. 'Stupid is funny. Funny is harmless. Harmless means not having my kidneys ripped out…'
Kenshin forced a smile, eyes downcast to hide a betraying glint of amber, "do please excuse me a moment." He hurried over to Iidzuka before the captain could object. The man was leaning against a wall, sprawled out like a child. A maid knelt beside him. Kenshin vaguely recognised her as a nameless, faceless Ishin Shishi shinobi from a long ago meeting.
He sighed in exasperation and knelt down next to the girl, slapping Iidzuka sharply in the face with his dancing fan. The man didn't stir. He did it again for the hell of it. And again for an inappropriate remark from the week before. Once more for good measure. Oh, and once for his comments about the kimono. Actually, make that twice…
The shinobi hissed, "Hotaru-san! You'll give him a concussion."
"Correction. I already have given him a concussion." Oops… "he'll live" unfortunately.
A hand suddenly touched his shoulder, and he jolted. Hijikata's voice rumbled, "would you care for some assistance?"
Kenshin swallowed. There was something…predatory in those eyes. It hit him. Hijikata The most notorious pervert and lecher in the Shinsengumi, and probably in all of Kyoto. They said that he was always looking for new conquests…
Hijikata Toshizou smiled. Kenshin felt his vision blur as the sheer horror of the situation sunk in. The vice-commander of the Shinsengumi wanted to bed a cross-dressing Ishin Shishi hitokiri.
Notes:
Shinobi are more commonly known as ninja.
Kenshin's 'alter-ego' is slightly based upon Hotaru from Peacemaker Kurogane.
Gionkouta is a real geisha dance
Thank you to all my reviewers:D