Disclaimer: do I need one of these? Why do I have to wright one? Whats the point of living if I can't own MY STUPID STORIE!!!!! Ok, I'm done with my rant, I do not own Erik, blah blah blah, yada yada yada... and the "unbirthday presents" is not mine eather, it's from ALICE IN WONDER LAND...I think...

(few minuets later, when authoress is back to normal) Howdy everyone! I'm glad to be back on FANFICTION!!! I haven't been posting any thing 'cuz I've been really busy with this play I'm in... I know, excuses, excuses, ok, without further adieu, my story,

How to Gain the Affections of an Erik!!!!!! First up, Gerik!

buy him a dozen perfectly red roses

buy him chocolate, preferably in heart shaped box

buy him birthday, and "unbirthday" presents

ask him to sing you MOTN right before you go to bed

offer to sing him MOTN right before you go to bed

when ever he says some thing, agree with it at once

never say anything violent, he is really a gentle soul

tell him you've seen all his film, but can't understand how a sexy thing like him didn't get the girl in the end

all ways serve him vegetarian foods, he can't stand the thought of some one killing a poor animal

complement him an his ultra tight trousers

ask him about his music, and pretend to under stand when he talks about "notes" what are those any ways?

Buy him cherry red lip gloss (a/n "Ahh!" Authoresses runs off as flames come pouring out of the computer, "Sorry, sorry! That's supposed to be for Raoul, not Gerik!" (but you got to admit, some times he is pretty foppish))

All right, now we have some suggestions for those of you who want to marry the Leroux Erik...

My only advise for you ( if you ever happen to meet him) is to RUN FOR THE HILLS!!!! If, despite my warnings, you decide to go ahead and gain his affections, try to get your self accidentally punjabed by him, and he might pity you afterwards... emphasis on the might.

And last, but not lest, suggestions for gaining the affections of your Erik,

pft, I don't know, isn't he supposed to be your Erik?

WORNING: DEATH OR SERIOUS INJURY CAN AND MAY OCCUR IF ANY OR ALL SUGJESTED AFFECTIONS ARE TRIED ON GERIK, OR/AND ERIK.

Well, hope you enjoyed that... it was a bit, weird... but, oh well, REVIEW!!!! and please, no flames, this was just for fun. Oh, one more thing, I didn't do Kays' Erik because I've ever read her book (sob) I ordered it for ever ago on amazon, but it still hasn't come!!! (authoress leaves to have pity fest and eat Cookies and Cream ice cream)