This is one of my first Songfics, so be nice. Make sure you Read and Review; I take a lot of stock in what my readers have to say. I'm willing to try something new if you are willing to tell me how you feel about it. Example: I can't sing, so when I sing people (particularly my brothers) tell me to stop because their ears are bleeding. I'm not saying tell me how horrible it is, I'm saying, tell me how I can make it better.
Summary: Kagome loves Inuyasha, but after seeing him time and time with Kikyo has taken its toll on her emotions. She begins to inflict pain on herself (i.e. cutting) while the others watch helplessly. Will Inuyasha come to his senses before Kagome goes too far, or will Kagome be doomed to spend eternity alone? Written to the song: I Bruise Easily by Natasha Bedingfield.
My skin is like a map
Of where my heart has been…
Kagome sat in the bathroom, her dulled brown eyes focused on the razor before her. She sat curled next to the tub, and her knees drawn to her face; her chin perched on her knees as she hacked four thin lines along the span of her right wrist. She sighed as she released the pain she had carried with her for weeks and gave into the pain that rippled up her arm. She watched drowsily as the blood dripped from her wrist and into the tub she held it over. She smiled at the irony of it all. Kikyo, Inuyasha, her…
And I can't hide the marks,
But it's not a negative thing…
Kagome hopped out of the well, keeping her balance focused on her left hand. She gingerly checked the bandage she had secured around her right arm, wincing at the throb even the insignificant motion sent up her arm. Kagome didn't even bother to look around for Inuyasha, his days were spent with Kikyo. Wordlessly she headed for Kaede's Village, much in need of sleep after her "release".
Kaede, Shippo, Miroku, and Sango greeted Kagome at the door. Kagome's pale face and bandaged wrist answered any questions thay had, as sango and Miroku exchanged a worried glance. "Kagome, are you okay?" Sango asked, her voice quivering, as she stepped up to the thinning miko, placing a hand upon her shoulder. Kagome smiled, though only succeeding in looking paler and sadder. "Yeah Sango," she said raising her bad arm, I'm getting some help." She looked at her friend's face and smiled again. "Really, I'm feeling better,"
So I let down my guard.
Drop my defenses down by my clothes.
I'm learning to fall.
With no safety net to cushion the blow.
Flashback
"Inuyasha, can I talk to you?" Kagome said tenderly as she approached the hanyou from the back. She watched as Inuyasha shrugged acceptance. Kagome took her spot next to him, unable to say what she had practiced saying in her head so many times before. "Inuyasha…" she whispered as she tucked her ebony behind her ear and placed her chin on her knees. She shivered, it was suddenly cold. Glancing over in Inuyasha's direction she knew why. Tears welled up inside Kagome's eyes, but she refused to look away as Inuyasha was led away by the soul gatherers, and Kagome knew, into the hands of a ded priestess.
End Flashback
Kagome stared away from the fire, away from the friends that wanted to help her, but didn't know how. She was alone here in the Feudal Era. When they looked for the jewel fragments Kagome refused Inuyasha's proposal to ride with him and took her bike instead. She found ways to keep out of Inuyasha's way when fighting demons so he wouldn't have to protect her. She had wormed her way out of his life entirely, and the pain was unbearable.
I bruise easily,
So be gentle when you handle me.
There's a mark you leave
Like a love heart carved on a tree.
Kagome found her way to the well in the dark, Inuyasha had not protested, as he probably would have had he been there. Kagome jumped into the well, her mind already on the razor in the bathroom on the shelf where she had left it only days before. Kagome flexed her already-sore wrist and bit back the tears. Kagome numbly noted that the scabs were still fresh as she unwrapped the dressings and sighed. Silently she raised the razor with her right arm, zeroing in on her left wrist, she began her ritual. Her ritual to wash away at least some of the pain. The pain she endured as she sliced into her body, that was the mark she had earned. The mark she had earned for not being good enough for Inuyasha. Kagome's eyes closed as the pain washed over her, and the last thing she saw was the crimson blood coloring the bathroom floor.
I bruise easily.
Can't scratch the surface
Without moving me underneath
I bruise easily.
I bruise easily.
Kagome hissed as she took a breath inward. Her arms were burning, but, Kagome noted with a grim smile, her heart was free of pain. She cautiously opened her eyes and could only stare at the scene before her. It was as if the pristine tile had been spray painted a blood red. Kagome, eyes dull as ever, cleaned up the mess without so much as a glance at her arms. When she did, she reached into the medicine cabinet and pulled out what remained of the gauze. She made a note to herself to get more, she knew she would need it. Kagome, feeling weak, crashed into a kitchen chair as she quietly wrapped her arms. Afterwards, she picked up her yellow bag, no longer filled with treats, and slipped the razor in the front pocket. Slinging the bag over her back, Kagome proceeded to the well, slowly and painfully.
I found your fingerprints on a glass of wine
Do you know you're leaving them
All over this heart of mine too?
But if I never take this leap of faith
I'll never know
With no safety net to cushion the blow
Kagome stopped, wearily, as she hastened through the forest. Her breath caught in her throat as she noticed where she stood. She backed up, but left her hand on the tree. The same tree they had met, so, so long ago. She caressed the bark of the tree, feeling the rough bark scratch the palms of her hands. Kagome froze, as she peered around the tree, she shivered. Around the other side of the tall tree, Kikyo and Inuyasha were deep in conversation. "Kikyo, I love you, you know I love you."
Kagome shook her head, her hands throbbed as she held them tightly to her head. The pain of defeat overthrew the pain in her hands. Silently, she raced from the tree, drawing her razor out of her pack and slicing through the bandages that bound her horrific wounds. As she ran she sliced, and as she sliced, the pain in her heart dulled, and so did her sight.
I bruise easily
So be gentle when you handle me.
There's a mark you leave
Like a love heart carved on a tree.
I bruise easily
Can't scratch the surface
Without moving me underneath
I bruise easily.
I bruise easily.
Kagome lay there, her mind as numb as her body. She closed her eyes, silently hoping she wouldn't have to open them again only to see her life shattered once more. She felt the sticky liquid seep through her clothes, and knew for once she that she could finally sleep without the pain.
Anyone who can touch you
Can hurt or heal you
Anyone who can reach you
Can love or leave you
So be gentle
Inuyasha walked somberly from the pile of clay and dirt that was all that was left of lady Kikyo. His sadness turned to fear as he smelt blood not far off. His heart hammered as he realized how much it had to be and whose it could only be. He reached Kagome, breathless, and landed next to her lithe form. Blood covered her chest, and there was so much of it that Inuyasha had to search to find out where it was coming from. When he finally knew he felt sick. "Kagome!" he shouted, his voice cracking in fear as he scooped her limp body into his sturdy arms. She was breathing, but it was distant. With all of the speed he could muster he raced to Kaede's Village. He didn't think he could stand losing the love of his life, as he had so many years ago.
Kagome weakly opened her eyes, surprised she was so warm, and was slightly disappointed she was still alive.
I bruise easily
So be gentle when you handle me
There's a mark you leave
Like a love heart carved on a tree
I bruise easily
Can't scratch the surface
Without moving me underneath
I bruise easily.
I bruise easily
"Why Kagome? Why?" the voice beside her startled her. "Kagome, you scared me. Why would you do such a horrible thing?" Inuyasha whispered close to her ear. Kagome could feel the tears gathering in her brown orbs and fought them. "…Kikyo…" was all she could get out. Inuyasha smiled down at her. His voice filled with love for the woman before him, and Kagome didn't miss it. "Kikyo's gone." Inuyasha said his voice barely audible. "Kikyo was my lover once, but death changes people (Just a little bit of a joke) "Kagome, you're the one I want. I just wanted Kikyo at peace before I confessed…I never meant to hurt you." He reached out and stroked Kagome's soft skin, lying a gentle kiss on her forehead. Kagome fought to stay away, but as much as she wanted to talk now… there would be time in the future, lots of time…
Author's Note: hope you liked it! Please take the time out to review this fic, it would speed along the process of another story or even chapters of already created stories…REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! And I don't own Inuyasha, any of the characters or even the song, but I am a fan!