Title: The Great Hogwarts Debate of 1996 (1 of 2)

Author: Lady B

Pairing: Harry/Draco, Draco/Various

Word count: 1771 this part, 4592 total

Rating: NC17 (as a whole), cracky R for this part

Warnings: Some het, language, OOC, dom/sub (implied)

Summary for this Part: Draco is having a crisis of the homosexual kind – he doesn't think he's gay. It takes the entire seventh year female populace of Hogwarts and a few seventh year males to make him see the truth.

Disclaimer: If I was JKR, I wouldn't be writing this.

Author Note: For my "debate" prompt from my HPFanfic10x10 table. And Draco is kind of nice. And a bottom.

- - -

Draco thought this to be one of the worst nights of his life. Compared to the night Snape killed Dumbledore, that paled in comparison to what he was faced with right this moment.

He stared in horror at the sight that was slowly moving toward him on his bed.

Pansy Parkinson's naked breasts, attached to an equally naked Pansy Parkinson.

Draco gulped, feeling a bead of sweat trickle down the back of his neck.

And then Pansy placed a hand on his still-clothed thigh...

- - -

The entire house of Slytherin looked up in shock when Draco Malfoy ran, screaming like a girl, through the common room and out the portrait door, a smirking and redressed Pansy Parkinson following right behind him.

Blaise looked up at her with a arched eyebrow.

"Gay?" he asked.

"Definitely," she grinned. The common room erupted into laughter.

- - -

Draco slept poorly that night, having nightmares of Pansy's breasts trying to attack him the entire night.

There were dark shadows under his eyes when he arrived at the Slytherin table for breakfast. Blaise handed him a cup of coffee, which he drank with a grateful smile.

"You look like shite," Blaise told him.

"I didn't sleep too well," Draco yawned, forking some eggs onto his plate.

"Bad dreams?"

"Like you wouldn't believe!"

"Tell me about it."

Draco was silent for so long, Blaise wondered if he'd fallen asleep into his food. Finally, Draco turned to look at him.

"Blaise, why do girls have so many...so many...squishy bits?"

Draco's expression was so comically serious, Blaise lost it. He fell out of his seat, laughing like a hyena, tears streaming from his eyes.

He did not see Draco draw his wand. The next thing Blaise knew, he was transfigured into a donkey. He brayed loudly as Draco stormed from the Great Hall amid the laughter of the rest of the students (and a few of the teachers as well).

- - -

Day two of Draco's little crisis wasn't much better than day one. He had cornered a few of the more attractive seventh year girls and snogged them all. When things tried to go further, he visibly shuddered at the thought of putting his manhood anywhere near their more...squishy bits.

- - -

As the weeks went on, more rumors about Draco and his sexual crisis began to surface. By this time, he had gone through nearly two-thirds of the seventh year female populace and each encounter had left him feeling violently ill.

He went to the only person who he thought would help him out.

He quickly knocked on the door and went into the room before a word was spoken.

"Severus, I'm having a problem!" Draco exclaimed without preamble. Snape looked up from the papers he was marking, and glared at his godson.

"Draco, please refrain from tossing open my door like a Gryffindor. It doesn't suit you."

"I don't care about your bloody door! I'm having a crisis here!" Draco exclaimed, waving his arms about helplessly. Snape set down his quill and regarded the young man standing before him. He had been privy to some of the more mundane rumors from his own house and decided to test the theory Pansy Parkinson had presented to him the week before.

Eying Draco, Snape took something from his desk drawer and tossed it. Draco caught it with one hand and looked at it. It was a magazine, Potions, Pestles and Poultrices in Polite Society.

"What's this for?"

"Open it," Snape replied. Sighing, Draco flipped open the book halfway and looked at the pages. His face flamed red and he quickly closed the magazine with a sharp snap. He looked at the cover again and saw that the title had changed. The most popular gay men's porn magazine in Wizarding Britain, Playwitch, was in his hands. The model on the front cover, who reminded him of Potter for some reason, winked at him. He slammed the magazine face down on Snape's desk.

"Bloody hell!" he hissed, eyes wide.

"How did that make you feel?" Snape asked.

"Kind of funny. My heart is racing, for sure, at any rate," Draco admitted.

"Draco, there's no law stating you can't be gay. They won't throw you in Azkaban for it."

"There's one problem with that statement, Severus. I'm not gay."

Draco turned on his heel and stormed from the room.

"That's debatable," Snape stated, returning to his marking.

- - -

A week later and Draco was about ready to scream or use an Unforgivable. He was beyond annoyed and on top of that he was sexually frustrated. And his right hand was beginning to ache with all the wanking he'd been doing. He had gone through the entire seventh year female populace and nothing was working. He knew he was getting desperate when he started eying some of the sixth and fifth year girls, including Ginny Weasley.

He growled in frustration, catching the attention of his current Potions partner, Gryffindor Seamus Finnegan

"Problem, Malfoy?" he asked softly, trying not to attract Snape's attention.

"Sod off," Malfoy muttered.

"Just trying to help, Merlin!"

Draco sighed, and as desperate as he was, he could not believe he was about to have this conversation with a Gryffindor of all people.

"Meet me after class, Room of Requirement," Draco told him. Seamus nodded and they went back to their potion as Snape came near them.

Seamus was waiting for him when he arrived. He was sitting on a bunch of cushions that littered the floor and Draco arched an eyebrow at him.

"It's more comfortable," Seamus shrugged. Sighing, Draco sat down beside him. Both boys were silent for the longest time.

"So is there a reason you made me come here, or should I just leave?" Seamus asked.

"Shut up, I'm thinking."

"Is that what all that steam coming out your ears was for? I thought you ate something foul."

"Don't make me hex you, Kilt Boy."

"Oliver Wood wears a kilt, not me."

"Shut it."

"All right! Sheesh, you're tetchy."

Silence reigned once again.

"Finnegan, how did you know you were...um...not attracted to the female species?" Draco finally asked, his face red with embarrassment. Seamus wore a look of shock on his face and Draco was nearly tempted to punch him.

"Malfoy, are you trying to tell me you're gay?"

"I'm not gay! Why does everyone keep asking me that?"

Stage one: denial. Seamus thought to himself.

"Dr-Malfoy. I want to try something. Will you let me?"

"Depends on what it is."

"Just some word association. Completely harmless."

"All right."

"Potions?"

"Snape." he replied.

"Quidditch?"

"Snitch."

"Vanity?"

"Mirror."

"Voldemort?"

"Git."

"Breasts?"

"Gross!" Draco visibly shuddered.

Interesting reaction, "Cotton?"

"Soft."

"Hard?"

"Cock."

Seamus raised his eyebrows. Draco didn't seem to realize he had said it.

"Arse?"

"Sexy."

"Whose?" Seamus was curious about this.

"Potter's of course!" Draco huffed like it was the most obvious answer in the world.

"I didn't know you fancied Harry."

"Well look at him, he's bloody hot! His pink kissable lips that he's always biting when he's shy or nervous, his green eyes that pierce your soul and hair just begging to be grabbed during passionate nocturnal activities..." Draco's voice trailed off and he stared at Seamus, who was looking as shocked as he felt, "Bugger...I think I'm gay."

Stage two and three: acknowledgment and acceptance.

"Or Potter-sexual. And it's not a bad thing."

"It is for me! I'm the only Malfoy left! I'm supposed to marry some nice witch had have lots of children!"

"Draco," Seamus stated slowly, "You can still have children, just not in the traditional way. And no one will hex you for being gay."

"How do you know?"

"Because I'm gay," Seamus told him, watching Draco's eyes. Draco looked down at his hands.

"Oh."

They were both silent again.

"So, you fancy Harry?"

"I guess so. It's not like he fancies me back or anything. He hates me."

"Hmm," Seamus muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing. We should probably go, dinner will start soon," Seamus noted, rolling to his feet. Draco stood as well.

"C-Can you do me a favor?" Draco stammered.

"If I can."

"Will...uh...will you kiss me. I-I just want to m-make sure I'm not having misplaced feelings o-or something."

Seamus's eyes lit up like stars and he grinned.

"Gladly," he smirked, pulling the blonde close. Draco had time to suck in a surprised breath before the Irishman's lips were covering his own. Seamus groaned at the feeling of the softness of Draco's lips beneath his own. His tongue teased the seam of Draco's lips, asking without words to be let inside and was rewarded when Draco hesitantly parted his lips. Seamus wasted no time in slipping his tongue inside, exploring the hot slick cavern and trembling tongue beneath his own.

Draco felt his blood racing as Seamus kissed him. This wasn't anything like the kisses he had with the girls. This was something hot and forbidden and it immediately conjured up Harry Potter in his mind, those pink lips devouring his own while green eyes stared into gray. Draco moaned, feeling his cock harden in his trousers.

Hearing that moan, somehow knowing it wasn't for him, Seamus pulled away. He took in Draco's flushed cheeks and kiss-swollen lips as those gray eyes slowly opened.

"Thank you," Draco whispered, his voice husky with desire. Seamus made a mental note to immediately search out his boyfriend, Dean, to explain where he'd been and what he'd been doing, why he'd done it, pray for forgiveness, and hoped to get shagged into the ground.

"My pleasure," Seamus nodded, leaving the room.

- - -

Both of them entered the Great Hall at the same time, and no one missed their disheveled appearance. Seamus was aware that he was being scowled at by Dean and quickly went to his side. He also noticed that Harry was staring back and forth between him and Malfoy, a hard glint in his eye that had Seamus wondering about it.

Was Harry...jealous? Seamus wondered to himself with a mental grin. He felt his thigh being pinched, and not in a good way, and looked at his boyfriend.

"You are in so much trouble," Dean scowled.

"Will you hear me out first? I had a reason."

"I'll give you that, but you're still going to be punished," Dean stated, pinching Seamus hard on his arse in promise. Seamus's cock hardened at the thought of his upcoming 'punishment' and he turned to eat. He had a feeling he was going to be needing the energy later.

- - -

Part II: Harry stakes his claim.